Chapter 6: Dynaforced Into a Corner

Noctum wished Vortex wasn’t dragging him to some sort of urgent meeting. He would love to have spent more time admiring Horizon Academy’s central courtyard. So many colorful flowers he’d never seen before in the dreary crags of Drasbraznav. A bed of roses sat on his right, alternating between columns of white, lavender, and pink. To his left were tulips interspersed with… some sort of pink flower with a yellow center.

“Um, Mr. Chancellor, what kind of flower is that?” He pointed a black finger to his right.

“Begonia.” Vortex’s gaze stayed fixed in front of him, yet he added, “And try to wipe that childish grin off your face. You’re meeting with nobility. It’s unbecoming of a charizard to fawn over flowers.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Noctum’s tail flame dimmed. It wasn’t like Vortex could understand. The other charizard hadn’t spent his life tucked away behind volcanos. “It won’t happen again, sir.”

“Of course it won’t.” Vortex tucked his free hand into his coat pocket. The other clutched his golden cane. “Because you’ll only speak when spoken to. I’ll handle everything else.”

“Err, shouldn’t we at least introduce ourselves?” Baraz tapped his tiny claws together. “If this ‘Commander Seifer’ person is going to guard the princess, it might help if we got to know one an—”

Vortex stuck his cane into Baraz’s path. The dracozolt stopped short and lightning crackled down his upper half. “Speak only when spoken to,” Vortex repeated. He brought his cane back to his side. With a deep breath, he regained his cheerful expression and continued forward.

His attitude struck Noctum as a stark contrast to yesterday, where he’d been upbeat even in the face of the King and Queen’s scrutiny. Then again, Noctum did recall getting a few icy looks from Vortex yesterday. Did the other charizard have some sort of beef with him? Noctum couldn’t fathom why. It wasn’t like Vortex could be jealous of his looks or anything. Murky, black scales didn’t make Noctum a piece of eye candy. Regardless, he’d have to pay closer attention to Vortex and see if he was on to something.

The trio approached the circular, stone-laden center of the courtyard. Noctum struggled to keep his expression neutral while studying the central fountain. It was made with some fancy azure stone he’d never seen. Evenly-spaced, white crystal stripes ran along the sides of the fountain. Atop it sat a glass sculpture of the kingdom’s heroic monarch and the school’s founder: Queen Zacian Calliope. At least, that was what Noctum saw on the plaque at the base of the fountain. But it matched what he’d heard from Calcifer and Yiazmat. A dog with tassel-like strands of fur and armor jutting out of its head and shoulders. It gripped a sword with a glistening ruby in its hilt.

Though Noctum could scarcely understand why any pokémon would need an actual weapon. Weren’t their own attacks sufficient?

“They’re late,” Vortex announced, pulling out a gold pocket watch from his gray suit’s breast pocket.

“Well, you said they’re nobility, right? Maybe they’re coming from something important?” Baraz offered a sympathetic smile.

“I opted to skip the Crowne Cup’s brand-new preliminary round for this,” Vortex explained. “The least they could do is not waste my time. Though, knowing Demerzel, he’s doing this on purpose.”

Baraz tilted his head. “Demerzel?”

“One of Queen Isola’s advisors, I think,” Noctum said. The name had come up in the past, but he couldn’t remember what the Aeon royals thought of him.

As if the conversation had summoned someone, a beam of light shot down from the sky behind Vortex. It expanded into a ball, then disappeared. Noctum recognized one of the pokémon; he’d seen pictures of the equine with the large blue horn. In the stories of Bahamut, he had several trusted allies he bestowed with some of his light. And this Siefer fellow looked just like one of them.

The other pokémon, however, was one that he’d never laid eyes on. Floating behind Seifer, he adjusted the black and purple beads around his neck.

“You’re late, Demerzel.” Vortex glared at the newcomers.

“Apologies, Vortex.” Demerzel crossed his suspiciously-long legs and pressed a paw to the enormous bulb atop his head. “I was having some trouble getting my teleportation to work properly.”

“You forgot the ‘Chancellor.'” Vortex planted his cane between two cobblestones and leaned against it. Noctum didn’t need to be psychic to see there was bad blood between these two, but it wasn’t his place to pry.

“My goodness.” Baraz’s wagging tail thumped against the ground. “I had heard that Queen Isola employed descendants of Bahamut’s Luminary Sages… but to think I’d actually get to see one with my own two eyes.” Of course, Noctum knew Baraz’s beady little eyes could only sparkle so much. The dracozolt waddled up to Seifer. “I’m Dracozolt Baraz. It’s an honor to meet you.”

He stuck out a tiny hand. Seifer looked at it like he was being handed a filthy dish rag. “Bahamut? Sages? What are you blathering about?” Seifer said, an eyebrow raised.

“They’re Aeons, Commander.” Demerzel brought his nubby hands together. “They believe Etherium was created by a giant light dragon they call Bahamut.”

“Oh. Right.” Seifer rolled his eyes. “You would do best to keep that Bahamut drivel to a minimum. Here in the Kingdom of Radiance, we believe in hard science. Etherium didn’t just pop into existence because some dragon willed it to be.”

“Err, r-right. Terribly sorry.” Baraz stepped back. Some of the luster in his feathers died down. Noctum offered him a consolatory smile. He wanted to stand up for his partner, but it was more important that he keep the Radiant nobility happy. The treaty was too important to put in jeopardy, even if Seifer was questioning their beliefs.

Noctum thought it best to change the subject. “Forgive me, Mr. Demerzel, but I’ve never seen a pokémon like you before. What species are you?”

“A whimsicott,” Demerzel replied. Before Noctum could object, the beads around his neck glowed. “Yes, I realize that I do not look anything like one. When I was young, I got sucked into a mystery dungeon. Though the Radiant Guard rescued me, the distortion mutated my body. Hence my appearance.”

“And your, errm, psychic powers?” Noctum rubbed his horns. His head had gone fuzzy right before Demerzel predicted his question. A telltale sign of a psychic.

“Yes. So, I suppose it wasn’t all bad.” Demerzel shrugged.

“That’s all well and good, but can we get on with this?” Vortex had his watch out again. “We’re burning daylight.”

“It’s always business with you, Chancellor.” Demerzel sighed. “Pleasantries are important, you know.” He nudged his neck-beads. “For someone who claims to be big on diplomacy, I figured you would understand.”

“Not to worry, Counsellor.” Seifer waved him off with a forehoof. “I have no intention of making nice with a couple of haggard dragons.” He paused. “Or, rather, a dragon and a would-be dragon.”

Noctum ignored the jab, knowing it was meant for him. However, it was Vortex’s tail that flared up. Noctum silently looked down at his feet. He figured a descendant of Saint Keldeo would display the same caring, protective attitude his ancestor was known for, but he was clearly wrong. Still, he’d have to put up with it. It was for the good of his home, after all.

“You should at least let this charizard introduce himself.” Demerzel pointed to Noctum. His eyes glistened with pink energy. “It would be quite unbecoming for the Radiant Guard’s junior commander to be so impolite as to not even refer to someone under his protection by name.”

Like with Vortex earlier, Demerzel’s words drew a flash from Seifer’s horn. He quickly composed himself as he turned to Noctum. “Of course. Go on.”

It took a moment for Noctum to catch on that that was his cue. “Noctum, sir. At your service.” He adjusted his utility belt.

Seifer looked him over. The charizard tightened his grip. Was his outfit— or, rather, his lack of outfit being scrutinized? It wasn’t like he had anything to wear. Noctum wanted to end the awkward silence, but was surprised when Seifer beat him to the punch. “So, you are attendants of Princess Yuna. How long have you worked for the royal family?”

“Fifty years,” Baraz replied. “Queen Yiazmat wasn’t even an egg yet.”

Seifer quirked a brow, but said nothing. He looked expectantly at Noctum, who stood up straight and sucked in his gut. “Fifteen years, sir. I was found by King Calcifer when I was a Charmander and—”

Seifer raised a forehoof. “Not interested in the life story. Both of you could stand to be more succinct with your responses.”

While Vortex nodded his approval, Demerzel tilted his head toward his right shoulder. “Good grief.” He offered a smile. “Well, I would be happy to hear more about the two of you… perhaps over lunch or dinner?”

Noctum stiffened. Queen Isola’s advisor wanted to dine… with him? His first instinct was that this was some sort of prank, but Demerzel’s smile seemed genuine. Noctum’s next thought was this was a trap. That one wrong move meant blowing up the whole treaty. He couldn’t put that weight onto his shoulders.

Fortunately, he had a convenient excuse ready. “E-Err— I appreciate the offer, sir. But part of our responsibilities here includes helping with mealtime preparation.”

“Oh my. Vortex is certainly keeping you busy.” Demerzel chuckled into his paw. “Perhaps that’s why you’ve less of a belly than the good Chancellor. You might be the leanest charizard I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Vortex snorted. “Are we done here, Counsellor?”

Sighing once more, Demerzel bobbed his bulbous head. “I suppose if our dragon friends can’t come to me, I could drop by and join them for a spot of afternoon tea.” He smiled at the servants. “How does that sound?”

“I’m not much of a tea drinker myself, but I’d be happy to make you some, sir,” Baraz chirped.

Noctum still had a bad feeling about this. Perhaps it was just paranoia over how most of the Radiant citizens had treated him so far. Yes, that had to be it. After all, refusing such a generous offer would reflect poorly on Princess Yuna.

“Yeah, I’d be delighted, as well,” he finally said.

“Splendid.” Demerzel’s black, triangular cape fluttered as he spun around. “I’ll send a telegram to set up the date.”

Noctum stared back blankly. “Tell-o-what?”

Seifer stepped in front of Demerzel before he could answer. “That’ll do, Counsellor. I’d rather not stand here bored to tears while you try to explain this to them.” He nudged Demerzel with his horn. Noctum wanted to object — he really had no clue what a tell-o-gram was — but decided against it. He figured Seifer might loosen up once Demerzel and Vortex were gone.

“Okay, I get the message.” Demerzel hovered up toward the top of the fountain and looked at Noctum. “We’ll be in touch, my dragon friend. Until then… may your days be ever bountiful!”

He grabbed the edges of his cape and curtsied to the group. Then, with a blinding flash from his neck-beads, he vanished before their eyes.

“Well then.” Vortex clapped his hands together. “As much fun as this little get-together has been, I have a Crowne Cup to attend to. I’ll leave you three to discuss any remaining formalities.” He spread his wings and took to the skies before anyone could utter a word in edgewise. Noctum watched him fly over the western face of the Academy’s square-shaped main building. His shoulders sagged and he exhaled loudly.

“Don’t slouch over like that. It’s unbecoming.”

Something spiky jabbed Noctum in the shoulder blades. He abruptly stiffened and clutched at his back. He knew it was Seifer before even turning around. “S-Sorry, sir.” Noctum cleared his throat. “Um, listen, those other two are gone now, so you don’t have to be so, um, serious?” His words grew less confident the longer Seifer looked at him.

“I want to make something clear to you,” Seifer said. “I’m not here by choice. If I had it my way, I’d be out dealing with all of these strange dungeons that just so happened to spawn right around the time you all showed up in this kingdom.” He flicked his head to the right. His orange mane swished behind him.

Noctum quickly thought back to the conversation in Vortex’s office the other day. So, Seifer had been investigating the newly-spawned dungeons. Had he found something out? Whatever the case, Noctum imagined he’d never get the keldeo to volunteer any additional information.

Maybe Saint Keldeo wasn’t quite as selfless as the scriptures make him out to be.

“So, here’s the plan,” Seifer continued. “When Yuna needs to leave the campus, I will go along as her escort. I expect at least one of you to accompany me. Understood?”

“Yessir.” Baraz’s arm was too tiny to salute. “I was part of the army before serving the royal family, so—”

“I’d prefer it if you stayed behind.” Seifer stuck his nose up. “No offense, but aside from your old age, you’re… an odd sight, to put it mildly. You’ll attract unwanted attention.”

And a black-scaled charizard wouldn’t do that? Noctum wondered.

“Best case scenario is Yuna gets eliminated from the Crowne Cup early and then you won’t need me around,” Seifer added.

“Wait, what?” Noctum thought the Crowne Cup was a yearlong endeavor for all the students. No one mentioned anything about eliminations. Did Yuna know about this? Did her teammates? Why hadn’t anyone said anything to him? Sure, he had a tendency to worry, but that was because he wanted what was best for Yuna.

He was about to ask for details, but purple light suddenly washed across the courtyard. Instinct prompted him to turn and look up. Any exclamations got caught in his throat the moment he found the source: a literal tear in the open space above the fountain’s statue. No, that wasn’t quite right. It was as if someone had levitated one of the Academy’s circular windows above the fountain, then shattered it. Though there was no glass to speak of.

“What in blazes—” Seifer hopped in front of Noctum. “Demerzel, if this is your idea of a joke, it’s not in the slightest bit funny!”

“I take it that isn’t a normal sight around here?” Baraz’s feathers crackled with lightning.

“Of course not!” Seifer huffed. “You… Charizard. Go fly off and tell Vortex to get his tail back here this second.”

Noctum didn’t think it wise to leave Seifer and Baraz alone, but this guy was a military leader. He turned and took to the air, only to slam face-first into some sort of forcefield. At least, that was what he gathered from the ripples of purple light that spread out in a dome toward the sky tear. “Uh, Mr. Seifer, I think I’m stuck.”

“Stuck? How can you be stuck?” Seifer’s gaze remained fixed on the hole. “Quit messing around and—”

The fountain rumbled. Noctum turned back to the tear and heard… a yawn? Well, it started as a yawn. But it gradually grew in pitch and intensity until it was more like… some sort of yawn-roar. Like a grumpy kommo-o having its nap disturbed.

It was then Noctum realized something green had shown up in the sky tear. Instinct took hold and he dove toward Seifer. The keldeo protested as Noctum swooped back up. However, those protests disappeared when whet the sky tear spat out a snorlax bigger than the fountain. In fact, the snoralx crushed the fountain entirely under its girth.

Squawking in surprise, Baraz turned around. He whipped his tail back and forth, trying to dispel the dust and water vapor.

From his unwanted vantage point, Seifer whispered, “Mother of Calliope.”

“That’s… not a normal snorlax,” Noctum added. Aside from its size, it had a godforsaken tree sticking out of its gut. Which lead to his follow-up question: “Do you think it’s dead?”

The response came not from Seifer, but Snorlax itself. Another yawn-roar that filled the air with a noxious stench Noctum couldn’t put into words. He nearly dropped Seifer when instinct told him to plug up his nostrils. Instead, his face paled and he held his breath.

“No. Now put me down so I can knock it out with my Secret Sword.”

Wait, Seifer had a sword, too? What was it with these Radiants and fighting with weapons instead of proper attacks? Well, Noctum supposed that wasn’t immediately important. He slowly descended when he saw Snorlax raise its right arm and slam it down on the ground. A fissure snaked forward, sending dust, grass, and cobblestone flying. Yelping, Noctum flapped his wings.

“Wait! I said down!” Seifer barked, but then he spotted the moving fissure and tensed. “On second thought… higher!”

Noctum wouldn’t argue with that. There was one issue, however. “Ah, but what about Baraz!” He looked down to find the dracozolt slumping down, having run into the same forcefield as Noctum. “Baraz, get up!” he cried.

Seconds before the fissure would’ve plowed into Baraz, a dark blue blur carried him away. Noctum followed the blur until it slowed up and revealed… a garchomp? A cursory glance suggested it wasn’t one of Dimitri’s assistants. Yet, much like all the Aeons Noctum knew, Garchomp had only a single accessory: a black scarf wrapped around her left shoulder. And there was no notched fin, either.

“Charizard, pay attention!” Seifer snapped, prodding Noctum’s belly with his horn. Yowling, Noctum dropped Seifer. Water shot out of the keldeo’s hooves. He hovered beside Noctum, who wondered why he hadn’t just done that at the start. “Did you see that?”

“The garchomp? Yeah. Is she one of yours?”

“What? The Radiant Guard would never employ a garchomp.” Seifer rolled his eyes. “I’m talking about that attack. That was a Dynaquake!”

It took Noctum a second, but the realization quickly set in. “Th-then that snorlax—”

“Is using Dynaforce,” Seifer said, eyes narrowed. Noctum raised a brow. Is that what they called the distortion’s power in the Kingdom of Radiance? What a stupid name. “Distract it for me so I can get a good hit in.”

“Rodger.” Noctum flew into Snorlax’s line of sight. “Uh, hey! Your breath stinks! Ever hear of mouthwash?”

Snorlax responded with another yawn-roar. Noctum threw his hands over his snout. I guess not.

“Watch your six, Charizard!”

The voice was unfamiliar. Noctum looked over his shoulder, then quickly dropped out of the air as a purple Dragon Pulse bolt raced by him. It was Garchomp. Purple wisps evaporated around the corners of her mouth. Beside her, Baraz shook off his dumbstruck state and zigzagged toward Snorlax’s gut.

“Focus. A hit like that won’t faze it,” Garchomp growled. She took off running in the opposite direction.

“Y-Yeah.” Noctum turned around to find purple splotches popping up along Snorlax’s body. Had it been poisoned? How? He looked up at Seifer, but the keldeo was gathering energy in the brim of his horn. Which meant it had to have been Garchomp, yet she used Dragon Pulse. Though Noctum thought the purple color was a bit… off compared to what he was used to.

The crackling of electricity snapped him back to attention. Baraz skidded back from Snorlax’s belly, staring down an imprint undoubtedly left from a Bolt Beak. Snorlax showed no signs of any pain, however. Nor did it seem to care that Noctum was standing right in front of it. The charizard made his presence known with a white-hot gust of fire. He aimed it at the tree roots digging themselves into Snorlax’s gut.

Sure enough, they caught on fire. That, combined with an orange, sword-shaped beam from Seifer and another off-purple Dragon Pulse from Garchomp finally got a reaction. Another yawn-roar. Considerably more painful, if Noctum had to guess. The poisonous splotches also turned a darker purple. Now Noctum was sure Garchomp was behind it. The only question was how she was doing it.

There was no time to think it over. Snorlax raised both its hands. Noctum took off, thinking it wanted to flatten him. Snorlax caught him off guard by grabbing hold of its gut-tree — God, that was still disturbing to think about — and furiously shaking it. Noctum quelled his nerves and spat another Flamethrower, only to choke on his own flames when the fire splashed up harmlessly against… a giant berry?

No, there were several giant berries. All as big as he was! They dropped to the ground and, next thing Noctum knew, he was sucked into a tidal wave of berry juice. It was caustic. An invisible force trying to tear his scales off his flesh. He wanted to scream, but he risked drowning in berry juice.

At some point, he hit the ground tail-first. A shock ran up to his neck. Noctum wasn’t sure which way was up and which way was down. All he knew was that he was sticky, drenched, and couldn’t feel his tail. Though his vision was blurry, a stream of smoke and embers signaled his tail flame had burnt out. No wonder everything hurt so bad. His attempts to cry for help died out in his throat.

Just when he thought he’d black out, rough scales brushed his belly. Baraz? No, the colors didn’t match. Garchomp, then?

The end of his tail warmed. The smoke turned back into a flame. Small, but better than nothing. The blurry vision faded, revealing the back of Garchomp’s head. Pink berry juice stained her scales and dribbled down into a puddle by her feet.

“Still alive?”

Well, that was hardly a nice way of asking if he was doing okay. But Noctum would take it. “Yeah. Just feel like I got walloped by a Rock Slide, ‘s’all.”

Garchomp kneeled down and slid Noctum off her back. “Your buddy’s doing something weird.”

Huh? Though his back protested, Noctum sat up. He saw Seifer standing in a daze, disheveled mane plastered over his face and the white stripes of his uniform stained with berry juice. But what was more concerning was Snorlax. It was reaching for its belly-tree again. And all the poisonous splotches had vanished along with the scrapes and scuffs the group’s attacks had inflicted.

Baraz dashed toward Snorlax’s head. An otherworldly, rainbow shimmer spread from his feathery crest down to his stubby tail. Noctum recognized it. Heck, he’d back Baraz up with the same thing if he wasn’t so exhausted. Instead, he sat there while Baraz planted his feet firmly in the damaged ground.

Right when Snorlax gripped the branches of its tree, Baraz opened his beak. A high-pitched squawk rang out. “Khh!” Garchomp threw her arms against the sides of her head and stepped back from Noctum, swearing. Likewise, Seifer whinnied in surprise and reared up on his hind legs.

They had it easier than Snorlax, though. It tilted its head in Baraz’s direction, only for its slitted eyes to shoot open. Red sclera greeted the group for a few seconds, before Snorlax yawn-roared. Its head fell back against the ground with a thud. The tree in its belly dissolved away in streams of brown, green, and purple.

Snorlax slowly shrank back down to a more reasonable size. Torn bits of white cloth drifted through the air. Baraz slouched over, wheezing through his beak.

“What just happened?” Seifer asked, trying to shake his mane dry to little avail. “Did you just stop that thing? How?”

“That,” Baraz straightened himself up, “is the technique… we Aeons have used… to keep the distortion… under control.” He took a few deep breaths. “Cosmic Blessing. That’s what it’s called.”

Seifer’s only response was stunned silence. Noctum looked down at his utility belt. Wet, but still intact. Her Majesty warned us against using Cosmic Blessing here. But what was Baraz to do? Noctum was still reeling over the whole giant berry thing. Nothing he’d read about Dynaforce lined up with that attack. Did that mean Snorlax had been turned into a Phantom?

“Oi, Charizard. Look at this.”

A blade-tipped arm jutted out in front of him. It was Garchomp’s. Her blade skewered a piece of white cloth that had the school’s rose logo sewn into it. Noctum took the cloth and inspected it. He glanced up at Snorlax, then down at the cloth, then back up. “Wait a tic…”

Noctum gasped. He tried to stand up, but fatigue got the better of him. Garchomp managed to catch him before he fell on his rump. “Don’t be stupid. You don’t have the energy for that,” she growled. “What’s got you so worked up?”

“That snorlax… I think I remember seeing him during the banquet.” Noctum held the cloth up. “He’s the school’s head chef!”

“I think you’re right,” Baraz called. He was standing beside Snorlax, sweeping up pieces of cloth with his tail. “The guy wore some kind of white button-down jacket. These scraps remind me of it.”

“But the school has one of Polaris’ barriers around it,” Garchomp said. She clearly wasn’t happy. “It sure seemed like Snorlax was hopped up on distortion. How did it get to him through the barriers?”

“Ridiculous.” Seifer had finally found his voice, though his hair was still covering his eyes. “There isn’t any distortion anywhere near here. There has to be another explanation.”

“Or maybe these barriers are faulty.” Garchomp shrugged.

Seifer had a retort repaired, but cut it short when a pair of bulky grimmsnarl in lavender guard uniforms came rushing out. “Good heavens!” one shouted. “What happened here?”

“A Phantom attack.” Garchomp smacked her tail against a stone shard jutting out behind her. “Now, don’t stand there gawking. Get someone in charge over here.”

“You’re back quite soon. That is not a good sign.”

Despair was right after all. Fraud’s plan undoubtedly ended in failure. Yet there he was, swinging his icicle cane around his wrist and whistling jauntily as he tippity-tapped along a fallen stone column.

“Indeed. It would seem our opposition drew an unexpected wild card.” Fraud adjusted his mask.

Another one? Despair groaned. A shadowy hand gripped the arm of his makeshift throne. He tapped his fingers against shards of rock. “Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“It wasn’t a complete loss.” Fraud tipped the bridge of his cap down. “I was able to make off with a small side pot.” He gestured behind him toward the wall of black and gray distortion. A life-sized playing card with a plague mask appeared. It spun around, then spat out a nickit and a greedent.

“Oomph! Hey, easy on the merchandise,” Nickit grumbled, trying to dust off his tail with his stubby legs. He looked over at Fraud. “What’s the big idea, grabbing onto us without any warning?”

“I found these two hoodlums trying to sneak out of the school,” Fraud explained. “It seemed they were already in trouble and thought they could use my Phantom Glutton’s scene to make their escape.”

“What do you mean?” Nickit puffed out his cheeks. “I wasn’t using no scene. The great Nickit Carpaccio can escape from anything!”

“Uh, boss?”

“Not now, Rookie. I’m interrogatifying here.”

“But boss.” Rookie tugged at Carpaccio’s tail and pointed to Despair. “We’re not alone.”

“Yeah, I can see tha— aah aaah aaah!” The moment Carpaccio laid eyes on Despair he jumped in fright and tried to bury himself in Rookie’s fat tail.

If Depsair had eyes, he would’ve rolled them. He settled for slamming his spectral fist against a rock. “Why did you bring me a couple of clowns? Does it look like I’m running a carnival here?”

That got Carpaccio’s attention. He poked his head up from behind Rookie. “H-Hey! The Crimson Zephyr ain’t no clown. He’s a master thief!”

“And an airhead, clearly,” Despair scoffed. “After all, it takes a special type of ignoramus to refer to themselves in the third person.”

“Hang on, slow down. Ignoramus ain’t no real word,” Carpaccio huffed.

“Uh, boss, I think he’s calling you a dumb-dumb.”

“I thought they’d make for a nice pair of expendable pawns,” Fraud interjected, shuffling a deck of icy cards in his hands. “Lackeys I can take with me so you don’t have to worry about stretching your precious energy too thin.”

“Lackey?!” Carpaccio’s face was practically bright red. “Listen here, Snooty-Shoes McGee, I ain’t nobody’s lackey.”

Already tired of this conversation, Despair summoned another spectral hand and slammed it in front of Carpaccio and Rookie. “You seem to misunderstand, little boy. You’re not in a position to negotiate.”

Carpaccio looked at the giant hand and gulped. “W-Well, I certainly ain’t about to work for free. A guy’s gotta eat, y’know. What are you paying?”

Of course that was all this runt could think about. Such was the way this pathetic kingdom worked. The nobles were blessed with everything they could want and then some. The rest of the populace were left fighting over scraps of what was left over.

Despair levitated up from his seat. “Your ‘payment’… will be getting to thank the cosmos each and every night that I allowed you to live another day.” He drew on his fragile energy to cast a menacing red aura about him. “If you refuse, I’ll simply kill you both now and take what little energy you have as my own.”

Carpaccio’s fur puffed out in fright.

“Now then, what say you, child?“

“O-Okay,” Carpaccio squeaked. “Please don’t eat me.”

Satisfied, Despair drifted back. “Do with them as you please, Fraud. Just don’t drag them here again.”

Fraud dispelled his cards with a wave of his right hand. He bowed. “Understood.”