Fishy Treatment

Darkness. 

Andrew found himself trapped in a purely black void, devoid of any detail or obstruction. A cool breeze blew throughout the area. He began walking forward with no destination, only determined to find some sort of break in the room’s modernity. Suddenly, he brushed up against something soft. What could this be? 

Andrew began to run his flipper across the fluffy surface, pondering why such an out-of-place object could be there. It felt softer and softer the more he rubbed it. A slight grin overtook his face despite the lack of light. 

“Andrew is that you?” Charlie hollered. “Get your filthy paws off me! We’ve only known each other for a few hours!”

Realizing his mistake Andrew stumbled away from Charlie, holding up his flippers in the darkness. Repeating, “Sorry,” as graciously as he could. 

Charlie yelled, “Could somebody turn on the damn lights?” He stomped his feet on the ground several times, causing loud creeks to sound from beneath him. Additionally, Andrew began to hear soft giggling coming from above. Turning his head upward did not reveal anything other than the same darkness he was surrounded by. 

“Mia, I am not doing this again! Turn on the lights or I’m docking your pay!” Charlie called out into the void. 

The room went completely silent for a second before a soft feminine voice from above echoed. “Ugh, you’re no fun.” 

In an instant, light occupied every inch of the room. Forcing Andrew to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. He saw the tail of a Fletchling disappear through a corridor as he began to open them. The room was oversized and ornate. A chandelier hung in the center of the room, and oil lamps lined the walls and ceiling. The floor was made of dark wood and was mostly covered by a patterned red carpet. Marble pillars stood in front of a winding stairwell in the center of the room. Andrew panned his head around, only to find the space devoid of any Pokemon but Charlie. 

“Pretty fancy, right?” Charlie asked with a smug look on his face. 

Andrew tilted his head up to gaze at the tall ceiling. “I guess so.” 

Charlie brought his paw up to his head and cleared his throat. “If we are going to get your exile revoked so soon, we are going to have to speak with the rest of the other council members. And they are super pissed at me right now.”

Andrew stared at Charlie blankly, “Okay?”

“Which means that you will have to pretend that you are a nice Pokemon.” 

“I’m a nice person! Well, a nice Pokemon.” Andrew snapped, throwing his flippers into the air. 

Charlie crossed his arms. “Nice Pokemon don’t take advantage of those less fortunate than them.”

“I am literally homeless, Charlie.”

Charlie turned his back to Andrew. “Well, I’m metaphorically homeless.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. Now facing Charlie’s back, he noticed a large patch of discolored wet fur. Feeling his mouth curl into a smile, Andrew covered it with a flipper to suppress his laughter. However, it was no use. Charlie turned back around with a wide scowl. 

“Is something funny, Andrew?”

The Marshtomp burst with laughter, nearly falling onto the floor. Charlie hardened his paws into fists and continued to look at him. 

“Are you done? It’s not like this is my fault.”

Regaining his composure, Andrew wiped his forehead. Causing a small bit of excess water to splash onto the ground. After which he pulled his arms behind his back.

“Lead the way, Charlie.”

He turned back around and began walking toward the stairs. Andrew followed behind, still soaking in the views of the empty room. They made their way toward the twisting stairwell. Each stair was about half of Andrew’s height. This looks fun! He thought sarcastically. 

Charlie sighed and looked up. “This usually takes a while. I hope you’re in shape.”

“I swam a mile in ten minutes the other day, I can handle a few stairs.”  

Charlie shrugged and hopped onto the first step. Andrew followed, doing so with relative ease. 

“See? No problem!” He said as he leaped up another stair. 

However, exhaustion soon began to set in. Andrew found himself sitting down after going up only a few more stairs. His breathing had become loud, grasping for as much air possible with each breath. 

Charlie looked down on him. “Yeah, no problem Andrew!”

“Look, my body was designed for swimming. It isn’t good for much else.” Andrew said, narrowing his eyes.

“I am not entertaining your self-pity. Get up and stop trying to guilt me, it won’t work.” 

Andrew got back up and raised his flippers. “I’m not trying to guilt you!” 

“I’m not fighting about this with you. Keep climbing.”

Andrew got back up and glared at Charlie. They continued their ascent up the stairs. Not able to reach the banister, Andrew clutched the polls which held it up for support. After an exhausting fifteen minutes, they finally made it to the second floor. 

Upon making contact with level ground, both Charlie and Andrew tumbled onto the floor. Both panting with exhaustion. 

“Fine, we can take a break,” Charlie said, rolling onto his back. 

Andrew lay down. The ceiling had grown closer, but still seemed miles above what he could ever hope to reach. The dark ceiling was decorated with intricate patterns. Repeating swirling lines and shapes seemed to cover every inch. 

Charlie sat up. “The council meeting room is just down the hall. The other members are probably all there. They never leave.”

“What was up with the lights earlier?” said Andrew, still motionless. 

“Oh that’s just Mia, we pay her to shut off the lights when nobody is around. I heard it helps conserve resources, or something.” Charlie pointed to an oil lamp mounted to the ceiling. 

Andrew sat up, scratching the back of his head fin. “She acted like a five-year-old.”

“She isn’t very mature. I’d usually expect better from a ten-year-old, but what can you do?” Charlie shrugged. 

“Is she employed here?” Andrew asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Yeah, what about it? Better than working in the mines,” Charlie scoffed. He stood up, “Anyways, we should probably go get your exile revoked.”

And I thought Earth was bad. Obeying Charlie’s request, Andrew stood up. Wobbling a little on his stubby legs.

The hallway was surrounded by dark green walls on either side. Brown uniform doors stood across from each other on either side. Oil lamps lined spaces in between, lighting every inch of the visible area. The corridor reminded Andrew of the jail he had been in the other day. 

After strolling down the monotonous hallway for a few minutes, Charlie stopped in front of one of the doors. A plaque was mounted just above the handle with the number 684. Stretching his arm, Charlie was able to reach the knob and open the door. 

The council room was oddly mundane. The walls were windowless and it was only furnished by a table, a few chairs, and a map hanging on the wall across from the door. A Gallade, Lucario, and Tyrantrum were huddled around a stack of papers on the table. Without looking up the Gallade spoke in a masculine voice, 

“What are you doing here?” 

Charlie pointed at the group. “You had another meeting without telling me? How predictable.”

He held his finger out for another few seconds waiting for somebody to respond. After what seemed like an eternity the Gallade stood up and sighed. “Who do we have here? Charlie, is this another one of your beach Pokemon?”

Charlie walked over to the table and glanced at one of the papers. “It doesn’t matter where I found him. He’s a human!” 

“He’s a human?” the Lucario yelled as she stood up as well. “Aren’t they all? What makes this Marshtomp any different?” 

“Felicia, please!” Charlie said, walking over to her. “I assure you this Marshtomp is not like the last Pokemon I brought to you.”

Felicia crossed her arms. “Prove to us that he isn’t insane.” 

Andrew stepped into the room, “Well, I’m pretty sure I’m not insane. Unless nobody else sees the Lucario I am talking to? In which case I very much am.”

Felicia walked over to Andrew. She closed her eyes and held out a paw. He took a step back. 

“Stay where you are!” she snapped, her face twisting into a scowl. 

Andrew shielded himself with his flippers. “I’m not going anywhere, calm down.”

Felicia stood silently with her paw touching Andrew’s forehead. His heart pounded in his chest, while the Lucario stood as if frozen in time. 

“His aura looks normal,” she said, opening her eyes. “I see no difference between him and the other losers.”

“The difference is that Andrew is really a human.” Charlie proclaimed, balling his paw into a fist.

Andrew took a few more tentative steps into the room. He glanced at the Gallade who narrowed his eyes in return. The Tyrantrum was still huddled over the table, his large eyes quickly darting from side to side. Despite refusing to acknowledge Andrew, he was nearly as tall as the ceiling even when hunched over. How did he even get through the door?

Suddenly, Andrew heard shouting coming from across the room.

“When will you learn not to bring random Pokemon in here?”

“He’s a human, I swear!” Charlie yelled back. 

“What even is a human? All I see is a Marshtomp! What if you just kidnapped some random kid? Again?”

Charlie waved his arms, accidentally punching a wall. “One time Felicia! It happened once and you’ll never let me hear the end of it!”

“Does your father know about you bringing peasants into the castle?”

“Why does it matter? He doesn’t care enough to stop me!”

“Do you two realize that I am right here?” Andrew asked. “Any more insults, Felicia?”

Felicia crossed her arms and looked away from Andrew. The Gallade had sat back down, facing the arguing pair with his legs crossed. He brandished a large smirk.

“Bravo, you two! I could not have asked for more maturity.”

“Shut up, Larry.” Sneered Felicia, baring her teeth. 

The Gallade stood up quickly, knocking his chair over. “Lawrence! It’s Lawrence! Stop calling me Larry!

Andrew couldn’t help but laugh at Larry’s outburst, covering his mouth to stifle his laughter. Felicia and Charlie also began to start laughing. The Tyrantrum still stood over the table, oblivious to events occurring around him. Larry pulled his chair back up and sat down, studying the papers on the table. Not daring to look back up.

Once he recovered from his laughing fit, Charlie walked over to the table and glanced at the papers. “You know what? I’m going to stop bringing humans here.”

“Excellent. Shall I have this Marshtomp escorted out?” Felicia asked.

Charlie picked up one of the papers and raised a finger to rebut. “But you didn’t let me finish. I’m going to need some things in return.”

“Lovely. I’m sure your demands will be reasonable,” spat Larry, arms crossed.

Charlie shook his head. “Don’t worry, I only want two simple things. First, I want Andrew’s banishment from the city of Grandeport lifted. Effective immediately.”

“What?!” Felicia yelled, her head snapping to face Andrew. “He’s a criminal? Of course, you of all Pokemon bring us a criminal, Charlie. Who did he kill?”

Charlie glanced at Andrew. “It wasn’t anything serious. He was just borrowing some food.”

Andrew crossed his flippers and glared back at Charlie, “Hilarious.” 

“We are not going to let a criminal run loose in the city. It would take months to get through all of the bureaucracy, anyways,” said Felicia, glaring at Andrew. 

Andrew raised his flippers and leaned forward. “Then why don’t you bulldoze through it? I was told you could make anything into law by waving your hands around.”

Felicia tilted her head. She inspected Andrew, this time with her eyes open. She rubbed her chin and brushed one of the strange black pouches hanging from her head. “Bulldoze? Hands? I’ve never heard anyone speak like you do,” Felicia said, tilting her head.

Charlie crossed his arms and smirked, “As I said, human.”

“No, I don’t believe it. The chances you found a human are astronomically low.” Felicia said, turning away from Andrew.

“Why not? Do you want my life story?” Andrew said, storming over to Felicia. “If I pulled my skin off and there was a human under here, then would you believe me? I hate this! I’m not supposed to be blue and wet. I shouldn’t be able to be able to swim a mile or ten minutes, nor should I feel the urge to! So what more do you want, Felicia? Should I name every human in existence to prove myself?”

Andrew’s heart raced as his chest rose and fell rapidly. He sat down on the floor, trying to catch his breath. Felicia, Lawrence, and Charlie all came over to him and looked down. Felicia brought a paw up to her cheek and looked up. What could she possibly be thinking about? How to double exile me? I’m counting my blessings at this point…

“What are we doing with him?” Larry asked, turning his gaze to the other two council members.

Charlie put his paws on his hips. “Lift his exile and put him on the police force. Then we’ll be unstoppable!

“You know what Charlie? How about we ask Eugene for his opinion’s on your latest idiocies?” Felicia snapped and glared at Charlie. 

The council members turned their views to the Tyrantrum. They stood in silence for a minute, waiting for the Pokemon to acknowledge them.

“Eugene?” Felicia asked.

He did not budge, continuing to ignore the group.  

Larry yelled. “Eugene! We’re talking to you!”

Eugene’s head snapped to face the group. His eyes narrowed and sharp teeth exposed. “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?” 

“We just want your opinion, Eugene,” said Felicia. Rolling her eyes.

Eugene stomped over to Felicia. Standing at full height, the Tyrantrum’s head brushed the ceiling. He stomped his foot causing a loud bang to echo throughout the room. 

“I told you I’m busy! How dare you interrupt my work!” Shouting, he pointed at Felicia with his undersized t-rex-like claw. “I am the only one who does anything productive around here.”

Felicia shook her head. “We are not having this discussion again.”

“Then what do you want from me?” Eugene roared, scraping the ceiling. 

Felicia held out her paws, “We just want to know what you think we should do with this Marshtomp.”

Eugene twisted his bulbous head to Andrew, staring intensely. What is up with all of these Pokemon staring at me? Do I stand out that much? He leaned down, aligning his head with Andrew’s. Taking a few steps back, he felt the Tyrauntrum’s heavy breathing brush up against him.

“I don’t care. Do whatever Charlie wants if it makes him stop bringing these losers to us.” Eugene said, stomping away. 

Andrew got up, brushing bits of dust that he had accumulated while on the floor. Felicia faced Charlie and put her paw on her forehead. “Alright, so you want us to lift this Marshtomp’s exile, and grandfather him into the police force?”

“Yep,” he said.

Felicia sighed. “And if we allow this, then you will stop bringing random Pokemon in here?”

Charlie smiled. “Of course! When have I ever lied to you?”

Felicia relented and scowled. “Fine. We have a deal.”

Pulling his paw into a fist in front of him, Charlie bore a wide grin. Murmuring, “Yes,” as Felicia rolled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time. 

“Charlie will show you to one of the officers, and he will report back here immediately. Alright?” She asked forcefully, slanting her eyes.

Charlie smiled and motioned Andrew out of the council’s room. Stealing one last glance, he and the Raichu promptly exited. Charlie carefully shut the door behind them and sighed as they began to walk, “That could have been worse.”

Andrew remained silent, having lost track of the number of times he had followed Charlie’s steps. He swished his tongue around his drying mouth as the pain began to set in around his head. Damn it, not again! Can’t I go five minutes without becoming dehydrated? 

“Hey, when am I getting that free food?” Andrew asked, quickening his pace to align with Charlie. 

Without turning, Charlie said, “I don’t know, you’ll get it at some point. Just relax.”

“Charlie, I know this may come as a shock to you, with me being an amphibious water type.” Andrew sneered, sarcastically. “But if I don’t drink lots of water, I can’t function.”

Charlie stopped abruptly, and without any warning, he slapped the wall next to him. The noise eerily echoed throughout the hallway. Bouncing back and forth across each end. He turned to Andrew with a stark look of displeasure on his face. His paw was raised to massage the soft skin right above his eyes.

“Do you know how lucky we just got? I was half sure they would have killed you on the meeting room floor.”

“Then why would you bring me there?” Andrew asked, mouth agape.

“That’s beside the point. What matters is we are so close to getting you on the police force, and your top priority is drinking water. Do you have an addiction or something?”

“I’m a dehydrated water type! That’s a serious health risk!”

Charlie scoffed. “Excuses, excuses, and more excuses. We’re almost there.”

Andrew stopped walking and stomped his foot on the ground. “Why can’t you just empathize with me?” he said, waving around his flippers. 

“I can too!” Charlie shouted. “But why can’t you just wait? Like the rest of us?”

“Because Charlie, if I wait too long then I will die of heatstroke,” Andrew said, crossing his flippers.

Charlie rolled his eyes. “My Arceus, fine. If you are that desperate we can get some lunch, after we talk with the police captain.” 

Andrew cursed at Charlie under his breath. The duo walked down the seemingly infinite hallway for another few minutes. He had grown accustomed to the silence of the castle but still found the empty corridors to be unsettling. Despite their conflict, he never let himself fall too far back behind Charlie. 

They stopped in front of another seemingly random door. Opening it revealed a room smaller than earlier, occupied by a Watchog. He sat at a simple wooden desk and was writing with what appeared to be a quill and ink. His red and yellow eyes turned to look at Andrew and Charlie.

“May I help you?”

Charlie walked in leaning on the desk. “Yes Victus, I need to ask a favor of you.”

Victus carefully placed the feather down on his desk and got up. To Andrew’s surprise, the Watchog towered nearly a foot above each of them. He studied Charlie while standing above with eyes narrowed. 

Sighing, he asked, “What could you possibly want this time? I am not going to vouch for you again if that’s what you’re here for.”

“No, not at all!” Charlie said, waving his paw. “Just a small thing which will take you only a minute. Andrew, could you please come in?”

Andrew slowly stepped into the room, flippers glued to his sides. His eyes darted around back and forth before settling on the Watchog standing before him. The creature began to stare back at him intensely.

“Do you want me to kill him, or something?” Victus asked, maintaining a stern expression.

“What? No!” Charlie shouted. “I just want you to put him on the police force. Skip the bureaucracy and all of that crap.”

Victus leaned forward and forcefully poked Andrew in the stomach, causing him to stumble back a little. What the hell was that for? Does anybody in this world have boundaries? 

“I’m not sure he’s police force material, Charlie,” Victus said, walking back to his desk. 

Charlie smiled, “He’s a human. Which means he has abilities that regular Pokemon don’t have. I think you’ll find him a valuable asset to the force.”

“If that’s true then he can meet a recruitment officer and prove his capability like any other Pokemon. I’m not giving special treatment to this Marshtomp. Don’t you think that’s fair, Andrew?” Victus spoke as he picked the feather back up and dipped it into a jar of ink. 

“Uh, I don’t know,” Andrew said, fidgeting. 

A scowl enveloped Charlie’s face, he brandished a fist. “Victus, I’m not asking. Put him on the royal police force.”

“I don’t take orders from you!” Victus snapped. “I told you, if you want him on the police force he can go through the normal recruitment process. I’m sick of handing out positions to the monarchy and their friends!” 

Charlie turned around to face Andrew. A psychotic smile was plastered across the Raichu’s orange face, startling Andrew. He took a few steps back, holding out a flipper. 

“Charlie, are you good?” he asked meekly. 

His eye twitched, “Andrew, could you leave the room for a second? And close your door on the way out,” he said with surprising tranquility.

Andrew slowly backed out of the room, not letting his eyes leave Charlie until after the door was shut. He could feel his stubby fingers begin to tremble as he released the handle. His exhaustion was dissipating, every instinct telling him to run as far as he could. He closed his eyes and attempted to relax. Everything is okay. They are just going to have a civil discussion.

“You don’t take orders from me?” he heard Charlie screech. “Do you know I am? I could fucking end you!”

Andrew jolted back from the door. What the hell are they doing? His heart pounded against him, and his breathing was becoming heavy. He looked up and down the lifeless monotone corridor. I could escape, nobody’s stopping me. A loud crash sounded from the office, followed by more yelling from Charlie.

“I’ve met your wife, Victus, I’ve seen your kids. What if something horrible were to happen to them? What would you do?” Another loud crash echoed down the hallway. Andrew was ready to run.

But before he could, the door creaked open behind him. Andrew’s heart skipped a beat as he slowly craned his head backward. Victus was standing in the doorway, visibly shaken. His colorful eyes seemed wider than they had been earlier. He clutched the doorknob as if he were about to fall over.

“Congrats, Andrew.” He said meekly. “You’ve got the job. We’ll meet tomorrow.” 

Charlie poked his head out from the doorframe, emulating a thumbs-up with his paw. Andrew walked back to the office. Inspecting its interior, he noticed it was now in a sorry state. The desk was flipped over and papers were strung all over the room. Charlie turned to him, giving Andrew an eerily warm smile.

---

“So where is everybody? All these giant rooms and not a single Pokemon in sight,” Andrew asked. Stuffing a fist full of berries into his mouth.

Charlie bit into a piece of bread. “Well, you know how it is. Guilds have been whittling away at our staff for ages. When I was a Pichu there was always at least a small crowd in here.”

Andrew gazed at the domed ceiling above. Skylights adorned it, brightening the hollow chamber. Tables and chairs were skewed about the room. Dozens of stalls surrounded its edges, though only one had a Pokemon selling food. This kind of reminds me of a food court. If I was eating in one that had been abandoned twenty years ago…

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Andrew spoke as he returned his gaze. “But what happened with the police guy? Victor was it?”

Charlie set his food down. “Victus you mean? He’s the worst. Now look, Andrew. I don’t advocate for cowardice, but you gotta know when to keep your damn mouth shut. There is a chain of command which exists for a reason. At the end of the day, I know how stuff works better than Victus does. And he should know to respect that!”

Charlie broke into a yell. “What would our society become if I let Pokemon like Victus say no to me? Is that fair that any random Pokemon gets that authority? What dystopia would we be living in if that Watchog had banned you from entering the police force?”

“Lovely rant Charlie, but you didn’t answer my question,” Andrew said. Sticking his tongue out to lick the frosting of a cupcake. 

Charlie’s eyes widened. “You mean how I convinced him to give you the job? Just a bit of friendly banter, nothing you have to worry about.”

“You attacked him, didn’t you? I heard you yelling,” Andrew uttered, biting into the cupcake slowly. 

Charlie slammed his paw onto their table. “I did what I had to do, Andrew. You got the job, be a bit more grateful for all I’ve done for you. I consider you a friend.”

More grateful? Is he my mom now? Forcing the last bits of the cupcake down his throat, Andrew spoke with a full mouth. “Charlie, I’ve known you for half a day.”

“Am I not your friend?”

Andrew sighed. “I guess you are the closest thing I have to one right now…”

“Good enough for now,” Charlie said, smirking. “Just be a bit kinder, maybe? At this rate, you’ll end up back in prison before the year is over.”

“I’ll consider it. But right now, I’d quite like to go for a swim,” Andrew declared as he smiled back at Charlie.

“I think we can make that happen.”