Chapter 33: Ship Happens

Taking hold of Space and Time, the Matriarch pried open the gates of tomorrow. She forged the Benefactor to offer us eternal evolution. Infinite choices.

For one does not reach infinity without dividing by Zero.

~Il Libro dell’Eternità

“It’s working! I’m a freaking genius!“

Arianna paused with her right hand hovering in front of a black security keypad. Even with a bevy of machines whirring on other parts of the ship, Tesla’s shouts still grated on her.

She shook her head. The gardevoir didn’t have time to think about that. And as much as she liked to rain on the smarmy boltund’s parade, this was one such instance where she’d rather be enjoying a nice cognac.

But no. Everything had to go to hell in a handbasket.

Arianna slammed the entry code: 0-0-0-0-0-1. Because heaven forbid Tesla follow her recommendations and change the code to something less narcissistic.

The gray door slid open. Arianna shuffled onto the ship’s bridge, where Tesla was shimmying back and forth behind a gray computer console, making excited fake robot noises as he went. The giant window offered a perfect view of two massive gray pipes dumping gray fluid into the purple-tinted sea. A computer screen on the console’s right side displayed real time readings of the toxin levels in the water. And the values were going down.

“Well, well. If it isn’t the only person in the kingdom to outdo the genius Minister Dr. Tesla in number of titles.” Tesla stopped his dancing and stiffly pivoted to face Arianna. A mechanical arm popped out of his backpack and pointed to the window. “Come to admire my latest beautiful creation, Warden Vice Chancellor Dr. Arian—”

“Zip it.” Arianna held up her right hand. “We have a situation.”

“I know. And, as you can see, I’m taking—”

Arianna balled her left hand into a fist. “The Diva Project is compromised.”

Tesla’s mechanical arm went limp, dropping to the ground with a metallic thud. “Impossible.”

“She’s not singing a waltz like instructed.” Arianna nudged up her glasses. “Instead, she’s spewing anarchistic blather. And it’s whipping the crowd into a violent frenzy.”

“Then shut it down.” Tesla’s arm retreated into his backpack. “You built the override sys—”

“Someone’s locked me out.” She calmly approached the boltund. “Drop the anti-psionic field. We’re leaving. Now.“

Tesla looked out the bridge window. “But I’m—”

Arianna quirked a brow. “Going to ignore a direct order from the chancellor?”

The ship violently lurched forward. Arianna steadied herself quickly but Tesla smacked into the console. His electronic goggles sparked and flickered.

“Disable the field!” Arianna hissed. Out the window, ripples spread across the water. A pair of wartortle deckhands were pointing at one another and shouting.

Two electronic arms popped out of Tesla’s backpack and typed furiously at the keyboard. “But what about the crew?”

The ship lurched once again. The monitors littering the bridge abruptly shut off. Arianna pressed her glasses firmly against her face to hide her expression.

“Forget them. We have bigger things to worry about.”

The bridge’s lights went out. Emergency lights bathed the room in a red glow. Arianna floated over to Tesla and wrapped her arm around his foreleg. Her face scrunched in concentration, only relaxing when white light surrounded her and the cold grays of the ship’s bridge vanished all around her.

Had Yuna first arrived in the thick haze and tarry pits of Outpost R3X a few weeks ago, it would have whipped her up into a panic. Instead, she was quick to summon Rayquaza, who conjured a tailwind that not only broke through the smog but made flying toward the flashes of battle in the distance fast and straightforward. Aside from bubbling black pools below her, there were sagging, green-yellow trees and scattered patches of land with dead grass, clumps of dirt, and mud puddles.

Eventually, at least a dozen skeletons came into view. They stood opposite Valkyrie, Seifer, and some sort of orange bird with large legs and stubby wings. The black-purple, vaguely feline creature floating above them with a crystal jammed in its right shoulder had to be Gene, Yuna figured.

“Look!” Rayquaza pointed his tail down. “Those daemons art reanimating on the spot!”

Three skeletons lay disassembled in muddy terrain, water from Seifer’s Hydro Pump dripping off their scattered bones. The bones quivered, however, and inched back toward one another. They stitched themselves back into two cranidos and a rampardos. Yuna recognized the shapes from picture books back home.

Valkyrie stomped her foot. The muddy ground beneath the skeletons trembled. They collapsed atop one another, giving her enough time to look up and spot Yuna. “Nice of you to join us. These devils keep doing this!”

Seifer turned right, raised a forehoof, and blasted a skeletal cranidos with a water jet. Its head and neck bones shot back into the tar, the rest of its body collapsing. “They’re not hard to defeat, but we can’t maintain this stalemate!”

The tar pits bubbled. Cranidos’ head reemerged, along with another bony rampardos. “I got this!” Noctum declared. He swooped down, metal coating his right wing. The black charizard rolled right past a Stone Edge spire emerging from the tar. He clubbed Rampardos’ head. It flew off its neck, landing on a tiny grass island in the distance. Within a few seconds, however, it floated into the air and hovered back across the tar pits.

“Well?” Valkyrie ducked a burst of ice from a rampardos. “You got them here, idiot! Now, execute your plan or whatever!”

Yuna looked to Gene, who sent five skeletons flying back with a flick of his right wrist. He had expected them to come? They hadn’t announced that. Was Gene that strong of a psychic?

“Say no more, Chompy!” Gene chirped.

“You don’t get to call me that!” Valkyrie snarled, blasting two cranidos standing on a rock into the tar with a single Dragon Pulse.

“Whatever!” Gene turned to Yuna. “Hey, swap out Noodle Boy for Fluff Dergin and have him hit with me the hottest fire he can manage!”

The dreepy’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy?”

“Why dost everyone keep insisting I’m a noodle?!”

“Aww, he called me fluffy! I like him!”

“Look, just do it!” Gene turned back around and sent two skeletal rampardos careening up the grass and dirt hill with a single pink energy beam.

Sighing, Yuna recalled Rayquaza into the Soul Dew. Reshiram emerged in a spiral of blue and orange flame. The display was enough to stop the skeletons clambering back onto land from the tar pits. They looked up in unison, their bony jaws dropping one after another.

Reshiram opened his mouth wide. He spewed a massive gout of blue fire.

“Perfect!” Gene declared. The flames splashed against a pink barrier, which then wrapped up the fire. Arms trembling and shoulder gem sparking, Gene brought his glowing hands together. The fiery roll further squeezed into a pink and blue ball. With every passing second, it grew brighter and brighter.

“Get those three up here!” Gene ordered through gritted teeth. Noctum grabbed Seifer off the ground, while Reshiram wrapped Valkyrie and the orange bird up in his wings and shot back into the air.

At that, the skeletons realized they lost their pray. Three rampardos roared in unison.

“Let’s heat things up!” Gene cried, then hurled the glowing fireball at the ground. He immediately threw another pink barrier in front of the group.

The moment the fireball hit the ground, it erupted in a giant blue dome. The flames burnt away the skeletons, filling the already smoggy skies with extra smoke and ash.

“Whoo hoo hoo!” Gene dispelled the barrier and fanned himself with his right hand. “Now that’s what I call cooking with gas!” He flashed a thumb’s up to Reshiram. “Good work, Fluffy.”

Reshiram puffed his chest out pridefully. Squirming in his grasp, Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

“W… was that really necessary?” Seifer wondered from his position on Noctum’s back. “Those were… souls corrupted by Malice, weren’t they? Like what Cyril told us?”

“Those guys? Nah.” Gene waved the keldeo off with his black-yellow tail. “They were crawling out of the tar from the get-go. Probably passed away long before Eternatus schlorped up Planet Bogdan.”

Seifer frowned. If he wasn’t convinced, Yuna didn’t blame him. It was quite the sight… and she hadn’t even been there for the start of it.

“But I tried using fire on the skeletons myself and it didn’t work!” Valkyrie protested. The garchomp had managed to get onto Reshiram’s back, which prompted him to place the orange bird next to her. “What gives?”

“We needed sufficient pressure to blow them up. That’s why I’m glad your buddies showed up.” Gene pointed to Yuna. “Fluffy could make enough flames for me to compress with my psionics. Heat needs to expand, after all.” The mewtwo squished his hands together. “So, when it’s prevented from doing that, the pressure keeps building and building until… fwoom!” He forcibly spread his hands. “Like a graveler self-destructing!”

Gene crossed his arms, smirking. “It’s basic calorimetry. Look it up.”

Yuna stared blankly at him. She understood maybe half his explanation. “Um, you’re welcome?”

“And what if they didn’t show up, huh?” Seifer growled, pointing his horn at Gene. Was it shinier than the last time she saw the keldeo?

Gene shrugged. “I knew they’d show.”

“What does that even—”

An intense ripple of purple, distorted energy raced across the land. The tar it crossed bubbled more intensely, while cracks and fissures ran through the dirt and mud of the narrow land strip running up ahead of them.

“What was that?” Reshiram looked around in a panic. “That wasn’t a happy light. That was a scary, spooky, everything’s about to go to hell in a handbasket light!”

Valkyrie jabbed the back of his head. “Get a grip, dweeb.”

Reshiram grabbed his chest ruff with both wings.

“Whatever it was, it looked like it came from Moonshine Bayou up ahead.” Gene pointed an index finger forward. The land strip disappeared into the haze.

“A bayou?” Noctum scratched his head. “What’s that?”

“Swamplands,” Valkyrie responded. “Marshes and humidity and junk. Good for water and grass-types.” She looked over her shoulder. “But what’s a bayou doing close to tar pits?”

“No idea!” Gene was surprisingly chipper considering the uncertainty of this situation. Yuna had a hard time believing he was the leader of anything with such a lackadaisical attitude.

“Maybe this part of the mystery dungeon used to be swamplands at one point, too,” Reshiram proposed.

“Bah, doesn’t matter.” Gene waved the white dragon off. “We press on. Maybe the missing skorps are holed up in the bayou.” He turned around and shouted, “Hey, Skorp! You still with us?”

Flapping wings brought Yuna’s attention behind her. Out of the haze flew an honest-to-God aerodactyl.

Yuna’s gills retreated into her head. “Th… that’s…”

Noctum gasped “Aerodactyl? Those went extinct on Etherium millennia ago!”

“Yeah, yeah. Your buddies already flipped out over Kelly,” Gene exclaimed. “No one’s interested in a repeat performance.” He hovered over to Aerodactyl. “We saw something fishy coming from the bayou. You up to follow us?”

Still a bit shellshocked, Yuna nearly missed the weird skorupi with incineroar hands on its limbs. Talk about a crazy mishmash.

“I suppose these skorps must be good at lending a hand to one another.” Rayqauza’s hearty laugh rumbled in Yuna’s head.

… no. Just no.

The mewtwo signaled everyone to follow, but froze beside Reshiram. A frown crossed his features. “Wait, Cyril, slow down.” He pressed a finger to his temple. “Who?”

Before Yuna could ask what was wrong, Noctum’s tail flame grew in alarm. Seifer almost lost his grip on the charizard’s shoulders. Valkyrie then stood up on Reshiram’s back, “Not Chiaki!” She looked at Gene. “Send me back to Venish… now!” Alarm spread across her face. “I have to— he needs—”

“Whoa, whoa!” Reshiram wobbled in midair. “Please remain seated until the fluffy boy says otherwise!”

“To hell with that!” Valkyrie huffed out dragonfire. “Chiaki got caught up in an explosion! I have to save him!”

An explosion?! Yuna’s ectoplasm quivered. He had to be okay. He just had to.

“You’ll never get to him fast enough,” Gene said, finally looking serious. “I’ll go.”

“Then I’m coming with you!” Valkyrie raised her arms. “He’s… he’s my responsibility.”

Yuna didn’t buy that, given how rarely she’d seen the two together. Nevertheless, Gene nodded. “Fine. Hope you don’t get sick from levitation.”

The mewtwo raised his right arm. A pink aura surrounded Valkyrie. Gene levitated the garchomp to his side. “The rest of you press on. We need to find out what’s happening at the bayou. Skorp can give you directions.”

A rift split the air open behind him. Gene and Valkyrie ducked into it without another word. The rest of the group exchanged uneasy glances.

“Are we sure going ahead is a good idea?” Seifer shifted nervously on Reshiram’s back. “Maybe we should wait and confirm Chiaki’s okay.”

Yuna liked that idea, but Kelly shrieked her disapproval. “Whoa there, girl!” Skorp exclaimed, petting the back of the aerodactyl’s head.

“Somehow, I get the feeling the natives dost not want us to wait,” Rayquaza said. Yuna glimpsed the end of his black tail twitching in anticipation. “Be on guard, Princess.”

“Sorry there, folks.” Skorp laughed nervously. “Kelly wants to save her friends real bad, eh. And so do I. We oughta follow Gene’s orders.”

Noctum’s tail flame shrank. “A-After you, then.”

Skorp nodded. With several flaps of her wings, Kelly disappeared into the smog. The rest of the group followed after her. While not as effective as Rayquaza’s winds, Reshiram’s tail engine dispelled some of the haze. The ground ahead grew wetter. Dirt turned to mud. The grass was grayer and crabbier. Black tar pits turned to luminescent pools of thick, purple fluid.

But all that paled in comparison to the sight of a large gray ship stuck in the middle of the poisonous lake, capsized against a wedge-shaped island like a beached wailord.

“What the heck?” Noctum’s flame grew in alarm. “That symbol on the side… isn’t that the Polaris logo?” He pointed to a blue compass whose needle pointed north.

“That’s a waste management ship,” Seifer declared. “What is the meaning of this?”

“I don’t think that’s always been here,” Skorp mumbled, poking his three index fingers together. “Oh, it’s giving me the heebie jeebies, yessir.”

“Princess, look!” Rayquaza cried. “On the island the ship crashed into. It’s the Needle!”

Yuna’s head involuntarily swiveled right. Sure enough, at the top of the island sat a large golden rod. However, the eye-like gemstone Yuna had seen on the previous Needles was nowhere to be found. In fact, it looked as if someone had blown it off the top of the Needle. The remaining metal was littered with scorch marks.

Instead, there was an ominous purple sphere floating over the Needle. Purple tendrils ran from the sphere toward the purple ooze surrounding the island.

Yuna gulped. “Is that… the source of the poison?”

She wasn’t expecting anyone to answer. Nor did she expect to hear a startled squeal to her right. The dreepy turned to find Reshiram’s tail crackling with blue fire. Seifer swung his hind legs up in alarm.

“H-Hey! Stop it! Be still!” he ordered.

It was all in vain, however. Reshiram took off toward the sphere. Yuna swore she saw his eyes glistening. She was about to call to him when an anguished roar made her gills shrivel.

“LUGIA!”

The metallic hallway in Paradox Tower was filled with assorted poipole and Eternatus Brawlers offering applause to Paradox as he floated forward. A few Brawlers awkwardly tossed confetti with their large maces. Sticky shot the ones on his right glares. The confetti was blocking his tablet screen.

“A lovely sermon, sir. Or is it Your Excellency, now?”

Sticky glanced left at the large serperior slithering beside Paradox. Her head split open so a much smaller seviper poked through. “Still, I don’t understand why I have to take up the archbishop mantle. I’m a fighter, not a preacher.”

The naganadel agreed with her, though he figured it came down to the fact that Uroboros was the deoxys’ most trusted lieutenant.

“It’s only temporary,” Paradox assured her, right tentacles twisting into an arm to wave her off. “I have a more permanent replacement chosen already. However, he is a bit… preoccupied at the moment. With an assignment on our Benefactor’s prison.”

Uroboros’ red eyes narrowed. The peeled back serperior eyes followed suit. “Are you saying you’ve chosen an Etherian?”

Paradox paused midstride. His head swiveled atop his neck. “Are you questioning my judgement?”

The poipole in the hallway shrank back toward the walls, while the Brawlers stepped forward, maces sparking with purple energy.

“Not at all, Your Excellency.” Uroboros bowed her seviper head. “I’m simply… curious. Does our Benefactor not reward an inquisitive mind?”

A chuckle followed. “Touché.” Paradox turned his head around and resumed moving forward. “Yes, this fellow is Etherian. But he empathizes with our struggle.” He brought his right hand to his chin. “For, like us Eternians, he has lost something dear to him: his kingdom. Taken from him wrongfully in the chaos caused by the traitor and her mate.”

“I see.” Uroboros licked her lips. The parts of her serperior head curled in excitement. “And what, exactly, does this fellow look like?”

“Sticky!” Paradox snapped his fingers.

Sticky sighed. He was in the middle of reading a message, but that would clearly have to wait. A few pecks of his tablet with a claw and he had the photo ready. The naganadel held up the tablet and weaved between Paradox and Uroboros so the latter could see.

“Seriously?” She squinted. “He looks like a clove of garlic.” Uroboros curled her lips. “I bet he’s grass-type. You’d seriously trust an archbishop with so many weaknesses?”

Paradox continued forward without answering her. His right arm unfurled into tentacles. Sticky wasn’t sure if he was supposed to answer in the emperor’s place.

Best to take the initiative. “I would think a Paradigm member would understand how appearances can be deceiving,” he said.

“Fair enough.” Uroboros’ seviper head retreated. The serperior head closed and stared Sticky down. “Why the attitude, though? I saw you looking at that little rectangle like it was a piece of spoiled meat.”

“Oh?” Paradox stopped in front of the door to his office. “Have you something to report, Sticky?”

“I, uh, hadn’t finished reading the alert I’d been sent.” Sticky hastily pulled the message back up on his tablet.

“Well, I do hope you plan on sharing.” Paradox pointed his left tentacles at him.

“Of course!” Sticky flinched at the voice crack. “It, um, seems as though our network infrastructure has encountered some… technical difficulties, sir.”

Silence. Sticky took that to mean he should continue. “We’ve lost contact with other planets aside from Axiom, sir. And our spy camera network is, according to the analysts, ‘glitching out.'”

Uroboros’ serperior head parted slightly. Sticky shrank back from the rows of serrated teeth on the insides of what should have been a leafy body. “A rebel attack?”

“Unlikely,” Paradox scoffed.

Sticky agreed. There was no way the rebels had the wherewithal to cause this great of a system disruption. At the same time, he doubted it was some random blip in the system. Something must have happened.

“And you’re going to get to the bottom of it, aren’t you?”

“Eep!” Sticky wasn’t expecting Paradox to be right up in his face. Had the deoxys teleported when he wasn’t looking. “Of course. I’ll head down to the data center at once!”

The naganadel shakily saluted with his left arm and headed back the way the small procession came. Whatever this was, it was spoiling the new emperor’s coronation. And Sticky couldn’t afford to let it sour what was supposed to be a big day.

Pain.

Intense, searing pain. All over Chiaki’s face. But the left side had it the worst with a harsh stabbing sensation. Something was jammed there. Where his left eye was supposed to be.

And yet, it should’ve hurt more. He was caught in an explosion. Chiaki had just enough time to throw himself on top of Scarlett. But now everything was a total blur.

Why couldn’t the grovyle feel his head leaf? Hell, why couldn’t he feel anything below his neck?

He was breathing, but every breath was a struggle. Like an unseen hand kept trying to force him underwater. Broken ribs piercing his lungs, perhaps? Why no pain, then?

Chiaki had to move. An arm. A leg. Something.

No response.

Panic crept in. He had to fight it. Push it away. Panic would do him in for sure. Chiaki had to escape somehow. And that meant figuring out what things looked like, right?

His right eye was open, though. He was sure of it. It’s just too blurry.

But his left eye…

No! Chiaki couldn’t think about that. Couldn’t think—

Blood splattered on his abdomen. His left arm clamping the leftover stump of his right.

Ringing. He heard nothing but ringing.

Right, he had the X-transceiver in one frill and a specialized ear plug in another. The explosion must’ve damaged his inner ears.

The panic was creeping in again. He couldn’t take any calming, steady breaths.

But he couldn’t hear. Couldn’t see. Couldn’t move.

He lifted his head. There were black and purple shapes he could barely make out. “Help me!” he screamed.

Silence, then a single, harsh order.

“Leave him. He’s dead weight.”

It had happened again. Obsession had given way to recklessness. Last time it cost him an arm. This time, it would cost half his sight, his hearing, and his mobility. Assuming he even made it out alive.

Every breath was getting harder. Heavier. He was sure his chest was filling with fluid. Or air. Or even both.

The blurs took shape. Metal shards digging into his chest, gut, hips, and legs. His green and red scales burned away, replaced by expanding boils and burnt flesh.

… but there was a dragonair at his feet. Scrapes and singes peppered her shabby blue scales. However, she was breathing.

She was alive. He’d protected her. He… he…

Golden light enveloped Chiaki and Scarlett. This is it, the grovyle thought. The injuries were too severe. There was no way he was bouncing back from it.

He was even more convinced when most of the pain around his head faded, along with the sensation something was stuck in his left eye socket.

But when the light faded, he was still among metal shards and other assorted rubble. Most of the debris impaling him was gone and a good portion of his burns were healed, albeit replaced by gray scales instead of his usual green and red. His left field of vision was still black, however.

That was when a large black arm reached down and grabbed Scarlett. Chiaki wanted to yell. To cry for help. But he couldn’t get his lips to move.

A second arm grabbed hold of him and hoisted him into the air. Black smoke soon shrouded the burning, ruined remnants of Starlene’s trailer. The arm turned Chiaki around. He saw a black, muscular chest which gave way to a black head with two fierce, red eyes.

A dragon? Chiaki wondered. That should’ve been impossible. Nevertheless, his mystery savior threw him over its right shoulder, beside the dragonair. There, Chiaki saw some sort of blue-striped cone sticking out of the creature’s butt. Its tail? It spun like a turbine, giving off blue sparks. How was that remotely safe with a fire nearby?

It was then that Chiaki realized a familiar dusknoir and corviknight floated by the creature’s tail. Griffon gesticulated wildly while Vegna stared at him. His eye was… as blue as the tail turbine.

Chiaki’s head tingled. Was this… disturbingly muscular thing one of Vegna’s undead minions?!

The grovyle had no time to chew on this thought, however. Vegna pointed forward. Griffon lowered his head in defeat before black shadows sucked him into Vegna’s body. Chiaki’s savior rose into the air and Vegna floated closer to it. He made eye contact with Chiaki for a brief moment, but it was enough for him to assume what Vegna was thinking.

He knows this is my fault.

CDL-408: Outpost R3X, Planet Bogdan
A dwarf planet in the Andromeda Galaxy named for its mix of rainforests and mirelands. Some time before Eternatus claimed it, a freak accident caused tar to seep out of the planet’s crust. Nearby swamps turned to tar pits, which Archbishop Chiron decided to collect and process for use in construction projects. She contracted a tribe of violently territorial drapion to work the newly made factory. Said drapion drove away the natives and feral pokémon, who had lived together peacefully up until that point.

A few centuries after Paradox assumed power, he had the drapion tribe assimilated into Eternatus Troopers after they spelled his name wrong on their tax returns. The outpost fell into a state of disrepair until it was discovered by a group of nomads: the Skorps. They’re genetically identical mutant skorupi who, according to Boss Kitty, reproduce through budding. Creepy, right? Ah, the “wonders” of Eternatus’ insides.

The Skorps got the outpost running again and, with the archbishop’s permission, resumed supplying tar for portions of the Qliphoth. Although they work with the Paradox regime, they’re sympathetic to the rebellion thanks to Boss Kitty saving them from multiple pirate raids over the years. I think the little incineroar hands they have instead of their stingers are creepy, but I’m not in charge, so I’ve got to put up with it.