Have at you

The next morning came soon, and Mark… Mark hadn’t slept. How could he when hundreds of different made-up scenarios crossed his mind? It was eating at him.

He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, but he couldn’t delay the trip, so he mustered the little strength he had left and stood up.

It was early, the sun hadn’t fully risen yet, but that’s what they planned: the earlier they parted, the earlier they’d arrive. And since he was ready to go, that meant there was only one he was waiting for. Mark entered his room, and sure enough, Simon was still fast asleep. 

He kept staring at him for a while. The way he curled up on himself while hugging the blanket was… cute. He felt the urge to lay down with him and just cuddle.

With a gulp, he shook his head, snapping away those thoughts. ‘God, what am I doing? I’m being a creep.’

“Hey, Simon… C’mon, bud, wake up.” He shook the Squirtle gently, but still strong enough to get him out of his dreams.

“H-huh…?”

“It’s already sunrise. We gotta get going.”

His eyes widened as he remembered what he was supposed to be doing today. “Right! Sorry.”

In just a minute, he seemed ready enough to go, so they picked up their bags and made their way to the guild. At least the town was deserted with how early it was, almost no chances for an attack out of nowhere.

When they got to the guild, not even the Breloom was there. His shift probably hadn’t begun yet. Instead, they got greeted by a somewhat anxious Guildmaster.

“Welcome, you two. Rachel is upstairs, packing the food.” They kept examining the two of them over and over, like a parent would to their kid before the first day of school. “Are you really ready for this?”

Simon sighed. “We have no option, do we? Dialga sent me here, so I doubt they would attack us.”

Gren kept looking at Mark, though. Their face said it all, they weren’t convinced of the conversation they had yesterday, but they also knew that he would stand his ground and not change his mind.

“Alright, I’m here.” Rachel came from downstairs. She was wearing a large backpack, probably with the food for both the way there and the return. She also tied the tent to the top of her backpack. “Ready when you are.”

“Can you carry all that? I don’t mind lending a hand.”

“Nah, I’m fine. I’ve carried worse, more specifically, I’ve carried Verm.”

That earned a chuckle from the other three. “Speaking of which, how are they?”

“They’re doing okay. Verm woke up late at night, no major injuries. And Dot already got her leg bandaged, she’ll probably be fine in a couple of days.”

“That’s good to hear.” Mark said. Apparently his tired voice was enough to immediately change the mood of the conversation. Everyone looked at him, and he honestly couldn’t care less.

“Are you okay, dude?” Simon was concerned, that much was clear.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just haven’t slept well, that’s all.” 

“Haven’t slept well, or haven’t slept at all?” Gren chimed in.

He didn’t respond. He just wanted to get this over with, he’d have time to sleep when they were on a tent. So instead of saying anything, he turned on his heels and walked out.

“H-hey, wait up!” Simon was the first to catch up to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, everything’s fine. I just want to get this done.”

“I mean, yeah, me too. But is that a reason to just leave like that without even saying bye?”

He stopped on his tracks, enough for Rachel to approach them as well. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Simon. Please. Let’s just go.” And he kept walking.

He didn’t bother looking back to check if the other two were following, he had just one thing in mind and that was going forwards. Whether that was because of this mission or because he didn’t want to think about everything else, he didn’t know.

Simon and Rachel were conversing. It was loud enough for Mark to hear, but he tuned most of it out. The couple of sentences he got to hear were along the lines of ‘He’s been really weird lately.’ and ‘It’s not my place to say.’. So anybody could imagine how Mark felt about it.

Some hours went by. They got to the entrance of Angel’s Window, but of course, it wasn’t there where they were heading this time. That said, it was enough of a landmark to sit down and take a breather. Rachel took off her backpack and handed some food to each of them. Just by the flavor you could tell it was Lily’s doing, as good as always.

“How are you holding up, Mark?” Simon said between bites. “You haven’t said anything since we left the town. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Why am I not believing you?”

“Just… Please leave me alone…” The weird feeling was back once again, but he wasn’t having it. He opted to end the conversation as soon as possible. The tiredness made it come out a bit more angry-sounding than he wanted, but it was already said.

“Mark…”

“Please.”

And the conversation ended there.

Some more hours later, it was starting to get dark. The whole trip was being nothing more than a blur for Mark. He was already struggling to keep walking after so many hours of staying awake and alert. Rachel probably noticed that, as she stopped on the spot and got the tent out. “C’mon, we’re camping here.”

“We’re still not even halfway around Angel’s Peak. We can keep going.”

“No, we can’t. Especially not you.”

With a grumble, he sat down. The tent was at least easy to set up, demonstrated by Rachel. Meanwhile, Simon rummaged through her back to get some more food. Mark was handed a pastry, but all he could do was stare at it. He had no appetite left.

He was so close to breaking down. The exhausting trip, his relationship with Simon, the fear of confronting a Legendary, and the whole cycles situation at large, all of those things were intertwining in his tired mind like a list of problems that he didn’t know how to solve.

“Mark.”

“What?!” He was panting, not even noticing the few tears that were flowing both on and under his helmet. The shout made Simon recoil, looking at him in a way that almost screamed fear.

“You… Okay, no, I’m not doing this. Something is wrong with you.”

“Just leave me be… Please.” He turned around, giving Simon his back.

“No. There’s something going on, and I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s happening.” Simon stood up, approaching him. “I’m your friend, remember? I’m trying to-” As soon as he put his paw on Mark’s shoulder, something snapped.

“I said to LEAVE ME ALONE!” Mark turned around forcefully, hitting Simon square in the face. It was the motion of a slap, but the stress made the Cubone turn his hand into a fist. The impact was strong enough to make his teammate spin back, kneeling on the ground while he inspected the possible wound.

Mark gasped after realizing what he had done. It was an instinct that he couldn’t control. Fueled by that same rage that made his only move possible, just that this time, the rage was directed at himself.

“S-Simon, I…”

“Mark.” He spoke in a way that wasn’t sad or regretful. It was angry. “I’d run if I were you.”

“…w-what?”

“I said RUN!” Simon turned around on a whim, showing his now bloodied nose. He immediately spat a current of water towards Mark, who just barely managed to dodge.

“What the hell?!” That’s what Mark managed to hear Rachel say, before he went off running in a random direction. His small legs combined with his exhaustion couldn’t go too far, but he didn’t stop.

This was exactly what Mark had been fearing, except instead of happening because of a confession, it happened due to the lack of one. He didn’t intend to snap, he didn’t intend to have his self-hatred break him completely.

Simon was chasing him, and he wasn’t far. It was only a matter of time until his teammate would catch up to him, but he still kept trying to run. Or at least, he tried until he tripped on an unfortunately positioned vine. He rolled down an incline for a bit, luckily the grass made it so he didn’t get hurt. When he stopped moving, he was facing up. He tried to get up again but it wasn’t happening. His limbs just gave up, he couldn’t gather the strength to stand.

It only took Simon seconds to catch up to him and pin him down. Not that it would have mattered, but now he really wasn’t getting out of this.

“Why?!” Simon was starting to cry, unable to control his emotions at this point. “Just why?! Why are you doing this?!”

At that, Mark finally broke down, sniffling and letting the tears he was holding finally roam free.

“We’ve been together since all of this began, so why?! Why are you so distant now?! Why are you avoiding me?!” His voice was cracking, showing that same anger and grief he showed when Rose wasn’t there anymore. “I’ve already lost my sister… I don’t want to lose you too… So why? Please… Just answer me…”

Mark didn’t want to answer. His head was rapidly going through excuses and changes of topic to see if there was any way to escape this situation.

But there wasn’t.

“B-because I have a crush on you, okay?!”

…

“…what…?”