Raichu Recruitment

“Are you dead?”

Andrew felt a sudden jolt of pain run across his stomach, letting out a quiet grunt. 

“Oh, thank Arceus you aren’t dead. Three bodies in one week are too much.”

Andrew pushed himself up from the ground into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes. Opening them revealed a Raichu looming overhead. It held a stick in its left paw and had its head tilted to the left. 

“Where am I?” Andrew asked.

The Raichu’s face lit up with a warm smile. Without warning, it threw the stick it was holding, Only barely missing contact with Andrew’s head.

It began to bombard Andrew with questions, “Is this really happening? I can’t believe it! Are you a human? Where are you from? Do you remember where you’re from? Do you know what Pokemon I am? Is it true you have magic powers?”

“Slow down, I’m not a computer!” Andrew snapped.

“What’s a computer? Is that another human thing? Did I ask if you were human yet?”

Andrew sighed, “Yes, you did. Look, man, I just woke up. I don’t even remember swimming to this beach. Calm down.” 

“So you aren’t a human?” the Raichu said, his smile dissipating. 

Andrew shook his head. He stood up and looked the Raichu in the eyes. “Aright, fine, I’m a human. Are you happy?”

The Raichu’s face lit back up, his tail waving furiously behind him. “If you are human, that means you have nowhere to stay, right?” 

Andrew became stiff, his limbs beginning to feel heavy. What if this guy figures out I’m a criminal? His flippers became glued to his side; a shiver crawled down his back. “No,” he lied, “not anywhere I can think of.”

Well, it’s not like I have any other options, Andrew thought. He brushed a flipper over his head. His heart was beating so fast he almost felt sick. The Raichu kept his wide grin, eagerly awaiting a response. Fighting every new and old instinct telling him not to, Andrew replied with a simple, 

“Okay.”

The Raichu held out its paw to Andrew, “I’m Charlie, I haven’t heard of a human not remembering their name.”

“Oh, right. I’m Andrew,” he reached his flipper to meet Charlie’s paw. They grabbed each other’s limbs and awkwardly moved them up and down. Pitifully emulating a handshake. Upon release, Charlie quickly rubbed his paw on his leg. 

“Sorry, I’ve never shaken a Marshtomp’s hand. Water types can be a little disgusting,” he laughed, squinting his eyes and smiling. 

“Who are you calling disgusting?” rebutted Andrew, his eyes narrowing. 

“Woah, I don’t mean to offend,” Charlie said as he held up his paws. “It isn’t your fault that you’re a Marshtomp.”

Andrew put his head down, “Nobody else called me disgusting.”

Charlie held out his paws and smiled. “Well of course not! I’m the first Pokemon around here you’ve met.” 

“What? No, you aren’t, I’ve already been thrown out of the city.” Andrew said, listing his head. 

Charlie widened his eyes and his smile fell into a frown, “You got banished from Grandeport? Who did you piss off?” 

Andrew froze. He could feel his heart pounding throughout every inch of his body. Crap, what if this Raichu kills criminals? Or humans? Charlie is suspiciously friendly, he worried. Paralyzed, he was only able to force out a meek, “I was just hungry,” before turning away from Charlie. 

But to Andrew’s surprise, the Raichu didn’t bat an eye, “All the more reason to come with me,” he proclaimed. “Nobody starves where I come from!”

“Wait, you’re not mad I got exiled?” Andrew questioned, turning his head back up to Charlie’s gaze.

“Of course not! Everyone commits a few crimes here and there. I took three thousand Poke from the government last week.”

Andrew kicked the sand and tapped his stomach, “Speaking of crimes, I’m hungry.”

“In that case, follow me,” Charlie turned around and began walking away. Prompting Andrew to follow. 

As he had come to expect, the surrounding landscape was stunning. The beach was adjacent to a cliff. The sky above was a bright summer blue, with the sun being a simple yellow ball. Clouds had begun to roll in from the ocean, but even they had a strange beauty to them. They turned onto a stone path that inched up the cliff. Charlie flicked his ears as they began their ascent.

“It kind of makes sense that I wasn’t the first Pokemon you interacted with, considering you didn’t have a mental breakdown. 

“What?” Andrew asked. 

I’ve heard some crazy stories of humans reacting to becoming Pokemon. One of them even jumped off a roof.”

Maybe I should have done that; then they might have taken pity on me. Andrew thought as he curled his flipper into a fist.

“I know I asked you a lot of questions earlier, but at least give me this one,” Charlie continued. “What’s your name?”

“Oh, right! I’m Andrew.”

He stepped onto what appeared to be a stable rock, but it suddenly shifted under his weight. Without warning, the rock gave way just as he lifted his other foot, causing him to lose his balance and fall.

“You okay?” Charlie asked. He stuck out a paw, which Andrew pulled on tightly with his flipper. 

“That’s the first nice thing anyone has done for me since I became a Marshtomp.”

“Don’t mention it. The world would be a lot better with more people like us.” Charlie said as he patted Andrew’s back.

The duo continued scaling the cliff, Andrew catching a brief glimpse of the ocean from above.

“Andrew, there’s something I haven’t told you.”

“I’m sure it’s not a big deal,” he said, waving his flipper.

Charlie stopped abruptly and held out his paw, blocking Andrew from moving any further. 

“It is a big deal. I’m part of the council.”

Andrew swerved around Charlie’s outstretched arm, barely acknowledging it. “Cool. Can we keep walking? I’m still hungry.” 

Charlie grabbed Andrew’s head fin, and forcefully pulled it back. Rippling pain shot through Andrew’s skull. A tear began to well in his eye. Augh! Why do my weak spots have to be so obvious? he thought. Charlie dragged Andrew back towards him. He stopped pulling at the head fin but kept a tight grip on it. 

“I’m sorry, but do you have a death wish? Follow my lead if you value your damn life, Andrew,” Charlie gave Andrew’s fin a tight squeeze, further inflaming the sensitive organ.

Andrew shouted, pushing against Charlie’s torso, “What’s your problem? Let go of me!” 

“I’ll let go of you if you promise to stop and listen to me!” Charlie yelled back, continuing to squeeze Andrew’s fin.

“Fine, just keep your filthy hands off me.”

Charlie released his grasp, wiping his paw on the wall of the cliff, “Filthy? That’s a lot coming from a Marshtomp.”

“What is your problem with Marshtomps?” 

Charlie put his paws in front of his head,and leaned back onto the cliff, “Look, I believe every Pokemon is beautiful, some just more than others.”

He lowered himself onto the ground, leaning back against the cliff’s weathered surface. Sighing, he wiped his paw across his furry forehead. 

“I’m exhausted, are you going to sit down too?”

Across from Charlie, Andrew slid down onto the earth. A small crunching noise emanated from below him as he crushed a small patch of dead leaves. Swinging his flippers behind his head, he rested against the cliff wall.

Charlie’s ears drooped. “I’ve got bad news.”

Andrew took his flippers off from behind his head, and sat up straight. He narrowed his eyes and pointed at Charlie.

“You have bad news for me? What could you possibly tell me to make my situation worse? I woke up days ago to find that I had lost the privilege of being human. Miraculously, I found civilization. But of course, I’m not allowed to have good luck. I got thrown in jail for the crime of borrowing food.”

“Borrowing?” Charlie laughed, throwing his arms in the air.

“Okay stealing? That’s beside the point. They put me on trial, which was run by some crazy judge who hit his head against his desk at least ten times. This guy then exiled me, and that’s why I’m here in the middle of nowhere. What new information are going to tell me? Is there a disease going around that will make my head explode?” 

Charlie’s long tail crawled towards Andrew. The Marshtomp’s eyes followed it closely as it went up to his head. Instinctively, he squeezed his eyes shut. But there was no pain. Instead, he felt Charlie’s tail lightly patting his head. It was a pleasant sensation, sending a nice vibration down his back and through his legs. Andrew failed to hold back a soft smile. 

“Look, I’m sorry you had to go through all that,” Charlie said. “But I have some explaining to do if you’d care to listen.”

Charlie pulled his tail behind him. Andrew leaned back and put his short, stubby legs on top of one another. 

“I’m all ears, not that I know where mine are.” 

“I don’t know either, Andrew,” Charlie sighed. “But that’s not important. So as I was saying, I’m a part of the council. Me and three other Pokemon who help govern the kingdom of Grandeport, along with the king himself.”

Andrew’s eyes widened. If Charlie helps run the country, Maybe this guy can get me unbanished. He hoped. 

“But recently we haven’t been able to do much governing.”

“Why not?”

“To understand that you have to understand what rescue guilds are.

And to understand that you have to understand what mystery dungeons are.

And to understand that you have to understand what dungeon Pokemon are.

And to understand that you have to-”

Andrew interrupted, “I don’t understand what any of those things are.” 

“Well,” Charlie raised his finger in the air, “It’s really quite important.”

“Look man, I’m hungry. Just get to the point.”

“Fine,” Charlie whined, slumping his head to the side. “Rescue guilds are organizations that free  Pokemon trapped in mystery dungeons. They get a lot of respect and admiration around these parts. The guilds have tons of rescuers, more than we have police. So we haven’t been able to do much to enforce our policies if they conflict with the guild.”

“Are the guilds evil, or something?” asked Andrew.

“You tell me. Is charging money to be rescued evil?”

Andrew picked up a rock and began to toss it up and down. “I dunno.”

“Pay attention,” Charlie spat. ”What I’m about to tell you is important.”

“Alright, fine. I’m listening,” Andrew said, turning his gaze back to Charlie’s.

“The guilds have been powerful entities for far longer than I’ve been alive. And they do take the burden of scouring through dungeons off the hands of the police. But, this is a new thing. The king and council had undisputed authority in Grandeport until a few years ago.”

“Oh, did they now?” mocked Andrew. He picked up another rock and crushed it to bits, effortlessly. 

Charlie hissed, “Yes, we did. Until these strange, new Pokemon started appearing, calling themselves human.”

Andrew turned away from Charlie, his heart beginning to beat harder. Is Charlie some sort of human hater? Is there a single person in this damn world who doesn’t want to kill me? Andrew’s eyes bulged out of his skull, and his flippers began to shake.

“Calm down, Andrew, I only hate humans who work for the guilds,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes.

Oh, how relieving. Andrew thought sarcastically, his movements beginning to cease. 

“Plus, it’s not like you like the guilds. They kicked you out of the city for only borrowing some food!”

Charlie broke out into laughter, kicking his legs in the air as he rocked back and forth. Andrew looked back at him with a blank face.

“Very funny.”

Charlie’s laughs began to subside, as he repositioned himself against the cliff. 

“I didn’t waste my time telling you this for no reason. I have a proposition that you simply won’t be able to turn down.”

Maintaining his blank expression, Andrew leaned close to Charlie and said quietly, “I’m listening.”

“Andrew, I would like you to become a member of the royal police force. 

“What’s that?”

Charlie lightly hit his face with his paw, “Ugh, it’s the law enforcement of the king. I thought that was self-explanatory.” 

Andrew stood up and brushed bits of dust and rock. “Look, I don’t know anything anymore. Could you imagine waking up one day and being this? I’m barely even a real Pokemon! Give me some time to think about it.” 

The duo sat in silence for several minutes. Charlie fidgeted with his tail as Andrew stared up at clouds beginning to blanket the horizon. Eventually, he put his flippers on his head and said, “Sorry, but I don’t want anything to do with the royal police.”

Charlie got up and put a paw on Andrew’s shoulder. “C’mon Andrew, with your magic human powers, the police force could be unstoppable. You could put the guilds back in their place.”

“I don’t want to be part of the police force! I have enough to deal with,” Andrew yelled, throwing Charlie’s paw off his shoulder. 

Andrew began to storm away from Charlie, stomping against the stony ground. But felt a pressure tighten around his leg after he was only a few feet away. He slowly turned his gaze to the ground. A familiar tail was coiled around his left leg, and it was beginning to constrict. Suddenly, Charlie laid both his paws on Andrew’s shoulders. Without  Andrew pushed as hard as he could against Charlie. Only to send them both tumbling to the ground. 

Charlie’s tail became tighter, beginning to cut circulation from Andrew’s leg.

“Let go of me you maniac!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. 

Charlie laughed, “Oh, Andrew. Silly Marshtomp.” His voice quickly escalated to a yell, “You don’t get to say no. Do you know how long we’ve been searching for a human recruit? Three whole months!”

“That’s not very long,” Andrew quipped. 

“Shut up! I am one of the most powerful Pokemon in the Kingdom of Grandeport. You saw the guilds stepping out of line with your own eyes. You are going to help the government maintain what it rightfully owns, whether you want to or not.”

“I don’t owe you anything,” Andrew scoffed. Charlie tightened his tail as much as he could around Andrew’s leg, covering it entirely in black.

“You know what, Andrew? I’ve had too many sleepless nights wondering if the guilds will overthrow us and take off my head. And by some stroke of luck, a human washes up on the beach ten minutes away from the royal palace. Was it divine intervention? Simply a coincidence? Either way, you have no right to refuse such a generous offer.”

He did promise me free food and he seems pretty desperate. Perhaps I can make this work. Andrew thought. A devilish grin overtook his face. 

“You know what?” Andrew said calmly. “I’ll join your royal police force.”

Charlie’s face lit up. “You will?”

“Under a few conditions, of course,” Andrew said, clasping his flippers together. 

“Alright, I’m listening,” Charlie said with a hint of suspicion as he narrowed his eyes. He kept his tail tight around Andrew’s leg.

“Do I get paid?”

“Yes. You’ll make 50 Poke a day,” Charlie said, slightly loosening his tail.

Andrew kicked his free leg against the ground, creating a small dust cloud that drifted with the wind.

“Is that a lot of money around here?”

“It’s enough to pay rent and live comfortably. So do you accept the offer?”

Andrew turned his head away from Charlie. Am I forgetting something? Oh right! 

“One last thing, Charlie. I’m going to need you to lift my ban from Grandeport.” 

Charlie released Andrew’s leg, curling his tail behind his back. “Alright,” he sighed. “But it’s going to take a few weeks to get it through the system.”

“Make it happen in a day.”

Charlie threw up his arms, “These things take time. Be grateful I’m even offering you a job. You’d starve without me.” 

“But I thought you were an all-powerful government official?” Andrew said smugly, displaying a wide smirk.

“Fine. We’ll have it done by the end of the day if you take the job. Do we have a deal?” Charlie stuck out his paw. Andrew grasped it and brandished a warm smile. 

He tightened his grasp around Charlie’s paw and pulled him closer. “Oh, and last thing.”

“What?”

“Don’t wipe your hand off for a little while,” Andrew said.

Without any further remarks, Charlie turned and began hiking up the cliff. Andrew followed close behind. Not needing to focus on Charlie, Andrew had an opportunity to admire the natural landscape. The rock that made up the cliff was a striking crimson red. Short trees and long leafy vines grew throughout the clifftops. The familiar scent of damp grass filled Andrew’s nostrils. Almost like I’m back home. Almost… He thought. 

The rest of the journey was mostly silent and uneventful. Exhaustion began to set in for Andrew, his legs beginning to feel like jelly. But he progressed nonetheless. The only noise was of the wind blowing overhead, and the occasional unintelligible murmur from Charlie. The cliff wall began to level with the ground after another fifteen minutes of ascending the path. A large, gray castle loomed in the distance.

As they got closer, Andrew was able to see the sheer scale of the structure. Five large towers protruded from its base. He felt a dizzy spell come upon him after turning his head up to look at the tallest spire. 

“I’ll do the talking. Don’t say anything about being a human,” Charlie said quietly as they approached the structure’s entrance. 

“Stop right there!” a voice yelled.

Blocking a large wooden door was a Riolu and Vulpix. The Riolu stood with his arms crossed, and the Vulpix leaned forward slightly, looking ready to lunge at the pair.

“State your business,” sneered the Riolu, pointing his paw.

Charlie cleared his throat, “I work here. I would appreciate it if you let me inside.”

“Oh, I don’t know if we can do that, Charlie.” The Vulpix scoffed, tilting her head. “We probably shouldn’t be letting in random Pokemon you find passed out on the beach. Do I have to remind you of what happened last week?”

“What happened last week?” questioned Andrew.

The Riolu grinned, “He brought this Luxray which nearly electrocuted half the people inside the palace. I heard Mirage yelling for hours at him.”

“I thought I told you to shut up!” Charlie and the Vulpix said simultaneously, each looking at their respective partners.

The Vulpix stomped her paw on the ground. “Look, I’ll let you in. But if anyone asks, that Marshtomp snuck in through the sewers. Alright?”

“Sure,” Charlie said with a deadpan expression.

The Vulpix jumped and shot a fireball into the air. The doors of the castle began to slowly creek open, releasing a large, grating sound. There seemed to be nothing: the interior being nearly pitch black.

“We should really get that fixed,” the RIolu said dryly. 

Seeing Charlie making his way inside, Andrew followed. He could feel his heart drop to his stomach as the doors closed loudly behind him. Leaving him in complete darkness.