CHAPTER 28: HUMAN

Pernautica Mass-Transportative Space Station, Interdimensional Portal Room

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Lena started. “You can’t just drop that kind of a bombshell on us! What do you mean you were still an pachirisu on the other side?”

“Oh, Lena, I mean exactly what I say,” Terry explained, shaking his head dismissively. “I am a pachirisu on this side of the portal, right? But normally, in my own world, I am actually a human.”

“Yeah?”

“What I expected to happen is that something would have happened between dimensions that would have changed my physical being from this form to that of my human self.”

“Makes sense,” Robert said. “So… that didn’t end up happening?”

“Bingo,” Terry said. “When I went through, I felt like I was way too short. Fortunately, I do have a mirror in the laboratory where my portal is- don’t ask, even I don’t remember why I put it there- so I quickly learned that it was because I hadn’t been changed back… but I had no idea why.”

“So… I’m inclined to assume that you want to seek out my help in the matter?” Robert shuffled in place. “I’m afraid I have no experience with humans who were turned into pokemon. It’s normally such a rare occurrence, usually only brought on by legendaries or very rarely by workplace accidents.”

Terry’s ears drooped. “I see…”

Robert held up a finger in indication. “But, we can see if the DNA test you took has any insight on why you were turned.” Just then, his holophone vibrated. He pulled it out and looked at the notification he had gotten. “Oh, would you look at that. The results are ready! Though, the way they worded it is somewhat concerning… I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal though. They do want us to come up there in person though…”

Terry and Kori glared at him at that.

“Oh… right… well, you know what I mean,” Robert said. “We’ll be back! Leave the portal on standby!”

As they all left the portal room, the portal itself was put into low power mode. The hum of the machine gradually faded as the glowing blue wormhole faded away.

---

Back at the DNA lab, the technician was pacing, both because they were impatiently waiting for Robert and his escorts to show up and out of nervousness. They had some bad news to share with them and was scared about how the others would react to it. Behind them, the door to the lab opened, which caused the technician to flip out a bit, nearly dropping their pokemon-to-human translator as they turned it on.

“Eep,” they squeaked, then said, “don’t sneak up on me like that, Robert!”

Robert ignored their pleas. “Emerson, you said you have the results for the DNA tests?”

Emerson cleared their throat. “Yeah, but… I don’t think you’re gonna like what you’re about to hear…”

The pilot shoved his arms out impatiently. “Well, what are you waiting for? Spill it already!”

The way Robert raised his voice startled the brown-haired person in a labcoat. “Eep! Okay, okay… well, the thing about the humans-turned-pokemon who claim to be from another universe… um, they, uh… don’t have any traces of human DNA in their bodies.”

Ryan’s eyes, and those of his parents, went wide at this revelation.

“WHAT!?” Terry bellowed from the glaceon’s back, making the latter wince. “How?“

“I-I don’t know,” Emerson stammered. “Even more puzzling is that Martin, Kori and Lena all do have human DNA in their bodies.”

Ryan, who knew exactly why that might be the case, shuffled his paws nervously, which did not escape Terry’s notice.

“Ryan, is everything alright?” he asked.

“Oh, um, yeah, everything’s fine!”

“You sure don’t sound like everything’s fine. Come on, what’s wrong?”

Ryan sighed, knowing he couldn’t, and probably shouldn’t, keep his dreams a secret for any longer. He turned to Emerson. “Do you happen to have a lie detector? I want to make sure that they know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m telling the truth.”

“Sure do,” Emerson replied, pulling out a gray box from an above cabinet. After putting the armlet around his paw, Ryan began to explain how Mew had been coming into his dreams and talking with him, and how she had performed a soul transfer on him and his family members to save their lives. This was also how he had found out about the laboratory. He left out the part about his dream form, but in any case, the lie detector did not go off even once during his entire explanation.

“…so, to make a long story short, I think the reason that Terry and I don’t have human DNA is because we were turned into pokemon by a different method than Martin or Lena or Kori: them through a physical transformation and us through a soul transfer,” Ryan concluded. A check mark appeared on the screen of the lie detector, verifying his story to be true.

“…I don’t believe this,” Terry said. “Though, I don’t mean your story- the lie detector clears any doubt in my mind- but that you didn’t tell us before.”

“Yeah,” Ben added. “You can trust us.”

The glaceon sighed as he slipped the armlet off. “Yeah, but… I had no way of verifying it to be true before… for all I know, it was a delusion on my part.” He shook his head. “But never mind that. Emerson, would you possibly have a solution for us?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I do,” they said. “There’s this machine that can turn a pokemon into a human.”

“Whoa, really?” Ben said.

“That’s great to hear!” Terry added.

“But there’s more,” Emerson continued. “In order for the pokemon to actually be transformed, there needs to be another being with human DNA in the other chamber. The catch is that the one with human DNA will no longer have any trace of it left in them after the process is complete.”

“Makes sense,” Lena said. “Well, I plan to stay down on Earth anyways, so I’ll volunteer to be the one in the second chamber.”

“Please let me finish,” Emerson said. “Yes, what I say is true, but… the machine is currently out of commission.”

“Oh, come on!” Terry shouted.

“Stop interrupting me! As I was saying, we do have an older model we can use, but that one requires three humans instead of just one in the second chamber, due to using a less efficient method. It is quite a bit easier to operate though, so we have that going for us, at least.”

“Oh…” Lena said. “Well, I’m still going to do it.”

Martin sighed. “I mean, being a zoroark isn’t that bad… especially since I can still at least look human… so I suppose I’ll do it as well… intern, are you in?

Kori shuffled nervously. “Eh… I don’t know if this is such a good idea… why can’t we just wait until the other one gets fixed? Who knows what kinds of glitches exist in the older one that aren’t in the newer one? Plus… I don’t really want to be permanently stuck as a shinx…”

“Come on… please?” Terry asked, trying to get sympathy points from her.

Kori rolled her eyes. “I barely even know you; I’ve got no real reason to help you get home.”

“But… you don’t really have a reason not to help me…”

“I think the possibility of never being a human again is more than enough of a reason for me.”

“Is there a particular reason for…”

Kori sighed. “If you really want to know why I want to be human again, I’ll tell you.” She took a deep breath. “It’s because I’m nervous that my parents won’t accept me as a pokemon. The worst part is that I don’t even know for sure.”

Terry paused. “Oh… that’s it? I thought you were about to go on some long explanation and backstory or something. Well, if you want closure… you have a phone; call them right now! Nothing stopping you.”

“Erm, I don’t think that’s such a good-“

“Too late,” the pachirisu said, as Martin had already set up a video call on his phone with them.

“Hello, commander,” the lavender haired man on the other side began. “What brings you to call the Berkeley household today?”

“Eh… your daughter wants to see you,” Martin said, propping his phone up on the floor so that the shinx was visible in frame.

“No I don’t,” she said, although the man couldn’t understand her. The man in question looked irritated.

“Is this some kind of joke?” he snapped. “My daughter is a person, not some weirdly colored shinx!”

In the background, Ben scoffed at the implication that he, and the other pokemon he knew, weren’t people.

“Oh yeah,” Martin added from offscreen, “I almost forgot to mention that you’re going to want to turn on your pokemon-to-human translator.”

He didn’t know why the commander requested this, but he wasn’t keen on the idea of arguing with a high-ranking IEF official and his daughter’s boss, either, so he complied.

Now, the shinx sighed. “Yes, dad, it’s me… I was turned into a shinx.”

Mr. Berkeley’s heart sank, and his jaw dropped. He knew that voice, yet at the same time, he refused to believe it was really her. Even so, he called out for his wife, who hurried over to look.

“But… how? How could this happen?” she asked after he told her about this. “Was it that blasted Commander Harlingen who did this to you?”

After denying the accusation, the commander explained what had actually happened, slightly twisting the story to make it seem like he had not been effected, as he still believed his own transformation important to keep a secret. Mrs. Berkly sighed.

“Well, I guess there isn’t much we can do, then… erm, it’s not that we don’t still love you, we do, but I don’t think… there’s really anything for you to come back home for anymore. Even if we can understand you, it’ll still be hard to treat you as a human, or to accept that you aren’t one, or that you will never be one again unless you find someone else willing to be a pokemon instead… plus, you’re an adult now anyways.”

A tearful Kori nodded disappointedly. “I… I understand.” She sniffled, brushing the tears from her eyes. “I- I just- I’ll miss you so much.”

“So will we, Kori,” Mr. Berkeley said morosely. “So will we.”

The shinx sighed miserably when the call ended. “I guess at least now I have a definitive answer…” she said. “You know what? Fine, I’ll do it. Just don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

With that, Emerson made a single clap. “Alright alright!” they said. “That takes care of that! Now, follow me, you four…” They motioned the quartet into a doorway in the back of the lab while the other pokemon, and Robert, stayed behind.

The room in question was far more dimly lit than the lab itself, the only light coming from the computer monitors that only displayed their lock screens. The main attraction, however, was the pair of chambers in the middle; they seemed to have an exterior that was a bit rusty. There was another, similar pair of chambers in the back of the room, but both of those held signs that read ‘out of order’.

“Well, we’re here,” Emerson said. “Let me just get the machine started up real quick…”

After some keystrokes at the computer next to the machine in question, the machine played a startup chime. Unfortunately, the volume on it was so loud that the quartet of pokemon had to cover their ears for it to be bearable. Then, the inside of each chamber lit up as each of the two doors slid open. The second was, of course, quite a bit larger since it needed to be able to fit three people- or in this case, pokemon- on the inside of it.

“Well… I guess this is it,” Lena said. “Once you’re human again, you probably won’t be able to understand us anymore… pokemon-to-human translators are not cheap, so unless you’re willing to shell out the big bucks for one you’ll just hear pokemon noises when we speak…”

Martin spoke up. “You know I can just get one for him, right?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” the sneasel responded, “but… I wonder how it works for you when you’re in your illusion. Can you speak like a regular human? I don’t hear a difference so I have no idea; maybe Terry can tell me when all of this is over.” She shook her head. “Sorry for talking both of you guys’ ears off… let’s do this thing.”

Terry simply nodded in agreement.

“So… are you all ready to go through with this?” the technician asked.

“Yes, I believe we all are,” Martin said as he dropped his illusion and stepped into the chamber, Lena and Kori following along. Terry went into the other chamber as well, having to physically climb into it due to the threshold being about six inches up.

With that, Emerson pressed another button, causing the two doors to close slowly and dramatically. At the press of another button, the right chamber started to rumble slightly. Exactly what was happening inside of the chamber could not be seen, as the door was opaque, and there were no windows peeking into it, either. Before too much time had passed, the rumbling had stopped, a dinging noise sounded as if something had just finished cooking in a microwave oven, and the right door, where the pokemon besides Terry had had to go, slid back open again. Martin, Kori, and Lena all came out of the chamber, seemingly unchanged compared to before, with Martin switching back to his human illusion.

Then, the rumbling resumed, this time in the other chamber that had Terry inside. Emerson had their fingers crossed, hoping that there wouldn’t be any complications. They really didn’t want to have to deal with any of that today. Soon enough, that rumbling stopped as well. After the door opened, out stepped Terry, once again human, and, luckily, fully clothed in the outfit he had on before he ended up in this world in the first place.

“Hold on a minute,” he said, “how do I have this outfit when before I was only wearing this bandana and goggles?” He held up the now-ill-fitting headgear. “Not that I’m complaining; it’s certainly preferable to ending up in my birthday suit.”

“Oh, that’s simple,” Emerson explained, “the machine sifts through your memories- don’t worry, it doesn’t save anything or share them with me- to see what you were wearing when you were initially transformed and create identical copies of each article of clothing as it turns you back into a human.”

“Mmm,” Terry said, stroking his chin. “I would be disturbed by the invasion of privacy, but I think I can make an exception this one time since it’s slightly preferable to public nudity. That said, I’m definitely going to have to come back to this universe at some point… wait, I already promised Ryan I would… never mind.”

Emerson smiled. “Okay… now tell me, how do you feel? Like, are you in any pain or anything like that?”

“Only if not being used to being this tall anymore counts, otherwise not really.”

“Then you’re good to go!”

Lena was the first to leave the room. “Way ahead of you!” she said as she headed out the door to where the others were waiting.

“So, how did it go?” Ryan asked when Lena drew closer to him.

Before Lena could answer, Emerson came out the door. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Behind the technician emerged an older man with silvery-white hair who sported a labcoat and jeans. Ryan just grinned, knowing that his uncle was no longer able to understand him.

---

After a conversationless walk back to the portal room, it was now time for Terry to leave, this time for real. The portal was then reactivated as Terry gave a handshake to each of the pokemon.

“…and Robert… thank you for helping me to get back to my Earth,” he said, engaging in a firm handshake with him.

“It’s no problem, really,” Robert replied as Terry walked forward toward the portal. He stopped right at the threshold to it before turning back.

“You know, when we started out, I believed that, when I were to head back, that Ryan would be coming with me… he was the one who originally wanted to head back the most, you know.” He chuckled a bit, looking straight at the glaceon in question. “Funny how things change.”

Ryan tried to say something, but Terry just heard glaceon noises.

“He agrees with your sentiment,” Martin called out, and Ryan nodded in response. “Next time you come here, hit me up and I’ll get you a pokemon-to-human translator.”

“Sure thing,” Terry replied.

“One more thing, Terry,” the commander added, “if you ever want anything from this side of the portal, including potential work, just swing by and ask for Commander Harlingen. I’ll personally see to what it is you want if I’m not busy.”

“Okay, sorry to rush you, but you seriously should to go through now,” Robert interjected. “The portal may not use as much energy when there’s a gateway on the other side, but it’s still not exactly the most energy efficient device out there, either. I’d like to not have it active any longer than we need to.”

“No, I get it, I get it… my energy bill spiked just from plugging in the portal back home. These things are total energy sinks.” Not knowing what else to say, Terry just said goodbye and headed through the portal, being absorbed into the blue, pulsating puncture of space-time before it was deactivated.

Martin made a single clap. “Well, all that’s settled…” he said. “Now we need to get you all-“

Just then, the commander’s holophone went off. He checked it and his eyes went wide.

“Wait, she responded already?”

Robert shrugged. “Might just be a slow day today. But what did the commander-in-chief say anyway?”

Martin directly read off the message. “Martin, I would like to speak with you about the document that you sent my way. I have a few extremely important questions to ask you.”

Kori’s face blanched as Martin grimaced. Did he type out something he shouldn’t have without thinking? Or, worse, could someone else have spilled their secret? Or, it’s not that but there’s something else problematic entirely!

Oh, what am I going to do? the commander worried.