Ofishal Business

Light beamed in through the windows beside Andrew, illuminating the room with an almost heavenly glow. He let out a long yawn and climbed off of the couch chair. A month had passed since his promotion to Chief of Police, and things had been relatively uneventful. 

A typical day for Andrew started with waking up in the fireplace room which he claimed as his own. Quickly stuffing a berry down his throat and trudging his way to the castle. Upon arrival there was little work to be done outside signing the occasional paper or sitting in a boring meeting with little known Pokemon.. 

Just before sunset, Andrew would make the journey back home. He would eat dinner and chat for several hours with Thomas. After a long day of hard work, he would sink back into the comfy chairs of the fireplace room before drifting off to sleep. And then over again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Andrew skipped into the kitchen, his favorite neon green berry waiting for him on a pale white plate. “Thomas, I have an announcement!” He proclaimed.

“Oh, what might that be?” Thomas asked while taking small bites of a star-shaped purple fruit. 

“Yesterday I collected my third paycheck, meaning I am now worth fifteen hundred whole dollars.”

Thomas tilted his head. “What’s a dollar?”

“Uh, I mean Poke.” Andrew tugged at his bowtie. “Now, I really appreciate what you’ve done for me. I don’t know anyone else that would let me live with them for as long as you have. But I think I’m gonna start looking into getting my own house.” 

The Servine smiled, his lips twitching on either end. Witheyes squeezed shut ,muffled laughter began to escape his mouth. Andrew took a step back and scowled. Why is he laughing? Did I say something crazy? “Thomas, what’s going on?”

He began to settle down, coughing up a chunk of a half-chewed berry. “I’m sorry about that. Not sure what came over me, but fifteen hundred Poke? Do you think you can get a house with that kind of money in this city? You’d maybe rent a house and starve, but you’re definitely not buying one. Look, Andrew, I’m happy to have you here. Don’t worry about getting your own place.”

I can’t mooch off you forever man… Andrew sighed. “Say what you want, but I’m still gonna start looking for places. I’m off to work. See you later.”

Thomas nodded, watching the Marshtomp exit into the swirling autumn air.

---

“He said I couldn’t afford a house with fifteen hundred Poke!” Fifteen hundred! Surely I can at least get a studio apartment!” Andrew waved his flippers around yelling. 

Charlie sat next to him, a paw up to his chin. “He’s not wrong, that money isn’t going to go very far if you want to live in the city of Grandeport. You could maybe rent a place a dozen miles away.”

“But you said I’d have enough money to pay rent, on the standard police officer’s salary!”

He smirked, “I didn’t specify where.”

“What am I gonna do? I can’t stay with Thomas forever!” Andrew groaned, throwing his head back.

“Perhaps we could be of assistance?”

Both turned their heads and were met with a Heatmor and Porygon-Z. Each was decked with a green bandanna tied around their heads. Andrew shuddered, feeling the Porygon-Z’s bright yellow eyes staring into his own. Charlie raised his paw and glared at them. “What do you sycophants want?”

The Heatmor spoke in a feminine voice. “We mean no harm. I’m Amaya, and my companion here is Augustin. We are both captains. You may remember us from the meeting several days ago.”

“Yeah, I uh, totally remember you guys.” He scratched the back of his head-fin. “So, what’s this about assistance?” 

She approached him, stopping only a few inches away. “There’s a new set of policies we’ve been advocating for, and we need all the support we can get. As the chief, we think your signature could be valuable. Even if your power is… limited.”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I’m very busy. My afternoon wandering starts in fifteen minutes.” 

Amaya curled her claw into a fist. “Afternoon wandering?” 

“Yes, where I wander aimlessly around the castle grounds for an hour.” Andrew raised his flipper and looked down at it as if checking a watch.

Amaya remained unfazed. “I assure you this is worth your time, Mister Marshtomp. We happened to overhear that you are in a bit of a predicament when it comes to lodging.” 

He furrowed his brow. “Alright, I’m listening.”

“If you were to agree to our proposed changes, we can probably find you some high-quality inexpensive housing,” Amaya remarked as she clasped her paws together.

“How inexpensive?”

She narrowed her eyes and bore a slick, wide grin. “Fifteen hundred Poke, give or take.” 

“How about free? You should treat your chief with some respect!” Charlie yelled while literally getting between Andrew and Amaya.

He elbowed the Raichu. “The hell are you doing?”

“Helping you out,” he snapped back.

Amaya took a step back, glaring at Charlie. “It’s no problem. We can work something out, come with us. I’ve already got a place in mind that you might enjoy.”

The Heatmor motioned for Andrew to follow, to which he obliged. The Porygon-Z floated next to him. Charlie trailed behind, stomping against the wooden floor. Jeez? What’s his problem? People start offering me good things and he feels jealous? Just my luck.

They promptly exited the castle and went onto the dirt trail. It had become nearly impossible to differentiate from the forest floor, all coated in crunchy colorful leaves. Not sure I’d be able to use this path if I had become a Pokemon for the first time today. He had for the most part grown used to the strong winds, having more natural insulation than he did as a human. 

The main street of Grandeport was still busy as ever. Pokemon bustled to and from familiar wooden stands. Selling all sorts of fruits, pastries, accessories, and other miscellaneous goods. The group twisted and turned until they were in another residential area Andrew had yet to step foot in.

Unlike the other parts of the city, the neighborhood seemed fairly desolate, with greenery occupying more space than houses. There wasn’t much consistency between architecture or size.. A small yellow home sat nestled in between large pine trees. Next door was a series of connected houses, not unlike the ones in Thomas’ neighborhood.

Amaya stopped in front of a large white home. The door was a dark red and canopied by a spacious porch with a few chairs and benches. Two large windows faced the cobblestone street. Though one was partially obscured by a leafless tree branch. The house appeared to be three stories tall, and Andrew noticed square wood paneling upon closer inspection.

“Here’s the place!” Amaya said, putting her claws on her hips. “Your future home. Nice, isn’t it?”

Andrew admired the neatly trimmed yard in front. “Yeah, it looks pretty cool. How much is it selling for?”

She laughed. “This place is off the market. We’re giving you a special deal.” Augustin faced him, eyes unblinking. Why is he looking at me like that? Is that stupid duck judging me?

Amaya banged on the door, yelling. “Police! Open up! I know what you’ve been up to Chris!”

“He didn’t do anything wrong! Get lost!” A voice cried from inside.

“I said open the damn door! Before I burn this whole place down!” 

Hey! I need this house to not be ash when I move in!

A Mandibuzz answered the door. Her eyes were bloodshot, and a scowl was carved into her beak. “Show me a warrant or stay away from my house!”

Amaya shot forward and bulldozed her, as the others tentatively followed inside. Andrew noticed berry juice stains everywhere he looked. White couch? Stained. Countertop? Stained. Every wall in sight? Stained. I was hoping for a clean house…

“Get on the ground! Where’s Chris?” Amaya yelled, shoving the Mandibuzz onto the floor. The house shook as she lost her balance and smacked the ground. “Where is he?”

“Mommy?” A high-pitched voice asked from behind them. 

Swinging his head around, Andrew found a Farfetch’d only half his height. A leek was clutched like a stuffed animal within her wings. A crystal blue tear slipped from the bird Pokemon’s eye as she rubbed her head against the leak.

“Mommy, what’s going on?” The girl asked her mother, who was still struggling to break Amaya’s hold.

The Mandibuzz stared at her child with wide eyes. She tried to claw away from Amaya, grasping against the stained wooden floor. But it was no use. Amaya’s claws pierced into her skin and kept her pinned down. “Cindy, run!” she screamed.

The Farfetch’d bolted toward the door with the leek still pressed tight against her feathers. But before she could reach it, Augustin dashed right into her path. The girl shrieked as she jolted away, but in her panic ran right into a wall. She looked up at Augustin and began to wail in pain and fear, a river flowing from her eyes. Augustin simply loomed over her and stared down.

Oh no, please no.

“Where’s Chirs? If you don’t start talking I’m gonna start burning.” 

Desperate, the Mandibuzz helplessly banged against the floor with her wings. “He’s not here! He’s not here, Arceus damnit! Get out of my house you psychos!”

Well, at least I’m not the only one who’s been called a psycho by a crazy mother.

Amaya removed her claw from the Mandibuzz’s back. Blood began to ooze out, flowing down her sides and forming a large red puddle on the floor. A small stream split off and trickled toward Cindy. It splashed against her foot, staining it red. The child’s crying reached a crescendo. 

Andrew’s flippers found their way to his head. Pulling against his skin, thoughts began to rush through his mind. What’s happening? Why is she on the floor? Should I help that kid? Who’s Chris? Is somebody about to get murdered? Am I going to have to clean this place up myself? His breaths became heavy, having to try harder and harder to cram just a little bit of air into his lungs. No! Make this stop! He squeezed his eyes shut, but opening them revealed only the same horrific scene. 

“You want me to leave? You want me to stop coming for you?” Amaya yelled. “Then get out of this house and never come back! You hear me?”

The Mandibuzz craned her neck and locked eyes with her captor. Amaya smiled the same devilish grin that she made what felt like only moments ago when offering him the house. “You’ll leave if you love your children.” She whispered. 

The Heatmor lifted her other claw out of the Mandibuzz’s back. It was stained a solid blood red. The Farfetch’d got back up, shaking as she locked eyes with Amaya. 

“Honey, we’re going to go for a bit. Does that sound okay?” She cooed, approaching her daughter and holding her wing.

Cindy nodded. The two crept out of their home, neither bothering nor daring to turn for one final glance. The door shut softly behind them. Only a faint crack echoed throughout the otherwise now eerily silent house.  

Andrew approached Charlie. The Raichu stood in a corner tossing the tip of his tail from paw to paw. Not even bothering to look up. Andrew smiled, before squeezing his gills and yelling.

“What the fuck?”

---

 

Charlie tapped his foot against the leg of his desk. A strew of papers decorated its surface, being marked with various notes and writings. Andrew caught a glimpse of one which said Andrew = Friend, prompting a smirk. He, Amaya, and Augustin all sat hunched around Charlie watching the Raichu as he inspected the document that Amaya had provided. 

He leaned back and placed his feet up on the desk, causing a few pages to fly about the room. One landed right into Amaya’s face. 

“Sorry about the space, Mirage purposely gave me the worst office in the building.” 

She cleared her throat, “So Charlie, do you approve of Andrew reading the reforms?”

“I don’t know, this is some pretty heavy stuff.” He smirked, waving the paper in front of her.

“It’s three paragraphs.” Amaya rebutted.

Andrew stood up and slammed his flippers on the desk. “I’m right here! I’m not sitting through another ten minutes of your bickering! Give me the damn paper!”

“Yeesh, someone’s feisty.” He snatched the paper from Charlie’s paw.

Proposed Policing and Search Reforms

Captain Amaya Heatmor

Captain Augustin Porygon-Z

CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT: THIS MAY ONLY BE VIEWED BY THOSE WITH LEVEL FIVE CLEARANCE

“Do I have level five clearance?”

Charlie shrugged. “Who’s gonna stop you? The police?”

“Fair enough,” he murmured.

The Police of the Grandeport city region shall no longer require warrants of any kind to perform searches if there is a risk posed by any Pokemon(s) as delegated by an officer.  

“Didn’t we just raid a house without a warrant? Why is this here?” Andrew questioned.

Amaya laughed, a hint of nervousness present. “Oh, you know. Just formalizing what is already standard procedure.”

“Alright…” Andrew murmured with eyes narrowed.

Police should no longer be held accountable under circumstances including but not limited to:

• False imprisonment
• False searches
• Injuring of a suspect
• Killing a suspect
• Property damage
• Blah blah blah
• Blah blah blah blah blah
• If I sign this I get a free house

He placed the paper down. “Charlie, do the Grandeport Police have a history of doing bad things?”

“I have never witnessed a police officer do anything that wasn’t justified. Then again, I very rarely witness police officers.”

Andrew turned to Amaya, the Heatmor having a neutral expression on her face. “If I agree to support this, do you promise you will only use these laws in good faith? And most importantly, do you promise you’ll pay for someone to clean up that house?”

“You’re asking for a lot, I don’t know.” She replied while placing a claw on her chin.

“Do you want me to sign it or not?”

She humphed, “Fine.”

“Hold up, I have a pencil in here somewhere.” Charlie began rummaging through his desk. Flinging open drawers and creating a shower of notes throughout the cramped space. 

“Here we are!” A perfectly sharpened round yellow pencil sat clenched in his paw, practically begging to be written with.

Andrew took the pencil, poking it against his finger to test its sharpness. He adjusted his position and lowered the pencil down to the paper right next to a spot that proudly proclaimed, SIGN HERE.

Pushing down, a small tail of gray followed its tip. A… 

The pencil raised back up to the air, only to come back down a second later. N…

His eyes felt heavy. Andrew yawned before scribbling right next to the letter he had just ingrained. D…

“Can you hurry up?” Amaya snapped. “We don’t have all day!”

Andrew shot her a glare. Before quickly writing, R, E, and… 

An unfamiliar but deep voice called out, “Stop!”

He dropped the pencil and looked up. Who said that? I thought I was supposed to write faster. Panning the room, the Marshtomp saw no new faces.

“I’m talking to you, Andrew!”

The voice sounded from his left. Turning his head, he was met with Augustin. Arms crossed and eyes narrowed. “Hello?” The Porygon-Z waved his strange pink arm in front of Andrew’s face. “Are you deaf?”

“What is it?” He scowled, shoving Augustin’s arm away.

The Porygon-Z snatched the page from the desk. “Do you understand what you’re doing? Did you read every clause on the reform?”

“Uh, yeah,” Andrew replied, tapping his fingers against the desk. “Can I sign it now?”

He slammed his fist on the desk. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I’ll get free housing.”

Augustin sighed and handed the page back to Andrew. “You shouldn’t do this, this whole thing is insane. It won’t lower crime. But I am not going to stop you now, am I?”

“No…” Andrew trailed off. “I don’t think so.” He brought the pencil back down to the paper and wrote the W. Leaving the name Andrew written neatly on the document. “Here you go,” Andrew said. Handing it to Amaya. 

“You aren’t gonna write your species name?”

“Oh, right.” He took the paper back.

Augustin yelled. “Augh! Stop! Can’t you realize this is wrong?”

“You put your name on the paper! What right do you have to criticize me?” Andrew yelled, slamming down on the desk.

“Cut it out, guys! You hit this thing one more time and it’ll snap in half.” Charlie barked.

Augustin grabbed the back of Andrew’s neck, squeezing tightly and bringing the Marshotmp’s head to his own. “Don’t do this! You must hear my plea!”

He pushed the Porygon-Z away, creating a few feet of distance between them. “Man, calm down. I don’t have any real authority.”

“But-”

“Augustin!” Amaya shouted. “What have I said about only speaking when spoken to?”

He groaned loudly, throwing his arms up in the air. “But, do I not have a point? Why mustn’t my opinion be heard? Why?”

“Take a breather,” Charlie ordered as he narrowed his eyes. 

Augustin crossed his arms and pointed his snout into the air. He began hovering out of the room, swishing his tail back and forth causing even more papers to swirl.

“Geez, what’s his problem?” The Raichu hopped off his chair and began snatching papers from the floor. “I hate it when people come and ruin my perfectly organized office.”

Andrew got up and picked up a few more papers, handing them to Charlie. “I should probably be leaving now. I have some aimless wandering to do.”

“Yeah, I should probably get back to work. And make sure Augustin doesn’t run off or say something stupid.” Amaya chuckled. “You know how he is.” The Heatmor winked at them before strutting out of the room. Calling, “Augustin!” over and over.

“Well then.” Charlie sighed. “Can I join in on your wandering?”

---

The afternoon air brought more warmth than that of the morning. While chilly winds still blew, Andrew found it to be far more bearable. But such things did not prevent Charlie from wanting ice cream. Its existence was an odd but pleasant surprise to Andrew, who was more than happy when Charlie offered to purchase some for the both of them.

“This ice cream really makes me think, Charlie.”

The Raichu took a greedy lick of his snow-white ice cream. “Yeah, me too.”

“No, seriously.” Andrew made his way over to a wooden bench on the side of the road. “I haven’t told you much about the human world.”

“True.”

He took a bite of his cone, sugary goodness flooding his mouth. “I just don’t know where to start. There isn’t too much in common, but one thing we both have is ice cream. And something about that just makes me feel strange but also kind of good. It’s complicated.”

“No, I get it. If I woke up as something else, I’d probably have handled it way worse than you have.” Charlie put his arm over Andrew’s shoulder. “But hey! At least you got me.”

Andrew couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, this whole thing has given me the chance to meet some interesting people. I mean, Pokemon. Still, I can’t help but wonder. Is my luck absolutely amazing, or absolutely horrible?”

“Who knows? Who cares?” Charlie slurped up the last of his ice cream, cramming the cone into his mouth. 

Andrew’s smile fell flat. I care, but not like I’m gonna be getting anything insightful from you. 

“So Andrew, what do we do now?”

A small drop of melted ice cream trickled down his cheek and onto his bowtie. I need an excuse to wash this thing anyways. “Not sure. I usually don’t go this far from the castle.”

“Oh! My! Arceus!” A shrill voice seared through the noise of the crowd. A Chikorita began running toward Andrew, looking more like a green blur than a living Pokemon. He skidded to a stop right in front of them. Bouncing up and down as if he had just won the lottery. 

“Are you Andrew Marshtomp?”

His eyes darted from side to side. “Uh, yeah. Do I know you?”

“You don’t know me… But I know you!” He squealed. “Is it true you became police chief after only a month? Is it true that you can talk to Arceus?”

Andrew tilted his head. “Talk to Arceus?”

“Yeah!”

He chuckled, “I’m still working on that one.”

“Can I have your autograph?”

Andrew scooched back in his seat. “Do you like, have paper or something?”

“Oh, I don’t.” The Chikorita said with heavy sadness, putting his head down. “I’m sorry mister Andrew. I should have known better!”

Tears began to flow from his eyes, the Chikorita slamming his feet against the cobblestone before falling down and rolling over. A few Pokemon stopped to observe with bewilderment stuck to their snouts and faces. Oh my god. I can’t deal with two meltdowns in one day. 

“Wait! Don’t cry.” Andrew undid his bowtie and wiped off the ice cream. He held it out to the crying Chikorita. “Would you like this?”

The child got back up, a shimmer seeming to permeate his large red eyes. “R-Really?”

“It’s all yours.”

He snatched the bandanna from Andrew’s flipper and began bouncing up and down. A wide smile spread across his face as if nothing had happened. “Thank you, mister Andrew.” The Chikorita bolted away from them. Leaving their sight as fast as he had come. 

“What just happened?” He asked, gawking at Charlie.

“Andrew.” The Raichu turned to him with a deadpan expression. “I have literally no idea.”

---

Andrew sat at his desk, tapping his fingers against its hard surface. A soft clacking filled the room. Empty bookshelves lined the dark brown paneled walls, and a large window let the sky flow in from behind. The evening’s last sunlight seemed to dance from finish to finish. 

He turned to the window, seeing a collage of pink and orange overhead. And a shining yellow ball slowly disappeared over a tree-covered horizon. I should probably get going. Thomas promised me we would bake cookies tonight. 

Standing up, he pushed his chair beneath his desk. Andrew raised a flipper as a yawn escaped his mouth. But before he could exit, a light knock came from the door. 

“Come in.”

Felicia opened the door, poking her blue and black head into the office. “Good evening Andrew. Mirage would like to speak with you.”

“Uh, alright. I was just on my way out.” He creaked the door open and approached the Lucario. “I assume you know where he is?”

She spoke softly. “Yes, follow me.”

Felicia led him down one of the castle’s typical seemingly endless hallways. It was colored sky blue with identical white doors on either side. Toward the end, the corridor began to expand. Ending with two large dark brown doors about three times his height. They curved at the top, forming a semicircle shape. 

She pushed the doors open, nodding to Andrew before making her way back down the hall. He stepped through into another one of the many overly elaborate chambers.

The ceiling seemed almost as high as the one in the guild, his eyes barely being able to register its top. It arced inward as it got taller before ending in a single point at the top. Similar to a church or cathedral. The walls seemed to span at least twenty feet in every direction, though most of the space remained unoccupied. 

In the center of the room sat none other than the King himself. Resting on an enormous purple pillow on all fours. The cushion was surrounded by a stream of water, supplied by a waterfall coming from the ceiling only a few feet behind. Two lit golden torches sat on either side of Mirage. Helping to illuminate the massive room.

“Please take a seat.”

Andrew walked over to the pillow. “Where exactly?”

“On the floor.”

The Marshtomp sat down cross-legged on the cold stony floor, Mirage looking down upon him.

He yawned, standing up and shooting a fierce glare at Andrew. “Lovely evening we’re having, isn’t it?”

“I guess. Pretty nice sunset.”

“Not like I would know, considering my throne room’s lack of windows,” Mirage said, ears drooping slightly.

Throne room? You’re telling me that giant pillow is a throne? You built this giant castle, and all you put in it was a purple pillow? Andrew bit his tongue as laughter tried to force its way out of his mouth.

“Anyways, you may be wondering why I brought you here.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sure. Enlighten me.”

“I have been made aware that you, two police captains, and of course Charlie went and searched a house without a warrant.” Mirage sneered as his tone increased in volume. “And one of these captains attacked a mother in front of her child! All on your watch!”

“Aren’t I supposed to be a ceremonial leader or some crap?”

Mirage leaped off the pillow, just barely missing colliding with Andrew. He could feel the Ninetails’ hot breath brush against his head. “Some crap?” He yelled louder, “Some crap? Do you know how much importance your position holds? Andrew, you are doing the one thing you are supposed to not be doing. Making us look bad!”

“Making us look bad?”

“Do you know what kind of message it sends to the people when you participate in unwarranted attacks? It makes them think the police can’t be trusted! Do you have any understanding of how horrible it would be for us if this gets out?” Mirage paused as his tongue fell from his mouth. The old Pokemon began to pant.

Andrew’s eyes had gone wide, and his position had moved back by several feet. His heart raced fast and his flippers were held blocking his face. Please don’t kill me! It wasn’t my fault! I’m not the one who controls people!

“I apologize, I may have gotten carried away.” Andrew uncovered his eyes to find Mirage kneeling beside him. “In the stories I’ve read, this is usually the part where I’d say that you remind me of myself when I was younger. But you are so very different.”

Andrew let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I understand that.”

“Perhaps if Arceus had chosen you to be hatched into royalty you would be well-mannered, but such is life.” Mirage sighed. “At least tell me why you chose to sanction the search.”

“They’re gonna give me the house.”   

His face fell into a scowl, “What?” He snapped.

Andrew held his flippers in front of him. “Look, I need my own place to live.”

“Just buy a house!”

“Are you serious?” Andrew hollered while throwing his head back.

Mirage stood back up. “Yes! You opted to take a bribe instead of spending your own money! Why shouldn’t I fire you right now?”

“Uh…”

“You’re on thin ice. I value having a former human around, and I think your work with the Rime investigation was impressive. But you’ve already had two incidents and it’s only been a month since you became police chief. I expect better of you, even if you come from humble beginnings.” Mirage sighed again, walking back to his oversized pillow.

Andrew smirked. “When I was a human, I ruled over several trillion people and owned thirty-eight castles.”  

“I’m sure,” Mirage remarked sarcastically. “Now go back to wherever you go when you’re not here. Next we meet, it should be because of your exceptional work.”

“What work? I still don’t have any power!” Andrew yelled.

“Get out.”

He narrowed his eyes before turning around. The Marshtomp hastily strutted toward the oversized exit. He turned to face Mirage and winked, slamming the door shut as he calmly meandered down the strange monotonous hallway. 

Man, who would have thought stupidly old rich Pokemon actually suck?