To be

Contrary to these last few days, he was the first one to open his eyes this time. Thankfully, he didn’t have any problems breathing like yesterday.

Simon was still holding him, his breathing was soothing, at least compared to the thunder that Rachel was snoring. Mark carefully got out of his grip, making sure to not wake him up.

As he got out of the tent, he noticed the feral on the other side of the force field. A gray, small dog, trying to claw its way through into their spot. It made Mark reflect, even to this point, he still didn’t understand the difference between ferals and other Pokémon, aside from the lack of intelligence. The constant beating they received when his team went into dungeons never fully sat well with him, he only went along because the other option was getting hurt himself.

As the dog (or more of a hyena, actually) whined, Mark could only stay there and watch, wondering why this hierarchy was the way it was. It didn’t seem fair.

He didn’t notice the Excadrill approaching him. “Morning.”

“O-oh, hey Rachel.”

She pointed to the feral. “We got company, huh?” Mark only nodded. “That’s a Poochyena, by the way. More species names to fill your head with.”

He didn’t respond, the information was nice, but his head was already full.

“There’s something in your mind, isn’t there?”

“I don’t get it.”

“What?”

“This.” He pointed at the dog. “Why are some Pokémon like this and some aren’t? Did something happen to them or what?”

“That… isn’t something I can really answer. The current theory is that the Mystery Dungeons strip you out of your identity if you stay for too long in them, thus the ones that are born inside one end up like that.”

“That’s scary…” He grumbled. In part, it made sense considering that he had only seen ferals out of towns. The few that were out in the middle of nowhere probably got out of the dungeons and wandered around. But he didn’t expect the places he went into to have such an effect on the species living there.

“It’s just the way it is. We have no idea where the Mystery Dungeons even come from, so we can’t do much about it.”

Seeing that the field wasn’t giving up, the Poochyena growled and left the tent alone. “It just doesn’t seem fair. We are the same species, are we not? There’s probably another Poochyena somewhere that can talk and shop and work at the guild, so why does this one have to be different?”

“The world isn’t fair. You know that already, don’t you?”

Mark sighed. He knew that very well.

With a yawn, Simon was the last one to get up. “Moooorning.” He waved. “What’s with the long faces? Did I miss anything?”

“You missed Mark’s miniature existential crisis.”

“What?”

“Just me being confused about this world again, nothing special at this point.” Seeing that Simon wanted a more specific response, he continued. “The whole ‘why do ferals exist’ question. I’m sure you also questioned that at some point.”

“Oh, yeah, I did. Eventually you learn not to think about it too much. Nothing we can do.”

“That’s what I’ve been told, but it still doesn’t feel right.”

“It never will, that’s why it’s best to ignore it.” Simon sat next to him while Rachel rummaged through her bag. “Aside from that, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just the same fear as always of losing everything I’ve worked for.” He leaned on Simon’s shoulder. “It’s like my confidence is slowly being drained away.”

Simon sighed in response. “Believe me, I know the feeling. But we gotta keep going, don’t we? Or else, what is the point of everything we’ve done?”

Mark smiled. “Yeah, I’m not giving up, don’t worry about that.”

“Hey, you lovers, have your food.”

“You’re never going to stop with the teasing, are you?”

“Nope!” She handed a piece of food to each of them. “And by the way, I wanted to talk about something, though I guess we can do that on the move.”

They packed up everything, and started walking again. They were somewhat close to Angel’s Window. If they were lucky and sprinted a bit, they could probably get to the guild that night, but it was doubtful.

“So, here’s the thing. Do any of you know what we’re going to do?”

“About what?”

“About everything. What’s our plan? We get to the guild, and then what?”

“We go after Arceus.” Mark said, making the other two stay silent for a moment.

“You do know that’s only gonna end badly, right?”

“And what else do you propose? They’re going after me anyways, it’s only a matter of time until they kill me. If we plan things out we can try to ambush them and maybe not lose our lives.”

“I… I agree with him.” Simon added. He was thoughtful, like he was convincing himself that this was the right move. “If we don’t go first, we’re dead.”

“So our plan is to go against a deity that created the world and possibly kill them even though they’re praised across the bigger part of the continent.” She sighed. It was true that it didn’t look good, but what other option did they have? “Somehow, not your stupidest plan. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“We don’t. But we gotta try, right?”

“Also, rewind a bit. What do you mean our stupidest plan? Was there ever one worse than literally going against god?”

Rachel frowned at that. “Yes, but I’d prefer not to talk about it. You weren’t in the right state of mind in that iteration.”

“Wait, you mean… oh. Oh god…” Mark hugged himself a bit. It was clear what she was insinuating, and the fact that he did really do it in one of the cycles made his stomach churn.

Simon must have noticed, as he held his paw tight. It was enough to clear his mind a little out of those dark thoughts.

“Sorry.” Rachel said. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I asked.” It wasn’t really okay, but he pushed past it as well as he could. “Changing topics, do you think we can make it to the guild tonight? I would really like to have more company when an angry god is hunting us.”

“I doubt it, but we can try.”

“Hey, Mark, I wanted to ask… Back there, when you saved me… What did you do?” Simon asked. “It looked like Protect but, what happened? Was it the same way as when you learned Retaliate?”

“I… I didn’t think of doing any move when I jumped for you. But then I felt time freeze and, I don’t know, a voice talked to me. It said that it wanted to help or something, and next thing I know, I’m feeling that same energy as last time and I’m doing a move I didn’t even know.”

“A voice? And you didn’t recognize it?”

“No. I’m very sure that’s the same voice I heard when I snapped against Zigg and when I got my memories of past iterations. Which means, I’m pretty certain that this is now Phase 4.”

“Makes sense.” Rachel chimed in. “This is so far the first iteration ever to get this far. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but hopefully we won’t need to remember it.”

“How come you never told us about that voice?”

“Because it wasn’t until now that I actually managed to talk to it. Well, ‘talk’, I just thought things and the voice could hear me. But before that, I legitimately thought it was my imagination.”

“Right, that brings me to my other question. Not really only for you but also for Rachel. Dialga said that no one brought you here. How is that possible?”

“I don’t know…”

“Arceus being behind this at least explains why every iteration had a different Legendary as the culprit, they were all going by their orders. But this? If no Legendary brought you to this world, how did you even get here?”

Mark stayed silent. He really wanted to have an answer, but he had nothing. Things kept getting more and more confusing, and it didn’t look like they would get clearer anytime soon.

---

As they expected, they didn’t get to the guild that night, but at least they were pretty close, they’d probably get there by late morning tomorrow.

Simon agreed to sleep together again, he seemed to enjoy it anyways so it wasn’t a problem. When going to sleep, however, Rachel was the only one getting some shut-eye.

“Hey, Simon?” Mark whispered. “Do you ever feel… lost?”

“Sometimes. It wasn’t that often because I used to have Rose, and well, now I have you. There always seemed to be a goal in mind. Why?”

“Because I’m feeling lost right now. Even after all this, I still feel like I don’t belong anywhere. You and Rose made me feel at home, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m like an alien here.”

“I get it. I spent years like that. Everyone treated me differently because of being a human. But overtime, things change.” Simon got closer. “Let me ask you this. Do you want to go back to your old life?”

Mark sighed. “I don’t really know… I’m happy here, mostly, and I don’t want to leave you. But what if I had loved ones back there? Should I leave them and make them think I died somewhere?”

“That… I guess we can’t make the call until you regain your memories, can we?”

“I guess not… What about you? Would you want to go back?”

“Not really. It’s been so long, if I came back, it’d probably be for the worst. Whoever I had close to me probably thinks I’m dead. I think it’s better to leave it like that.”

The answer didn’t sit completely right with Mark, but he understood his point. It wasn’t like his own situation, where he had spent probably around a month in another world, he was talking about years, and many of them.

“Hey Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m here for you. Whatever happens.”

And with a kiss on the cheek, they finally managed to rest.