Report

“I still can’t believe you sent a bandit like that packing!” Melrose smiled at Xander as the both of them walked around Constella. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” The Pikachu giggled at her now blushing friend.

“I’m still upset I didn’t get the money back.” Xander sighed, though it was hard to keep feeling bad about himself with Melrose around. “Plus, it wasn’t that impressive. He seemed like quite the petty low life.”

“Don’t be silly! Taking on a Pokémon like that is no joke. Sure, most of us are used to having to fight off the occasional wild Pokémon, but they’re easy to outsmart. In a real fight, you have to stay on your toes! Plus, from the sound of it, you really messed the guy up!” Melrose grinned from ear to ear, punching at the air as she participated in an imaginary fight with her own thief.

Xander laughed, “Focus a second for me, would you? You mentioned hearing something on the news about a ‘Team Outlier.’ Do you know anything else about that?”

Melrose’s fists fell, “Oh! No, I’m sorry. The only thing I know is that they exist, and that some of the city dwellers think they’re the reason the crime rate is so high. I think the particular station I was listening to was more concerned about the gossip of it all.”

Xander stopped when they approached the market. “Hold that thought. Can you read to me everything Mrs. Gloria wrote on that list she gave me?”

“Mhmm!” Melrose removed the parchment from her Treasure Bag and gave it a look over. “Oh my goodness, her handwriting is so, so, so bad.”

“Give her a break, she’s like… ten trillion years old.” Xander laughed. “Do your best, though. I’m sure they won’t get too mad if I mess something up.”

“Alright, sooo, It looks like she needs fresh bread, coffee beans, tea leaves… I think that says ‘any kind,’ and sugar.” Melrose looked around at all the different stalls. “It shouldn’t be hard for us to find all those things, right?”

“You tell me,” Xander nudged Melrose with his paw. “You’re the one with the memories and the know-how, aren’t you?”

Melrose blushed and rubbed her cheek. “Heh! Let’s start looking then, ‘cause I have no clue where to start!”

The twosome started to stroll through the market square, keeping close and taking their time. Being a smaller Pokémon had its advantages, since it made slipping around and squeezing passed others take very little effort. However, it came with the caveat of much bigger Pokémon being able to accidentally crush you. Though after some careful observation, it seemed that responsibility to not cause an accident fell upon the larger Pokémon, so Xander tried to relax a little.

Melrose tugged Xander towards a stall that had an adorable display of fresh baked goods. The Pikachu removed two pouches from her Treasure Bag, one with the money Gloria and Remmy gave Xander (which Xander insisted Melrose carry), and the other filled with her personal funds.

“We need a loaf of bread, please.” Xander glanced up at the Alcremie running the stand.

“And can we get two of those little sweetbreads shaped like Psyducks?” Melrose smiled brightly, removing her own money from the pouch for the personal purchase.

“Of course, you two! One moment,” the Alcremie reached for a paper sack to place the bread in. She was humming happily to herself, and Melrose started to hum too— it seemed to be a tune they were both familiar with. “Here you go, dears.” Alcremie took the money from Melrose’s hand and exchanged it for the bag of bread. “Enjoy it now!”

“We will!” Melrose called back as she started to walk away with Xander. She placed the paper sack in her Treasure Bag before reaching inside and pulling out the sweetbreads. ”Let’s go sit down in the shade over there. I want to try these!”

Xander sat against one of the buildings nearby and watched as Melrose placed the Psyduck bread in one of his paws. The Litten sniffed it and purred quietly, the sugary scent making his tastebuds water. Melrose didn’t hesitate to start eating hers, and her mouth was full of bread when she turned to speak. “Go on! Take a bite!”

Xander bit the little head of the design off, his purr growing loud enough for his friend to hear. Melrose only smiled, letting the Litten eat in silence.

Once Xander was finished, he started to clean the crumbs out of his fur with his tongue. “Thank you for buying those Mel, it was really good.”

“I knew you’d like ‘em.” Melrose winked, then stood up to also dust the crumbs off her chest. “I thought a snack like that would do us some good. Now, back to shopping!”

The sugar was the next easiest grocery to find, since it was at a really big stall with various spices and powders. The tea leaves and coffee were sold fairly close by, but there were way more types of coffee roasts than Xander could have ever imagined. The stand owner’s eye twitched when he asked for “the most normal one,” but they were able to make their purchases without too much trouble.

Melrose glanced at the stall that, just yesterday, Koa was using to sell apples. She knew he wasn’t going to be there still, but for some reason it still made her a little sad. She shook away the feeling when Xander nudged at her arm with his paw.

“Hey, do you think you could come to the police station with me? I wanted to report the robbery from last night. It seems like one of those things you’re supposed to do when this kind of stuff happens.”

Melrose nodded her head, “You have my full attention until the semester starts, Xandy! Of course I’ll come with you.”

Xander winced when she used the nickname again, but shrugged it off– opting to just get to the point. “Would I be lucky enough to find out you just so happen to know where the Police Station is?”

“Nope! But, I can ask for ya.” Melrose turned her head back towards the owner of the coffee stand and poked his shoulder as he was talking to another customer. “Excuse me, sir. Could you tell me and my friend which way the Police Station is? We’re new to town!”

The Pignite huffed as his attention was pulled away from his current buyer, but he tried to feign at least a semblance of politeness as he pointed the right way. “If you walk down that street and take a left by the Fabric Store there, you’ll see the Station at the end of that road. Got it?”

“I do. Thank you, mister!” Melrose turned back towards the Litten and smiled down at him. Xander nodded his head, and the two started their walk to the police. It was a little further than the instructions made it sound, but with a stomach full of sweets and a friend by your side, the walk was rather enjoyable.

As they stepped through the door, they could make out an Arcanine sitting at a desk and a Machop standing beside her. A few Magnemite were flying around, exporting documents from one side of the room to another. The Machop waved as the Police were joined by two civilians, and Arcanine looked up from her work. “Mornin’, folks.”

“Hiya!” Melrose sang as she skipped inside. Xander’s ear flicked as he gave the Pikachu a side-eye, but she, of course, didn’t notice it.

“Give me just one moment, I’ll be with you in a second.” The Arcanine continued to read the document on her desk and growled. Xander tried to get a peak at it. Whatever it was, it looked very official. Actually, it looked a lot like the acceptance letter Melrose received from R.E.D. Academy…

One of the Magnemite zipped by and floated in front of Melrose. “SCANNING PROCEDURE INITIATED. DO NOT BE ALARMED.” Its singular eye glowed brightly as it investigated the Pikachu from head to toe. It paid very specific attention to her bag, taking much longer in comparison to finish observing it. Afterwards, it quickly glanced over Xander, the Magnemite’s eye returning to normal once it was done. “SCAN COMPLETE. LOG OF ITEMS HAS BEEN SENT TO ALL MAGNEMITE. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY.” The Pokémon floated away, and Melrose watched as it did with confusion.

“Sorry about that,” the Arcanine finally stood up from her desk, scooting the letter she was reading under a stack of other papers. Xander could have sworn she gave Machop an unseen look of guilt for a moment. “Any Pokémon that enters the Police station has to be scanned, so we know what moves and items they have at their disposal. So, how can I help you two?”

“I was wondering if this is where I needed to go to report a robbery?” Xander tilted his head.

Arcanine gave him a slightly suspicious look, “You came here? And not the E.B.S.?”

Xander tucked into himself, “Well, I–”

“ Thank you .” The Arcanine laughed. “Seriously. Everyone has been moaning and griping about the crimes happening around town, but then they keep going to that goddamn radio station instead of actually telling the police anything. How the hell are we supposed to help anyone if we can’t sufficiently log any of the incidents.” She looked over at the Machop. “Percy, do you think you could help them out?”

“R-really?” The Machop stood up straight, “ I’ve never recorded a crime before, Ma’am!”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything. You’ll need to learn some day, yeah? GIZMO–” She roared loudly, and the Magnemite from before floated over. “Retrieve the Crime Log and bring it over here, would ya? Oh, and an investigation slip.”

The Magnemite hurried over to a large set of filing cabinets and used magnetic pulses to open them. The papers were held in metal baskets, so that it could easily move them around without the need for hands. Just as it was instructed, Gizmo set the basket with the Crime Log, and another basket with a great many slips of paper in it, down on the front desk.

Percy hurried to his spot behind the desk and grabbed the log from the basket, opening it to the current page. “Okay, you should know how to do some of this already.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Percy grabbed a pen and started to fill in the current date.

“So, What’s your full name?” Arcanine looked down at Xander.

“Xander,” the Litten spoke clearly.

“Alright, so leave the last name box blank. You know what kind of Pokémon he is, right?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Percy kept filling in the parts of the log that he knew how to do. The officer smiled down at him. “Can you ask this question? I always get embarrassed…”

“Okay, but you need to learn to get over it. I’ll do it for you this time though.” Arcanine looked back at Xander. “Gender?”

Xander stood there for a second, surprised by his own silence. For some reason, he really didn’t have an immediate and confident answer to this question. Melrose gave him a perplexed look, but Arcanine seemed a bit more understanding.

“There are a few boxes we can check, and it doesn’t have to be just one of them. In the log we have ‘Male, Female, Genderless, Nonbinary, Unlisted.’ Do any of those sound okay?”

Xander fidgeted, for some reason Melrose’s stare was tearing into him. He barely muttered a whisper. “G…Genderless.”

“Check the Genderless box, Percy.”

Xander looked down at his paws and avoided revealing whatever reaction Melrose was having to himself. It wasn’t that he thought she would hate him over something like this, Xander was just already removed from his comfort zone by having to answer such a personal question. The worst part was it happened in front of both someone he knew and complete strangers.

“Alright, so, now that you’ve done all that, we need to fill out this larger section over here. This is when the civilian will give you their account. You don’t have to write down everything they say, just the important stuff.” Arcanine nodded her head as she spoke, but her trainee looked up at her with a mildly stressed expression.

“But, how will I know what’s important and what I should leave out?”

Arcanine slanted her head. “Yeah, that’s the hard part. You need to use your police intuition, which takes a lot of practice. That’s why I’m here, okay? I’ll let you know if you missed something. You just write everything you think you need to write.” She patted the top of his head carefully with her massive paw, and the confidence returned to the Machop’s face.

“Mr. Xander, can you tell me when the robbery took place?”

“Right, yeah.” Xander was snapped out of his internal crisis. “It was yesterday, right around sundown I think. I didn’t notice my money had been stolen until a few minutes later.”

Percy scribbled something down, occasionally glancing up at his mentor for approval – who just kept motioning for him to continue. “Where did the robbery take place?”

“The Pokémon who robbed me stole the money after we bumped into each other down that main road near the market. I’m new in town, so I don’t know the exact location…” Xander’s tail flicked as he thought back on it. “I chased after him later, finding him in an alleyway connected to the Market Square. By then, he didn’t have my money on his person.”

“Right, and what did the thief look like? Were you able to distinguish any of his features?”

“He was a blue and silver Pokémon who walked on all fours, like I do.” Xander rubbed his chin with his paw. “Oh, and he wore a dark blue hood.”

Percy’s eyes widened from recognition, “Hey! Miss Jen, I’ve been hearing lots of pretty crime reports based around that Pokémon. Nickit, wasn’t it?”

Arcanine nodded, “Yes. He’s one of the troublesome goons that belong to Team Outlier. We’ve actually arrested him before, but he managed to slip away before we could get him to the station.” The Arcanine grimaced. “Actually, the only reason he was able to get away was because the Royal Guards started throwing a really big hissy fit about who got to bring him in–”

As if right on cue, the door to the police station swung open. It was pushed by a large set of hooves, hitting the wall its hinges were connected to. A stack of papers in the back of the room fell off a shelf, and all the Magnemite stared down at the mess before glaring at the door.

The flaming Rapidash and his fantastical counterpart stormed into the station. The Fairy Type turned his head sharply to flip his hair dramatically. “We’ve got a bone to pick with you, Jennifer!”