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    The Beach Cave was dark and musty as Lexxi and Rickety ventured deep inside, the light from the entrance gradually fading away, their only visibility granted by the, thankfully, abundance of holes in the top of the cave, allowing beams of light to shine through just enough to illuminate the cavernous depths.

    Every step they took seemed to echo faintly, bouncing around the walls of the labyrinthian caverns, only coupled by the sounds of the dripping stalagtites spread across the ceiling into the little puddles that lined the pathways.

    “Sooooo…” Rickety glances down at Lexxi as the two of them continue to explore the caverns. He tilts his head to the side a slight bit, as if to examine her. “You said you’re supposed to be a human, right? How can you know for sure if you don’t remember anything?”

    Lexxi slows down a bit, eyebrows furrowing as she tries to really think. “…I dunno, I just feel it in my gut. Like it’s the one precise thing I know for sure, that I’m not supposed to be like this.” She lets out a huff, picking her pace back up. “I wish I knew why I turned into a Pokemon, but couldn’t I have least turned into something else?”

    Rickety can’t help but muffle out a laugh from the way Lexxi speaks that last part aloud, arching an eyebrow as a playful smile crosses his lips. “What? You don’t like being a cat?”

    “I could’ve turned into anything else!” She pouts, pushing her lower lip out as her muzzle scrunches up. “I could’ve become a Rhyhorn, I could’ve become a Gyarados, I could’ve become- I don’t know, anything with opposable thumbs? Anything that walks on two legs? Anything that doesn’t have tiny little stumps for limbs?”

    “Mobility problems, huh?”

    Another huff, the little kitty cat shaking her head. “Humans weren’t meant to walk on four legs.”

    Rickety muffles out a quiet chuckle to him. “You’ll get used to it, I’m sure. You seem to have gotten the whole walking thing down, at least.” The Riolu peeks around the corner, eyes sweeping over the open area. He gestures for Lexxi to keep on moving along, confirming it’s safe. “It’s interesting that you mention becoming a human, though. I think I remember hearing about something similar…”

    “You do?” Her ears perk up with immediate interest, rounding the corner and glancing up at Rickety. “You mean I’m not the first?”

    “I don’t think so?” He shrugs. “I think I vaguely recall hearing about another human that got turned into a Pokemon a long time back in a place further away from here. A Cyndaquill, if I remember correctly.” He scratches at his head as he keeps walking, eyebrows furrowing. “I don’t exactly remember all the details, though. Might not even be a real story, it’s been passed down so long that a lot of details have been lost to time.”

    So there’s a chance she might not be the first human to become a Pokemon? Well that’s… Reassuring, she supposes? “I’m not sure how that helps me, but at least it seems like there’s more to this than I thought. You think-“

    “Hold up.” Rickety stretches an arm out and Lexxi stops dead in her tracks. He peers around another corner, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Corsola patrolling the area. Pokemon get really territorial in places like this, so I doubt they’re willing to cooperate. Seems like it’s the only way forward, though…”

    Hmm. That does present a bit of an issue. Sure, two Pokemon could easily overpower one Pokemon, but neither of them are too experienced in fighting, are they? Lexxi glances down, her stump resting on top of a rather large pebble. She grabs it, lifting it up. It’s got a decent bit of heft to it. Maybe… “Rickety, I have an idea. Lemme try something?”

    “Huh? Uh- Sure.” Rickety scoots himself over to the side a bit to give Lexxi some more room to peek around the corner.

    Keeping the rock tightly held, Lexxi peers around the corner and keeps her eyes locked on the Corsola moving back and forth. She winds her leg back and then tosses the large pebble with all her might!

    THUNK

    It hits the Corsola right on the head. The pokemon seems to stumble around a little bit, dizzy from the impact, but eventually, it collapses to the ground, passed out and unconscious. Lexxi can’t help but smirk a little bit to herself. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all. She glances back up at Rickety and nods with a smile. “Problem solved. Let’s keep going.”

    “Wuh… Heh, I could’ve thought of that.”


    A clearing! One that leads an a more open part of the cave, a small shore by a pool of water with sunlight peaking through the ceiling. And who better to be at the end of the road than the two thieves themselves? They were snickering amongst themselves, probably discussing what they were going to do with what they’d stolen. Their attention is caught when they hear that same mutt they’d stolen from calling out to them.

    “H-Hey!” Rickety shouts as her runs up close to them, stopping just a few feet away as Lexxi runs beside him. There’s a shakiness in his voice, his fists are trembling as his paws ball up.

    The two thieves turn to the source of the voice, then glance back at themselves, snickering once again as their lips curl up into sneering smirks, more noxious gas pouring from the Koffing’s orfaces as his laughter bellows. “Oh ho ho! Well, look what the cat dragged in.” Lexxi gives a disapproving glare at this remark.

    “That’s, err… That’s mine! That’s my personal treasure!” Rickety takes another step forward, a paw pointing right at them. “And you’re going to give it back to me right now, or… Or else!”

    “Or else what?”” The Zubat sneers, wings flapping mockingly. “You gonna cluck and bawk at us like the chicken you are?”

    Rickety’s fists only tighten, a low growl escaping his throat.

    “Say… If this thing really is a treasure, maybe it’s more valuable than we thought.” The Koffing grins as he side-eyes his partner.

    “Oh yeeeeaaaahhh, that’s right! I bet the Kecleon Brothers would trade a lot of money for it! Maybe even more money than a gold ribbon! All the more reason not to give it back. Heh heh heh!~”

    Unconsciously, Lexxi’s tail begins to puff out, the fur covering it becoming rather rough and prickly as the three orbs on her tail spread out slightly. “You wouldn’t dare.”

    The Koffing chuckles lowly, that smirk never once leaving his face. “Maybe we would dare, missy. Maybe we wouldn’t. Only way to be sure is to take it back. After all, you do want it back, right?”

    “Well, if you want it back that badly…” The Zubat’s wings flare out, flapping harder as he begins to divebomb down towards Lexxi. “Come and get it!”

    Lexxi barely even has time to react, but as if on instict, she quickly manages to sway herself around, winding her tail back and swinging it right at the Zubat, its prickly surface smacking him dab in the center of his face like a baseball. “Ghraggh!” The impact of the swing is enough to send him off course, sliding face down against the sand.

    Rickety, the Koffing and even Lexxi are left in a brief moment of silence as the Zubat lays in the sand, motionless, letting out a weak, quiet groan. The Skitty and the Riolu exchange surprised glances at themselves, giving an understanding nod as they smile at each other as they turn to face the Koffing.

    “Oh ho, so that’s how it’s gonna be? Alright.” The Koffing’s smug smirk turns into a determined grimace as he starts charging towards Rickety and Lexxi, both of whom begin to charge back. Lexxi attempts to headbutt the Koffing, but him being the much larger and stronger Pokemon, knocks her back without any effort, sending her tumbling to the ground.

    Rickety attempts to take advantage while the Koffing is distracted with Lexxi and quickly dashes around to the back of Koffing to bite him.

    The overwhelming onslaught of horrible stenches and the putrid smell of BO was enough to let him know that doing this was a mistake, his eyes watering, immediately retching and gagging as he tries to get the horrible smell out of his mouth.

    The Koffing is a little bit shaken from that sudden bite, even if it didn’t last long, there was the definite impression of Riolu teeth marks faintly embedded in the back of his body now. He turns back around while Lexxi is knocked down, his body puffing up and getting ready to blast a gust of gas at Rickety, only for him to get smacked with a prickly Skitty tail, being knocked forward, sent straight into the forward thrust of Rickety’s palm, and tossed back, landing on top of his Zubat companion. “Oooogghh…”

    The Zubat shuffles underneath the Koffing, his wings weakly batting at his friends. “Mrrggh… Get off of me, bozo!” He forces the Koffing off of him, disorienting him as he tries to get back into the air properly. “Can’t believe we got whooped by these stupid chumps.”

    The Koffing shakes itself back and forth, dusting the sand off its body as it scowls at the duo. “Don’t think you’re awesome or strong or, anything like that! You just got lucky we weren’t at our A-game today.”

    “Here! Take your stupid treasure!” Pulling Rickety’s personal treasure out, he tosses it over towards him, Rickety catching it effortlessly. Still not enough time for Lexxi to get a properly good look at it, though. Both the Koffing and the Zubat flee without saying another word, probably not wanting to stick around for any other surprise attacks they may or may not get struck by.

    Rickety opens his palm and looks down, smilng softly and letting out a long sigh of relief. “We did it.” He muffles a quiet laugh to himself, clutching the treasure close to his chest tightly. “We actually did it! Thank goodness it’s safe… I don’t know if I ever would’ve been able to have gotten it back on my own.” He clutches his treasure close to his chest, glancing down at the Skitty. “Thank you so much, Lexxi.”

    Lexxi’s tail swishes back and forth ever so slightly, having gone back to its softer state. “I’m happy to have helped. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”


    “I know I keep saying this, but I really can’t thank you enough, Lexxi.” The two had departed the cave, taking a well deserved rest on the beach as they watch the sun set off in the distance, the sky a beautifully vibrant shade of orange, not a cloud in the sky.

    “It’s nothing, really.” Lexxi gives a soft smile, shuffling in the sand a little bit. Adjusting to this new quadruped body is still giving her trouble. Hard to sit comfily in this thing. “I just, happened to be there. And I wasn’t about to let somebody get picked on for no reason.” She turns to look at him, forelegs resting in front of her. “What did they take from you, anyway? I don’t think I’ve gotten a good look at it.”

    Rickety blinks, chuckling softly. “Oh yeah, heh. It’s a small little thing. Here.” Dangling it from the chain it was attached to, Rickety holds up his treasure and allows it to drop into Lexxi’s hands. “I call it the Broken Clock.”

    It was a silver necklace resembling a clock. The parts of the clock were highlighted and accentuated by a vibrant blue, adorned with small, intricate runes, none of which resembled Unown writing or any recognizable numbers or symbols. Flipping it over revealed the word “TIME” crudely etched into the back of the necklace. It was certainly unlike anything Lexxi had ever seen before. Even with her foggy memory, she knew this was unique.

    “I found it while I was poking around one day. I don’t know where it came from but I’ve held onto it ever since.” Rickety reminisces, smiling softly as he starts pointing out some of the details on the clock. You see how the entire lower right quarter of the clock is blue?”

    Lexxi takes note of that, thinking that is rather peculiar as she leans in a bit closer. “Now that you mention it, yeah. What about it?”

    “I don’t think this is the only one out there. There could be more of them! Maybe the rest of them have the other segments of the clock filled out, and maybe if we get all of them, maybe… Maybe something big and cool will happen! I-I don’t know! But it’s so cool!” Rickety’s voice really perks up as his expression brightens, his little tail wagging back and forth behind him.

    “Think about it! There could be more of these necklaces just, waiting in places that have yet to be discovered, waiting to be found, to be reunited with each other. And who’s to say that these are the only relics of these sorts out there? There could be dozens of necklaces like them! Like maybe some of them have special powers, or, or maybe some of them are keys that go to even more places we’ve never been to, gosh there’s just so much out there waiting to be discovered!”

    Lexxi could practically see a bright spark glowing in Rickety’s spirit as he talked and rambled, unable to help but smile. “You’re really passionate about this, aren’t you?” She hands the necklace back over to Rickety. “That’s sweet.”

    The Riolu gives a sheepish little smile, his cheeks blushing a faint shade of red as he giggles softly. “Heh, yeah. I’d love to join an exploration team. I just really, really love the idea of going out and exploring what hasn’t been explored yet. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do with my life.” He takes the necklace back, unclasping it and wrapping it around his neck, the clock now sitting comfortably against his chest. “I just… Haven’t really worked up the courage to do it yet. I tried joining one earlier, but I chickened out.” He sighs, staring back down at the sand. “…Lexxi?”

    “Hmm?”

    “Do you have any idea what you’re gonna do after this?” Rickety glances back at her, arms folded over his chest.” I mean… You don’t have anywhere to go, do you? You don’t remember who you are, I don’t know if you even have a home to go back to, and… You know.”

    Lexxi pauses for a second, a stump coming up to her chin. “…Come to think of it, yeah. As far as I know, there’s nothing waiting for me anywhere.” She shakes her head in response. “I don’t know.”

    “Well, um…” Rickety’s eyes look away a little bit, paws tapping against the sand. “This, uh- Sorry if I sound a little selfish for asking this, especially considering we just met, but, umm…” He manages to look back into her eyes, smiling nervously. “Would you be willing to form an exploration team with me?”

    She blinks a few times, letting the suggestion stir around in her mind. Well… On one hand- Stump, he’s got a point. But on the other… “Why me in particular? I feel like there’d be better picks for partners out there.”

    “See, that’s what I thought too. But… I dunno, when we were in that cave, when we were fighting those guys together, I felt something.” His smile grows a bit brighter. “When we combo’d that Koffing, I knew we’d make a great exploration team no matter what. So… Please?”

    Lexxi stares at him, letting the idea stir around in her mind some more. It’s a lot to consider, but at the same time… What has she got to lose by joining him? “Sure.” She nods, smiling at him. “I might be in a bit of a rough spot, but, hey, who knows? Maybe I’ll figure out who I am while I’m exploring with you.”

    Rickety’s eyes light up like the sun, his tail swishing back and forth much, much more eagerly than before. “OhmygoshTHANKYOUSOMUCH!” He has to take a moment to compose himself, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “Hooookay, keep it together, Rickety.” He mutters to himself, extending a paw to Lexxi. “It’ll prolly take a lotta work to get to where we wanna be, but we’ll make it work.”

    Lexxi, smiling, extends a leg out to Rickety, firmly gripping his paw and giving it a good shake. “We’ll be the best exploration team that we can be.”

    1 Comment

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    1. Feb 28, '24 at 7:55 pm

      So I heard you want to write fight scenes, hmmm? Hopefully I can throw together everything I know about fight scenes!

      The number one thing I find helps guide me with writing fight scenes is to keep in mind that the reader needs to visualize everything – it takes mental space to translate the words into an image inside your head. And fighting scenes can be complex and have a lot going on so I feel the greatest risk to them is them being difficult to visualize. That the readers can’t keep track of things or need to read it multiple times over to get what’s going on.

      People can only keep track of about five things in their minds in general, so I’m very careful about how I order the information being presented. If you mention a detail, have four other details, and then write another detail dependent on the first detail, the reader would have forgotten about the first detail and therefore need to rebuild the scene in their head from scratch. That can take a lot of tension and excitement out of the fight, especially if they have to reread everything to make sure they understand what’s going on.

      This is more likely to happen if there are multiple characters in the scene, cause there are even more things going on at once. In a multi-character fight, I’d try to focus on one/two characters and try to transition when they reach a simple action. Transitioning back, you can write what they were doing to re-add context. But in general, you don’t want the reader to keep track of what all the characters are doing at all times and what their positions are and emotions and such. Just let them be immersed in a small but powerful moment, and move them from moment to moment.

      The other big thing with fight scenes is tension. You want to reduce how easy it is to get lost in a fight but increase the tension. There are a few things to do to help tension. The biggest thing is that prose must be as tight as possible and cut out as many unnecessary words as possible, more so than any other scene. Any word that does not add specific value is a chance for the reader to breathe, and one breath can do a lot to unwind the tension. Compare “I tried swinging my sword and it barely cut the very tips of his fur” vs “I swung my sword and sliced the tips of his fur”. It also makes it easier to visualize cause it’s fewer words to process.

      Or even “Rickety attempts to take advantage while the Koffing is distracted with Lexxi and quickly dashes around to the back of Koffing to bite him.” compared to “Rickety dashes around to the back of Koffing and bites him”. You don’t need to explain that Koffing is distracted, the actions will speak for themselves.

      In fact, I remember you talking about being a bit proud about writing long fight scenes. I’d try to avoid this mindset: more words doesn’t mean more was said, and you can be surprised how much you can tighten up paragraphs just by cutting out words without a lot of meaning. Fight scenes should be as long as is needed.

      These next two points are more general advice about tension that may not apply to you, but I hope you find them helpful anyway!

      I haven’t read this in your story but in case it comes in handy, avoid something I call “thinking the drama”. That is, when the characters or narrator reflects on how much is at stake or how much they fear losing/want to win. It ends up being a case of tell, don’t show, it’s better to show these emotions in their actions but otherwise them thinking is inaction. Again, I don’t think you’re doing this, but I hope you appreciate this anyway.

      And the last piece of advice I have on action is to value simplicity. It’s easy to think of a fight scene in an anime or action movie when writing a fight scene but visual mediums benefit from complexity because complex images and motion are entertaining to the eyes. But on prose, it can hurt the whole visualizing/clarity aspect. Meanwhile, you can wring a lot of tension out of even simple things, say someone being choked mid-battle and struggling or biting down and holding on. I’m not saying you need to keep things simple, but it’s also a surprisingly good cheat to depend on it.

      In fact, from my experience, one of the easiest things you can do for yourself while making the writing better is to change a scene so it is something easier to describe. And by easier to describe, I don’t mean less imaginative as much as not so bogged down in details that need to be explained for the scene to make sense. I must stress – this isn’t pertinent to anything you wrote so far, but I found this to be the most helpful tip I’ve learned from my own writing.

      With all that, I hope all this advice does help with writing fight scenes in the future. Do keep in mind that I’m not an arbiter of truth on the matter, so feel free to be skeptical of my advice or get second opinions/experiment/test it out/further research. In fact, I insist ;).

      But with that, sorry I don’t have as much to say for the chapter itself. I don’t think the fight scene was that bad, I never had to stop or reread a section more than once. I did love how you changed the partner’s relic to be something more reflective of the changes you made. Seeing something super familiar but different is so far one of my favourite appeals of this story. I also like how you portrayed Rickety, it’s very nostalgic, and yet they feel more of the partner’s personality than the original games (which had the limitations of only a single character portrait and dialogue to convey all their emotions).

      (One last piece of advice! Don’t use ellipsis too much. It can be a bad habit, too many of them can be distracting, and you weaken the meaning of the ellipsis when you add them. Try to remove them if they’re not necessary or replace them with a comma!)