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    It was late in the morning as Dawn walked down the cobbled streets of the bustling Cascade City, passing by a plethora of pokemon going about their business before returning to the small house she and her two friends shared. As the Espeon approached the stone structure, she noticed that the mailbox built into the front of the house had its small red flag raised. Dawn rolled her glossy eyes, silently hoping that it wasn’t a bill for anything Phobos or Rags had racked up.

    Using Psychic, the red gem on the mauve cat’s forehead began to glow. A lavender aura surrounded the bag over her shoulder, before pulling out a key using the same energy. Dawn inserted it into the side of the mailbox and opened it outwards, revealing some papers and a letter. Looking them over, they were all advertisements for things that Dawn didn’t care for. At least for the most part. 

    “…Okay maybe keep the grooming coupon,” Dawn said to herself. However, when she finally got to the letter, her heart skipped a beat. 

     

    On the folded paper was a crimson wax seal bearing a crest: an octagon surrounding a silhouette of a stylized Eevee’s head and mane with a peony flower on either side. She was all too familiar with this crest, and the sight of it irritated her to no end. 

    Dammit… dammit, dammit, dammit!” She cursed under her breath, tossing the letter to the ground in front of her. The Espeon considered tearing it apart then and there before a last-second thought stopped her. 

     

    “This better be important.”


     

    Stepping inside, the wooden floor creaked as Dawn made her way into the main room. As expected the Espeon found one of her roommates, Phobos, who was fast asleep as he lay sprawled out on the floor. Under normal circumstances she would have woken him up, as Dawn wanted to get the red and black fox to have a more regular sleep pattern. But after how hectic their show last night had been, she decided to let the Zoroark rest.

    Phobos slowly rolled onto his back, revealing a small rodent-like figure made out of faded yellow cloth. The patchwork pokemon slowly pulled themselves up before glancing around the room. Setting their eyes on Dawn, their top half tilted to the side as if to ask her a question. 

     

    “Don’t worry about it,” Dawn responded, a sense of annoyance clearly present in her voice. 

    Rags watched as the Espeon walked into the next room before quietly shutting the door behind her. The Mimikyu stared intently at the door as a shadowy, clawed arm pushed out from underneath the cloth. He brought two claws to his ‘chin’ as he thought, slowly rubbing them in place against his costume before pulling them away and snapping them.


     

    Dawn stared at the crest on the wax seal covering her letter before using Psychic to pull it off. Opening the letter, Dawn began to quietly read it aloud to herself. 

     

    Hi Dawn, it’s definitely been a while hasn’t it. Just thought I’d check in to see how you’ve been. Really hope Cascade is treating you well, because I’ll be honest; things around here have been a bit tense ever since you just up and left like that. Especially after Mom and Dad finally opened that Paradise Plaza thing they’d been talking about, and by this time you get this it’ll probably have been a few days. 

    Anyway, I’ve been put in charge of running some of the entertainment and got to thinking that maybe I could convince everyone to put in a slot for you guys. But I’d need to see you guys in action first, so-

     

    “She isn’t…” Dawn thought as she stopped reading. Taking a deep breath, the Espeon continued with a loose sense of dread hanging in the air. 

     

    I’m coming to visit you and the gang. Oh, and tell Phobos and Rags I said hi.

    -Selene

     

    Folding the letter back up and putting it down, Dawn began to pace around the small room until the sound of rustling eventually got her attention. Turning her head to the side, the Espeon saw Rags holding the letter in his shadowy claws. Using Psychic on the letter, she pulled it away from the Mimikyu before setting it on a nearby desk. 

    “Rags! What are you-” Dawn exclaimed before cutting herself off, and trying to calm down. “…I would appreciate it if you kept your claws off of my mail.” The Mimikyu began to motion his claws around, crafting an explanation to the Espeon.

    “You could have just asked me if it was a bill. Or at least waited until I left the room…” The Espeon responded, the latter of which under her breath.

     

    She and Rags made their way towards the other room to find Phobos waking up. Smacking his tongue a few times, the Zoroark was fighting every urge he had to fall back asleep. Just as his eyes started to close however, Phobos felt a sharp sting on the side of his face. 

    “Ah! I’m up, I’m up! …Owww.”

     

    Having a good feeling of where the source of his facial discomfort came from, he turned his head to face Rags. “Did you have to do that so hard?” Phobos asked as he rubbed his cheek. Rags responded by gesturing both of his shadowy claws forward. 

    “It doesn’t matter if it worked, it- …why am I even arguing with you.” 

     

    Dawn then cleared her throat to get the two pokemon’s attention. “Oh, uh… good morning-” “Midday,” Dawn jokingly cut Phobos. 

    “Midday… Is something up?” 

     

    “My sister’s coming.” 

    A confused look fell over the dark type’s face. “What brought this on?” 

     

    Dawn sighed. “It’s that Paradise Plaza thing my parents started… It’s done. And Selene is the head of entertainment.” 

    “She’s inviting us to join, isn’t she?” Phobos asked as he narrowed his gaze. Dawn and Rags both nodded in response.

     

    Phobos slowly stood up as he put his crimson claws to his chin. “If that’s the case, then… I kinda have some news too,” The Zoroark nervously said as he glared away from the two, raking his claws through his red and black mane. 

    “Phobos… What kind of news?” Dawn asked with a glare. Rags gave the Zoroark the same look, crossing his shadowy appendages. 

     

    “Well assuming Selene wants to watch our show first, let’s just hope she’s cool with a… change of venue .”

    ‘You’re doing that thing where you’re being vague. Now talk,’ Is what Phobos got from Rags’ glare, the ghost type’s beady eyes piercing into the Zoroark like a pair of spears. 

    With a sigh, Phobos relented. “The theater’s closing down.” 

     

    A sudden silence fell over the room as Dawn and Rags stared at Phobos in shock. “…What?” Dawn asked, still processing this new information. 

    “Just for like, the next year or so! But likely it’ll be longer- ” Phobos continued, holding up his claws as he took a step back from his perturbed teammates.

     

    “Don’t look at me like that! I just found out last night!” The Zoroark said, hastily reaching for a top hat on a nearby shelf. Sitting inside was a paper which Phobos pulled out and waved in front of the others. Dawn yanked the note out of Phobos’ claws using Psychic before she and Rags read over it. 

     

    “Apparently they’re fixing up the place because it’s ‘unsafe and unsuitable for use.’ ” The Zoroark continued, making air quotes with his claws as he spoke.

    “So we’ve lost our jobs,” Dawn flatly said. 

    Just until the theater’s fixed up… Probably ,” Phobos sheepishly answered, only to be met with a glare from Rags. However the Mimikyu’s gaze softened as his friend’s face fell. “Look,” Phobos said, still running his claws through his mane as his eyes shifted away. 

     

    “I know we came here to get away from Stonehaven, but…” 

     

    The three pokemon could only stare at each other as a heavy tension flowed through the room. They all knew what needed to be done, but whether or not they had the conviction to do so was another question altogether. Rags looked between Phobos and Dawn, knowing the two were the most upset by the idea of returning to their hometown. He still remembered the day when both he and the Zoroark had quit the guild there to achieve their dream of performing. And the Mimikyu knew Phobos was thinking about it too, as well as something else the two swore not to speak of.


     

    After a couple of days passed, Phobos and Dawn were waiting by a road outside of Cascade City for Selene to show up. The two were soon joined by Rags, who had brought three ice cream cones with him. “Thanks buddy,” Phobos said, accepting his cone of lavender flavored ice cream. 

    “Been wanting to try this for a while… I wonder whose idea it was to put flowers in ice cream?”

     

    However after Dawn took her’s with Psychic, Phobos was handed a bunch of silver and bronze coins by the Mimikyu. “What’s this?” The dark type asked, only for Rags to shove the coins closer to him. 

    “What do you mean change? …Wait. Rags, did you use my money?!” Rags rolled his eyes and waved out with his shadowy claws. 

     

    “We both know you’re not gonna-” The Mimikyu ‘interrupted’, pointing up a single claw at Phobos. 

    “Okay, when did you-” 

    “No, Rags is right. He did pay you back for that,” Dawn said before licking her ice cream. “Then you blew it on snacks.”

     

    The discussion of Phobos’ poor spending habits continued for the next few more minutes, until a carriage drawn by a Mudstale wearing an orange guild scarf approached them. “Dawn!” A high-pitched voice shrieked as a door on the side burst open. 

    “Here we go,” Dawn thought, finishing her ice cream. As much as Dawn loved her little sister, Selene had a tendency to be a bit… much. An Umbreon stepped out onto the ground and rushed towards the Psychic type, the yellow rings across her body beginning to glow. 

     

    “It’s nice to see you too Selene,” Dawn replied, still not understanding how Selene could have so much energy.

     

    The black-furred fox then turned her attention to Phobos and Rags. “Long time no see you two!” Selene cheerily said. The two waved back before the ecstatic Umbreon turned her back towards the trio, prancing in place like a pokemon a fraction of her age. “Alright, so how about we all head to the-” 

    “Yeah that’s not happening,” Dawn flatly said as her gaze shifted away.

     

    Informing Selene of recent events, the Umbreon’s mood turned. “Well I’m sorry to hear that. But hey, look at it like this. It’s like you guys were meant to-” Selene however stopped herself upon noticing how uncomfortable her sister and friends began to look. “Sorry about that. Just got kind of excited there.”

    “But… I really did miss you. And it’d be nice if you came back.” Selene said with a hint of sadness in her voice, her long ears lowering as her tail dropped down. “And maybe we could hang out like we used to, y’know…”

     

    “So father didn’t put her up to this…” Dawn thought before turning to her friends. The three grouped closer together and began to whisper. 

     

    “You kinda wanna give it a chance now, don’t you?” Phobos asked. 

    “Well now that I’m sure our father didn’t send her in an attempt to collect me… perhaps.” Phobos then turned his attention to Rags. “What about you?” 

    The Mimikyu took a moment to think before giving a shrug with his shadowy appendages. He then gestured his claws out at Phobos, asking him the same.

     

    The Zoroark nervously swallowed. On one hand, they did need the money. But on the other hand, there were things waiting for him in Stonehaven that he’d rather forget about. “…Only if you guys are okay with it.”


     

    Two weeks. It had been almost two weeks since they left Cascade City, having recently arrived in Stonehaven. But still Phobos laid awake in bed thinking about what he had gotten himself into. Sluggishly pulling himself up, the Zoroark stepped towards and looked out the window. Staring down at the stone houses and streets below, it was easy to see that while busy, it held a calmer, more refined atmosphere than Cascade City.

    However Phobos was anything but calm, having ordered more pokepuffs be sent to his room then he’d care to admit. Sure the suite he was allowed to stay in was nice and all, but he couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it as he kept pacing around. “Rags, it’s time we get going,” He said to the Mimikyu who was sitting on a nearby desk. Rags then leapt up and into Phobos’ mane before using one of his long, shadowy limbs to grab a bag by the bed, pulling it towards the Zoroark.

     

    Reaching for black top hat off of a rack standing next to the door, Phobos placed it on his head before strapping the bag over his shoulder as he prepared to leave. Today was the day that he needed to show something new to Selene and everyone else in charge of the entertainment division. He was sure the Umbreon would like what he had planned, but now to some extent the outcome was out of her paws. As his and Rags’ fate was now in the hands of strangers. And while he had dealt with this sort of thing prior to performing in Cascade City, this felt more intimidating. 

    Seeing the growing panic on Phobos’ face, Rags flicked the Zoroark’s cheek before dramatically pointing to the dark type’s chest, and then the door. “Right. No stalling,” Phobos said, composing himself. Rags gave his friend a ‘thumb’s up’ with his claws before retreating into the Zoroark’s mane. 

     

    Placing his claws on the door, Phobos took a deep breath. “We can do this. I can feel it.”


     

    “They’re all watching me… I can feel it,” Phobos mumbled as he walked down the wide, stone road of the new Paradise Plaza. 

     

    Many shops and eateries lined the street, not unlike Cascade City. But unlike Cascade, there was a clearer divide amongst the populace; Phobos taking into account that the pokemon here seemed to hold themselves higher in this part of the city than anywhere else he had been. Of course the Zoroark was very well aware of this fact, as back in his and Rags’ guild days were surrounded by uppity pokemon that he found unbearable to work with.

     

    Rags popped out of the Zoroark’s mane and dramatically stuck out his shadowy claws, running them down as he glared at the dark type. “This isn’t like performing Rags,” Phobos whispered, glancing at the judgmental gazes surrounding him. 

    Further down at the end of the road, Phobos and Rags stood before what looked like a gilded castle that Dawn had introduced to them the other day as ‘The Grand Hall’. “Maybe things will be different this time,” Phobos huffed.

     

    After walking down the cobbled path Phobos and Rags entered what was the most grand and extravagant building they had ever stepped into. Stone statues of legendary pokemon stood between thick marble pillars lining the wide, off-white corridor, each one seemingly holding up the decorated ceiling that hung high above them. Further down, Phobos would soon find himself inside a massive auditorium where he could see a number of pokemon standing in a line on the stage.

     

    “She did mention there’d be others applying,” Phobos mumbled before making his way down to the stage.


     

    Selene sat alongside four other pokemon in the frontmost seats of the theater. To her left was Dawn, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere else. But on her right sat their father, a serious looking Sylveon wearing glasses and a maroon vest. He remained stone-faced as his focused glare scanned over the pokemon his youngest daughter had scouted. Selene’s gaze occasionally shifted to the fairy type, growing a bit nervous for Phobos and Rags. As while the two were closer to her sister, she could still remember that ever since they were all kids, Peony didn’t particularly like them; not wanting the two to be around her and Dawn.

    “Everyone go wait backstage,” Peony said, waving one of his ribbon-like feelers at the pokemon before him. He looked over a paper before sighing at the long list of names. “When I call you up… well, you know.”

     

    Backstage, Phobos was anxiously pacing back and forth as several other pokemon each waited their turn to show Peony and company what they were capable of. The Zoroark glanced at the others around him, pokemon either talking with one another or getting in some last minute practice. Phobos could have sworn he saw someone brandish a couple of silver spikes, suddenly feeling he needed to be ready to duck for cover. 

    “No, relax… These guys are professionals…” He thought before seeing the Raichu drop one of the metal blades. “Probably…”

     

    But then a realization came to the Zoroark. “Right, they’re pros… And the only big job we’ve had was at a place that just shut down…”  

     

    However Phobos’ actions were much to the chagrin of a Meowscrada nearby. The slender, bipedal cat wearing a dark violet cape crossed his off-white arms and shook his head. “What’s wrong, mister Lionel?” A Braxin asked, looking up at the masked cat. 

    Glancing down at his assistant, Lionel then turned to look at the stage. “If I were you, I would concern myself with my own performance.” A small frown showed on the fox’s face before she looked down in disappointment. 

     

    “But if you must know,” Ember heard the Meowscarda say. “Promise me that I won’t catch you acting like that before a show. It is at best, a clear sign of mediocrity…” Lionel said with a smirk as he turned towards Phobos, making sure the Zoroark could hear. 

    Phobos glared at the duo, as Rags emerged from his mane and did the same. Ember quickly looked away, not wanting to be involved in a potential feud. “So there’s two of you.” Scoffed Lionel.

     

    “Is there a problem?” Phobos asked aggressively, his glare unbreaking. 

    Lionel rolled his eyes. “I just didn’t think they would allow… amateurs .” 

     

    Catching the snide tone of that last word, Rags then stuck up his middle claw up at the Meowscarada.

    Ember tried her hardest not to laugh as Lionel stood with his mouth agape. But before the Meowscarada could say anything, he heard his and Ember’s names being called. 

     

    “Lionel, and Ember! You’re up!” They heard Peony call from outside. 

    The Meowscarada began to tense up but regained composure before strutting towards the main stage. “You and I will deal with this later. Ember, come.” 

    “Yes, mister Lionel!” The Braxin replied before turning towards Phobos and Rags, giving a quick, apologetic bow. 

     

    “Sorryaboutthat, he’slikethiswitheveryone. Gottago!” She uttered, quickly leaving to join the cat.

     

    “Fucking prick…” Phobos huffed. 

    “A prick he may be, but he’s a talented one.” 

    Phobos turned to the source of the remark, a Bisharp who was idly sharpening the blades on their arm. Phobos looked back at the main stage. “You know I’m glad he’s wearing that cape. Something to stop the bleeding when he rubs up against his own personality.”

     

    But as the dark type continued to peer out at the stage, it began to quickly set in that the Meowscarada knew what they were doing. The spectacle ended with Lionel leaping through several rings of fire that Ember spun into the air. Each one was progressively smaller than the last, yet the grass type came out completely unscathed. With that, the duo bowed before making their way backstage. Both Lionel and Phobos glared at each other as the Meowscarada walked past, hearing Peony call out for the Zoroark and Mimikyu.

     

    “Phobos… and Rags…” The dark type could hear the resentment in the Sylveon’s voice. He knew for a good while that Peony didn’t like him, making things a bit more difficult in his mind. 

    “You can do this Phobos…”


     

    While the others stared up at the stage, Peony was looking over papers again. ‘Phobos and Rags’ he read over in his head, and while the Sylveon wasn’t thrilled to be within the duo’s general vicinity, he had to shove whatever personal feelings he had about them aside for the sake of being professional. Readjusting his glasses, Peony looked back up at the stage and readied himself.

    The five pokemon watched as a Zoroark wearing a top hat and red bow tie walked onto the stage before tripping falling on his face. An audible thud echoed through the room, adding to the awkwardness as their shocked stares focused on Phobos. His hat had fallen off as well, landing upside-down Rags slowly peered up from inside the hat before looking at Phobos and sinking back down. Watching from backstage, Lionel chuckled as he slowly shook his head. 

     

    A few seconds later the Mimikyu reemerged, hopping out wearing an outfit resembling the Zoroark. “Okay, now that I have your attention. The show can truly begin!” Phobos’ voice echoed before Rags tore his costume away. 

    In his place stood Phobos, posing dramatically with a large piece of crimson fabric in his claws. Tossing it aside, he bent down to pick up his hat before dumping his partner out of it.

     

    The two pokemon then moved to either side of the stage, Phobos and Rags giving each other a nod. One by one, the Mimikyu shot off a series of shadowy orbs at his partner; who in response flashed a number of cards between his claws. He threw one at each of the incoming Shadow Balls causing them to detonate in the shapes of different card suits. 

    Running out of cards, Phobos pulled an entire deck bound with string from his mane and threw it at Rags. The Mimikyu in turn swept at it with Shadow Claw, separating the deck and sending cards everywhere. One in particular landed in the seats, namely where Peony was sitting. 

     

    Rags then rapidly shot out his shadow-like arms, swinging them in such a way that the mess of cards stayed airborne. The flurry soon began to concentrate towards the center of the stage, each one gaining a slightly visible mauve aura. Soon the blur of cards opened to show Dawn balancing on her forepaws, using only two of the cards as platforms. She then continued to use Psychic to form the cards into a staircase, before doing a flip and marching down.

     

    Phobos then turned his attention to Peony, holding up a single card in his claws; the King of Spades. “This your’s?” 

     

    The Sylveon quickly turned his head to the side, finding Dawn’s spot empty before looking down at the card before him. The King of Spades. 

    “Yes,” The fairy type said in a monotone voice. “Though that doesn’t seem to be the only trick you’ve pulled.”

     

    The Zoroark’s expression quickly shifted from proud to anxious, nervously gulping as the fake Phobos from the beginning of the act disappeared.


     

    With the last of the acts presented Selene watched as Peony scanned his eyes down the list of names as he spoke with the other three pokemon; either checking the names off, or crossing them out. That is, until they eventually got to Phobos and Rags. A low, but audible groan came from the Sylveon as he handed the list off to the Noctowl sitting to his right. “Sir, why are you-” 

    “I feel that I can leave the last few to you four, as I have business elsewhere.”

     

    The four watched as Peony got up and walked towards the exit before resuming the review. “Miss Selene, that was your sister with the final duo, correct?” The Noctowl asked. 

    The Umbreon Glanced to the side, wanting to steer the conversation somewhere else. “So, what did you think of them?” 

     

    A Druddigon raised a claw to speak. “I think they showed promise. A little flashy for my taste, but they have my vote.” 

    “The introduction was a tad awkward though,” The Noctowl said as they held out a wing. The two then turned to the Gorgeist on their right; the large jack-o-lantern shaped pokemon seeming deep in thought. 

     

    She then turned her attention to the owl and blue dragon. “The last two group acts get my vote.”

    “But something does confuse me though…” The grass type continued, now looking at Selene. “Your sister was supposed to work here alongside you, correct?” 

     

    The Umbreon’s crimson eyes narrowed, noticing the Gorgeist’s somewhat snide tone. “Dawn, I’m starting to see what you meant now…” She thought.


     

    A bit later in the day along the streets of the Paradise Plaza, Phobos, Rags, and Dawn were sitting around a table outside a cafe that Dawn had admittedly taken a liking to. A tower of pokepuffs sat in the middle of the trio for them to share, but Phobos had already gone through more than half of them; idly bringing the small pastries to his mouth as he tried to untangle the mess of thoughts in his head.

     

    Rags and Dawn glanced at each other before the Mimkiyu slowly pulled the plate away. “You know we’re supposed to share these , right?” Dawn asked, snapping the Zoroark back to reality. 

    “Sorry… was just thinking about something.” 

     

    Rags calmly waved his claws, before snapping them and making a ‘finger gun’; pointing it at Phobos. “I’m not worried we blew it… I‘m worried we pissed off Peony,” The fox said as he put his claws over his face. 

    “I think I’m gonna be sick…”

     

    “Well try to calm down,” Dawn said before taking a sip of tea. 

    “Think that might just be the puffs…” Phobos groaned before slowly reaching for another one, only to have his clawed hand slapped away by Rags. Hard. 

    “Alright! Fine!” Phobos said as he rubbed the back of his hand. “Why’d you have to hit it so hard?!”

    Feeling a bit bad, Rags sauntered across the table and held out a pokepuff in his claws as a peace offering. However when Phobos reached out for it, the small ghost type quickly pulled it away, shoved it under his cloths and ate it. 

     

    Phobos stared at the Mimikyu before leaning back in his seat. “You suck, you know that?” He remarked, only for an amused Rags to quietly chuckle at his expense.

    Dawn shook her head with a small grin on her face as she continued to watch and sip her tea. “Please remind me why I hang out with you two again.”

     

    After a short while, Selene came running up towards them. “So this is where you were!” A startled Dawn nearly choked on her tea at the Umbreon’s sudden arrival. “Oh Arceus, I’m so sorry!” 

     

    Clearing her throat, Dawn finally spoke up. “You have way too much energy, you know that?” 

    “Ugh… Now you sound like mom.” The dark type groaned before hopping up on the empty seat next to Dawn.

     

    “Anyway…” Selene continued. “You guys are in!” The mood around the table lit up in excitement as Phobos and Dawn almost shot up from their seats. Rags meanwhile jumped all over the table, almost knocking over the pokepuffs. 

     

    “However-” Selene said, holding up a paw. She then turned her head towards Dawn. “Dad’s not really happy about the stunt you pulled.” 

    Dawn took a deep breath before closing her eyes, as her cup of tea began to rattle in her Psychic grasp. “I had already come back to Stonehaven… What more does he want?”

     

    Composing herself, the mauve cat then took another sip of her tea. “No… today is supposed to be a good day, and I am not going to let him ruin it.”


     

    Across the street, unbeknownst to the four Lionel and Ember were at a table eating lunch. The Meowscarada watched them out of the corner of his eye before stabbing at the pasta on his plate. “Friends with the owner’s daughters…” He grumbled. “So that’s why…” 

    “I don’t know, I thought their whole thing was pretty good,” Ember said before taking a bite of her sandwich. However this earned the Braixen a sharp glare from the grass type, causing her to sink down in her seat. 

     

    “But they d-don’t hold a candle to you, mister Lionel.”

     

    Feeling something was off, Rags tapped Phobos who was busy nursing a mild stomach ache. “What, something wrong?” The Zoroark groaned. 

    Rags gently turned to the side, repeatedly nudging the air with his false head. Phobos raised a brow and shifted his gaze to the side, trying not to make it too obvious. It was then that for a split second, Phobos and Lionel caught each other’s sight. The two pokemon narrowed their glares at one another before turning their attention back to their respective parties.

     

    Lionel placed his money on the table before getting up and walking away. “Ember. Come.” 

    “But I’m not done with my-” However to the yellow fox’s dismay, the Meowscarada kept walking. 

     

    Ember hastily glanced between Lionel and the sandwich. “Forgive me mister Lionel,” She said to herself before taking large, rapid bites, cramming as much as she could into her mouth before running after the grass type.


    The Zoroark rolled his eyes and leaned back into his seat. “Welcome back to Stonehaven, Phobos…”

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    1. Feb 17, '24 at 3:43 pm

      Heya, making a review here for the book club. I will just be going chapter by chapter and making some general comments if I have any:
      (Note: I tend to focus too much on the bad, please don’t take this criticism too much to heart)
      Chapter 1:
      I like the way the setting is introduced about this being set in the world of the Gates of Infinity. It’s very cleverly done with the letter as it introduces a lot of things while not seeming still too much information at once.

      ‘You’re doing that thing where you’re being vague. Now talk,’ Is what Phobos got from Rags’ glare, the ghost type’s beady eyes piercing into the Zoroark like a pair of spears.

      This is too vague of a sentence for me. It’s really hard to understand who is saying this or if it’s even supposed to be here. Is it supposed to be an internal thought? More clarity here would be appreciated.

      “You kinda wanna give it a chance now, don’t you?” Phobos asked.
      “Well now that I’m sure our father didn’t send her in an attempt to collect me… perhaps.” Phobos then turned his attention to Rags. “What about you?”

      I don’t really understand why is this in separate paragraphs. Like I get you want to put an action tag right after the second sentence he speaks, but the ending of the first paragraph makes me assume that a different character will speak soon after. Maybe this could be somehow changed? And this is not the only example, but just wanted to point this out.

      There is quite a significant time jump of two weeks somewhere in the middle of the chapter. You mostly tried to pass on from this as fast as I could, but I think there could have been at least a few things that have happened right? Like, I’m just not a fan of time jumps in general so I may be a little exaggerating with this. At least I can say that it didn’t feel like the characters were randomly put into an empty void right after that so you got that right.

      It was kind of funny to imagine at the performance that Phobos barely could come on stage and he immediately fell on his face.
      That said, I think the description of the play was pretty good. Maybe it would have been nice to have some level of detail for all of the other performances, but I understand that you wanted to skip to their performance as fast as possible. Phobos and Rags presuming that Peony was not happy with the performance is also an interesting detail here. I like how you hang on to this detail, which leads to some of the infighting at the café later.

      I like how you end this chapter. Establishing a rivalry with the protagonists very early on is a good thing and I’m curious where you will take this. I especially like how Lionel doesn’t care about Ember at all as if she is some kind of pet to him.

      But overall with this chapter’s story, I think it’s pretty good. You immediately establish that they have lost their jobs and have to come back to a place they don’t have fond memories of. I like how this is going so I’m definitely continuing on to the next chapter.

    2. Feb 15, '24 at 2:54 pm

      The Greatest Showmons – Chapter 1

      I recall these characters from Union’s first oneshot collection, and reading this now brought back my thoughts on it. If I had to describe how this fic reads to me, I’d say it’s like one of those slice-of-life cartoons you’d see on Cartoon Network or something (which is why this is one of the only times where I’d say the one curse used felt out of place). There’s no grand opening to the story, we’re basically right into the status quo with characters that already have an established relationship.

      It’s very casual. And fun in its own way. I like the dynamic between the three main characters. Rags is great in how creative you can get with him. I also really like the premise. A Zoroark magician isn’t anything groundbreaking, but considering how hokey and cartoonish the presentation can be it’s a nice backdrop to the friendship the three of them have.

      I do have some criticisms. Mainly with the prose and pacing. This fic has a strange mix of overexplaining basic actions and very brief scenes. The result is that I have to pay attention to everything that’s said closely because I could very easily miss something otherwise and get lost. The dialogue is sandwiched between explanations of characters opening a letter or other things like that. Stuff that could just as easily be shown by saying “Dawn opened the letter.”

      I get why it’s like that though. Keeping things too simple doesn’t feel right because readers might misinterpret what you were going for. But a good thing to remember is that the readers will have to fill in gaps no matter what you do. Eventually you have to lay off the extra descriptors and go with “he said.”

      All of that being said, it was a very easy read. A lot was covered, and you didn’t waste time. Very good.