Counting Flaaffies

“Y’know Chloe, I wouldn’t have thought you’d be so good at pulling this cart. Though, could you maybe go a little faster?” Andrew asked as he shifted on top of the pile of gold coins he sat upon. 

Chloe stood in front, gripping two wooden bars protruding from the wooden wagon while marching forward. The vehicle moved slowly, occasionally jolting upward as they went over a rock or pothole on the dirt road.

The Flaaffy groaned. “Maybe we’d go faster if you weren’t adding an extra sixty pounds?”  

“Sixty pounds?” Andrew stood up, wobbling as the cart shook. “I’ll have you know that I weigh one -hundred… Right, sixty pounds.”

He sat back down.

Chloe released the handles and wiped a bead of sweat off her forehead. She eyed Andrew before walking over to the side of the road and sitting down on a soft patch of grass. 

“What’s the holdup?” He shouted.

The Flaaffy ignored him.

Andrew rose to his feet. Stupid, useless, minister sheep. I’ll show her! He climbed down, kicking his feet in the air as he slipped onto the ground. The Marshtomp straightened his bowtie before marching over to Chloe with the stoic expression of a Pokemon who meant business.

“Chloe.”

She slumped her head to the side. “Yes, Andrew?”

He cleared his throat, raising his flippers. “You might notice, but we are in the middle of the woods.”

“I did.”

“Now then,” Andrew muttered as he pointed back at the cart. “Do you see that? Do you know what you are supposed to do with it!?”

Chloe stood up. She was a couple of inches taller than Andrew, though it felt like feet at that moment. “Andrew. I am not pulling that stupid thing with you on it. It’s heavy enough as it is.”

“I’m the president. You do what I say,” he humphed.

Chloe growled, her foot digging into a mound of dirt. “There is no reason why you can’t help pull the cart! You could at least walk.”

“You’re the ground-type Pokemon, not me. As a water type, it brings me great pain to walk on land for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Plus, the extra weight I add on the coins helps keep them from flying away.” Andrew stuck up his chin.

“You’re the ground-type Pokemon,” she deadpanned.

Andrew tilted his head. “What? No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. Marshtomp is a dual water and ground type Pokemon,” Chloe said as she glared at him and tugged at her wool, as though about to rip it out.

He tapped his chin before his eyes drifted away from Chloe and toward the dense forest surrounding them.

His head snapped back to meet her gaze. “You’re serious? Chloe, promise me you’re not pulling my tail— Sorry, tails.”

“You’re a ground type! How did you not know that?” She yelled, a concerned look on her face.

“Well…” He tugged at his bowtie. “I’d probably have figured it out if you kept pulling the cart. Speaking of which.” The Marshtomp pointed to the stack of gold peacefully resting on the vehicle.

The Flaaffy crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “I’m pretty sure Marshtomps are stronger than Flaaffies. Maybe I should be the one sitting on the gold?”

This is not working. 

Andrew made his way back toward the cart and climbed back up into its bed. He laid down, resting his head on his flippers before taking a deep sigh.  

“Andrew! I am not pulling the cart with you on it!” Chloe called out from below.

He stirred, closing his eyes and letting the trickles of sunlight above warm his cool skin.

She growled. “I mean it!”

Yes, I’m sure you do.

A smug grin spread across the basking Marshtomp’s face. 

But as soon as Andrew began to doze off, he heard footsteps. They ruffled against the grass, kicked up some dirt on the road, and began to clack against the wood floor of the cart. Coins bumped together, their metallic clang filling the air.  

Andrew felt himself moving, a sense of weightlessness soon overcoming him. He felt himself roll over the jagged edge of the wood before feeling as though he were levitating.

Hey, wait a second—

“Oof!” Andrew let out involuntarily as he hit the course, rough ground. He shook his head and opened his eyes to find Chloe on top of the pile of gold with her arms crossed.

“You’re pulling,” the Flaaffy ordered with a scowl.

He stood up and stomped his foot. “I am most certainly NOT.”

She stuck her head to the side. “Nuh uh.”  

“I. Am. The. PRESIDENT!” The Marshtomp hollered “Do you know how much I’m paying you? The absolute least you could do is pull this damn cart!”

Chloe plopped herself down. A single gold coin flew up from the sudden pressure, and gravity quickly pulled it back down straight onto Andrew’s head. The Flaaffy stretched her arms and let out a peaceful yawn.

Andrew rubbed his head before picking up the coin. He squinted his eyes and launched the metallic gold piece straight at her.

Ow Andrew! That hurt! He imagined her yelling. Any second now.

One second passed.

Two seconds.

Three.

No sound came from the Flaaffy. In fact, she had disappeared from sight. 

Andrew climbed back onto the cart to find Chloe spread out on a golden bed, eyes tightly shut. Her chest subtly rose up and down as if she were calmly snoozing on a cold winter’s night.

“You are not asleep,” Andrew humphed.

No response. 

“You are not asleep,” he repeated… only to be met with a long, exaggerated snore. 

“You don’t expect—” 

The Marshtomp was cut off by another snore, this one even louder and more ridiculous than the last.

He rolled his eyes. “God—” 

Chlore snored so loud, it shook the vehicle and caused some coins to cascade from the pile next to her. 

…Damnit.

Andrew sighed as he hopped down from the cart. The sun hung high in the air, with the afternoon sky dotted by plenty of fluffy clouds. The forest was in a deep silence. Suspiciously, it appeared Chloe’s snoring had stopped as soon as Andrew ceased talking.

I can’t just let her win! She’s gotta pull the cart! But such a thought did not change the reality of the situation. The forest was quiet, eerily so. There wasn’t a single sound apart from Andrew’s angered breaths, Chloe shifting in the pile of jingling coins, and the occasional light blow of the wind. 

“Fine! If you’re going to just sit there, I’ll pull the cart myself. Not because I deserve to, but because I’m sure I could do it better than you can,” Andrew yelled up to her, hoping for something, any response. 

He sauntered up to the front and placed his fingers on the two protruding bars. With a grunt, he began to move forward. The cart’s four wooden wheels rode bumpily across the uneven path and the sound of coins clunking against each other became ever-present.

The vehicle was surprisingly light. Andrew hardly felt tired from pulling the weight of the coins and Chloe through the lush forest. 

Hey, this is actually kind of fun. Why was Chloe complaining so much about pulling this thing? It’s practically a feather!

“You see Chloe? See how much better I am than you at pulling this!?” He yelled as his legs began to move faster. 

The wind blew against his fins. It was Andrew against the world, he was running through the wilderness into the unknown. The call to action! Adventure! A joyous smile conquered his face as he accelerated faster and faster. The foliage blurred and the dirt of the road turned to the waves of an ocean. 

Each bump in the road sent the coins flying a good inch in the air before they fell and settled back down. Nothing deterred the Marshtomp. 

“Andrew! Slow down!” Called a familiar voice.

He didn’t look back, continuing to run along as if there were no tomorrow. “What’s the matter, Chloe? Mad that I’m better than you at pulling?”

“You’re trying to kill me!” She cried as she sat up, gripping the side of the cart.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s no big deal!” He laughed. “I didn’t realize I could go this fast! I feel so alive!”

Andrew didn’t stop despite feeling a rock beneath his feet, even as the cart ran over it and jumped to the left. The coins rocked back and forth before a bunch of them spilled off and onto the ground. The Flaaffy hung on for dear life as the vehicle lifted and tilted. 

“We just lost nearly half the money! Are you insane? Slow down!” She cried out from behind as water flew off Andrew’s body due to the high speed they were going.

He didn’t respond, instead focusing on the path ahead. A rock was coming up over the horizon. It was unlike the others— it was large, jagged, and obscuring the right half of the road. The cart was sure to go over it if he didn’t change course.

Eh, fine.

Andrew began to slow down just a bit and run toward the left. His body easily missed the rock by several feet, but the cart was not so lucky.

The front right wheel connected with the rock, and the cart waned as it made its way over. However, he did not feel it hit the ground. Andrew’s fingers slipped off the bars as the vehicle lost all momentum. He looked behind him, only to find it stuck on top of the rock.

“Great job, Andrew,” Chloe scoffed, peering over him with narrowed eyes.

He waved his flipper. “I’m sure it’s not a big deal. Just help me get it off the rock and we’ll be off to the cave.” 

Suddenly, a rumbling came from the bed of the cart. Coins clanged and clunked against one another in a beautiful, metallic symphony. A river of gold poured from the back of the vehicle as Chloe and Andrew watched on in horror. 

The sound subsided as quickly as it started. The forest floor had been transformed, now home to a sea of gold. 

“Goddamnit!” 

Chloe climbed out of the cart and into the large pile of gold. “I’d say there’s about two-thirds of it on the ground. Great going.”

Andrew stared at the mess of coins on the ground. Sunlight reflected off of them, refracting onto trees and rocks. Andrew picked one up to see the shiny face of Mirage ingrained into the tiny object.

“We should really update these. I think my face would look far better on these old things than that old fox,” Andrew chuckled, tossing it back into the cart.

Chloe groaned. “I’d rather look at his old face all day than yours.”

“And yet I’m the one who provides you with these coins. How ironic,” He shot back as he scooped up a handful, as much as he could fit between his flippers. He carried them to the cart and released them into the vehicle.

Andrew craned his head around to see Chloe staring at him idly. 

“Well? Are you going to help?” He asked, crossing his arms. “This money won’t be very hidden if it’s in the middle of the road.”

“You’re the one who got our cart stuck after I told you we were going too fast. You should be the one to pick everything up,” the Flaaffy growled. She picked up a coin and tossed it lightly, watching it land at Andrew’s feet.

Andrew stared down at it, his brow furrowed and a frown on his face. This is kind of my fault. I was the one running. But, wait a second— I was only running because Chloe made me pull the goddamned cart! 

The Marshtomp kicked a small pile of coins forward. “No, this is your fault! I was only in a position to run because you were too lazy to keep pulling! If it hadn’t been for you, we wouldn’t be in this mess! We’d be in the cave by now!”

“You were the one running like a maniac!” She shouted, jolting forward.

Andrew stood tall and pointed in response. “No, you were the one running like a maniac!”

“What are you even talking about?” She asked before raising her arms. The Flaaffy looked exasperated, ready to rip the wool off her head.

“You know what I’m talking about,” he said as he narrowed his eyes. “You know…”

Chloe sighed, bending down and scooping up a small pile of coins. “I’m just going to be the bigger Pokemon and start getting these back in the cart. Feel free to join.”

“You’re only being the bigger person because I’m making you,” The Marshtomp gloated, throwing a single coin into the bed.

She rolled her eyes. “As I said, feel free to join.”

Stupid Flaaffy.

Grumbling under his breath, Andrew picked up stacks upon stacks of gold and dumped them back into the cart. The two Pokemon worked in a silence only broken by the sounds of the coins clacking against each other. 

Half the sea of coins had been drained in only ten minutes. As Andrew bent down to collect another pile, Chloe cleared her throat, finally breaking their silence.

“Andrew, do you think we maybe should have moved the cart off the rocks before putting the money back in?”

He gazed at the wooden cart still proudly mounted upward on top of the jagged rock. “Yeah, probably.” 

“Gonna give me a paw?” Chloe asked as she skipped over to the cart and began pulling it from behind.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” he said as he scratched his chest. “I think you’ve got it down, Chloe. Because you’re so smart and great.”

The Flaaffy let go of the cart, turning to meet Andrew’s gaze and she crossed her arms. “Can you stop being an asshole for five minutes? My Arceus, every minute with you. Does it make you happy to act like this? Huh?”

Andrew’sfingers curled into fists as his flippers began to tremble. “Hey! I’m the asshole? I gave you a job! I’m giving you money! You’re the one who’s being ungrateful here.”

“Ungrateful? I was forced into this. If I could turn down this job and your stupid money, I would. Just help me pull this thing down, will you?” She shot back with a grimace.

Andrew stomped over to the back of the cart and huffed. “Because apparently you are so incapable.”

The Marshtomp curled his fingers around the top of the cart’s back wall and pulled back. The vehicle groaned, its wheels turning reluctantly as it rolled off the steep edge of the rock. Chloe jumped out of the way out of caution. The coins inside made a racket as they connected with the road once more. 

Andrew smiled and crossed his flippers. “Good as new!”

The Flaaffy shook her head as the two scooped up the rest of the coins. The sun hung a bit lower in the sky and the air felt just a bit cooler. Chloe climbed back up onto the newly remade mountain of coins and kicked her feet up.

Andrew didn’t say a word, grabbing back onto the bars and trudging down the path.

A few more minutes of silence passed as the road winded into deeper and deeper foliage. Tree limbs grew larger as sunlight was forced to trickle through the few cracks it could push through.

Andrew let out a sigh. “Did you bring food by any chance?”

“If I did, I would have eaten it all by now.”

His stomach growled. “I am so hungry. We need to find food.”

“We could scavenge for berries, but it’s probably already three or four at this point,” she groaned as she looked up at the sky. “I’d like to be back in the city by dark.”

“Ugh, fine.”

The path began to straighten out as the foliage around them suddenly thinned out. The trees grew smaller as the sunlight grew harsher. In their place, large rocks began to rise along the sides of the path. 

Drip Drip Dip.

A familiar noise echoed through the forest. 

Andrew’s eyes widened. He suddenly dropped the bars and began running in the noise’s direction. 

“Wait, Andrew! Where are you going?” Chloe shouted from behind, but her cry fell on deaf ears.

The Marshtomp found himself scaling a rock and hopping over some grass before continuing his sprint. Every moment felt more desperate than the last as his thirst grew stronger and stronger.

Up ahead was a tall cliff, certainly not possible for a Marshtomp to climb. But that was no issue, as it was what hung over it that called to Andrew. Over the side of the cliff flowed a massive waterfall, spilling into a small lake below.  

Andrew ran straight to it and jumped in at just the right moment for a satisfying splash. His body fell straight into the liquid and completely submerged as the water rippled and settled.

Yes. Was the only thought in his mind. He was in his element. He was refreshed, rejuvenated. The Marshtomp opened his mouth to let the water flow in, taking large, thirstful gulps. 

A muffled voice called from above the water. “Amndrewm? Agndmrew?!”

Deciding to come back to the reality above the water, Andrew kicked his feet and allowed his head to break the surface. It was horrible. Everything about not being in the water suddenly felt foreign again, just like when he had swum in the ocean for the first time.

“What are you doing?” Chloe scolded from the water’s edge, staring down at him.

Andrew looked up with a dumbfounded gaze. “Swimming.”

“Yes I can see— ugh,” She huffed as she threw her head down. “Why did you just leave like that?”

He tilted his head quizzically. “Because I heard the water.”

“So you just ran off?”

Andrew’s gaze darted around the rocky surroundings and toward their jagged edges. “I guess so.”

The Flaaffy scowled. “You’re such a child! You drag me out on this stupid mission and then run off to play in some lake? Just, wow.”

Andrew climbed out of the water, shivering. His body may as well have been frozen into ice. It’s a miracle I can even walk! But his anger lent him the strength to brave the chill and approach Chloe. “You seem to know a lot about Pokemon, don’t you?”

She brushed her wool. “You could say that.”

“Then, I assume you know what happens when a Marshtomp becomes dehydrated. It certainly isn’t pretty,” the Marshtomp said with a chuckle, undoing his bowtie and wringing out the water from it.

“Are you kidding me?” Chloe scoffed as she began to curl the nub at the end of her arm into something like a fist. “Because you were thirsty, you had to run off and dive into a lake without saying a word? Would it have been too much to say ‘Gonna get some water, be back in a minute?’”

Still just a bit damp, he swung the bandana over his neck before giving her a bored stare. “Yes.”

She turned around and began to walk back to the cart. “I can’t, I just can’t do this! My mom has made me work plenty of jobs—”

Andrew jogged forward to catch up with her.

“…And this is by far the worst I’ve ever had! Even worse than my job working in the Grandeport Guild jail.”

“Wait,” Andrew uttered as they approached the cart. Chloe climbed into the bed while Andrew grabbed the handles in front and began to move forward again.

The Marshtomp craned his head back to her with a stone-cold expression. He looked her in the eye. “You worked in the guild’s jail?”

The Flaaffy shuddered. “It sucked but paid surprisingly well. Plenty of prison guards were making as much or even more than the rescuers, I assume because nobody else wanted to work such a horrible job.”

“I would sooner die than set foot back in the Grandeport Guild,” Andrew muttered with a frown.

“Even with my mother’s creative accounting, being a guard in that place paid more than anything she could,” she continued, ignoring the Marshtomp. “So naturally, I was forced to work there until my mom sensed a new opportunity with you.”

Andrew began to pick up the pace. The cart’s wheels were a little beaten up, so it wasn’t going nearly as fast as it had earlier. But it was easy enough to move without tiring too easily. 

“That day your mother made me give you a job was the best one of my life!” He said sarcastically.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Most days involved just fetching some food from the kitchen or yelling at a prisoner or two. But occasionally, we’d have to go into a cell to subdue a prisoner. Or even worse… sometimes they’d escape and try to subdue us.”

“That jail was the worst place I’ve been in my life,” Andrew remarked, gritting his teeth.

Chloe tilted her head, holding back a grin. “Wait, you were in the jail too? Did you work there or something? You know, being a former police officer.” 

“Unfortunately. I was not brought to the Grandeport Guild as a member of law enforcement,” he replied, looking away. 

The Flaaffy’s jaw fell agape, but she quickly regained her composure before crossing her arms. “You were arrested by guild members? When, and what did you do? I guess it’s not surprising considering, you know.” She gazed down at the pile of gold she sat upon.

“It was before I became a police officer. Different time, different me. I just stole some food from some random store. But, Jason and Ryder, they just so happened to have their evening free to hunt me down and lock me away!”

“…You also know Jason and Ryder?” Chloe asked, a hint of unease creeping into her voice. “They used to work shifts in the jail. I never knew them too well, but I always found them to be an odd pair.”

Andrew stopped the cart and grimaced. “Those two nearly drowned me! I was in the prison and—”

“Drowned you?” She interrupted. “You’re a Marshtomp, how on earth would they drown you?”

“Goddamnit! I meant dehydrated. They held me for a day without giving me a single drop of water! Worst experience of my life, I really did feel like I was about to just… die.” He clarified. His eyes squeezed shut at the recollection of the memory.

He shook his head and started forward again. A tall cliff, like that of a mountain, began to rise from the horizon. The sun had fallen even lower, barely hanging above the rocky monolith. 

“You know,” Chloe began, clearing her throat “It was a while ago, and my memory is a bit murky, but I remember this Marshtomp. He had been detained by Jason and Ryder, and I think he was malnourished or dehydrated or something. There was this doctor—”

Andrew picked up speed as his thoughts raced. “The Audino! Yes, I remember. Were you the Flaaffy in the cell with me? The one who got punched in the stomach? Man, it feels like forever ago.”

“Arceus, yes,” She said before laughing nervously at the thought. “Only ran into that Audino a few times, but he always rubbed me the wrong way. I never saw him treat any of his colleagues well.”

“Probably for the best,” The Marshtomp remarked with a snort.

Chloe sighed, lying down on the bed of gold. “I get you didn’t have a pleasant time in jail. That doesn’t mean I deserved to be treated badly.”

“You said something to me then. Can’t remember exactly what it was,” He remarked as he took one flipper off of a bar and tapped his head.

She kicked a small pile of coins off of the pile. “I don’t remember saying anything.”

“What was it?” He muttered as he put his flipper back and resumed his normal speed. “Something about handouts? That I didn’t deserve food? Something like that.”

The Flaaffy shot up in surprise. “I’d never say anything like that! You must be misremembering.” 

“No, I always remember correctly. You got all up in my face when you said it. How could I ever forget?” He insisted.

She humphed and turned away. “I never said anything. I’m above things like that.”

“Whatever.”

The cliff grew ever larger as the two approached. Its base had become visible as it cloaked the cart in its massive shadow. Andrew eyed a large hole in the cliff, the dirt path they were on, beginning where the road ended.

After a few more moments of silence, they arrived at the base of the cliff. The opening appeared to be some sort of cave. Chloe hopped down from the bed and Andrew walked inside, his eyes darting around in intrigue.

Just enough light trickled in to light up the entire cavity, displaying all of its weathered details. The cave was hollow, only about forty or fifty feet deep into the cliff, and no more than one hundred feet in width. 

The natural ceiling was low, capping the chamber off at about eight feet up. Still, it proved far more than enough room for Andrew and Chloe.

The Marshtomp breathed a sigh of relief. “Welp. This is the place.”

Chloe stood idly as she observed their surroundings. “Yep. It’s… Well, I guess it’s more or less what I expected.”

“It’s a hollow structure in the middle of nowhere. That’s all we need,”  Andrew said before taking one last glance and turning around. “I’ll bring the cart in so we can unload the money.”

She nodded as the Marshtomp grabbed the cart and pulled it inside the cavern. The two climbed up on top of it, each grabbing handfuls of gold and throwing them to the floor. The coins clacked and clanged and scattered in every direction. The golden lake began to reappear and the symphony again began to play, but this time with purpose.

It was almost a game, as with each new pile, they threw the coins further and further. Chloe smiled, Andrew laughed. For just a moment, the two of them were free.

But all good things come to an end.

There were soon no coins left in the cart. All of them had been scattered throughout the cavern, not bunched in any one area. The Marshtomp looked back to the entrance to find that the sun’s light pouring in had begun to wane. 

“Doubt we’re getting home before sundown.”

Chloe sighed. “You gotta pay me extra if we’re not home before my shift ends.”

“You have a shift?” Andrew asked as he stared wearily at her.

She walked out of the cavern. “If it means you have to pay me more then yes. I’m sure there’s plenty in there to pay me with.”

“There should be a few million in there, enough for your paycheck and to keep the guilds and police happy, if need be,” He said flatly, straightening his bowtie as he followed her out.

The Flaaffy flattened her brow at him. “And because we have to give all this money to them, you of course decided to make that as inefficient as possible.” 

“Look, Chloe. I don’t exactly have permission to give any of these people money. Hell, I never got explicit permission from the council to pay you!” He snapped.

“And how is that my problem?” She huffed before stomping her foot. “I’m just here for the check. Nothing else.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Admittedly, I can give you your salary without issue as long as nobody gets too nosy. But for the rest, I need it to stay off the records. Hence why we’re doing everything in cash.” He pointed back at the money.

Chloe raised her arms in surprise. “You don’t expect me to come down here every time you need to pay for a bribe? After all— I’m the Minister of Transportation!”

“I expect you to deliver this money without arousing suspicion from the council, that’s your top priority,” The Marshtomp chided in an uncharacteristically serious tone. “I don’t care how you get the money from here to its destination, but nobody else can know this cave exists. Nobody but you and me are allowed to come here. Understand?”

“Yes, I understand,” Chloe sighed, looking him straight in the eye. ”Just know I’ll be sure to bring the whole city here if you ever have a change of heart about my salary.”

Darkness began to coat the heavens as the sun finally fell from the sky. Stars fought against the inky black, becoming small blotches of light in the otherwise pitch-black, noir evening. But it was of no use, they could not overpower the darkness.

A crazed smile came across Andrew’s face.

“Excellent.”