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    The Archipelago Continent prides itself on peace with help from the Detectives and Guild. However, an arcane fog begins appearing on islands, bringing natural disasters and chaos, allowing pirates to roam. What secrets lie within the fog? Fogcutters T’nuri and Alejandrien must work with their fellow Detectives Kaliente and Emile to cut through the mysteries before all goes to ruin.

    Originally posted April 22nd, 2023

    Updated January 4th, 2024

    Chapter Song made by me

    Name: Ruinous Fog Spreading (String Sextet)

    https://on.soundcloud.com/xf2ad

    The Ocean. A dirge of multicolored frigid saltwater. Occasional spots of white bubbly foam and clumps of red seaweed made up the vast seascape.

    Usually, the ocean’s gentle waves harkened an adventurous trek or perhaps even filled one with dread. But not for this Pokémon. A Cubone twitched as the lull of the water’s voice rolled against her ears. Salty yet quiet. I feel empty, T’nuri thought as she dared to flit open her rich brown eyes. Am I hollow?

    She lay splayed out on a thick wooden board. Dark brine of seawater waved below. The Cubone and the board drifted closer and closer to a small inlet. All the while the seafoam bubbled and washed away. The tiniest bit of wind picked up. Was a storm brewing?

    A mist, a deep plume of light grey mist clouded the Cubone’s surroundings. And her vision. She took in a deep breath, only to flinch and hold her chest. “What is this-” she paused to squeeze her eyes shut.”-h-heat.” Mother.

    Darkness all consumed T’nuri as she forced her eyes open. A pitch-black swath haunted the entire skyline.

    More heat spread through the Cubone’s upper body. She strained once again as the warmth intensified, buried her claws against her maw, and thrashed her tail. 

    Nevertheless: the sea continued its waves. 

    As the waters ebbed and flowed the clouds morphed into a thin blanket across the land. A pulse of rich purple, followed by a pulse of dark green danced across the sky, straight from above, finally, all was still, T’nuri, nay, all succumbed to the darkness.


    Raindrops piddled and paddled all across a northern island. A northern island plagued by a bitter and brisk wind. Along with rain. Such foul weather, this weather pelted T’nuri as she lay crumpled on the shore. Bits of coarse sand, tiny fragments of shells, and itty-bitty pebbles dug into the Cubone’s scales. She propped herself on her elbows, winced, and a stifled groan escaped her maw. “Where am I?”

    The Cubone staggered off the ground and immediately blanched as she lurched forward; latent seasickness. As T’nuri suppressed the new wave of nausea, she shivered and glanced around.

    Then the Cubone felt another pinprick of pain. “Why,” she gasped as her pupils dilated, “why do I feel this way?” 

    T’nuri flinched as the slightly heavier rain grew denser, and her own eyes watered. The Cubone wiped away the beginnings of tears and lifted her head. It’s like I’m close to home, but just so far away. This isn’t Pa’a Lepo Island.  

    “Where’s my books?” She patted the sand beside her. The last thing I remember was sitting somewhere with one about doors. It was something about crafting designs and techniques for them.

    The Cubone scanned her surroundings, there was nothing of note. “My bag’s gone too! Ugh, this can’t get any worse.”

    The sky was dark. Dark as thick heavy clouds rolled across. There weren’t any signs of tropical life despite the beach. Just rocks, sand, and yellowed grasses.

    A question came into the Cubone’s mind: What island had a climate like this? “Why is there a mist that blocks the entire ocean?” she questioned and narrowed her eyes.

    T’nuri walked to the water’s edge and gazed out into the rich dark blue ocean, and watched the pull of the light teal tide further and further out. She stood entranced by a strange low hanging cloud for a moment until she backed up. Her jaw dropped as she gripped her bone tightly and scanned the sea again. The Cubone’s vision had not betrayed her.

    All across the same point in the water was a thick grey wall of impenetrable condensation. “There’s no ships on the water here? Then where’s the one I was on? La Llovizna The Drizzle?” 

    The mist was strange. One that prevented sight of all behind it, an irregular mist. The Cubone sighed as the sharp rain continued to drizzle. I wanna go home. “I should-” she paused again as she grunted from a chilly gust of wind. “I should just go look for some local Pokémon and some shelter for now.” 

    T’nuri turned away from the ocean and stared at the beach and walked. She trudged out of the sand and made her way out of the rocky path of the shore; noticed a small path in the marsh.

    As the bits and pieces of the earth connected with the expanse of the island, they made for a fascinating sight.

    Fields of thin brushes, intermingled with sand and stone came into view on the off-beaten path. The Cubone shook her head. “There’s no signs of wood or stone-lined trails for access to and from the beach.” She kicked a stray rock. “It’s not like Hau’s Beach in Pa’a Lepo or any other popular beach.”

    On her path the weather intensified gradually. There was a path from a dark paved road, T’nuri found the hillcrest ahead of her and her eyes followed every which way she walked. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the road and she picked up her pace. Maybe it’s just backwater country? The Cubone swiftly parted through the sparse yellowing grass as she ventured uphill. Once she reached the zenith she was higher up in the land, she stopped.

    In the rain, there shone beam of faint light. “What’s that?” T’nuri peered closer. The light was a gentle and steady yellowish-orange hue, and unchanged by the onslaught of increasing foul weather across the island.

    Could it be a house or cabin? Maybe someone is home?  The Cubone pondered. A home, like mine.

    She searched the immediate area. No one. T’nuri narrowed her eyes and tried to glance far ahead beyond the hill before her. Dark mounds of soil littered with rounded stones crept up in the distance, with feeble stalks and blades of decrypt flora that stood tall amid the wind. There were nooks and crannies unceremoniously dug all around were signs of unprecedented wild Pokémon life.

    T’nuri sighed. “Finally, someone to talk to could be close. Maybe, just maybe I could figure out how to get home.

    Once she rounded the grouping of trees she once again saw a glimpse of the ocean. The dark thick wall of mist encroached closer to the shoreline. But that ocean wasn’t level with the Cubone, it was past a cliff, and down the shore.

    The Cubone gazed over the foamy sea, and the fog-covered beach beside it. There was some sort of commotion down by that beach, as the waves crashed loudly and something went on nearby. A nimbus of grey fog sprang into the sky along with a wave of heat.

    As she looked deeper into the low-hanging cloud she couldn’t help but subconsciously lurch forward a bit. “What is this weird feeling?” It’s kinda like a pulling force. T’nuri gasped. “Is there something wrong with that mist?”

    “No, it’s not the mist,” a muffled voice called out from the ground below.

    “What?!” the Cubone asked, she clutched her chest and rushed back to the hills of earth and stone before her.

    The rolling land around her was dotted with small tunnels and patches of browned grass, large piles of rocks atop the ground far as the eye could see. There were even holes in the earth beside the Cubone.

    She felt the earth tear apart for a moment, while more and more tunneling continued. Soon a hole formed in the dirt. 

    A Drilbur climbed out of the hole in front of the Cubone. Their nose twitched wildly before they took a step back. “Hello,” the Drilbur said.

    “Uh, hi,” T’nuri replied before she tilted her head. “Who are you? And how do you know about the mist?”

    “I am a wild Pokémon, Drilbur,” they answered.

    “Just Drilbur?” the Cubone questioned.

    The Drilbur let out a long sigh. “Common domestic behavior. At the moment I don’t need to give you my name.”

    Instead of a reply, T’nuri took a step back and tucked her tail against her side.

    “Sorry. You’re uh, not a terrible domestic-” the Drilbur paused their comment. “Er, more importantly, you should leave this island as soon as possible.”

    “Am I trespassing or something?” the Cubone asked.

    “No, but, you still must leave,” a slightly weaker voice trembled as the earth below dug through. Out of the dirt beside the Drilbur, a teal Sandshrew appeared. The icy-steel-Sandshrew scuttled close to their wild companion. “A ruinous fog is coming to destroy this and every island.”

    T’nuri took yet another step back. “A ruinous fog?”

    The Drilbur and Sandshrew leaned on each other and closed their eyes. “Do you doubt our claims, Cubone? Who even are you?”

    “I-I never said that! I’m just a woodworking craftsmon!” she clutched her bone-club tighter. 

    “Ah, so you are used to change.” Drilbur grinned.

    T’nuri rubbed her shoulder. “Yes?”

    “The cutting of wood, sawing the lumber, and carving your vision into life.” Sandshrew spread out their paws.

    “It’s just like the path you’ll take to go home, but you must not forget the support and primer, the final step. Delivery and assembly of your plan.”

    The Cubone’s jaw dropped before she spat. “What? For spark’s sake, how do you know what’s going on?!”

    The Drilbur shook their head. “Sorry, back to what is important. It’s plain to see the fog around the sea and our island isn’t normal.”

    “You have the scent of seawater on you, tell me you haven’t seen the fog,” the Sandshrew added with a stifled growl. “It’s definitely one of ruin.”
    T’nuri’s eyes wavered. “I just need to see it being all ruinous to believe it. That’s all.”

    The Drilbur pointed out to the sky. “Look at the land. You can feel how unusual the rain is, it normally doesn’t sting.”

    “I guess that’s true, sorry for snapping, I’m just so confused,” the Cubone sighed.

    “You would like to go see for yourself?” the pair questioned.

    “If that would allow me to go back to my home on Pa’a Lepo Island then yes, I would.” T’nuri lowered her head.

    “Well, you could go down to the beach to the north of these hills to investigate,” the Drilbur said with a shiver.

    The Sandshrew stepped away from them with a sigh. “Perhaps one of the Mystery Dungeons on this island holds the answer. An outsider like you usually goes and checks whenever there is danger.”

    “All by myself?” the Cubone tilted her head.

    The Drilbur shook their head. “No, you may be able to get some help from one of those Pokémon on the shore.”

    “Oh, but be careful.” The Sandshrew tapped the ground.

    “Of the fog?” T’nuri asked.

    “Yes, but not just that. Some of the Pokémon down there may not be an ally you can rely on.”

    “Hmm.” The Cubone looked back to the murky sea and the even thicker plume of fog as it rolled across the waves. “I’ll keep that in mind. Farewell!”

    “Farewell traveler,” the Drilbur and Sandshrew called before they sniffed the air. They whispered to one another as T’nuri was almost out of earshot. “Prepare for the ruinous fog, and perhaps we’ll meet again.”

    What? The Cubone thought as she continued forward. Eh whatever.

    Across the island the dark grey fog grew, and the edges turned a crisp charred black as flashes of red and orange of fire brewed inside. Ruinous indeed.

    Still, in the turmoil of the rain, T’nuri jabbed her bone-club into the soil before she padded off further toward another part of the island. She took a clawful of dirt and squished it through her digits as she traveled downhill. The soil was made up of looser particles and had a chalky rich taste. “Nothing like the warm earthy ground of Pa’a Lepo Island.”  Or even the island I was supposed to end up on… Wait, why can’t I remember? Where am I? How did I even end up here?

    The Cubone stared at the thin ground before her and sighed. There was nothing of note across the land, besides empty holes and pitiful outcroppings of grass. “Of course, the wildeners just happened to speak of something ominous. ”

    Of course, they were naturally wary of me. What wildeners weren’t? She clutched her bone to her chest and hung her head low as she subconsciously whimpered. T’nuri fiddled with her bone as she scoured the land below.

    A few trees stood stalwart. “None of these are thick and plenty like the ones I was allowed to cut down,” she mused.

    The Cubone gripped onto her bone-club. The solid, well aged wood, perfect for my wood working. After all, who else would help make furniture and tools for folks all across the waters of the Continent?

    Empty fields, barren of growth and of life. An unsteady ground, the rocks and earth trembled under her feet.

    T’nuri stared at the hills before her and the path behind her. Ma and Pa let me make stuff for their Mystery Dungeon store. One day they set me up with an Adventuring Company, and even had some of my first shoddy crumbling pieces in the house. She didn’t have to look twice. No one was coming. “I miss them.”

    T’nuri glanced at the descent before her and nodded. Carefully the Cubone tried to maneuver to the bottom of the hill, unfortunately somewhere along the way the earth shifted all around her and fell apart.

    It continued until the entire section of hill crumbled under the Cubone’s feet. Dirt collapsed from every side and left the flimsy brittle rock to bear the brunt of all of the accumulated weight. It didn’t help that all of this earth was drenched by the onslaught of heavy rain either.

    “Shit!” T’nuri yelled as she managed to stay upright and ran away from the falling mass of debris and chunks of heavy rock all around and drew near the ground. She had to hop from jutting stone to stone to avoid being swallowed by the hillside’s destruction.

    Finally, her feet hit solid ground and she dashed away from the path of the landslide. Safe, the Cubone groaned as her tongue lulled out of her maw as she panted. Now she had time and felt around the ground for a good while.

    There was sand nearby. Small pockets of sand were present in the soil at the base of the hill. She sniffed at the air and tapped her bone against the ground.

    “Could the shore the Drilbur and Sandshrew mentioned be close?” The Cubone wondered and gazed down at the clearing. Below the clearing, there was a cliff with a clear shot of the beach.

    It wasn’t exactly clear. A thick black fog shrouded most of the area in front of her, the full range obscured partially by the noxious fume. It had spread up to where the Cubone was as well.

    One thing was clear as T’nuri headed into the cloud. She flinched, eyes wide before she panted. “There’s another pull again. What is it?”

    She hurried closer to the edge of the cliff and waved her bone through the foggy air, and parted the wave slowly. Once out of breath, the Cubone made it to the fringe of the land. Then it was visible. The shadow, or visage of a particular Pokémon down by the sea. One that was clouded by fog and pulled T’nuri closer. A Jangmo-o.

    “Is that, the… The force that’s pulling me? T-that Jangmo-o?” The Cubone gasped. 

    The storm intensified yet again. More and more stinging rain poured from the sky as a harsh now warm squall filled in.

    A thunderstorm was on the horizon, and right over the island.

    “Drat!” T’nuri turned on her side and headed back to the hillocks. “I need to find shelter before I can reach the beach and maybe Jangmo-o.”

    Subconsciously she stepped away from the brink and managed to peer at the obsidian cloud. Inside it two unusual shapes were present. They moved about frantically as more fog spread.

    “There are more Pokémon in there?! Could some of them be the ones the wildeners warned me about?” The Cubone looked all around her.

    The once brisk wind had vanished. Something was going on.

    “Like an ax straight and true, Lunala’s wings gleam, Giritina’s wings beam. I already lost my shit, might as well jump in.” T’nuri took in a deep breath as the thick plume of fog surrounded her and ran as fast as she could to the path down shore.

    Despite the toxic miasma all around the Cubone quickly made her way through the vicious weather as the temperature continued to rise, and more and more of the fog engulfed the area slowly but surely. 

    But it wasn’t enough. As she crossed the great distance she could not continue to ignore her body’s protests as more gas and the torrential downpour sapped her stamina. 

    Eventually, she held her chest and staggered against a large rock face. T’nuri doubled over and fought to regain her breath.

    Intense heat swept across the island. It came off the plumes of fog that besieged the stormy land. The Cubone coughed and stood up taller for a brief moment.

    T’nuri dropped her bone club as more of the gas filled her lungs. She tried to stabilize her breathing as the area around her sweltered in an onslaught of warmth. One thought consumed her as she groaned in agony. My chest hurts again.

    “Spark! It hurts- even worse than before.” T’nuri sank to the ground and hacked violently, and closed her eyes through the whole ordeal. Once she stopped and pried open her eyes she was met with a sight that brought her still. Blood.

    Her own blood painted the sand before her. The Cubone’s eyes watered as her whole body was seized by the fog, and pain coursed through her veins. “What’s gonna happen to me?”

    As the black fog and thunderstorm consumed her and all across the Island a flash of lightning crackled through the sky and struck a nearby island along the sea.

    The thunder shook the land in a mighty roar. The Cubone’s eyes slowly closed shut. Embers of a first flame began to dance and once again the sky went black. Father. Wracked with exhaustion, fatigue, and illness T’nuri drifted asleep as the arduous fog ran its course.


    However, the worst was yet to come; on the sand by the sea, there was one particular scent. The one of fire.

    Here’s a playlist of songs I feel fit the series.
    https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL93-Dhnyik9YSxCv9CuI8UcuBaLIJALvM&si=sTG-kK-wzxgvONW7
    Feel free to enjoy at anytime.

    2 Comments

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    1. LimLomDragon
      Jun 1, '24 at 9:17 am

      Hi there, here for the V-Wheel review from the PMD Writers United community! Reading through Fogcut Voyage was a pleasure, and I’m more than happy that it was assigned as my first review! Now, let’s go over a few things.

      First of all, I have to commend your vocabulary. It’s quite strong and certainly benefits the slow burn, as well as the feeling of mystery and intrigue as a whole.

      As for character impressions, it seems that T’nuri is a castaway, which certainly had me curious as to what could have occured beforehand. Right away we follow her dealing with the mess she has found herself in, which made me quickly attached to the character, wondering how she’s going to get out of it.

      However, I will say, some of her monologue seems a little off. I know writing a scene with just one character makes it difficult to write spoken sentences, so here are my thoughts:
      It might damage immersion when a character is speaking to themselves so much. It almost feels like they’re talking to the reader. The initial monologue was perfectly fine, as it did a good job of delivering T’nuri’s panic upon realizing she has been stranded, but after this, some of her lines could have been written as inner thoughts instead.

      Then where’s the one I was on? La Llovizna the Drizzle?

      There’s no signs of wood or stone-lined trails for access to and from the beach.

      These are two cases where inner monologue or standard description could have worked better than speech. I left out the

      There’s no ships on the water here?

      and

      It’s not like Hau’s Beach (…)

      quotes, as they actually benefit from this. It would be a case of spoken words leading to inner thought, and vice versa.

      Moving on, the encounter with the wildeners was very interesting! It did a great job of establishing more information about the world, especially with how wlideners and domestic folks see each other. The dialogue itself is structured well, with enough description and actions in between to support its flow. It also manages to make the scene more ominous, as it really builds up the mystery surrounding this fog.

      Speaking of the fog, I’m very interested to know more about it. A poisonous mist spreading across the archipelago and bringing ruin to every island — that is an amazing concept for a mystery, and it makes me want to keep reading all the way through! I’m certainly looking forward to how our future detective team is going to figure this out.

      As for right now though, we see T’nuri hesitantly delving into it, with such a heartfelt line that it made me grin. Seriously, that whole

      Like an ax straight and true,

      line is going to be stuck in my head for a while.

      My chest hurts again.

      Spark! It hurts- even worse than before.

      Although this is a nice example of thought leading to speech, I think it would be better if it were separated by description, perhaps if the quote was placed after the action of T’nuri collapsing and closing her eyes. This would also put more space between the line where she closes her eyes and the following one where she pries them open again.

      And with our character left in such a perilous situation, the prologue ends. I do wonder why she has a connection with the Jangmo-o, it adds even more intrigue to this story, and I’m sure will be explained later. As for the greater mystery of the fog, it has left me asking so many questions. What is the fog’s cause? Why is it poisonous? How did the wildeners know about it? The more I think about it, the more questions I have, and that’s wonderful for a mystery story! Aside from the cool aesthetic of a strange fog shrouding the sea, what really helps this story is the threat this fog poses. We are immediately shown how dangerous it is, which makes the situation far more urgent, and the incentive to lift it more genuine. I truly am very curious to see how this all plays out!

      So, to wrap this up, my main criticism revolves around T’nuri’s speaking to herself, as it can be a little distracting. It could either be rewritten as inner thought, or more carefully placed alongside it. Other than that though, it was an enjoyable read! At the time of writing these final thoughts, I’ve already read through Chapter One, which I will comment on soon as well. This story made me both invested and very curious, which I would say is truly a success for a mystery. Looking forward to reading more!

      Oh, and by the way, the music you composed for this fic is quite wonderful, too! Definitely matches the general vibe of the story, and compliments it rather well. All in all, you did a good job! Keep it up!

    2. Mar 29, '24 at 12:47 pm

      Finally getting around to cross-posting this. Was someone looking for a quick, dive by review? Alright, I’ll bite.

      One thing I do want to mention is that I noticed quite a few sentence fragments. I wasn’t quite sure whether or not they were an intentional artistic choice so I’m not going to harp on them, but I wanted to at least mention it in case they weren’t.

      Something I think you did really well was set up intrigue here at the beginning. There’s this melancholic feeling of dread in this little opening part before T’nuri wakes up on the beach, and it makes me want to read more and find out how she ended up in this situation. It sounds like she doesn’t remember it when she wakes up on the beach, though? For the moment, I’ll assume it’s either some form of amnesia, or it’s actually a flash forward. One or the other.

      [“The last thing I remember was sitting somewhere with one about doors. It was something about crafting designs and techniques for them.”]

      This is a nitpick, but I did feel like this bit of dialogue felt a bit off. It’s not something I generally think of as being said out loud. At least, not like this. It’s not an issue of her talking to herself and speaking her thoughts out loud. It’s just the word choice or this particular part that feels a little off.

      [“Of course, the wildeners just happened to speak of something ominous. ”

      “Of course, they were naturally wary of me. What wildeners weren’t?”]

      Using wildener to refer to wild pokemon? I see I see. As an aside, though. When one paragraph ends with someone speaking, and the next paragraph opens with the same character continuing to speak, in standard English syntax you leave off the closing quotation mark on the first paragraph.

      I also want to mention that the encounter with the wildeners felt a little bit unsettling or even uncanny in a way, and I’m not sure if that was your intentional. I think it’s the way that they just sort of suddenly appeared when T’nuri was passing by to give her a vague warning. It felt…. Ominous. And that fits well with the tension, I think! I just wasn’t clear whether it was intentional.

      I think that’s everything I wanted to cover, though. I might check out more of this later. Because, like I said, you’ve done a good job of setting up intrigue and setting up a tense tone, and I want to know more about what’s going on! But for now, I’ll cut the review here. Until next time!