Failure

The void. That was what Mark had in his sight. He wasn’t lying down on anything, but rather floating in the middle of the blackness. It was somewhat peaceful, a small moment of calmness between all the chaos that usually surrounded him.

The moment he tried to stand up, an invisible surface formed below him. It was smooth and cold to the touch, almost like metal, but a lot less slippery. With his feet on the ground, he looked around. There was nothing, just pitch black wherever he looked. Except…

“Dot?” He exclaimed at seeing the Bisharp. He approached her, trying to make sense of the situation. But as soon as he got close enough, a white flash enveloped everything for a portion of a second. When it went away, Dot was gone, being replaced by her bloodied body on the ground.

“N-no!” He stepped back, shaking. More and more bodies were appearing around him, all of the Pokémon he made connections with. And in the end, only one remained.

Simon was kneeling in front of him, tears in his eyes, but without crying. Behind him, there was Arceus. The point of their leg was making contact with Simon’s neck, threatening to push further and end his life too.

“Please… don’t…”

“It doesn’t matter how far you run, human. You can’t hide from me. It doesn’t matter how many lives it takes. If I can get yours, everything will have been worth it.”

Mark was crying, he was stuck in place, forced to watch how the beast in front of him killed his partner. But before anything else could happen, everything went black again.

You shouldn’t be here yet.

“Mark!” That’s the first thing he heard when he woke up. He gasped, sitting up. His breathing was uncontrollable, hyperventilating in search of any small amount of air.

Simon was there, with an expression that looked like he just witnessed someone die. And judging by the hug and the shakiness of his voice that came after, he might as well really have done that.

“Thank god you’re okay…”

“W-what happened?”

“That’s what I should be asking you!” The Squirtle couldn’t contain the tears as much as he tried. “Y-you started gasping for air for no reason! It looked like you were choking!”

He took a bit to control his breath. “Was it… Was it really that bad?”

“Even Rachel took out the force field to yell for help… We genuinely thought we were losing you…”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” Simon tightened the hug. “I’m just glad that you’re okay.”

Mark took the chance to reflect on what he experienced. It was a dream, that much was clear. It wasn’t as vivid as that time he dreamt about losing to Zigg. But also… the voice was there. That was the part that definitely felt real. Maybe it talked to him right after waking up? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t know, anyways.

“I… I should tell Rachel you’re alright. We’re leaving soon, okay?” So he left, leaving Mark alone.

Arceus. That was all he could think about. His team had a literal god going after them, or at least, that’s what he could assume after seeing their power and everyone’s reactions about these ‘Legendaries’. Dialga was dead, so they clearly weren’t the ones doing the loops. If they were, they could’ve reset everything and start another iteration. So that begged the question, was Arceus actually behind all of this? If so, why? What would they gain from restarting his life? Wouldn’t it have been better to kill both him and Simon and be done with it?

Knowing that he wouldn’t get an answer, he shook his head and exited the tent. Just in time for Simon to come back with Rachel, the latter running to see Mark. “My goodness, you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I… I don’t really know what happened…”

“It’s okay, as long as you’re fine, I don’t care. We’ll get Charlie to check you out once we’re back.” She looked around. “Just know that you’ve scared the hell out of us, dude…”

“Sorry…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, just…” She took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m fine now, sorry. We should get going.”

The three of them packed the tent up. Rachel gave everyone some food, and on they went, back to the guild.

The Excadrill took the lead, with the other two following behind. The whole team was tense, understandably so after what they witnessed the day prior. This whole trip was done with the purpose of getting answers, and instead, all they got were more questions. Things just weren’t making sense.

“Mark?”

“Mhm?” His attention went to Simon, who was fidgeting with his fingers.

“Do you mind if I… vent a bit to you? I have a lot in my head right now.”

“Go ahead, you know I’m listening to you.”

“So, first of all, I’m terrified. We’re going against literally the creator of this world. It’s already a miracle that they let us go, we are not surviving against them.” Simon was shaking, everything was taking a toll on him and it showed. “A-and then you had that thing happen to you this morning, I… I’m so scared, Mark… So, so scared…”

“Simon, I-”

“And that’s not even the worst part! Truth is, after yesterday… I’ve been feeling so useless, now. I’m the only one who doesn’t fully understand this whole thing with the cycles, and you even had to save me back there…”

“That’s not-”

“I know… It’s very hypocritical of me to think that way when it’s exactly what I was trying to prevent with you… And that’s honestly been the reason why I’ve been trying to keep it together, because I believe in you in the same way I ‘should’ believe in myself.”

“You don’t-”

“Except believing in myself has been harder and harder as the days keep on, and I can’t stop thinking that all of this is going to go wrong! I can’t let that happen! What would Rose think about that? She would-”

“SIMON!” Mark yelled, shutting up the Squirtle. “Can you let me talk?”

“S-sorry…”

“Look, it’s… it’s normal to feel scared. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t too. The odds are not remotely close to in our favor. And yes, we might die here, but I don’t care, because it’s either that or die some other way and have this whole thing repeat.” He held Simon’s paw. “And after everything that has happened, and the two of us being together, I’m not letting them take that away from me.”

Simon smiled weakly but it quickly went away. “I-I just-”

“I haven’t finished. I understand how you feel, Simon. I was like that some days ago, after all. But then I learned. I learned that it’s not healthy to carry the world on your shoulders. I learned that not everything that happens to me is my fault. I’m doing all I can, I shouldn’t feel bad for giving it my all.” Mark sighed, to think that all of this reflection happened in the span of only a few days. “And you know who taught all of that to me?”

“I did, didn’t I…?”

“That’s right. All I’m going to ask of you is to not make the same mistakes I’ve done. You’re helping me in ways you can’t even imagine, Simon. Having you by my side is all I want.” He tightened the grip on Simon’s paw. “So whenever you think that you aren’t doing enough, ask yourself. Can you really do more? Because most of the time, the answer is no, and you’re already doing everything you can. And you never should feel sorry for that.”

There was a small moment of silence as Simon reflected on those words. “You really know how to lift my spirits up, you know?”

“I better do! If we’re gonna be boyfriends, I’m not letting you get depressed on me. Getting depressed is my thing.”

Simon chuckled, lightly punching Mark on the shoulder. “Good luck doing that with me around.”

“See, that’s the Simon I know and love.”

“I told you you two were adorable.” The two of them looked forwards only to see a smirking Rachel, taking a look at them.

“Rachel! You were hearing all of that?”

“Kinda hard not to when we’re alone in the middle of nowhere. But don’t mind me, just do like I’m not here.”

“Yeah, very funny.”

“I’m just saying! You two are cute together! I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of!”

Mark blushed, but Simon retorted.

“You know what? You’re right. We are a great couple.”

“Simon!”

“What?! She’s not gonna stop, so might as well embrace it!”

“You two are such dorks…” She laughed. It was contagious enough for Mark and Simon to follow through.

It didn’t take long for the day to turn into night, so they decided to camp.

Mark was desperately thinking of a way to distract himself from his own thoughts. Even with everything he just said to Simon, he was really scared. The nagging fear that all of this wouldn’t even matter if he failed. He was going against a deity, someone who could just kill him in seconds. And yet, there were no other options.

“Simon? Do you mind if we, uh… sleep together tonight? Like, cuddle or something?”

Simon’s eyes widened while Rachel tried to contain her giggles. “I-I mean, yeah, sure…”

“I just really need the company right now.”

“I don’t mind, sure.”

When they went to sleep, they did as they said. Mark was happy to have him close, he was more comfortable like this than on every bed he had been on so far. He was the little spoon, but he didn’t complain about it, he needed the support.

Especially because the distraction wasn’t working.