Chapter 2: The Shapeshifter

“Dad, why is Lucas… um… the way he is?”

I heard recognizable voices coming from outside my room as I played a certain video game on the Nintendo 3DS. I wasn’t paying much attention to it, I was just too focused on playing Smash Bros. However, once I heard my name, I started losing focus on the bot match I played just for fun.

“Well, you know, Arthur, he may be autistic, but as the older brother, you know that-”

“Not what I’m talking about, Dad. I noticed you don’t bat an eye, not because you’re oblivious but ignoring it. I know you noticed it.”

I press pause on the match and start hearing the conversation a bit more attentively.

“The pink hair, the cerulean blue eyes, his fast healing. That’s just not normal…” There was a pause, a silence looming in the air. My brother then spoke again. “Is there something you’re hiding from me?”

A sigh could be heard. “Listen, son. I just want Lucas to live a normal life, so I don’t wanna worry him with these things for now.” Silence again before my dad’s voice could be heard again. “He had some kind of genetic mutation in his DNA that made him like this. I don’t know what happened, but we discovered he was like this since his birth once his hair started to grow.”

I put my gaming device aside and wondered to myself. ‘Genetic mutation…? Does that mean I could be a cool superhero!? Aw yeah!!!’

Suddenly, my brother said. “Wake up, Lucas.”

I tilted my head at that and looked at the door, still not sitting up from my bed. “Huh…? What-?”

“Wake up, Lucas!” My dad said next, causing me to flinch a little. The voices stopped momentarily and I got out of bed, inching for the door.

“Guys…? What are you talking about-”

The door slammed open, revealing darkness on the other side of the room. Suddenly, two people with the head of an eevee with an eyepatch appeared from the darkness, screaming at my face. “COME ON, WAKE UP ALREADY!!!”

---

My eyes snapped open as I jolted awake, getting up immediately while hyperventilating. I tried to recollect my breathing, taking deep breaths to calm myself from the jumpscare that I was starting to forget. A voice surprised me as my eyes started to focus, trying to gather awareness of my surroundings.

“Y-you’re awake…”

I looked at the source of the voice as my vision focused more. I almost flinched once I could see clearly. I saw an IRL fuckin’ eevee . It was just like a normal eevee and it even had an eyepatch- wait a second, I remember this guy from before!

Suddenly, a flood of memories returned to me. Me getting chased around by some assholes, me getting the isekai treatment, meeting the eevee, getting into a fight with a mightyena, getting my arms bitten… after that, everything else was a blur. 

The hell happened before I blacked out? Did the isekai gods save me from getting absolutely mauled by making me super lucky or something? 

“Evon?” I say to the eevee who seemed to be in a defensive stance, he seemed to calm down a little. “That’s your name, right…?” After receiving an unsure nod, I looked at my arms, seeing that the bite wounds had mostly healed, however, some stains of dried blood were visible. “The hell happened when I blacked out?” I looked around, realizing that we were both at the mouth of a cave. “And where the hell are we?”

The eevee tilted his head as he relaxed from his stance. “You… you don’t remember uh… doing that stuff?”

“What stuff? I literally just said I blacked out.” I explained while crossing my arms. “Or else I wouldn’t be asking.”

There was some hesitation coming from Evon, his lone visible eye looking around before sighing. He looked back at me and just said it. “You, turning into Suicune and literally knocking Valtrus cold- like, don’t you remember doing something like that?”

I stared at the eevee as he stared at me after explaining what happened while a breeze went by us, filtering the silence. My arms went limp, trying to think about what Evon said. As crazy as it seemed, my dumbass brain actually thought about the eevee’s words. Me, turning into a fucking legendary and already knowing a move strong enough to one-shot a mightyena. Yeah, that sounded like the average fantasy isekai plot of “Oh look, let’s show the watchers of the show what the main character is capable of doing with his full abilities right on the first or second episode!” And then that power is not shown for literal seasons . 

Was I in an anime? Was I breaking the 4th wall by thinking about this kind of stuff!? 

Better not anger the anime writers anymore and move on to my response to Evon. “Uh… sorry to say this but that sounds like a lot of bullshit. Back in my world, that’s some shit that anime protags would do daily.”

Evon tilted his head. “What in distortion is an anime?”

Fuck, that’s right, I was in an isekai PMD world, and, judging from the way he reacted when he saw my phone earlier, they didn’t have modern tech. Welp, it was time to do my best in explaining what the hell an anime is. “So basically, an anime is a form of entertainment in my world. Think of… moving stories made by a certain group of people.”

“Wait, storybooks can move in your world?” 

Should I boast about the fact that humans are a more advanced civilization than Pokémon? … nah, that’s gonna leave me with a lot of explaining that I wouldn’t want to do. I still needed to get back to the main topic. Me, turning into Suicune…

Suddenly, my ADHD made me just go straight into the Suicune topic. “But seriously though, what the hell makes you think that I turned into Suicune? Like, did I actually do it? If I did so, I would definitely remember it, don’t you think?”

The eevee walked up to me before pointing a paw at me, his expression was a bit more annoyed than before. “But I fucking saw you turning into one. If you didn’t do that, Valtrus would’ve eaten you alive!” That made me take a step back, making me think about Evon’s words for a bit. “Literally, no one was in this area to save us and when you transformed back, I had to drag you to this cave until you woke up!”

With that, one idea entered my mind. A simple idea that many people would call stupid and call me a dumbass child. Try changing into a Pokémon . Sure, that may be impossible because I’m not a ditto or something close, only an internet dweller human but like, what if Evon is right and I gained shapeshifting powers?

I sighed and looked at Evon, putting a hand on my side. “Fine, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.” I lifted a finger, just before Evon tried yipping or wagging his tail for me to believe in him or whatever eevee did. “Bu-bu-BUT! I’m going to test something out real quick. If I can transform into a Pokémon. Any Pokémon actually.” 

Evon sat on his hind legs and tilted his head. “Why don’t you just transform into Suicune again?”

“Well, if you’re right and I do transform into Suicune, I’m probably gonna black out again, so not for now. So I’ll try something easy like…” I pointed at Evon with a smirk. “You for example.”

The eevee blinked before saying a little weirded out, frowning a little. “Well, if you say so.”

I took a few steps back from Evon, swinging my arms and taking deep breaths. I wanted to prove Evon wrong, but like, at the same time, c’mon, who wouldn’t like to transform into a Pokémon for at least for a moment?  

It was time for the moment of truth. I clenched my hands and closed my eyes, trying to think really hard about how an eevee looked like in my head. I was trying to think about every detail of an eevee, the fur, the eyes, the paws, and of course, the tail. And with everything ready and thought, I opened my eyes to find that-! 

Nothing changed… boo-womp.

I looked back at the eevee who looked at me with a surprised face, like he was expecting the opposite to happen. He really thought that I was about to transform? 

I shrugged and put my hands in my short pockets. “So as I said, I can’t transform into Suicune and whatchu saw was prolly’ like… uh… I dunno, pain hallucination from all the damage? Maybe the actual Suicune appeared and-” 

“I know what I saw, I’m not crazy!” Evon said while slamming a paw on the ground. “If you didn’t transform, your guts would’ve been ripped off from your body! Maybe your powers are just…” He looked away, looking like he was a bit unsure of himself. “Recharging or something…”

I stared at him for a moment before sighing. I brushed a fringe to the side and crouched to be somewhat on the eevee’s level. “Buddy, listen up. Humans can’t shapeshift. If that were the case, my world would be miles cooler than it is right now, but here’s the sad fact, it isn’t.” 

Evon sighed. “But I know what I saw… you just…” 

I smirked. “Listen, you might be right. Maybe I gained some cool powers when I entered this world or something. But right now, I’m being skeptical because my own world forced me to be that way. After all, there was a place on my world called the internet where you should only trust claims with evidence.” I got up and stretched my legs and back. “Maybe the evidence will come eventually, we just gotta wait.”

“I see…” Evon said bitterly.

However, the mood of the moment was killed as soon as I spoke again when I realized something. “What the hell was that reassuring talk from me!? Are the isekai gods influencing me to be the good boy, calm and collected protag!? Fuck, get out of my head!” I shouted as I gripped the sides of my head. “I shouldn’t be that, I’m not that! I need to spread the internet’s influence! I need to spread THE MEMES!!! ”

That scared Evon, making him recoil a little. “W-what!?”

I looked back at Evon and realized something, he was still hurt, probably from the bite (of 87) he received. “Oh shit, that’s right you’re still hurt! Unfortunately, the Medic from TF 2 or Mercy from Overwatch isn’t here to heal you up. Want me to carry you to the nearest town slash village?”

Evon stared at me for a second, still trying to process all my rambling. It was expected, some people just can’t handle the power of my references or memes. And this eevee was a grass toucher so he wouldn’t even handle a mere five percent of my power. “I… my legs are fine, I can walk it until we’re at Cavestone Village. Besides, the frostbite wound wasn’t that deep.”

“Okies then, shall we go?” I said, making an exaggerated walking motion but still staying in place.

I could see hesitation on Evon’s face but even then, he nodded. “Alright then…” He started walking but I could hear him muttering something under his breath, probably an insult directed at me- wait, what was I thinking? Of course, he was definitely complimenting me for being such a great friend and partner and for offering to carry him to a clinic (or a vet, whatever it is in this world).

Both of us left the cold cave and felt the warm and humid air of the forest brush through our skin (or fur for Evon’s case). It was then that I made an amazing realization. I was touching grass the whole time in this world. Well, the beach and cave didn’t count but at least for the most part, I was above grass. And with that, I knew that no one had the balls to call me a Discord Mod or a Redditor! 

Ah, also I was a bit hungry, but that didn’t matter for now. 

I kneeled and brushed a hand through some blades of grass. Were they a bit pokey? Yes, but I needed to touch grass as much as possible so as not to be called a fatty no-life person on the net. And after touching the grass, I can finally go back to my beloved games and memes!

The eevee noticed my grass-touching activity and decided not to question it, only looking at me with a weirded-out look. I grinned back at him and he sighed, continuing moving forward. Oh poor Evon, he had no idea that what I was doing was going to change my title to something even better! 

After my grass-touching session, we continued walking. I followed Evon around since it was obvious he knew his place. Not only that, he could detect threats from a lot of places because of his animal- AHEM , Pokémon senses. So basically put, he was my smol little escort. No one had the slightest idea of how much I wanted to scoop him up and hug him like the plushie-shaped creature he was. 

While we walked, surprisingly, Evon decided to speak up. “Tell me. Do you even know about strong Pokémon? Like Suicune? When I talked about your transformation, it seemed that you even knew about it. Do humans even know about obscure Pokémon like them?”

I put my hands behind my head and spoke. “Yep. Not sure what you call them here but we call them Legendary and Mythical Pokémon in my world. We even know about the guy who created your world as well.”

Evon stopped and looked at me, an expression of shock plastered on his face. “You know of the almighty Lord Arceus!? Do you even know what they look like!? ”

“Yes, we do. Sure, there’s a lot of interpretations of them in our world, but like, in most interpretations, they look the same.” I decided not to address what Arceus looks like casually. Who knows if Evon is super religious and he’d kill me for just not addressing his god with proper respect. “Although, I’m not gonna say anything about their appearance.” I turned my head slowly to the eevee, looking at him rather menacingly. “It’s best you don’t know for now…”

That made Evon shiver a little. He then looked back to his front and then continued walking forward. “I-I see…”

I continued following him with a smirk on my face. Sure, I didn’t want to scare him by that much, but it did get me out of a situation that I didn’t want to be in. So uh… I took a half-W for that. 

Not too long after, the eevee already over the slight scare, we both stopped when I saw Evon stop in front of me, his ear twitching and flickering a little. “Do you hear that?” He asked me as he looked around and sniffed the air.

I pause to concentrate on the sounds, and indeed, I heard that. “Sounds like a bunch of fan girls when they are in a show of some celebrity or something.” I waited until the sounds got a bit bigger before. “Oh wait, actually, that sounds like uh… I dunno, what are the noises monkeys do? Chitter? Uh… hissing? No, um… I dunno, sound like monkeys to me.”

“What in distortion are monkeys!? ”

“Uh… Pokémon like mankey, uh, simisears, oranguru. Ya know, like those Pokémon-” Suddenly, the foliage of the trees shook as a bunch of Pokémon made themselves known. And who were those ‘mons? Of course! The three elemental monkey Pokémon, and a lot of them. We had panpour, simipour, pansage, simisage, pansear, and last but not least, simisear.

Just hope they could be not savages or else we were F U C K E D .

I pointed at the monkey Pokémon. “Like those guys.”

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious…” Evon muttered as his tail curled a little. He started to shake in nervousness.

A buff-looking simisage dropped down from one of the trees, landing like he was a damn superhero which would look cool… if he was on our side.  

He took some steps to us and crossed his arms in front of us. He then spoke like a gangster for some reason. “Who do ya think ya brats ‘r tryin’ to waltz into our turf like nothin’?”

I shrugged. “I dunno, I’m new here. Didn’t even know this place had a territory.” I looked at the eevee beside me. “Did you know this place had a territory?” 

The eevee slowly turned to me and nodded. “Y-yes… I kinda forgot…”

“Oh, I see.” I said and then turned back to the grass monkey with the Super Saiyan hair, pointing at Evon with a thumb. “He did. He waltzed into your turf like nothing.”

Evon’s fur went up along with his tail. He looked at me with a surprised face. “LUCAS!”

The simisage closed his eyes and spoke. “I see what’s goin’ on. Ya two walk onto our territory then make fun of us just because ya can!?”

Evon stood on his hind legs and shook his forepaws in front of him defensively. “N-no, that’s not what we want-” 

I interrupted Evon and grabbed him, putting him under my arm to skedaddle out of there. “Sorry Evon but these guys want trouble and I know enough to escape them. So, as the protagonist of a famous anime said…” I turned away and booked it. “NINGERUNDAYO!!!!”

I faintly heard the monkey ‘mon shout something more or less along the lines of “Fuckin’ get ‘em!” Eh, I think it was less exaggerated than that, but my brain was instead thinking of getting out of there before our asses got beaten by the monkey gang. So we kept running, with the constant sounds of angry monkey speech and foliage shaking some meters behind us.

“Do you even know where are you taking me!?” Evon asked with a panicked tone.

“I don’t fucking know! You better know this place and give me directions before we end up in some place we wouldn’t like to be!” I shouted. I sure hoped all this running would make my legs fit enough if we ran into other situations like these because I would be without energy quite soon.

“I dunno, just lose track of them!? Or beat them up with your Suicune form!”

“Oh gee, how I wish I would know how TO TRANSFORM INTO IT!!!” I shouted as I did a 90-degree turn by a tree. 

After a few steps, Evon screamed. “No, don’t go there, that’s a-!”

“L, plus ratio, plus we’re in fucking danger, so I’m going here because I’m desperate!” I shouted as I sprinted even more when I heard the sound of foliage shaking getting closer. My forehead started to get drenched in sweat along with my chest. The humidity of the forest was just not helping.

In front of me, I saw an arc made of rocks and tree branches, suspiciously shaped like the entrance of something. Because of our current situation, I didn’t think too much about it and went through the arc. After passing by it, the sounds of foliage and trees shaking suddenly stopped.

I stopped running, realizing there was an atmospheric shift in the air. It was a bit dry and cold now, giving a slight chill in my skin. It was as if time froze or something similar. “Wah?” I looked around and saw that the way I came from had been blocked, and not only that, it seemed that the forest just shifted into something akin to a dungeon room like the Legend of Zelda or something similar.

Wait a minute, dungeon… oh shit.

“Is this a… is this a mystery dungeon?” I asked, mostly to myself.

Evon wiggled out of my hold, slipping through my arms and falling to the ground. He looked at me a bit- actually, very pissed. He snarled before shouting. “I tried to warn you but you didn’t listen!”

I put a hand on my side and lifted a finger. “Listen, lil’ vee, when panic strikes, you literally ignore everything except for your brain that is telling you to run like a madman in a random direction. And that’s what I did. And look at that, we’re safe! Aren’t you grateful for that?” The only act of gratefulness I received was a bite on my leg from Evon. “Ack! My leg!” I shouted, trying to replicate the voice from that one Spongebob meme. I then looked at my leg, seeing a bite mark with a bit of blood dripping out of it. “The pizza was aggressive…” I muttered to myself before looking at the eevee a bit annoyed. “The hell was that for!?”

The fox-like Pokémon responded angrily with a growl. “That was for you dragging me to all of this stupid mess! You are the most INSANE being I’ve ever seen, and the way you acted with that simisage!” He face-pawed himself. “Ugh! What are you!? A hatchling!?”

I crossed my arms. “Look, it was pretty clear that guy would clobber us no matter the answer. I’ve seen those kinds of people before and I knew the answer would be just to run away at the perfect moment. That’s what we did if you haven’t noticed.” 

“Yeah, but look at where you’ve fucking brought us! This is a Mystery Dungeon if YOU haven’t noticed!” Evon said while slamming a paw on the ground. “You know how dangerous these are!? Oh, wait, I forgot, you are from another world probably full of insane people like you!”

I made a more or less motion with my hand as I explained. “Well there’s not a lot of people like me back in my world… but I’m not insane! I just think better than others!”

Evon stared at me for a moment and sighed, starting to walk away. “I can’t believe Arceus made me get stuck with a weirdo like him…” I could hear him mutter before he turned to me after adjusting his eyepatch. “Come on, let’s just leave this place. Once we’re out of here and I take you to the village, continue with your life, I’m staying as far away from you as possible!”

I limped and thought. ‘What a whiny baby… he could’ve gotten stuck with someone way worse than me. Imagine if he got stuck with a horny furry…’ 

I prevented my brain from thinking further about the scenarios of Evon being stuck with that kind of person. After that, I followed the eevee behind as I muttered to myself. “Alrighty then, suit yourself.”

After walking a couple of steps, a feeling from a couple of minutes ago intensified and made itself more present than before. What was the feeling? Hunger of course! I still haven’t eaten anything ever since coming to this world. 

I opened up my backpack and searched it thoroughly. I felt my notebook, my pencil case, my Bluetooth earbuds, and yet, no snack. “The fuck…? I swear I fucking brought a Pringles can!” I groaned and put my backpack away. I looked at Evon, who seemed to be looking at me unamused. I sheepishly smiled at him and rubbed the back of my head. “So… you feelin’ hungry…? Pretty sure I am.”

“So what? Just find some berries or fruits to eat. This is a mystery dungeon, there’s loads of them.” The eevee responded bitterly, however, he grimaced once he heard the growl coming from his belly. He stopped walking and sighed. “Please tell me you at least know how to find food in the wilds.” I shook my head rapidly. “Fine, I’ll look for food for the both of us…”

“Thank yoouuuu!!!” I shouted as I went to Evon to pet him, but I pulled my hand away, narrowingly avoiding another bite.

“Don’t.” He growled as he started walking away. “Stay here, it’ll be quick.”

With that, I saw the eevee walking away, sniffing the air as he was probably searching around for food. I thought about going after him and helping him with the foraging, but it was probably best to do as he said and not anger him further. I already pissed him off enough with my actions. 

I wouldn’t worry too much, after all, it takes some time until a normie adapts to THE MEMES .

I sat on the grass and instantly had an idea. I pulled my phone out of my pocket (thankfully, it didn’t fall out of it while I was knocked out cold) and decided on a funny idea. I turned it on and opened the camera app. I put on selfie mode and started recording. WhatsApp and Instagram stories weren’t available at the moment so a video for later would suffice once I got a signal… somewhere. “Yo guys, I got something awesome to tell!” I got up and started walking and turning aimlessly, trying to show more of the scenario. “You guys won’t believe where I am right now. I got isekaid and now I’m in a PMD world! Like, lots of people will be jealous of my situation right now!”

I started walking around, completely ignoring Evon’s demand. It was okay, a quick walk wouldn’t hurt, besides, all that loud shouting from a certain angy lil’ loaf would’ve alerted some presence so far. “Now, this may look like a totally random forest from our world, but here’s the thing, it’s not and I’m gonna prove it! Just wait until a lil’ brown and angy sac of fur appears and-”

I interrupted myself once I saw from my camera some leaves shaking and some bioluminescent pink-red eyes coming out of them. From the foliage came a small and messy-looking sprigatito. I turned around and flipped the camera, pointing at it. The look on its face told me everything I needed to know. It was a cat. It was cute. It was everything it needed to force my body to go to it and pet it. “Holy shit… IT’S SO CUTE!!!”

The sprigatito (more commonly known as the weed cat) tilted its head and let out a small mewl of confusion. It didn’t speak, meaning that this one was probably not as intelligent as all the other Pokémon I’d encountered before. It also meant that the infamous cat caller would probably work!

I crouched down, kneeling with one knee as I tried to call the cat while recording it all. “Come here lil’ kitty, come here! Pspspspspsps!” My endeavor seemed to be working because the sprigatito was approaching me slowly, keeping its curious stare. I continued doing the hand motion while talking on the phone. “See guys? Told ya! This is a Pokémon, because who here knows a cat like this? And this smell I’m feeling! Just like the Pokédex says!”

The sprigatito got close enough to me and sat on the ground, its tail gently swaying back and forth. Petting range was finally achieved and with that, I could finally-!

“LUCAS, WHAT IN THE NAME OF ARCEUS ARE YOU DOING!?” 

My attention, just like my phone camera, was shifted to the side, making me look at the familiar voice that just shouted. It was Evon, the eevee dropping some berries that he was carrying with his mouth and immediately starting to growl. “Get away from that sprigatito now!”

“What- why!?” I asked confused as I looked back at it. “I just wanted to pet it-” I interrupted myself when I saw the sprigatito snarling and unsheathing its claws. “Wuh-” The weed cat suddenly pounced at my chest, making me fall back and drop my phone. Before I could try to pick up the cat and throw it away, it started scratching my face, more specifically my cheeks, and mouth. “Gah!”

“Ugh, just hold on a moment, I’m coming!” I could hear Evon say as he approached quickly.

Meanwhile, I picked the sprigatito up and did something I could never dream of doing unless in a very specific situation such as this one. I threw it away from me. “Get away from me, YEET!” The cat landed on its paws, because of course, why not, then reminded me that it wasn’t a normal cat by preparing a grass-type attack using its neck scruff. I scrambled for my phone and got up before the sprigatito could release the attack. “Watch out!” I heard Evon shout while I rolled away from the storm of glowing leaves projectiles.

I look back at the snarling, angry sprigatito. I flipped it off. “Well, fuck you too then, you ass!” I got back up and stopped recording, putting the phone away. “Well, I’ll deal with it, it’s small and I can deal with a couple of scratches and paper cuts.” I say with some drops of blood dripping from my cheeks and lips.

Evon grimaced as he looked at me in concern. He was definitely worried about me, trust. “Unless you can turn into, I dunno, Suicune, I don’t see you winning this.”

“Wow, your faith in me is off the charts…” I said while rolling my eyes. I then looked at the sprigatito and grinned. “Just watch!” I said before taking off my backpack and putting it aside on the ground. 

The sprigatito lunged, preparing another Scratch as I lunged at him as well. When he jumped to slash my face, I surprised it with a quick punch in the gut. I would’ve felt bad and immediately regretted it if this was a normal cat, but this wasn’t, and this punch was almost nothing to a creature who could resist explosions from superpowers. Proof? So yeah, when I punched it, it just staggered a bit, falling on the ground and shaking its head. 

Like it was stopped by nothing but a really strong breeze.

“Wow, such a strong being you are…” I could hear Evon reply sarcastically, making me look at him and see him check on his paws.

I replied angrily. “Oh come on! At least I HIT it!” I looked back at the sprigatito and it seemed to hiss at me. It then shot more of those sharp glowing leaves at me. I didn’t know if it was using either Leafage or Leaf Storm. I tried to dodge it by sidestepping, but unfortunately, some leaves caught me, cutting one of my arms, legs, and even some of my clothes. “Ngh!” I gripped my arm from the pain, however, I didn’t worry too much, it’d heal soon anyway. “Alright, now you’re pissing me off, pussy cat!” 

I tried shrugging off the sting of the cut, letting the adrenaline rush through my body as I charged at the sprigatito. Before it readied another attack from its neck scruff, I did my best and kicked it, sending it flying a few feet away. “Heh! How does that feel-!” I cut myself off when I saw the cat doing a backflip, correcting itself in the air and landing normally. It spat a little bit of blood. “Oh fuck off-”

Suddenly, the sprigatito moved from its spot, becoming nothing more than a blur to the naked eye. I couldn’t do anything except just stay perfectly still as the weed cat tackled me in the gut, making me fall backwards. “You’re seriously not letting a base evolution Pokémon just take you on alone like that and win, right?”

I coughed a little bit as the pain in the gut receded a bit. “Oh my fucking god, I’m about to lose to a level ten or below sprigatito in broad daylight, what the fuck man…” As much as it pained me to do this and my dignity, I sighed and twirled my finger before making a pulling motion with a raised hand. “Evon, crush his skull, thank you.”

The eevee tilted his head in confusion but eventually assumed what I wanted. “Oh, finally gave in? Alright, I’ll take care of this guy.” He said with a roll of his eyes. Wow, what a reliable partner he is, always loving when he takes all the credit and saves the day.

Well, jokes on him, I did more work than him! He was just stealing the show!

“Hey, you!” Evon called the attention of the sprigatito, the hissing cat turning to the eevee… who was charging a shadow ball. “Eat this!” Evon released the ball of darkness directly at the sprigatito, leaving no room for it to dodge. It hit the weed cat, exploding on its face and knocking it a bit away. Once the smoke cleared, I could see the spriga lying on the ground unconscious, its body bleeding a bit. Evon entered a relaxed stance as he adjusted his eyepatch. “No problem.”

I stared at the eevee, blinking a bit before dusting myself off. “I call hacks.”

The eyepatch-wearing eevee tilted his head as he saw me getting up. “What- you know what? I’m not gonna even try to understand your insane human dialect anymore.” He started walking away before having one more thing to say. “Eat your food, I already had my fill.”

I grabbed my backpack and put it on. I then looked at the berries that Evon brought and walked to them, crouching down to analyze them further. The eevee brought two oran berries, however, as I looked more at them, my excitement in eating the previously thought made-up food vanished. Splotches of dirt were seen all around the surface of them, along with some black spots on their leaves and peel, not to count that they looked unripe as well. Because of this, I asked myself. ‘Am I… am I about to allow a bunch of viruses and potentially dangerous bacteria to live inside my body?’

My stomach rumbled and growled again.

“… fuck it, we ball.” I grabbed the two fruits and shoved one of them into my backpack while I kept the other in my hand. I stared at it for a moment, hesitating if I should really ball it or not. But, as the gigachad that I am, I didn’t complain and took a bite out of it (on one of the more clean spots). After chewing a little bit and gulping it, I realized that it wasn’t that bad. Not like, the best thing that I tasted, in fact, it was one of the worst things I tasted, BUT, it wasn’t all that bad. 

The best I could describe the taste was an actual blueberry without, like, the sugary bits. But well, it was expected since the berry was unripe.

“Eh, could’ve been worse. I could be eating Pokémon shit to satisfy my hunger if I was that desperate…” I said to myself as I started walking after Evon, finishing eating the rest of the berry in the meantime. 

While walking behind the eevee, I stared at the cut wounds I received in my embarrassing battle against the weed cat, seeing that the cut wounds magically disappeared, just leaving the blood covering the newly-mended scars. It was then that I remembered something about oran berries. “Oh yeah… heh, those heal wounds, don’t they?”

“Let me guess, your kind knows of the berries here?” Evon asked, looking back at me a bit in curiosity. At least he wasn’t seething that much from anger anymore. Maybe just watching me get my ass whooped by that cat was all the payback I needed for him to not be pissed off at me.

I put a hand in my pocket. “Yeah. One thing my kind loves having is knowledge. So we know a lot about these worlds, but like… erm… we don’t really build the tools needed to prepare ourselves better for them since we can’t travel to them. Apparently, I am an exception.”

“This makes me wonder. How did you come to our world and why?” The eyepatch-wearing eevee asked, a frown present on his face.

I lifted a finger. “Firstly, I dunno. Secondly, I dunno.” I saw Evon’s grumpy expression return to his face. But honestly, thinking about it now… when I got isekaid, a certain voice was giving me directions. Hmm… probably just the typical isekai voice that asks the human protag for help to save the world and all that jazz. “But then a random voice in my head was speaking to me during that time, so they may be the cause.”

“Random voice in your head… seriously?” The eevee asked skeptically.

“I’m not making shit up. I might be a little crazy, a little bit autistic even, but I swear that I heard someone speaking to me.” 

“Well… alright then.” The eevee turned his head forward, ending the conversation right then and there.

Honestly, I should’ve been thinking about why I was sent here or who was the voice that supposedly sent me here. But like… knowing certain isekai stories, I didn’t think that voice won’t be lore dumping my purpose here anytime soon. Well, my best bet was discovering all that saving the world business by asking not only the inhabitants of this world right beside me or village folk when I reach the village. 

I decided to rip the band-aid off right now by asking Evon right away. “So Evon, gotta ask. Is this world-”

Before I could finish my question, a bird screech interrupted me, forcing me and Evon to look at the source of the horrible noise. Coming down from the sky, a staravia landed on the ground, not only that, but it had a partner as well. A rather fat skwovet descended from a tree trunk and stood beside the bird.

Double battle, huh? Welp, time to suffer on brainstorming how to defeat a fatty squirrel and a bird that wanted us out of its territory.

“So like… what now?” I asked while scratching my cheek. “Can you deal with this alone?”

Evon got into a battle stance, raising his rear akin to a pouncing stance. “I’ve dealt with worse than this, don’t worry. I can win this… I think.” 

I grimaced. “You think ?” 

I couldn’t protest more because of another bird screech coming from the staravia, shifting our attention to it just in time so we could dodge a glowing Wing Attack from the bird. I jumped back and rolled on the ground from the whirlwind released by the attack. I looked at Evon who was growling at the bird. “You little-! Take this!” 

As the eevee tried shooting the bird with his Shadow Balls, the staravia dodged them all, just drifting around and twirling its body around like a damn mosquito. Unfortunately, I could do nothing to help Evon since, ya know, the bird was in the air and all. Also, I had another problem to deal with, and I could feel my problem crawling quickly on my leg. 

The fatty (and now closer to it, kinda stinky and dirty) skwovet got to my belly, highlighting its upper sharper teeth. I knew what it was about to do so I quickly grabbed it before it could bite me, lifting it up by its tail. “Nuh-uh!” I said to it as I saw the little squirrel squirm and struggle against my hold. “Honestly, I don’t get why many people think your design is mid, I like your concept, and honestly, IRL, you’re kinda cute-” Then, the smell emanating from the skwovet worsened, making me cringe. “Actually, fuck off, you smell like shit!” I dropped the squirrel right on my foot and kicked it as far away as possible, a shriek sounding through the air.

“Lucas!”

I turned to look at Evon, who was getting hit around by the glowing wings of the bird, a bit of fur flying off from his body as more cuts made themselves present on his body. “A little help would be appreciated !”

My eyes widened before I started running to the poor and defenseless eevee who needed help from a knight in shining armor. I might not had armor, but my splendor was all I needed. Was I gaslighting myself? For sure I was!

I got close to the staravia and Evon and shouted at the bird. “Yo, flying shit machine!” I felt the bird shift his eyes at me even though it was flying in circles around the fox-like Pokémon. “How about you start pickin’ up on the real guy who can beat the shit out of you?” I ask while pointing a thumb at myself. “The guy who knows a thing or two about… uh… how to do your mom? Fuck, that joke was terrible- Gah!”

I narrowingly dodged a dive attack from the staravia with its glowing wings. From the way that bird went at full speed, I was pretty sure that attack would be fatal. And with that, I realized something. I was in deep shit.  

I looked at Evon, who was beginning to stand up again, even with the cuts on his body. It seemed that he still had the energy to fight. But my hope of us winning this fight dwindled a little once I saw the fucking stinky squirrel back with its cheeks more filled up than before. It seemed that it was preparing something bad. ‘Are we in trouble?’

There is a chance you get out of this situation…

I looked around quickly as my ears picked up a strange and familiar voice… wait a fuckin’ second. “It’s you! Who are you-”

If you want to get out of this, listen to me without thinking about it too much. 

“Lucas!? What are you talking about!?” I could hear Evon say, but I ignored him, focusing on the voice and the two approaching threats.

“Just say it already!” I demanded a bit hastily, feeling pressured by everything going on a bit too fast.

Alright, all you need to do is simply calm down and think… what would be very useful right now? And what would be the best Pokémon to do it? Think about that Pokémon with as much detail on your mind as possible, but I would recommend you think of smaller ones for the job for now.

Think of a Pokémon? What the hell was this voice talking about? Better question, was it just fucking with me?  

Welp, I didn’t have time to think about questions like these. If this was the isekai god of this world that supposedly brought me here for some unknown purpose, I needed to follow their guidance or something if I wanted to survive out here. And hey, maybe it gave me a cool power to summon the Pokémon like a Jojo stand to help me out in battle!

So with that, I cleared my mind and thought about what would be useful for the current situation. Definitely, a Pokémon that specializes in projectiles so that stupid bird rolls into a different projectile. Hmm… that skwovet was annoying, I wanted to burn it so… a fire type would be good. But which one… eh, Fire Red showed that charmander is a good starter. After all, if the voice wants me to use the small ones, I better use them and not go overkill with Groudon or something.

Alright with that out of the way… what now-

Now imagine you AS the charmander you’re thinking about now.

… W H A T???

JUST DO WHAT I SAY, DAMMIT!!!

“Alright, alright chill!” I shouted which seemed to aggravate the threats even more, making them rush to us fast. Just as I saw Evon starting to rush to them in the corner of my eye, I felt time stop when I cleared my head completely and the only thing that filled my head was a charmander- no, it was not just a random charmander. It was imaginative me in the body of a charmander shooting flames and more flames at stupid Pokémon who got in my way.

Suddenly, a pink glow filled my vision, blinding me as I felt my body shift and twist in weird ways. I felt my entire body shrink a little bit, my skin grew some smooth but also dry outer skin, my fingers changed shape and shrank and my toenails enlarged and changed. I felt my entire head be covered with that weird dry skin, and my head shape suffering major changes as well. Painfully, the teeth in my mouth reshaped and realigned weirdly in a way I couldn’t describe, along with my insides as well. The weirdest part is that I felt something coming out slightly above my rear as well, elongating itself like a new limb, not only that, I could feel a tingling sensation at the tip.

It felt painful and agonizing, but for some reason, I couldn’t scream or shout in pain, only embrace it. 

“Lucas!?”

I heard Evon’s voice right before the pink flash ended. My vision returned to me and I looked around desperately. Okay, first things first, I was still in the same place as before, I wasn’t suddenly teleported to some other place, but… everything felt bigger for some reason. Secondly, everyone, even the dumb bird and shit-smelling squirrel was still there, but it appeared that everyone was recovering from some sort of flashbang. Thirdly, my body felt weird, SUPER weird.

Was I supposed to have an arm right above my ass? No, I didn’t think so. And why the fuck my ass felt like the armpit of said new arm???

I looked down at myself and received a body jumpscare from what I saw. Orange and cream-colored scales filled the place of my skin, small arms, and legs replaced my normal human arms and legs, my fingers changed to claws, and a fuckin’ tail with a flame at the tip could be seen. I looked down at my hands and flexed my small claw fingers. “… no way… no fucking way…” I realized my voice was a bit different as well, a bit more scratchy.

Evon looked at me and stuttered. “I… I was right! You COULD transform into Suicune! Not only that but other Pokémon as well!” 

I stayed in silence for a moment, flexing my claws from the shock. However, as the shock slowly backed away, a grin slowly made its way into my face and I giggled a bit. “Holy shit… this isekai became ten times more cool !” I clenched my claws before pointing at the two opposing Pokémon. “Yo bitches, prepare to get your asses roasted!”

The staravia screeched at us before flying higher and preparing for the assault. “Alright, not sure why you can change into a different Pokémon but please, don’t be a hindrance.”

“Like I’ll ever be!” I said excitedly before noticing the skwovet try rushing up to us. “I’ll take care of it quickly, I’ll help you with the staravia once I get my revenge on this little stinker!” I said before starting to rush to the squirrel… only to trip and fall on my face, my reptilian muzzle getting squished on the ground. “Goddammit, small legs!!!”

I could feel Evon groan and roll his eyes at my Top 10 funny internet falls. “Hope you can adapt to your new body quickly…”

I quickly got up, just in time to see the skwovet right in front of me, preparing to bite one of my small legs. I twirled away from the bite and flicked my new tail at it, bitch-slapping it on his cheeks. “Oh no you don’t! Not tasty at all!”

I then felt a certain urge to use my claws, not to punch it, but to slash it. I raised my arm and felt a certain surge of power rushing through my arms and then my hand, only intensified at the tip of my fingers. I then brought it down on the squirrel’s body, scratching it with my claws and drawing out a bit of blood. The squirrel got launched a bit away, falling on its back.

I looked at my claws, seeing a certain white shine escape from one of them and being replaced with a bit of blood. “Damn… this shit’s awesome!” Although I needed to make sure I didn’t hit any vital point, I wouldn’t like to be the cause of death for anyone.

My attention was snapped back to the skwovet once I heard a small squeak of anger. I saw a scratch mark on its chest a bit, realizing that I was the one that did it and also realizing that my claw was now smelling like shit from scraping it into the fat squirrel’s fur. I would wash it deeply later, but for now, I had to survive the shit smell. 

Suddenly the skwovet’s cheeks inflated even more like he was prepared to launch- oh shit.

As I realized earlier, I managed to dodge the nuts and seed bullets the skwovet spat from its mouth. However, he did manage to scrape some of my scales off with a very sharp seed. I didn’t know what came over me to make me growl from the pain. I just hope these new bodies didn’t make me act completely like an animal. “Just so you know shit squirrel, I’ve played the sweatiest shooter games known to man! So I know how to deal with projectiles (I hope)…” 

I imagined what breathing fire would be like in IRL, so I tried it. I sucked up a bunch of air from the new slits in my face that I call nostrils and felt something building up in my chest. Instead of burning me from the inside out, it felt warm and felt like no harm to me. But instead of keeping it in, I decided to push it out, with a big blow from my mouth. Instead of shooting out air, I shot a freaking fireball! Guess where it was heading!

The fire-fucking-ball flew directly to the skwovet, impacting it and launching a burst of sparks from the impact. For me, it felt like I was launching the greatest fire attack known in the history of Pokémon kind, but in reality, it was probably the weakest fire attack a fire ‘mon could do… but hey, it got the job done, now that shit smell was replaced with smoke.

I saw the squirrel lying unconscious on the grassy and dirty ground, with smoke, and the smell of burnt fur coming out of it. I grinned and did the best victory sign I could with my claws, imitating the Final Fantasy XII victory theme as best I could. “Hell yeah, my first opponent was beaten!”

“LUCAS, STOP FUCKING AROUND AND HELP ME OUT HERE!!!”

I turned around and saw Evon getting tossed around by the staravia’s relentless attacks. I noticed that some burnt feathers and blood were coming out of the bird, signifying that the eevee managed to damage it a bit. Keywords: a bit. “Hold on, I’m coming!”

I rushed to the scene to help, this time, being mindful of how short my new legs were so I didn’t trip like a clumsy mess again. While running, I prepped another fireball in my chest before releasing it into the air, aiming at the bird. However, I missed it completely, only making the bird’s attention turn to me. 

I gritted my teeth as I saw it looking at me, nervousness starting to crawl at my skin (or scales). However, I still had it in me to quip. “Hehe, ready for round two, birb?” 

Evon mustered the strength to look at me and regain a bit of his composure as the staravia descended again, readying another Wing Attack. I decided to shoot another fireball at it since I wanted to take advantage of that it was heading straight to me. I didn’t need that much wind-up as before since I was growing used to blowing them (there goes the context). I shot the fireball at the bird, hitting it in the face, however… it wasn’t enough to stop its descent.

“Shit!” I shouted before the staravia crashed into me. We both got onto a rolling mess, me gripping onto the bird white it bit into my shoulder likely trying to do the same. I felt my tail getting crushed a bit when I hit the floor. The world was spinning too much for me, so I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to kick it off. “Fuck… off!”

Eventually, we both rolled to a stop but we were still struggling with each other like wild animals fighting for dominance over each other. It removed its beak from me but it clenched its talons around my legs as it tried to peck me with its now glowing white beak. Thankfully, I reacted fast and dodged some of the pecks, however, a Peck successfully hit my belly making me scream in pain. 

Since my guard was dropped, the bird was preparing to do another one, however, an explosion of darkness happened mostly around the bird, releasing me from its grasp. I rolled onto my back, gripping my stomach and legs from the pain while gritting my teeth. I looked at the source of the explosion and saw Evon panting a little bit as dark wisps floated around his mouth. I mustered all my strength to grin and do a thumbs up to the eevee. “Epic…!”

Suddenly, Evon shouted. “Lucas, watch out!”

My eyes widened as I looked to the other side and saw a bloodied staravia come after me with its wings glowing a light-blue glow, running with its talons. Desperately, I got up on all fours and prepared another fireball on my chest, building up more power at the tip of my mouth. I didn’t know what I was doing, like seriously, what the fuck was I thinking? I only knew one thing.

Colonel Sanders would thank me for this.

I shot the bird the biggest Ember (I think) I’ve done so far, literally engulfing the staravia in flames. Feathers and sparks of ember flew as the fireball impacted the bird, a smell of sulfur and burned feathers permeating the air. The staravia stayed still for a silent moment before collapsing on the ground unmoving, but still breathing.

Evon and I stared at the collapsed bird for a solid second before I muttered. “We won…” I dropped my stance and rolled onto my back. I didn’t even have the energy to do any memes or quips, I was literally just exhausted. “Holy fuck, we won.”

The eevee groaned in tiredness and dropped to his side. “Somehow… Arceus, I’m so rusty at this and I’m not that old…” Suddenly, the eyepatch-wearing eevee received a massive boost of energy before he trotted to me and had his face right close to mine, a musky with a scent of iron entering my nostrils. “Do you see now? You CAN transform into Pokémon!”

I stared at Evon and said. “Wanna kiss me or what? Awfully close, ya know-”

Suddenly (and expectantly), the eevee clawed my face and got away from me. If he didn’t have fur, I would definitely see a blush of embarrassment. “I can’t with you! Ugh, like, what is LITERALLY wrong with you? Why are you… ngh! Like that!”

I got up and dusted myself, grinning afterwards. “As the lord of the funny, I must retain my title. No matter which form I am. Speaking of forms…” I looked down again, flexing my claws. “This shit is so fuckin’ lit, for real! I get to be a Pokémon and got to breathe literal FIRE!” I looked at my tail, wagging it to see it in motion. “The people in my world would be dreaming of this outcome!” Suddenly, an idea popped into my mind. “Hol’ up, I thought of an awesome reference to do next time I spit fire!”

“You just…” Evon sighed, having seen there was no point in arguing with the argument master here. He then turned away and looked back at me. “Let’s just leave this place, alright?”

“Alright, just let me transform back!” I said before I closed my eyes and waited for my body to feel weird because of the transformation, however… nothing happened. I opened my eyes and looked at my body, starting to get a bit nervous. “Huh…?” 

The eevee tilted his head. “What’s wrong? Can’t turn back to human anymore?”

“N-nope, I just uh… don’t know how to turn back… for now. I’ll figure it out on the way, no worries!” I said sheepishly before running a bit ahead. “Come on, let’s leave before more dungeon enemies pop up. I still need to wash my hands from that skwovet that I slashed earlier.”

“If you say so…” Evon said before starting to follow me behind.

Fortunately enough, we were blessed by a rather quiet dungeon. No Pokémon jumped at us, and the few that spotted us ran away. It was weird since they were a fair distance away, but it felt like some primal fear tugged them directly by their souls, forcing them to run away at the slightest sight of us. Sure, most of them were bug types and if they behaved like the bugs in my world, understandable, but some of them were grass types as well…

Well, I’m currently a fire type so the fear is super understandable.

It wasn’t long until Evon and I passed through another perfectly round arc that was the exit of the dungeon. And just like that, the air around us returned to being humid and the temperature rose a bit more. However, I didn’t mind it much since I was a fire type and wasn’t wearing clothes… wait a second.

“Hold on, I just realized!” I said, calling the eevee’s attention as I looked down. “Where are my clothes? Or my backpack for that matter?!”

“Well… when you turned into a Suicune earlier as well, everything you wore seemed to disappear until you turned back into a human. Maybe… the items are stuck on your human form?” Evon suggested.

I scratched the side of my reptilian head and thought about it. “Uh… guess that’s a thing.” I wiped my forehead even though there was no sweat. “Phew, thank God, I thought I lost everything down to my phone.”

Evon ignored what I said for now and took a look around the area. “Wait, this area seems familiar… yeah we’re on the right track.” Evon said before looking at me. “Follow me, Cavestone village is close by.”

“Right behind you, foxy!”

A sharp stare one-eyed came from the eevee. “Cut it with the nicknames, we’re not friends. You’re just with me until we’re at the village, hope your insane human mind remembers that.”

“Well… I don’t think ADHD would take that kindly…” I said while fiddling with my claw fingers, looking away with a sheepish smile.

“What is even- actually never mind, let’s just go…” With that, Evon started walking, with me trailing behind him. What a silly, in isekai anime like these, the protag always befriends the grumpy dudes! … shit, was I breaking the 4th wall again!?  

I really needed to stop doing that before an angry isekai god who tells these stories to manga artists comes down to me and strikes me dead on the spot.