April Fools 2024: Zigzagoon Propaganda
by poper466I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life “for the memes” or whatever, but this one takes the cake by far. Uh, hey guys, happy April Fools’ Day! This chapter is a joke, obviously, but it’s a joke within a joke. I’ll tell you what’s not a joke, though: the fact that I’m writing this on a 3DS! Yeah, that Reggie quote last time? That was foreshadowing this the whole time! I’m obviously gonna edit everything on PC, but just know that I’m so committed to the bit that I will write an entire chapter of this thing on a 3DS touch screen! I’ll probably include details about how I did it and proof at the end, so if you don’t believe me I’ll prove it to you! Anyway, onto the chapter!
February 4th 7:00 am
Team Echoes’ Base
Coast Continent
Joseph woke up in his room after his vacation in the Lava Continent. It was another bright sunny day in the Coast Continent. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, everything was peaceful.
Joseph yawned, “Good morning Ror– Oh r–right, she moved into Sammy’s room…”
Yumi yawned and jumped out of bed, “Good morning, Joseph!”
“‘Morning Yumi!”
“So, what are your plans for today?”
“Honestly, I was gonna ask Cinder if I could stay here so I could pick up gardening.”
“That sounds nice, let’s go ask her!”
Joseph and Yumi left the room and went looking for Cinder, they eventually found her outside the base chilling in the tree’s shade, “Oh, hey guys! What’s up?”
“Yumi and I wanted to take it slow today, I was thinking about starting a garden around here.” Joseph replied.
“Oh, that’s perfect! Lanturn gave us an extra day off since we saved Skarmory!”
“He did!? Sick! That means you can help me read the book that I bought!”
“And you can help me with some fashion advice!”
“Fashion advice!? But you’re not even wearing any clothes! None of us are! We’re Pokémon!”
“I know, but I was out on a walk and I found this cool mask!”, Cinder reached into her bag and Tiny handed her the mask. “So, how does it look?”
Joseph looked at the mask, it appeared to be a Zigzagoon mask which was weird like who was the target demographic here!? “It’s definitely interesting… I think it would look better if it were black and white instead of those brown colors, but hey it looks alright I guess…”
Suddenly Joseph noticed a Zigzagoon behind Cinder, “Ahem, hello, I’m here to claim what’s rightly mine.” The Zigzagoon said.
“GAH! When did you get here!?” Cinder squeaked.
“That’s not important, what is important is that you inferior life forms surrender this tree to the Zigzag empire!”
“PFFFT, as if we’d hand over OUR home to some weak little Zigzagoon and his made-up empire!” Joseph challenged.
“Fine then I’ll just have to take it by force!”
“Well, I’m warning you right now, if it’s a fight you want, then it’s a fight you’re gonna get!”
“Yeah, you’re messing with a bunch of sharks!” Cinder added.
The Zigzagoon replied by jumping at Joseph with a Headbutt, Joseph just kinda stepped out of the way, avoiding the entire attack effortlessly he followed up by grabbing the Zigzagoon with his Psychic Fangs and kicking him sending him flying comically.
“Well, that takes care of that.” Joseph said as he dusted off his paws.
Cinder was starting to get a little worried, “I don’t know, I’m starting to get a weird feeling, I mean first I had this weird dream about Zigzagoon, then I found this mask and now this, maybe we should ask around just to make sure nothing fishy’s going on!”
Joseph sighed, “I guess we can take a look… You should probably take that mask off though.”
“Okie dokie!”
Cinder went to take the mask off when suddenly a sinister aura emanated from underneath it, a few moments later it gave off a bright flash, once the light was gone, a Zigzagoon took Cinder’s place.
“Ok, I’m starting to get a little weirded out.” Joseph said.
“Cinder? Is that you?” Yumi asked.
“Yeah! It’s Still me! Is there something on my face? Well, anything other than the mask on my face?” Cinder asked.
“Look at your mirror!”
Cinder pulled out her mirror and dropped it in horror as she got a good look at herself “OH MY ARCEUS! I’M A ZIGZAGOON!”
“This is… Super weird…” Yumi said, “How does a mask transform someone!?”
Joseph tried to make sense of the situation, but all he could hear was, “You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?”
“Wait that’s it! Cinder, try taking the mask off again!”
“How!? The mask is my face now!” Cinder cried.
“Just trust me!”
Cinder grabbed the sides of her face and pulled it off, there was another flash of bright light and once the light cleared Cinder was back to normal, “Ok, what in the world just happened!?”
“No clue, but clearly we just found a mask that works just like the ones from that one Zelda game!”
“Maybe it has something to do with that Zigzagoon empire that that little guy mentioned.”
“Maybe we should get going then before they find a way to turn everyone into a Zigzagoon!”
But before the trio could roll out, Vulcan came outside, “What’s up guys? You enjoying the nice breeze?”
“You could say that.” Joseph ribbed.
“What do you mean by that?”
“We may have found a cult of Zigzagoon who may be trying to take over the world.”
Vulcan fell to the ground and started laughing hysterically, “Good one, Joseph!”, Joseph gave Vulcan an unamused look, “Wait you weren’t being serious, were you?”
“Cinder put the mask back on.”
Cinder sighed and put the mask back on, transforming back into a Zigzagoon, “Do you believe us now?”
“What the hell!? What happened to you!?”
“I found this mask while I was out on a walk this morning and when I put it on bam goodbye Cinder the Cyndaquil and hello Cinder the Zigzagoon.”
“Where is this cult you speak of? I would like to have a chat with them.”
“No clue, but we’re about to find out! Let’s go!”
February 4th 7:23 am
Zigzag Zone
Coast Continent
The group entered what used to be Sunset Square, now there were signs saying it was Zigzag Zone, the buildings and streets were coated with zigzag patterns, and various signs with various kinds of propaganda such as a sign that said “Linoone sux! Obstagoon sux too! We believe in Zigzagoon supremacy!” with a little stick figure Zigzagoon standing over what appeared to be 2 Linoone and an Obstagoon lying in a puddle of blood.
“I feel like I just walked into a middle school during the Flash era.” Joseph said, “I mean, just look at the blood on those stick figures!”
“Not to mention the word ‘sucks’ being spelled that way.” Cinder added.
“That’s supposed to be writing!?” Vulcan blurted.
“Wait! He’s right! That’s human writing!”
“How did they learn your script?”
“Halt! Any creature not being escorted by a fellow Zigzagoon is to be escorted to an enlightenment center!” A Zigzagoon guard shouted.
“Ugh… Cinder put the mask back on…” Joseph said.
“Fine…”
Cinder donned her Zigzagoon form once more, tricking the guard, “Ah, I see carry on your business then.”
“I can’t believe I have to be like this now… It feels so humiliating…”
“Well it’s better than getting taken to one of those weird enlightenment centers, Arceus only knows what those things are.” Vulcan said.
“If I had to guess, it’s probably where they transform other Pokémon into Zigzagoon, or just sacrifice them to some sort of Zigzag demon.” Joseph thought.
“Well if bearing the burden of being one of them keeps you guys safe then I’ll do it.” Cinder said, “Just don’t expect me to wear this stupid mask ever again.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Wait couldn’t I use my illusions to trick them?” Yumi asked.
“Don’t try it, you’ll just end up gettin’ captured.” An unfamiliar voice said.
The group turned around to see a Linoone behind them, “Excuse me, but who are you supposed to be?” Vulcan asked very rudely.
“The name’s Zib, but you can call me the spy.”
“Ok, so why are you the spy?” Cinder asked.
“Because initially, I came here with a different purpose in mind, but then I caught wind of a supposed Zigzagoon invasion, so I started gathering intel.”
“A different purpose? What was that purpose?” Yumi asked.
“Teaching duty, I was told there’d be a couple of humans in need of a reading class, and seeing as I’m the most intelligent of my trainer’s Pokémon who better do that than me am I right?”
“I guess…”
“Wait, so are you one of Christian’s Pokémon friends?” Cinder asked.
“Yup, we met in Hoenn, that was back when I looked like you do now.”
“Wait, so why can’t Yumi use her illusions to pretend to be a Zigzagoon?”
“Because these aren’t normal Zigzagoon, they’re much stupider, and that somehow lets them see right through illusions.”
“I’m not even gonna begin to question how that works.” Vulcan sighed.
“The less you question, the more sleep you’ll get tonight.”
“Ugh, I hate that logic.”
“And I hate how you greeted me, but clearly we’ve got bigger problems right now.”
“Ugh, fine, just lead the way, Mr. Brainiac.”
“Watch your tone, or my Hyper Beam will turn you to dust.”
Zib led the group toward the Kecleon shop which was just one of many stores that fell victim to this hostile takeover, now there was a smaller Zigzagoon with a flower on their head running the shop, “Welcome to my store, I have some pretty items for sale!”
“You wanna see something pretty?” Zib asked.
“Of course!”
The shopkeeper Zigzagoon expected to see a mirror, instead, she saw a Hyper Beam coming straight for her, the beam hit her dead on and left nothing but dust and a toasted flower, Zib then started to climb the building, once on top he reached down for the others, “C’mon, get up here, we got places to be and bases to raid!”
The group stood in shock for a few seconds before following Zib, “Why are we climbing the building?” Cinder asked.
“Because the best way to infiltrate their base is through the top, and to get there we’re gonna need to jump from rooftop to rooftop, in other words-”
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEAH! PARKOUR!” Joseph whooped.
“Yeah… What he said…”
The group jumped from rooftop to rooftop until eventually they made their way to the guild which had been overwhelmed by Zigzagoon at this point, “Ok, once I give the signal we jump to the guild’s roof ok?”
But before anyone could respond, Cinder’s stomach roared louder than ever, catching the attention of every Zigzagoon in the area, “Ehehehe… I guess even as a Zigzagoon my tummy still rumbles like a volcano…” Cinder sighed.
“GET THEM!” A Zigzagoon demanded.
The group went to jump to the next roof when they were blocked by a Zigzagoon wearing a lampshade on its head, it was also wielding a paper towel roll with a tennis ball poorly duct taped to it, “Not so fast peasants!”
“Outta the way, nerd!” Zib shouted as he fired a Hyper Beam at the moron.
The Zigzagoon shrugged off the attack like it was nothing, “FOOL! YOU DARE INSULT THE KING OF THE ZIGZAG EMPIRE!?”
The Zigzag King waved his scepter, creating a ring of zigzag lines around the team, “Uh, guys!? I don’t like this!” Cinder squeaked.
The zigzag lines started closing in on the group until everything went dark…
February 4th 10:00 am
Zigzag Pit
Coast Continent
Joseph woke up chained to the wall of a jail cell, he struggled a bit before realizing it was hopeless, “Hello!? Anyone!?” He called out desperately.
A few moments later, Yumi came phasing through the wall, “Huh, I guess they forgot to ghost-proof this place.”
“YUMI!”
“Joseph!”
Joseph went to hug Yumi, but he forgot he was still bound to the wall, “Crud, can you give me a hand?”
“I’ve got you! Just wait here while I get the keys!”
“Ok…” Joseph sighed.
As Yumi left, all she could think of was how depressing Joseph’s expression was.
Joseph took the time to observe his surroundings, he didn’t get much information as he was surrounded by metal bars and concrete, “I’ve really hit rock bottom huh… Chained to the wall by a bunch of Zigzagoon… Just when I finally thought I was getting kinda strong…”
But before Joseph could throw himself a pity party, Yumi returned with a key in her mouth, she spit the key out and started to wipe off her tongue, “BLEH! That key tasted horrible! How do Pokémon hold stuff in their mouths without vomiting!?”
“Why were you holding it in your mouth!?”
“I had to! It’s not like I can walk and hold something in my paws at the same time!”
“Fair point… Let’s just get out of here…”
Yumi unlocked the cuffs on Joseph’s chains and the two made their way out of the cell, they walked past a few cells before stopping as a loud clanging sound came from one of them, “ARGH! LET ME OUT OF HERE!” An imprisoned Tyranitar demanded, “I SWEAR I’LL RIP ALL OF YOU TO SHREDS!”, The Tyranitar bashed the bars violently to no avail… Yumi was terrified but also felt bad for the poor Tyranitar so she walked up to the cell and tried to open it with the key she had, the door unlocked, and as soon as it did, it flew open, “ALRIGHT WHOEVER PUT ME IN THERE IS GONNA DIE, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! RIGHT AFTER I KILL THE IDIOT WHO LET ME OUT!”
“Uh Oh…” Joseph muttered.
“DON’T HURT ME!” Yumi squealed.
The Tyranitar looked at Yumi and immediately gasped, “I’m so sorry, hon, I thought you were one of them.”
“So you’re not gonna hurt us?” Joseph asked cautiously.
“Heavens no child, I’m only after those monsters, they took my child from me and locked me in here!”
“Phew… I was afraid you were about to start ripping us apart indiscriminately.”
“What kind of mother would I be if I just started ripping kids apart!?”
“Well, technically I’m 18, so I’m not really a kid anymore.” Joseph and Yumi said in unison before looking at each other and giggling.
“Oh! I’m sorry! I saw that you two were unevolved, and I just assumed you were kids…”
“Not this again…” Joseph groaned, “I hate it when people see me as a kid…”
“Sorry… I know how it feels… I didn’t evolve until I was 26…”
“HEY!” A Zigzaguard shouted, “WE HAVE A BUNCHA RUNAWAYS!”
“Crap! There goes our cover! We gotta go!”
The trio ran for their lives until they came to a dead end, “Aaaaaand we’re doomed…” Joseph said as his expression died.
“Not quite!” Yumi shouted.
Yumi dove at the guard and phased through them, the guard’s head started to spin until it finally collapsed, a few moments later it got back up but when it opened its eyes they were a much lighter brown, “Phew… Here’s hoping that the guards can’t tell that I’m possessing their friend…”
“WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE GIRL!?” Tyranitar roared.
Yumi jumped back and squeaked as Tyranitar closed in on her, “WAIT!” Joseph shouted as he jumped in front of Yumi, “SHE’S A GHOST! SHE CAN POSSESS OTHERS!”
Tyranitar backed off, “Huh!? So you’re controlling that Zigzagoon!?”
“Y-yeah! I may not look or sound like myself, but it’s definitely me in here!”
Tyranitar sighed, “Thank goodness…”
Just then a swarm of guards cornered the trio, “I’ve got them here! I’m gonna transfer them to another cell!”
“What about the other one?” One of the guards asked.
“They just barely managed to slip past me, rest assured though, I’ll have them captured in a jiffy!”
“I’ll hold you to that.” The guard said with a nod, “ALL RIGHT, BACK TO WORK WITH YOU!”
The guards returned to their stations and went back to patrolling, “Phew… Thank Arceus that worked…” Yumi sighed.
Joseph and Tyranitar followed Yumi into a control room of some sort, there were a bunch of big red buttons and a computer screen on a desk, one of these buttons was labeled “Release all” because of course a prison run by Zigzagoon would have something stupid and cliché like that, Yumi pressed the button and a prompt appeared on the screen, “Would you REALLY like to do that? (The alarms will be raised, and you will be promptly fired)”
“Um, hell yeah! Prison break time!” Joseph shouted.
The on-screen prompt closed and the text “I like your attitude” popped up in its place, but then the alarm started blaring.
Ignoring the possibly sentient computer the trio ran out of the control room and into the main part of the prison, prisoners were running out of their cells left and right causing mass panic amongst the guards, eventually, the group joined back up with the others, “WHAT IS GOING ON!?” Cinder cried.
Vulcan rolled his good eye, “Someone must’ve set us all free now let’s get outta here before we get caught again!”
Yumi stopped possessing the guard and gave Joseph a fist bump, “Looks like this prison break was a success!”
February 4th 10:47 am
Zigzag Zone
Coast Continent
The group exited the prison and immediately noticed that the entire town had been taken over by the Zigzagoon, the streets were zigzagged, there was even more propaganda, and most notably the entire town sported a new Zigzagoon-inspired color scheme, “Oh, oh my… Look at this place! It’s been fully taken over!” Joseph blurted.
“This isn’t looking good…” Zib sighed, “Maybe I should call in some backup…”
“At this point, I’m not even sure if that helps!” Vulcan exclaimed, “I think we should just call in an extraction team and dip!”
Zib shook his head, “Pathetic… That’s such a weak mindset.”
“It’s not a weak mindset, it’s a smart one! We need to save as many lives as possible here!”
“Tch, yeah right, as if taking out their total dweeb king isn’t the best way to save everyone.”
“Dude I’m serious! That king guy might be a total dweeb, but he’s got power! Too much power! Just face it, we’re no match for him!”
Joseph listened to the two banter back and forth for a bit before taking a deep breath and uttering, “I’ll take on the king!”
“WHAT!?” The entire group blurted.
“You heard me, I’m gonna take the king on, and I’m gonna beat him into the ground!”
Zib laughed hysterically, “Kid, kid kid kid, you can’t just throw your life away like that, this world needs you!”
“Yeah it does, and the king’s threatening it, so I’m gonna bear the burden of taking him out!”
“DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR ME!? YOU CAN’T GO THROWING YOUR LIFE AWAY!”
“I heard you loud and clear, I’ve accepted the risks, but I’ve also accepted that I have to be the one to do this.”
Zib tried thinking of something to get Joseph to change his mind, but he struggled to come up with anything, he then sighed and looked Joseph dead in the eyes, “Promise me you won’t die.”
“I won’t just trust me.”
“I’ll go with you.” Yumi said, “I’m not gonna let you go alone.”
“I’m coming too!” Cinder added, “This sounds like a nice way to get the adrenaline pumping!”
Vulcan shook his head, “Oh no you’re not! I did NOT lose you for 20 years just to lose you again!”
“Please?”
“Absolutely not!”
“Aw… Fine… Go forth you two, save the world… Without me…”
“We’ll be back when we can, ok?” Joseph said.
“I’ll have food ready as soon as you are!” Vulcan exulted.
“I’ll hold you to that!”
Joseph and Yumi broke off from the main group before realizing, “Where are we even going?” Yumi asked.
Suddenly the sound of thunder caught their attention as a castle came into view, “I think we have our answer.”
February 4th 11:00 am
Zigzag Castle
Coast Continent
The two entered the castle and prepared to obliterate anything that appeared in their line of sight, but there weren’t any Zigzagoon around, “We know you’re here! Show Yourselves!” Joseph demanded.
But nobody came…
Joseph was just about to call out to the Zigzagoon again when suddenly the door shut behind them, this made Joseph a little uneasy, but he pushed forward anyway, that was until the king’s voice rang out through the castle’s halls, “You fools! You walked right into our trap! Just try to get to me, I’ll wait!”
Joseph was a little confused, “What do you mean you’ll wait?”
“I mean, good luck going through all 1000 floors to get to me!” The Zigzag King replied.
“1000 FLOORS!?” Joseph and Yumi blurted.
“Yup, 1000, I look forward to watching your hope die slowly EHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!”
The duo’s jaws dropped to the floor, “There’s no way we can climb up 1000 floors, there’s gotta be a better way!” Yumi asserted.
And as if on cue the pair heard a satisfying *ding* noise followed by the sound of an elevator opening its doors, Joseph looked around frantically before finding the elevator, he then dragged Yumi into the elevator, “Our prayers have been answered!”
The pair entered the elevator and selected floor 1000, the door then shut, and they started going up, the room was silent for a while until eventually, a Zigzagoon popped up behind the pair, however, something was off with this guy, “So what floor are you two heading to?”
“Eep!” Yumi cried.
“Oh, I’m not with them, they just roped me into this whole thing because I’m a Zigzagoon, the name’s Squiggles, by the way.”
“I don’t buy that for a moment!” Joseph asserted.
Squiggles just shrugged and shook his head, “I dunno what to tell you then my man, I’m just a Zigzagoon who likes hitting the beach every once in a while, world domination isn’t exactly on my agenda and I certainly ain’t pledging any allegiances, besides that king guy’s a huge dork.”
“I don’t think we need to worry about this guy.” Yumi said, “He’s giving me the same kinda vibe that Lanturn gives off.”
“Aw man, you know big blue!?”
“I-is that what you call Lanturn?”
“Yeah! That’s my man Big Blue!”
“O-oh well um, Joseph and I are friends with Lanturn, or at least we were until all this started, now I’m unsure if he’s alright…”
It was then that the gravity of the situation hit Squiggles like a truck, “DO YOU THINK THEY GOT HIM!?”
“I-I’m not sure… But if they did, then the only way to get him back is to defeat the king.”
“You know what, you’re right, I’ve been riding the waves of life too long, I think it’s time I jumped in and did something meaningful!”
“That’s the spirit!” Joseph exclaimed, “Let’s take our world back!”
Just as Joseph finished motivating the group the elevator door made a soft dinging noise and the door opened, the three exited the elevator and approached the king’s throne from the side catching him off guard, “Uh, oh, um, I wasn’t expecting you to take the elevator.”
“Why do you even have one then!?”
“Do you see this belly!?” The king asked as he pounded the fat on his stomach with a paw, “I’ve gotta maintain my royal figure somehow!”
“Would it kill you to lose a couple hundred pounds?”
“Oh I see how it is, you don’t understand how royalty works, you see since I have all the money and power I get the most food! And I love food!”
Joseph rolled his eyes, “Yeah, that much was obvious.”
The king was strongly offended by Joseph’s comments, “Fine then! Guards! Get them out of here!”
In the blink of an eye, the trio was surrounded, “Ah great… Just what we needed, a swarm of Zigzagoon protecting their overweight dorky king.”
“Ok, maybe you should tone down the fat shaming a little.” Yumi said, “I don’t think it’s doing us any favors.”
“Ugh fine… I’m not taking any of it back though, I mean he kinda did this to himself intentionally.”
“Hey, uh Joseph right? Maybe you should focus on taking these guys out!” Squiggles suggested, “Or not, it’s up to you.”
Joseph rolled his eyes before pouncing at one of the guards, from there the fight began, Yumi began shooting stars at all the Zigzagoon managing to finish off the one Joseph pounced at, she was then met with an Ice Beam to the face, Squiggles retaliated by firing a barrage of needles at the horde, a few more goons fell as a result of this attack, but a couple stood strong and retaliated with their own Pin Missiles.
Squiggles chuckled, ‘You fools, my father was a Lucario! Therefore, I’ve been given the gift of Extreme Speed!’
Squiggles used Extreme Speed to dodge the Pin Missiles, then he crashed into a bunch of them knocking them out in spectacular fashion, there were still a couple of stragglers left, but a quick Surf attack wiped them all out.
The king started clapping, “Bravo! That was spectacular!”
“You’re disgusting! You don’t even care about your minions!”
“I do, I just enjoy watching your futile attempts to resist us!”
“Well, you’re out of minions now! So come down here and fight us!”
“Actually, I still have one more ace up my sleeve.” The Zigzag King said.
The king pulled out the mask that Cinder was wearing before she got captured and threw it down toward the trio, the mask sat on the ground for a moment before being lifted by the shadow of a Cyndaquil, suddenly the mask transformed ITSELF into Cinder’s Zigzagoon form.
The vessel sat there lifeless for a moment as the king laughed, “Didn’t expect that, did you?” He taunted, “Well, I’ve got more where that came from!”, A few guards entered the room carrying Cinder, Vulcan, and Zib. The king shouted at the guards, and they threw the trio onto the ground before sprinting off at the speed of light, “NOW THIS IS WHERE THE FUN BEGINS!”
“Uh, hey guys, what did I miss?” Cinder asked as she got back to her feet.
“We met Squiggles here, and we beat up a bunch of goons there, I saved you like 15 minutes.” Joseph ribbed.
Cinder inspected her surroundings and noticed that the once-lifeless vessel was staring her down, “Woah! What’s with that one?”
“It’s you, but like the Zigzagoon version of you.”
“It is!? How does that even work!?”
“No idea, but there’s clearly something wrong with it.”
The empty shell of a body stared at Cinder some more until it finally decided to speak, “You… You have my soul… G̵̾͜ ̶̻̏I̷̹̊ ̵̛̥V̴͈͆ ̷̝̿É̶̘ ̶̺̆I̴̼̿ ̶̛͚T̵̏ͅ ̸̣̇B̶͎̽ ̵̼̀A̷̦͠ ̶̧͂C̷̝͂ ̴̻͒K̴̖̐!”
The husk jumped at Cinder and pinned her down, Vulcan tried to pull it off of her, but somehow it stayed on top of her. The husk started rummaging through Cinder’s bag until it found her mirror, it quickly grabbed the mirror and shattered it on the ground, as the glass shards hit the floor the life returned to the vessel’s eyes, “Ahhh… Much better…” The Zigzagoon said in a cutesy voice.
“Can you get off me now!?” Cinder burst.
The Zigzagoon giggled like a little girl and winked, “Sure thing sweetie!”
Cinder rolled her eyes under her eyelids, “Great… She’s a girly girl now… I’m not sure if that makes her more creepy or less…”
“Don’t you remember me Cinder honey?”
“Absolutely not, and if I did, I’d dedicate the rest of my life to forgetting about you!”
The Zigzagoon pressed her face up against Cinder’s “Well that’s not very nice, why would you say that to your other personality?”
Cinder pushed the creepy Zigzagoon away and started laughing maniacally, “HAHAHAHA! No no no, You’re NOT my other personality! I don’t even have another personality!”
“Um yes you do, or at least you did until I broke free from that mirror that was imprisoning me, now I’m free to become the pop star I’ve always wanted to be!”
“I’ve never dreamed of being a pop star!” Cinder protested.
Cinder’s ‘other personality’ giggled once more, “You really love to ignore my existence, don’t you.”
Joseph was getting sick of this interaction at this point, and by that I mean he hated Cinder’s ‘other personality’, “Could you two stop arguing so we can take out the king already?”
“Hey! Who said she was on your side?” The king asked.
Cinder’s ‘other personality’ winked and hit a cutesy pose, “I did silly, how am I supposed to become a pop star if the world’s being run by you big meanies?”
The king groaned, “Never mind, your attitude is making me sick, I’d rather you be with them instead of joining our beautiful empire!”
“Wow everyone hates the taste of bubblegum I see, hey wait a sec, bubblegum would be a great name for me!” The newly named Bubblegum chirped.
“Jeez, I hate how bubbly she is…” Yumi sighed, “I wish she was still an empty husk.”
“Let’s just get this over with.” The king groaned.
The king started the battle with a Belly Drum, maxing his attack stat, he then munched on a few Oran Berries to restore the health that he had lost, the team responded by hitting him with an onslaught of attacks bringing him back roughly to where he was before eating his berries, the king retaliated by charging at Joseph and crushing him with a Body Slam, knocking him out in one shot, “Crud, this guy’s tough!” Squiggles shouted.
“Eh, I think Joseph is just weak…” Vulcan scoffed, “I coulda taken that like a champ!”
“No, I don’t think you could have!” Cinder fretted, “Belly Drum is super dangerous!”
“Well, I’m a tough cookie! I don’t break easily!”
The Zigzag King got back to his feet and charged at Yumi, he tried another Body Slam, but he ended up just falling on his face as he phased through Yumi, meanwhile, Bubblegum snatched a Reviver Seed from Cinder’s bag and fed it to Joseph, “Come on Joseph! You’ve got this! You’re our man!” She cheered.
Joseph rolled his eyes as he got back to his feet, “Honestly I debated just curling up and going back to sleep, but then I realized you’d just keep pestering me…”
Bubblegum brought a paw to her cheek, “Hehehe, yeah.”
“Good grief…”
Cinder hit the Zigzag King with a Fire Blast, knocking him off balance, he was then bombarded by a Swift from Yumi, this gave Cinder an idea, “Hey Yumi! Let’s combine our attacks! Shoot your stars through my Fire Blast!”
“Um, ok! On three!”
“One!”
“Two!”
“THREE!” The pair shouted as they let their attacks loose.
Yumi’s Swift stars flew through Cinder’s Fire Blast creating a bunch of flaming stars, the stars flew at the king and exploded on impact, before long all the king could see were stars, “Oof…” He rasped as he fell to the ground.
“We did it!” Cinder cheered, “We saved the world!”
Joseph wasn’t buying it though, “There’s probably a Zigzag Queen or something stupid hanging around here.”
The king coughed before speaking up, “There is no queen, only me, but I do have a backup plan.”
Vulcan raised an eyebrow, “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
The king simply shook his head and laughed, that was until he suddenly shouted, “NOW!”
Just then a Zigzagoon rushed into the room and used Trick on Joseph swapping his Lava Charm for a lit bomb, “Uh-Oh!” Joseph blurted just before the bomb exploded.
Joseph fell to the floor as the life faded from his eyes, he got got by what can only be described as a Looney Tunes moment. Once the dust settled, he was left lying on the floor, dead from the bomb’s explosion, definitely one of the worst ways he could’ve gone out…
5:00 pm
I.D.P.K. Headquarters
Lucario was doing his routine check on Joseph’s vitals when he noticed that one of the lights on the machine was on, “Uh, hey Christian? What does this one light mean?”
“Hold on, let me see it.” Christian said as he entered the room, “Ah, that one, that’s quite unfortunate.”
“What does it mean?”
“Joseph died due to a Zigzagoon swapping his held item for an explosive.”
“You’re kidding right?”
“Nope… I’m being serious, he’s actually dead and that’s actually how he went out.”
“That’s so oddly specific! Like, how does that even happen!?”
“No idea, maybe there was some sort of invasion? Yeah… I’ve got nothin’…”
“So like, what do we do now?”
“Well, I guess that Yumi girl is gonna have to handle things, otherwise I think we’re doomed.”
“Well, should I start writing down the results of this experiment?”
February 4th 6:00 am
Team Echoes Base – Cinder’s Room
Coast Continent
Vulcan jolted awake from his dream and scratched his head, “What was with that dream?”
Cinder yawned and stretched as she woke up, “Good morning, Vulcan!”
“Good morning… Uh, do you remember that strange dream you told me about?”
“Yeah, did you have a similar one?”
“In a way… I had this incredibly weird dream last night.”
“What was it about?”
“Zigzagoon.”
“Excuse me!?”
“You heard me right, Zigzagoon.”
“That’s weird…”
“You also found this weird mask that turned you into a Zigzagoon.”
“WHAT!?”
“Yup, then it turned itself into a Zigzagoon, shattered your mirror, and became an annoying pop star.”
“Dude dreams are weird.”
Vulcan sighed as he walked over to the shelf where Cinder left her badge and the plush versions of her and her friends, “Agreed, dreams can be wack as hell sometimes.”
Cinder walked up beside Vulcan and started moving the plushies around a bit, “It’s best not to dwell on weird dreams too much, they’re just kinda weird and silly.”
Vulcan inspected the shelf more closely and noticed a little plush Zigzagoon sitting among the other plushies, “Hey Cinder? Didn’t you say these plushies were supposed to represent your friends?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Since when were you friends with a Zigzagoon?”
“Huh? I don’t have a Zigzagoon plushie!”
Vulcan picked up the Zigzagoon plush and showed it to Cinder, “Yeah you do, it’s right here!”
“Huh!? When did that get there!?”
“Y’know what, I’m not gonna question it, besides the little guy’s cute.” Vulcan said as he tossed the plushie back onto the shelf.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, I mean a free plushie is a free plushie at the end of the day, plus she is pretty cute.”
“Wait, she’s a girl!?”
“It’s a plushie Vulcan, it’s whatever you want it to be.”
Vulcan chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head, “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”
Cinder shook her head and chuckled, “Come on, let’s just go get some food already.”
The two walked toward the door and opened it, as Vulcan exited the room he looked back at the shelf, the Zigzagoon plush was looking right at him, Vulcan started to back out of the room when the plush winked at him, ‘Did I just see what I think I saw!?’ He thought.
“Hey, Vulcan? You coming?” Cinder called from halfway down the hall.
“Y-yeah!” Vulcan replied.
Vulcan shut the door and ran down the hall, forgetting entirely about what he had just seen.
Aaaaaand that’s all! Now I’ll be switching back to writing on PC! (I realized I said now twice a little too late so whoops now the clip of me sending that text here is slightly inaccurate yay…)
Aaaaaah, that’s much better, I hope you enjoyed this stupid chapter, as promised here’s proof that I actually did this all on a 3DS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pcr5otjVBYg
Join me next year when I write the entire April Fools chapter on an Oculus Quest 2 (assuming that thing has a web browser, which I think it does, and this thing lasts another year which it might Idk though, if it doesn’t, then I’ll just recycle the idea for my next fic, which I’ve already started brainstorming ideas for surprisingly)
All jokes aside, I had the idea to do this from the day I started writing PMD The Experiment, and I’m not exactly sure why, I mean it made for a funny chapter I guess, oh yeah and with the announcement that the 3DS and Wii U online servers are going down on the 8th of April it kinda made for a nice tribute to the systems, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the 3DS as it was one of the first consoles I had that I could 100% call my own, and it was one of the few I could play mostly whenever I wanted, (Whenever I wasn’t being unfairly grounded for 2 weeks straight) it’s crazy to think it’s been like what 13 years since then? anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you, Nintendo, for making the 3DS so special. I’ll always cherish the memories it gave me. (I will revoke my thanks if you send me a cease and desist though, lol)
Anyway that’s all for this time, I’m not gonna do a boss bio for the Zigzag King because I just don’t feel like it lol, and there weren’t any new reviews or comments (Unless my notifications broke again) so yeah, next time: We join Joseph and Yumi as they learn to read and garden or something. (I swear it won’t be super boring) See ya then!
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