Chapter 8: Rhubarb

Now that Ruby was thinking about it, she was pretty hungry.

Shouldn’t’ve skipped breakfast she muttered to herself.

As city buildings slowly blurred into suburban neighborhoods, grass and plants become more of a common sight. The six of them moved down the street slowly, passing through rows of repeated brick houses with barely a different color or window placement. It was all the same.

Tori drifted to the right of her, chatting amiably with Proteus. “So what’s the cuisine like in southern Goji?”

“Better than here, at least. I’m not too familiar with cuisine specifically; my momma just bought whatever was being sold at the supermarket that day. Usually, it ranges from peppers to apples, and sometimes rice if the market is down. Call me feralistic, but yes we eat meat, though only on special dates or occasions, like my birthday.”

“I wouldn’t really call eating meat ‘feralistic’. It’s in their natural diet, what’s the fuss?”

“Don’t know. Some folks, too many of ‘em to be exact, just don’t care what you are if you’re eating meat. Shoutin’ hoopla about how it’s uncivil or is offensive to that kind of pokémon species or that it goes against Arceus’ laws.”

“I don’t think he would have seen it as going against his laws it if he made it that way in the first place.”

“Exactly. That’s like giving a poor mon money but then stealing it from him and calling him a petty thief or fool for accepting the bribe.”

“What meat does your family eat anyways?”

“Amoonguss limbs, fried Wimpod, et cetera. It’s not like there are people out there going and killing mons while they’re alive. All meat is usually killed naturally before being cooked. That’s what most folks refuse to understand.”

“Ignorant?”

“You could say.”

Gabi turned her body towards Proteus, eyes devoid of expression. “Hey- Protes, mind if I ask you something?”

“What’s up?”

“Is there a reason for that bandanna around your neck? You’re not part of an outlaw group, are you?”

Proteus laughed, snapping Alice out of her thoughts. “You’re the fourth person I’ve ever met to ask that. I’ll have you know, this is merely an aesthetic preference. My older brother said it made me look tough once, so I wore it a lot when I was a young Joltik because being tough was what I thought I liked. Nowadays I just wear it because it’s comfortable.”

“Nice.”

And so the silence returned. Ruby found herself swirling in thoughts, walking down the street with little attention to the environment around her. Hearing Tori be quiet was… only doubling that confusion, though.

Gabi and Tori floated while Tori drifted in the wind, Proteus crawling and The Joes trudging on their twelve little feet, one after the other, as if preparing for battle. She found it a little fascinating how the five in the back followed the brass without hesitance or weariness. Ruby squinted a little, noticing how the brass had a blue glow in their eyes while the back five had… red eyes.

But only ferals had red eyes? The Falinks troopers seemed to lack the blood-shot vigor she had seen in ferals, but still had a vague resemblance that stood out.

Maybe the color of the eyes related to the amount of consciousness in a mon?

Looks like I’m gonna have to do some research later.

She glimpsed at the troops for a short while longer before she saw one of them tilting away from their current movement, staring right at Ruby, cold glare dead set watching her.

She turned her vision back to the road only to be immediately jump-scared as the sound of broken tambourines rung behind her. Everyone turned around, watching as The Joes lay in a messy pile.

The brass bounced out of the pile and stomped their feet angrily, being met by no reverberated movement. “Who of you messed up the line!?” he pouted.

Ruby winced. The troopers lazily picked themselves up, making no noise back and looking between one another, faces dry of any resemblance of guilt.

Maybe they won’t find out?

The brass sighed, shifting their shields around as if mimicking a defense order. “On with you all. If I see a further failure of a phenomenal formation such as that, one of you is getting chewed out!”

He stabbed his horn in the air, and the troop followed. They waddled behind him, attempting to recreate the line from before. Once everything was settled and the quiet returned, the other five carried on with their merry way.

Not too shortly after, they stopped at Tori and Gabi’s house, which blended in with all the other houses in the street. The front yard was completely bare of any flowering or plants, being the driest grass that Ruby has seen since she was invited to help move things in a year ago.

New guests. Right. I’ll… have to be patient with this one.

Gabi floated forward, opening the door with a telekinetic force. Proteus and Alice took the lead, Ruby following on her stubby legs. The Joes jumped up the steps after her, with Tori zooming ahead of them all as Gabi waited in the back, shutting the door.

The smell and warmth of morning light poured into the room from a nearby window, catching Alice in awe. She twirled midair, grinning as small little dots of fuzz floated around her.

“W-wow! What’s all this speckley stuff?”

“Dustlight” Ruby answered. “It’s apparently the dust that flakes off Solgaleo’s fur when light passes through a room, a-and legends say that if you see it, you have a higher chance of having good luck.”

“Wow…”

Ruby tilted her head a little, alerting Alice to keep moving. They progressed down the hall, reaching the kitchen. Tori shuffled through her shelves before coming to a sigh.

“GABI!”

The Reuniclus floated into the room. “Something the matter?”

“When was the last time you went shopping?”

“I dunno. Three weeks ago?”

“We’re out of berries” Tori groaned.

“Fuck.”

Proteus and The Joes glanced between each other. “No food then?” the Galvantula croaked.

“I-it’s fine” Ruby assured. “If worse comes to worse we can always just order take-out… or something.”

Alice lit up. “This city has fast food!?”

“Y-yeah.”

Proteus nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

“Wh-where should we go?”

“I know a place” Tori announced. “It has a buffet too. That way we can just order what we see and not fuss about menus.”

Change of plans then Ruby thought to herself. Not that Tori isn’t a bad cook, but eating out at least saves us some awkwardness.

Gabi floated back towards the door. “Sorry about that, Tori…”

“It’s no big deal. C’mon, let’s just go out and fucking eat something.”

“Fine.”

~

The Joes shuffled out the door one by one. Gabi closed it behind them, sighing with a shaky breath.

“I assume you know where this place is?”

“I do” Tori chirped. She drifted down the street, leading a way back to the city with Ruby and Alice following. “It’s got a large menu too!”

Gabi floated forward, reaching pace with her. “And what’s the name of this place, exactly?”

“Darm’s. I took you there once, remember?”

“No you didn’t?”

“I did though. We went a few months back to celebrate your birthday.”

“That’s not what happened?”

Tori scowled. “We went with Raya. How the fuck do you not remember!?”

“My birthday was a month ago, Tori. And I didn’t see you on that day, either. You’re sure you’re not confusing me with someone else?”

Ruby treaded silently behind them, rocking the bag strapped to her side bag in pace with her footsteps.

“Are they always like this?” Alice whispered.

Ruby glanced over, sighing. “Kinda.”

“What kinda ‘kinda’?”

“Huh?”

“You said they were kinda always like that. What kinda ‘kinda’?”

Proteus crawled in between them, interrupting conversation. “Y’all trying to make a new language or something? I couldn’t help but overhear…”

“N-no” Ruby muttered. “Alice was just asking a question.”

Alice nodded, chuckling awkwardly. “Sorry if that came out wrong.”

A wave of silence flew over the three of them before Proteus picked the conversation back up. “Since it looks like it’s going to be such a long walk, why not learn some more about each other? I’ll start. I’m from southern Goji, in a little town called Winkelen. What about you two?”

The both of them flinched. Alice glanced back to Ruby, who glanced back to her.

Ruby sighed. “U-uhm, I’m also from a little town, a bit south from here.”

“Oh. What’s the name?”

“La Colina. Came here with my aunt after a-“

She stopped moving altogether, breathing held short.

“Ruby?”

“Sorry” she croaked. “Bad memories.”

“Oh, okay.” Proteus turned towards Alice. “What about you?”

The Chimecho laughed softly, frowning. “U-uhm.. I-I don’t know to be honest…”

“What do you mean?”

“I… don’t remember having a home, or a family-”

“You don’t have a family?”

Alice choked out tears. “I wish I knew if I did.”

Ruby and Proteus stood there, puzzled. A mon without a home? Or mons to even come to that home to? No parents, or aunts or uncles, or anything…

“So like, how were you born then? You didn’t just fall out of the sky, did you?”

Alice sighed. “I don’t know… it’s… it’s very hard to remember.”

The three of them turned back to their walk in an effort not to dig deeper into Alice’s private info. Gabi and Tori floated ahead of them moving through the street past shops and hotels, still carrying on the conversation they had started back at the house. The suburban neighborhood they had came from had shifted back to the lively area of Blubluk, a transition that none of them had caughten aware of.

Tori glanced back. “Y’all still hungry?”

“Y-yeah!” Alice shouted.

“Good. We’re getting close.”

Proteus reassured the bag over his back, stuffing the smaller pink one inside it. “Can’t eat with my palps full” he joked.

They traveled through the streets quietly, following Tori’s navigation. A few minutes later they reached a small corner of the city with multiple restaurants built into city walls, a few open-air seats being scattered in the large space in the middle. Signs in Unown lettering hung over each of the doors, varying in color and size.

Tori directed towards a restaurant by the name of “Darm’s”, with a painted drawing of a hungry Darmanitan pounding onto the sign, spewing colorful flames around the lettering. The Joes kicked down the door, watching as it passively swung open and back, smacking two of the troops backwards.

The brass groaned. “Again with it!”

The troops picked themselves back up, pushing the door open with two holding down one side and three holding down another. The brass led everyone inside and up to the reception desk, where a Delibird with a teal apron waited behind the counter.

The troops all stumbled behind the brass in quick order as the Deilibird spoke up. “Welcome to Darm’s!”

Tori moved to the front. “Table for twe- six. Buffett.”

The Delibird frowned, holding a clipboard and pen. “Buffett isn’t until dinner hour, sorry. Would you be willing to try our casual dining instead?”

Gabi glanced back to Tori. “You’re serious!?”

Tori simply shook her head. “It’s fine. Casual dining is fine.”

“Alrighty!”

The Delibird hostess led them to a circle-shaped booth near the back, whistling as the two mons glowered at each other. The Joes hopped in first, followed by Gabi, then Alice, then Tori, then Proteus and Ruby.

“Menus will be out shortly.”

“Thanks.”

The hostess left, leaving Gabi and Tori locked in a death stare between each other.

“You said there was a buffet!”

“The hostess said there was but only at night! How was I supposed to know that!? I haven’t been here during the lunch hours!”

“You didn’t say anything about sitting down either!”

“Hey, it’s an honest mistake! Diners are the same thing, what’s the point!?”

“Stop fighting!” Alice interrupted. She glanced between the two of them, anxiously sweating. “W-we got here, that’s what matters. Please don’t fight…”

“Fine” Tori grumbled. She leapt out of her seat and onto the table, getting out of her current spot and sitting right next to Ruby, which made the mon blush in surprise.

As quiet brew over the table, a Bisharp wearing an apron approached, holding six menus in their palms. They placed them on the countertop, sorting the menus to each mon before heading towards the kitchen.

Proteus reached for one, flipping through the lists. “This is a pretty meaty selection.”

“Y-yeah” Ruby mumbled, passing a menu to Tori. “I g-guess I’ll just have some berries. I’m not really that hungry right now anyways.”

“Not hungry? But you just said before you were hungry? What’s the problem?”

“I’m not sure. Spicy food isn’t really my thing, and there seems to be a lot of it here…”

Gabi teleported a menu to The Joes, who grumbled in frustration. “Can’t even flip through these damn pages!”

“Need help?”

“I’m fine” the brass hissed, turning their eyes away from her. The troops stacked on top of each other, creating a small staircase so he could stand on the table and sort through the menu.

“Whatever.”

Alice sighed, levitating a menu towards herself.

“This is going poorly…”

“No kidding.”

Meanwhile, Proteus glanced back to Ruby, pointing to a heading labeled ‘Desserts’.

“Look at this!” he announced. “They sell rhubarb pie here! What a sweet coincidence, kek!”

“Y-you’re not going to eat a whole pie are you?”

“Oh don’t worry” Proteus chuckled. “I’ll give you a slice too, so you don’t miss out.”

Ruby sighed as the Bisharp waiter reapproached the table, carrying a slip of paper and pen. “Ready to order?”

“W-we are” Alice assured. “I’ll have the uh… potato tortilla.”

“Rhubarb pie” Proteus replied. He turned to Ruby. “What about you?”

“Kelpsy stew is f-fine.”

Tori slammed her fist onto the table. “I’ll have what she’s having.”

The Bisharp lightly nodded, scribbling on the piece of paper.

Gabi took her eyes off her menu, staring into the waiter’s soul. “Grilled Farfetch’d.”

“Right away.”

The Bisharp quickly walked back to the kitchen before The Joes could make a move.

“D-did he ignore us!?“ the brass screeched.

“It’s no big deal” Gabi mumbled. “I’ll let you have some of mine if it bothers you enough.”

“Fine.”

~

Proteus cut a slice out of the pie, placing it next to Ruby’s soup bowl.

“Well? You gonna try it?”

“Y-you’re sure about this?”

“If it’s as great as my momma’s it’s sure not to disappoint.”

Ruby sighed, opening her outer layer so her stubs could reach the pie. She took a bite, chewing slowly with her eyes closed, showing very little reaction.

“Well? Do you like it?”

“It’s not bad” Ruby mumbled.

“Great. Want more?”

“N-no thanks.”

“Alright.”

Proteus glanced back to Gabi, watching as she split apart the Farfetch’d wing into two with her psychic energy and teleported one half in front of The Joes.

“Any of you want to try it?” the bug queried.

Alice sighed. “I’m g-good sorry.”

“And you… two?”

“Let me fucking eat my own food first” Gabi hissed, throwing a glare at him.

The Joes looked away from Proteus, the troops instead staring at their plate with a fixed glare. They waited not for the brass’s order’s jabbing their horns into it furiously, hooking it on the tips and dropping it into their small mouths. A few small bits of the wing were scattered onto the seat only to be picked off again. The brass watched it all furiously, with a hint of a flame in his eyes.

“The brass gets the first bite! Ge… get out of the way!”

The troops proceeded to ignore him, continuing their hunger without a care about onlookers.

“Punishment it is then!”

The brass kicked the one in front of him, only to be stopped from continuing his rampage by Gabi, who quickly levitated him into the air.

“What kind of leader are you thinking you can mistreat your own crew!?” she snapped.

“I’m disciplining them! Is it not obvious!?”

“Chill the fuck out dude. If it bothers you enough just take a slice of pie and give your guys a break.”

“If I don’t keep a watch on them no one will.”

Gabi rolled her eyes. “Right now, I think you’re the one who needs watching.”

She let loose of her grip on the brass, sitting him in between her and Alice. Proteus passed a slice of rhubarb pie to him, which he quietly ate under Gabi’s eye. Tori caught sight of Ruby looking at them and smiled.

“You okay Ruby?”

“Y-yeah.”

Tori nodded. “Yo Proteus, mind if I try some?”

The Galvantula glanced back. “Of course, kek!”

Proteus cut another slice and passed it to Ruby, who passed it to Tori.

In one bite, she was enthralled.

“Damn, this is some really good shit.”

“Not for an easy price though” Proteus replied. “Yikes.”

“Something wrong?”

“Seven-fifty for a pie.”

“The fuck?”

“At least the expense was worth it.”

Tori glanced towards Ruby, completely forgetting about her slice. “How much money you got in that bag?”

“No need to be in a hurry” Proteus interrupted, holding a pedipalp in the air. “I’ll pay. I ordered the pie; I’ll cover the costs.”

“Oh… thanks.”

“Of course. Anything for friends.”