Suman, the Dusclops

I had been awake for an hour at least, but I couldn’t get myself to get up. Today was possibly one of the most important days in my career, the day I would immortalize one of history’s biggest events, one that I lived through.

…And yet, I had no motivation to simply stand on my feet. Not that that was unusual, but it still frustrated me how not even on such a long-awaited day, I could have a decent morning.

The sunlight landing on my face ended up being enough of a nuisance to warrant me getting out of bed. I thought of just closing the window and going back to sleep, but I was up already, I might as well try to use my time.

I got out of the building, mostly to check if there was anything inside my mailbox. I never really got any letters that weren’t related to business, but hey, one could dream.

“Good morning, Suman.”

Of course I would have such bad luck that the one moment I step out, I would have to talk to my neighbor.

“Hey, Sam.” I responded. The Zangoose was looking at me from his own mailbox, but instead of the overly open, laid-back expression I was used to, I encountered a frown that screamed unease. “Anything… Anything wrong?”

“Hm? Why do you ask?”

“Look, Sam. We aren’t friends, not really. But even as an acquaintance, you’re one of the nicer neighbors I’ve had in my life.” I took the one letter I had. “So excuse me for being somewhat worried that you’re not explaining your life to me like you have been doing every morning for the last… what? Two years?”

His brows were kept furrowed, however, perhaps even more than before. “Suman. I’m worried about you.”

“Worried about me? Why?”

“When was the last time you left your house?”

The question took me by surprise, it almost seemed accusatory. “I-I don’t know, I don’t remember, but why is that an issue?”

“Because I’ve been trying to get you to come to one of the neighborhood dinners for three months now. And you always come up with an excuse, saying how ‘you’re too busy with work’ or how ‘you’re really tired today.’ These happen once a week, bud, at some point it can’t be just bad timing.”

That… I couldn’t say anything in response. My silence was obvious enough of a clue for Sam to know that he read me like a book.

“Suman, I know you say we aren’t friends, but I’d argue that we could be if you actually went with us someday. And not only me, but also the rest of the people living here.” He got closer to me, but far away enough to give me space. “Actually. Do you even know anyone around except for me?”

“N-no?”

“And family? Surely you go visit them sometimes, right? Or at least, they visit you?”

“I don’t… have family left.”

He sighed at that. It was clear what he was thinking, we didn’t really know each other, even if we acted like we did. At this point all my energy was gone, and I was trying really really hard to resist the urge to run back inside and ignore all this.

“I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. But in case you’re interested, we’re having another dinner together tomorrow night. I’m not gonna judge you if you don’t come but, you know, I don’t think it’s healthy to stay inside all the time.”

I took a deep breath to calm my head. I just felt… scared, whenever I was around people. As a historian? Sure, I could have conversations. All parties clearly had a goal in mind and that was the focus point. But actual, genuine connections? I had pushed away all my old friends subconsciously in the past. And with my family no longer around, well, I had nobody. It was already a miracle that Sam was patient enough with me to the point that we could simply talk.

My mind was always thinking about what the others thought about me. Suffice to say, I wasn’t looking forward to essentially making a fool of myself in front of a crowd, but Sam was right, and considering how he was the only one that cared, I might as well try, for his sake.

“I’ll… I’ll think about it. And I mean it this time.” I said approaching the door. “Thank you for the talk, Sam. Appreciated it.” He nodded to me and I got in.

For a moment, I just stood there, trying to think about what I had just talked about. It was the first time in ages that someone got me to think about my behavior. And for once, it wasn’t coming from annoyance or frustration. It came from actual affection.

‘It’s okay, Suman. You’ll think about it later. You have a meeting to go through today. C’mon, get a grip.’

I shook my head… maybe with a little more strength than I should have. I had to focus and get ready, my guests would arrive at any minute. Even if the unease in my stomach wanted me to just hide and ignore everything.

I had been doing that for long enough.

I got my set of candles out. With a flick of my fingers, I used Will-O-Wisp to light them up with a small blue flame. It was daytime, but the scent and atmosphere they provided calmed me down.

I was glad to have some time alone before the meeting. Even if it was just a few minutes, I needed time to recharge after that conversation with Sam. I couldn’t tell if it was the social anxiety or me just being an introvert, but it frustrated me that a simple talk tired me so much emotionally.

Before I knew it, a knock on the door took me out of my train of thought. It was time. I went to open it, but only after making sure to inhale and exhale as slowly as I could. I had to try and be professional, after all.

Waiting for me on the other side, were the Cubone and Squirtle that I was expecting.

“Ah, hello. Please, do come in.” I led them inside towards the main room. Internally, I was hoping that the state of the place was to their liking. The rug was old, but along with the candles, I considered the room cozy. “Feel free to take a seat. Do any of you want anything to drink? I have juice, tea, and probably some stronger beverage if that’s your preference.”

“O-oh, uh… Tea would be nice, thank you.” The Squirtle responded while the other kept looking around.

A few moments later, I had three cups of tea ready. I saw my guests sitting around the small table in the living room. Their expressions were strange, they didn’t seem uncomfortable, more like… nervous.

“I hope my appearance doesn’t disturb you, I’ve read that humans usually have a fear reaction to ghost-types.”

“Yeah, ghosts are… different in our world, let’s just say that.” The Cubone spoke. “But don’t worry, one of our best friends is a Gengar, we’re used to it.”

I sat across from them, taking a sip from my tea. I was managing my nerves well so far, I just needed to keep them in check.

“Oh, where are my manners? My name is Suman.” I extended a hand to them, which they shook without hesitation. At least they weren’t going to be difficult to talk to, I appreciated that.

“Well, you probably already know about us, but I’m Simon and he’s my partner, Mark.” The Squirtle said with a slight smile. It was like he could sense my inner doubts and tried to make it easier for me.

“What exactly are we here for? Our Guildmaster didn’t really tell us much.”

“Oh, well, you see… I’m a historian. And while your Guildmaster was kind enough to share the whole story about what happened, I wanted to talk to you to write your thoughts on the matter. Think about it like an interview of sorts.”

“I’m… not sure how to feel about a historian talking about us.” Mark commented. “Are we… are we really that important?”

“You two are part of our history, believe it or not.” I replied, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “You did um… kill our god.”

It was clear by their reactions that they weren’t sure if they wanted to talk about this topic, which I understood, but this was my job.

“I’ll be honest here. I don’t plan on this being easy. If there’s any question or topic you find too uncomfortable to speak about, just tell me. These are your thoughts, so I completely understand if you don’t want to make them public.”

It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened in an interview, especially with important figures. Not that I could blame them, I didn’t even know if I would be able to imprint all my beliefs.

We started slowly, with me asking them how they felt when they first arrived in our world. Their responses were very similar to the ones documented from the other humans, but it was better to repeat information than to omit it. I then asked how Simon first met his adoptive sister. I was expecting him to refuse to answer, it was a sensitive topic, but no, he responded with sincerity.

It was refreshing to have an interview go this well, most others ended in hostility, accusing me of prying into things I shouldn’t. Maybe I was, but how else was I going to write about what happened? They could simply not answer my questions and leave it at that, but they always had to turn against me.

After many answers and awkward moments that they still managed to resolve, it was time for the last question. One that I was saving until the end for a reason.

“So, there have been mentions about a higher being that has helped you, Mark, to go through all of this. Do you think you can explain?”

“I… I’m not sure how I could describe it…” The Cubone started. “It’s like… a different layer of reality altogether, as weird as that sounds. Someone that is able to look at everything happening, and acted when I asked for help.”

That is close to what I had heard from the Guildmaster, and yet, it made little sense to me. Arceus at least had a form that we were able to contact, their powers were unimaginable. But then again, this Cubone in front of me really killed them, so there had to be something stronger.

“I’m not able to talk to them anymore. But I know they exist, the power I was given is enough proof for me.” Mark continued. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they were watching us right now. Not like we would be able to know.”

I instinctively looked to the ceiling, not really expecting anything, but the concern those words triggered in me was real.

“Does this being have a name?”

“No. Because it’s not one being, it’s many.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re not a god, Suman. Or at least, not our definition of a god. They’re simply a being like any other in that layer. The only reason why they’re powerful to us is because of them inhabiting a layer above ours. But between each other? They’re just someone common.” He took a final sip from his tea, letting the cup on the table with a bit more force than I expected. “I contacted many beings while I could, only one of them was able to put a finish to all of this, but they all held the same power. How that power works, however, that I don’t know.”

“I… I see…” I wrote his words letter by letter, but it was still difficult to believe. I shook my head, I couldn’t have an existential crisis in front of my guests. “Well, that was the last question I had for you. I’m sorry if this was more emotionally exhausting than what you were prepared for. I know these weren’t nice memories to relive.”

“It’s okay.” Simon said. “If this makes us have to talk about it less often, I consider it a win.”

Mark nodded, still looking thoughtful. With some parting words, I led them outside. They waved at me and left. And meanwhile I… I just stood there, watching those two walk away and eventually staring at nothing specific.

I didn’t expect that day to be such a rollercoaster in emotions. Between my conversation with Sam, which almost led to a breakdown, and the interview with the two humans, I was at a point that I didn’t know what to think anymore. That urge was back, the urge to close myself off and ignore everything outside my metaphorical bubble. It felt like the easiest solution.

I noticed then that I was trembling, I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

‘Okay, let’s think. Whatever Mark said might be true or false, but it doesn’t matter, you can’t prove it, and it won’t affect your life. You know what will? The dinner tomorrow, so let’s focus on that.’

I went back inside. The candles were still lit, reminding me of the interview. ‘Why is this getting to me so much? Why is this becoming so important to me?’

I did know the answer. I became a historian precisely because of it. The fear of the unknown. I hated not knowing how things worked. And now, there was apparently a whole new layer of beings we knew nothing about, but that we couldn’t ignore its existence either.

I shook my head. ‘Damn it, Suman, focus.’ I’d have time to worry about all of that, but now I needed to focus on the present.

So, even if it was still the afternoon, I put out the candles and I laid in bed. I needed some rest after the confusion today. My thoughts were preventing me from getting any kind of sleep.

Luckily, forcing myself to stop thinking about things was something I was very used to doing.