INSTABILITY — SEGMENT 02

Chapter 26.2

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Instability

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The trip out of the clinic was a blur. The Rhydorn opening the door, noting the check-out time on the clipboard, the Slowking and Tyranataur going in to search the room,

 

They were both led back out, taken just before the door, the Garchomp telling them both that her room could be visited again within an hour, no sooner.

 

The Audino from before received the two from there, opening the door back to the waiting room.

 

All the while Vizon was silent…but smiling. Seeming perfectly happy.

 

But Avery was in a haze.

 

‘…Had Vizon lied to me? Had they both lied to me? Were they just trying to trick me?

 

I’d been trying to reach out, trying to find a middle ground. But even now…

 

Those words they had said. Did they mean a bit of it?’

 

In the haze of Avery’s thoughts the both of them, at last, stepped back out into the waiting area of the clinic, the open archway to the street on the far end of where you stood. The cold, fresh air of the outside banished the stench of medical salve that had so permeated the inside of the clinic. The Audino called up another guest and shooed the pair away.

 

Vizon pulled ahead, stretching, looking casual in his gait.

 

“I’m glad she’s doing ok…” He sighed, shaking his head. “She’s been a little loopy, it was even worse when I first visited her. Those sedatives must not let her think straight…”

 

He chuckled, leading Avery back out into the street. It was late morning, just before noon, the sun shining down the Arceali valley beautifully.

 

“Well…day’s still young. Where you going from here, buddy?” Vizon asked.

 

Buddy.

 

Just his buddy.

 

Only his buddy.

 

“I was going to go to the library,” Avery mumbled. “… To study.”

 

“Library? Study what?” Vizon asked curiously, leaning down to look at Avery. “I mean, I don’t have much else planned, I guess. Not until tonight. Maybe-“

 

“I was going to study languages,” Avery said, interrupting Vizon. “Arcean. Illaminian. Maybe Quayoffi. I want to know how to write, and…I wanna know what people are saying.”

 

“All of them…?” Vizon blew a raspberry, as though it were a joke. “Woof, sounds hard. I figure I’ll just stick to the one…is that really all you’re gunna spend you day off on??”

 

Avery shrugged.

 

“I’ve wanted to do training since Rocky Hills, but… I’m injured, so can’t do that.”

 

The Plusle looked up at Vizon, a little more sullenly than before they went into the hospital.

 

“You sound like you have something in mind.” Avery pointed out.

 

“Well, I dunno…a park or a play or…” Vizon furrowed his brow, looking at Avery.

 

Probably at the Plusle’s aura.

 

“What happened to you?” Vizon asked.

 

‘I don’t know, Vizon, what DID happen?’

 

Avery sighed a bit, that little flare of annoyance in his core extinguished.

 

‘This is all too big for me. This is all way too big for me. How can I hope to change anything?’

 

“It’s nothing.” Avery looked away from Vizon, back towards the square.

 

“Nothing…?”

 

The Riolu’s smile vanished…

 

“No no, hang on, wait wait, what happened to last night? You were telling me stuff then…why are you all sad again? Avery?”

 

‘So that’s what all that was for? So I’d just…Tell you stuff? Look where that got us.’

 

“…I wanted to take you and Niv to the sandwich shop.” Avery said, voice low. “But now we’re going to the bar with all the good guys instead.”

 

It was a microcosm of the issue. A synechdoche.

 

“Uhh…yeah?” Vizon said, looking almost genuinely confused. “What, like she can’t go to both?”

 

There was a small huff laced in his final word. Avery’s brow furrowed.

 

“…That’s not how it felt when you said it.”

 

“Yeah, well…”

 

Vizon huffed again, crossing his arms.

 

“Maybe I like the smoothie bar better.” The Riolu said, looking away. “But hey, whatever Lahnae says, I guess.”

 

“…Look, it’s…” Avery sighed. “It’s fine. It’s not even a big deal.”

 

“Guh, no!! I know you’ll go tell someone else!” Vizon pleaded, his face aggravated as he just…pressed and pressed but seemed like a brick wall. “I’m always so behind on stuff…!”

 

Avery turned to look at him, that annoyance flaring up again.

 

“Why do you want me to tell you, anyway…?”

 

“Because it’s ALWAYS ‘nothing’!! It’s ALWAYS ‘not important’!! Because my friend is upset, keeps GETTING upset then goes and tells someone ELSE what’s wrong! Then they talk to you, you talk to them, all in your little circle! I-!!!”

 

Vizon was huffing, puffing, fists clenched. He looked down at the ground. Avery shook his head, that aggravation slowly growing and twisting into something else.

 

“…I just…I thought last night,” Avery said, staring up at him. “I thought last night meant things would be different. I thought…I dunno.”

 

“Wh-? What do you mean by that..?” Vizon said, gritting his teeth. “I told you…I was just trying to explain how my brain works a little, like-!!”

 

Avery shook his head, lifting a pointing finger towards the clinic behind them.

 

“Oh, but in there it still felt like…like you don’t trust me. You don’t take me seriously. I said that Snivy and Starly didn’t trick us and I got shut down. I said we could go to the sandwich shop and I got shut down. And you still…you still apparently think that me going out for dinner with Kellixae was a bad idea…!”

 

Avery balled his fists up against his sides.

 

“What changed last night, Vizon? What did all those words you said even mean?”

 

Vizon looked hurt as he listened to Avery.

 

“Shooting you down?? I’m trying to guide you! I always have…I’ve tried to guide you about that Snivy and Starly, I’ve tried to guide you towards hanging out with your guild instead of strangers in the dangerous parts of town…it’s just like when I was first guiding you around the city…!”

 

Vizon waa quiet, looking sad, shaking.

 

“I didn’t change…” he said, low.

 

“…You didn’t,” Avery said, matching his tone. “…I don’t want to be scared of others. I don’t want to write others off as stupid or crazy, or an entire district as ‘bad guys’. “

 

Vizon’s eyes flared as Avery continued, the Plusle’s voice taking a sharper edge.

 

“…But it’s all just good guys and bad guys, isn’t it?” Avery looked up at him again. “Good guys do good stuff. Bad guys do bad stuff. Poke’mon who do good things are good guys, Poke’mon who do bad things are bad guys. And good guys can’t do bad stuff, and bad guys can’t do good stuff. Makes it all real simple, doesn’t it?”

 

Avery swung his arms out, an angry gesticulation as his voice raised louder and louder.

 

“Is Kipuuna a good guy or a bad guy? What about Kellixae? Heck, what about Rikzyod?” Desperation creeped into Avery’s voice. “I wish it was simple. I wish it was because then maybe I wouldn’t be so confused and scared all the time. But it ISN’T…! And you’re just…you’re so…stubborn-“

 

“But why do YOU overcomplicate everything??” Vizon fired back, voiced raised, almost begging. “Always misunderstanding good guys and MAKING EXCUSES for bad guys! What if we’re up against bank robbers? Thieves? Murders?!“

 

Vizon STOMPED forward!

 

 

“What about those NAM guys and their ‘bonfire night’ on your friend’s house that you love going on and on about?! Would you have let them go if they had some stupid SOBSTORY ready for you?! You want me to stop treating you like you’re naive?! Then why don’t YOU STOP ACTING LIKE IT?!”

 

Vizon’s shout echoed over the street. The Riolu’s face was beet red, a look of anger and sadness burning in his eyes. Avery took a step back, frowning.

 

‘…Does…he have a point? I know I have a weak heart. I know that I feel pity for Illaminian Poke’mon and Janus and Richard. I know that I’ve been rooting for the underdog.

 

But is that why…? Because they’re able to…appeal to my emotions? Saying ‘these people are dangerous’ isn’t particularly emotionally evocative – was that why I didn’t buy it when he said it?’

 

“I…I-I don’t…” Avery recoiled, as if he’d been struck. “T-they burned down a building, t-there’s no sob story that could…that could justify that-“

 

Even as he said it…he wasn’t sure. Avery wasn’t convincing himself.

 

‘Am I…am I that easy to sway?’

 

“I-I’m just…I’m just trying to understand…”

 

“And…I know you’re trying to understand and I’ve…I’ve been telling you…” Vizon puffed, looking sad…almost like he could cry. “Like…you know, maybe it hurts a little? For my buddy to doubt me all the time and take the word of criminals like…like that’s the part that gets me.”

 

Vizon took a long breath, rubbing his forehead.

 

“All I’ve ever heard from you about what they’ve said is…animosity, you know? They hate this and they hate that and they don’t like this, like…ok??” Vizon frowned, shrugging in frustration. “They’re still doing bad things. Robbing, thieving, going after dangerous artifacts. Have they said anything about what they’re actually doing?? I feel like my guild’s been upfront about what we’re doing and why. Meanwhile Janus and…Quayslaan now, I guess…all they do is plant doubts. That’s all they ever seem to do is plant doubts but offer nothing else!! And…somehow that’s better?? That’s more trustworthy??”

 

Vizon grit his teeth, a deep sadness in his eyes.

 

“I know what I think is right. I know who I’m up against. I know whose side I’m on and who I’ll fight for.” Vizon reaffirmed. “I have no doubts. I trust the people that care about me. I’m not going to let them down…I’m not going to let Nivanee down.”

 

Avery looked back at the hospital for a moment, just silently ruminating on that.

 

“…They…I just…I know things that the guild’s doing that aren’t good.” Avery said. “I know…I-I know overall that we’re doing good. We’re trying to make sure nobody gets all three pearls, and…honestly, I like our guild. I believe that at the end of the day we are doing good.”

 

Avery softly sighed. Vizon only crossed his arms, letting the Plusle continued.

 

“And like…they’re the Thieves’ Guild. I mean I’m sure they don’t call themselves that, but…I don’t think it was good that Janus and Snivy joined them. I don’t trust Xamao. I just…Janus didn’t leave the guild and say ‘I’m going to be a bad guy now’, y’know…? I’m just…I’m trying to understand why she thought going to them was good to her.

 

“I trust Kellixae because I’ve spent time with her. I’ve talked with her. She’s a good Poke’mon in a hard situation. I don’t trust every Illaminian, in the same way I don’t trust every Arcean. I can’t brush Arcea itself with a ‘good guy’ or ‘bad guy’ brush, so…it…it makes me scared, and frustrated, when I feel like you’re doing the same thing with Illaminamo.”

 

Avery turned back to Vizon, just…letting everything spill out, all these thoughts, these feelings, any justification, anything that might fix this. Anything that might make Vizon see and understand. Anything. Anything…

 

“Please…please understand, I don’t think of the Thieves’ Guild the same way I think of Illaminian Poke’mon. But…”

 

‘What am I saying? I feel like I’m just spewing words. Does any of this even make sense??’

 

“…I know…so precious little for sure, Vizon. I’m so confused about so many things. Whenever any of the guilds or the Conduicy come into anything I just…I don’t know.” Avery’s voice wavered. “…But I found out some things were facts. I truly believe in some things. Some precious few things. And one of them is that Kellixae is my friend. I don’t want to doubt you on these other things, and I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry that I’ve hurt you that way but…”

 

Avery grunted.

 

“Hearing that you still doubt me about going out that night…that you still think that it was a bad decision. I worked to make friends with her. To figure out what was going on with the district. And it feels like after all that, you still don’t believe me.”

 

Vizon snortred.

 

“You’re the one who keeps saying I think of things in terms of Arceans and Illaminians.” Vizon growled. “Putting words in my mouth…every time we talk about…”

 

Vizon stopped himself, furrowing his brow.

 

“Fine, you want me to just up and up say it?” Vizon huffed. “I think Illaminians are jerks. Rude, loud, destructive, invasive. If not all then a whole lot of them. Enough to drive my parents from their home in Arceliaze, enough to break windows and steal stuff across the city, enough to crowd and clog Souljraan. Do I think they’re all bad guys? No, I don’t. Individual people are good guys and bad guys, Avery. I don’t think all Illaminians are bad guys, I’ve never once, ever, not one time, ever said that. I’m just in no big hurry to go to their run-down broken up district and be uncomfortable and make friends with poke’mon I have nothing in common with. I’ll stick to the market district, thank you.”

 

Vizon huffed, fists clench.

 

“So there, that’s why I don’t believe you on that whole little escapade of yours. Yes, if anything happened you’d hold your own in a fight but like…why?” The Riolu held up a paw. “Rhetorical question, don’t actually answer.”

 

He was quiet again, looking off a ways.

 

“…I’m going to go…do…something, I don’t know. Raffle house. You have fun at your library, Avery.”

 

Avery was silent. Stunned. He only stood there, watching Vizon turn with a huff and quietly walk down the road, moving betwixt the Poke’mon that crossed the busy road.

 

Avery just…watched him go. He didn’t move. He could feel the tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.

 

‘I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you.’

 

Vizon vanished into the crowd.

 

Avery watched him go.

 

…And almost in a haze, the Plusle went, too.

 

But he didn’t want to study anymore.

 

“I’m not going to leave you. Not like Janus did.”

 

Slowly, he turned to face north. There, before him, those familiar mountains loomed at the top of the valley, their sibling peaks, topped with snow…beckoning him.

 

Thus Avery walked. Over stone roads and past ornate buildings. By shimmering fountains and small gardens. Past stands and shops and towering, proud statues.

 

At a crossroads nearby he had to stop, a crowd blocking the street to let a wedding procession pass, a large group of Poke’mon carrying the couple, wrapped tight together in cloth, upon their shoulders. Confetti and petals fluttered around Avery as they passed, the crowd at last breaking apart, many poke’mon following the procession.

 

As Avery went on the buildings grew smaller, less ornate. The smooth stone turned to cobble, a few squarish buildings here, with chimneys billowing smoke, an ashen smell in the air. Many rough Poke’mon loitered in the area, eating sandwiches by stone walls just as the cobblestone turned to a dirt path.

 

 

The farming district again. A small stretch of it, hidden away in the shade of the windscorch mountains. The air here was chilly, covered in shadow as it was. Trees loomed all around, the path taking Avery up into the village district, up the steep hills of the Arceali valley.

 

The ground felt cold. Tufts of grass sprouted from the path as it snaked up the hill, passing by only one handfull of buildings and villas, propped upon tall wood supports to keep the houses level against the steep slope. More and more towering pine trees and fir trees surrounded him, the smell of the nettles strong here.

 

This part of Arceliaze, this path up to Windscorch mountain…was so quiet. Peaceful. Had he even noticed his first time coming up here?

 

The nettles of the trees swayed and swished in a gentle breeze, the Poke’mon out here few and silent.

 

It was quiet that made for good reflection.

 

…But Avery didn’t want to reflect.

 

He didn’t want to think.

 

He didn’t want to…be anyone.

 

Avery didn’t know how long he was going to be up here. But for now…he wanted to disappear.

 

He didn’t think about Arceliaze. Or Team Azure. Or Illaminamo, or the Thieves Guild, or the Conduicy.

 

‘Deep breaths. Deep breaths.’

 

‘Right now…I am nobody.’

 

…

 

Avery felt the quiet crunch of dirt under his paws. He felt the cold air bite at his throat with each inhale he took, ascending the mountain. He looked up to see the sky, the trees, the clouds. Smell nature.

 

‘Be nobody. Forget who I am.

 

Be nobody.’

 

The trees swayed silently. Windscorch mountain silently stood above, barely visible through the canopy. An old wood bridge crossed over a quiet stream sloshing over cold stones, the water perfectly clear as it came down from the mountain.

 

Avery was alone, no doubt. This north path up to the mountain was so narrow and unkempt, so rarely traveled. Preciously little stood up north of Arceliaze.

 

How perfect.

 

Nothing to take in but the trees. Finally, some peace and quiet. No other Poke’mon…simply nothing.

 

The sun hung high above, the shadows deep in the noon lighting.

 

‘…I can’t really not be myself. I know that. But being someone somewhere else is nice.

 

No Vizon. No Arceans and Illaminians fighting.

 

Just…peace and quiet.

 

Nature.’

 

Avery sat down in the scraggly grass, breathing the mountainous air deeply.

 

‘What if…I didn’t come back? What if I just stayed up here? Became a hermit, or something? Abandoned the guild?’

 

…Avery quickly dismissed the thought. Not because it was a morally bad thing to do. But because…he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about any of that to begin with.

 

He was just…supposed to be here. Now.

 

‘Deep breaths.’

 

He looked back towards Arceliaze from the start of the mountain.

 

‘The very first mission that Vizon and I had ever gone on. Our one and only mission where it was just me and h-‘

 

‘No. Stop it. No thinking. Stop it.’

 

Here at the base of the mountain, even as the trees thinned, it was hard to see anything of Arceliaze. He was barely be able to see over the treeline that he had just been walking through, seeing as it continued on and down into the valley.

 

But the city itself? Invisible from here.

 

Yet…on the far side of the valley, way, way away, almost hard to see over the treeline, betwixt the tall firs that stood at either side of him…being a thin veil of blue haze…were flat fields, dotted with some trees here and there.

 

Breezy Plains, there in the distance.

 

 

To think…there it was. A whole city between here and there.

 

It all seemed so…

 

Small…

 

…And yet it found itself so huge. Felt so huge.

 

‘Compared to Dove Fo Uddjo, it’s miniscule, and yet…’

 

Avery sighed.

 

‘Maybe I should do thinking here. Just a bit of it. Nothing too intensive. But if I take too much of a break here without doing anything then this will have been a waste of time.’

 

The Plusle leaned back. He let his thoughts come to him…slowly.

 

‘I’m going to have to go on more missions with Vizon. Probably tomorrow. I have to resolve this…in some way. Otherwise we won’t be able to work together. He wants me to be open. But he also thinks I’m being stupid. And maybe I am, on both sides. Maybe I should be less trusting.

 

…Maybe I should talk less. Just…not voice my opinion with him. Or Janus. Or anyone, really.’

 

A large cloud hung in the east, another in the west. The land was briefly covered in shadow as a cloud blocked the sun above.

 

The wind gave another chilled breeze.

 

For as peaceful as it was…as calming and without stress as it was…it was also…lonely here. A view like this…should it be shared with someone? Or would they just stomp the flowers? Break the old bridge? Shatter the blissful silence?

 

Always at a divide.

 

Always someone trying to impose upon these quiet places. To drag that baggage of the city in.

 

But was this all he wanted? Just peace and quiet?

 

‘What do I want? I thought it would be peace and quiet. But…maybe not. I like it up here, sure. But at the same time…I’m hearing my own thoughts too much. I don’t want that.

 

…I want friends. But I have those, don’t I?

 

…why is it so hard for me to think of who my friends are? Why doesn’t it immediately go to Vizon? Jolvia? Nivanee? Heck, even Kellixae?

 

What do I want in friends anyway…? Maybe…maybe just…someone I can talk to. Normally. Where I don’t have to worry about anything. Where I can just be…I could just be around them.

 

…do I even have friends like that? There are people around the guild like that. But…are we friends? Are we close?

 

…Vizon probably could have been that. But because I just had to keep digging, over and over, pushing my nose into places it wasn’t supposed to go…I’ve turned him into what he is now.’

 

There was clarity here. In the crisp mountain air, far away from the city.

 

A stronger breeze came, the trees bending and creaking slightly against the gust of cold air from the west. The air began to smell vaguely wet, a larger cloud moving from the west.

 

Everything was okay for now. If it was rain, maybe it would go away. Maybe that looming downpour would miss Avery entirely. It was a ways off, fairly south. Didn’t even look that grey or big. Maybe it wasn’t a raincloud at all.

 

But it still loomed, even if distantly. His nose could smell the wetness on the puffs of air.

 

Avery sighed. A few more deep breaths, staring down at the plains, at the city, at everything…

 

‘I’ll have to get back. I have a favour to Jolvia to fulfill. Another visit to Janus, in jail. No doubt for some sort of purpose she isn’t telling me. So many machinations…

 

Maybe I can get a little bit of reading in. Get…some book. Maybe Illaminian, maybe not. I don’t really care. Just…something to occupy my time. Maybe even something to talk about with people that wasn’t just problems, problems, problems. A classic book. Something that everyone’s read at some point.

 

I dunno…

 

…Then I’ll find Jolvia, and then I’ll go to the bar, and pray to…

 

…to someone that it won’t be awkward.

 

…

 

This place is nice though. Maybe I’ll come back here later.’

 

For now…Avery went back down the trail, to the city.

 

Out from the peaceful world of the Arcean wilderness, back into the city. Back to all its twisting mysteries and contradictions and half-truths.

 

Back to all of its warmth and friends and love and hope.

Chapter 26.2

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Instability

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