3: So I’m A Snivy, So What? (III)

Rei – Snivy

“…THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as I stood in the center of the crossroads.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I gritted my teeth, now sharp like jagged fangs. “What am I supposed to do?!” My eyes darted around the unfamiliar scenery. “JUST WHERE AM I?!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!” I could hear a voice squawk at me from above.

“Who the fuck-” I looked up and spotted a bird with red and black feathers drifting over me. 

“Quit screaming your head off like a Loudred!” the Fletchinder snapped.

“You shut up, bird! I’m having a crisis here, dammit!” I picked up a pebble and chucked it at him.

He jolted to the side, avoiding the rock. “Ey, I’m flyin’ here!” The avian spat literal fire out of his beak, shooting directly at me.

“ACK-” I took a quick step back. The fireball burst and dissipated as it met the ground.

“Ugh, kids these days…” The crimson bird flew away angrily.

I stared dumbfounded at the burn marks in the dirt. “…that thing just shot an actual fireball at me. Holy crap.” I forgot that Pokémon were essentially living weapons, just like in the games. 

I scoffed. “Guess I better not piss people off ‘round here… the hell was his problem, though? Just ignore me if I’m being a nuisance…” I looked down at my new Snivy body again. “Wonder if I could fight too…

“…nahhh. I’d surely lose any battles I get into. Using Pokémon moves and shit sounds fun, but I don’t wanna get hurt…” I looked back at where the embers landed and shuddered. “Ugh. I got this unnerving feeling about fire, all of a sudden.”

Shaking my head, I tried to compose myself. Think, Rei, think! You’ve binged countless anime and manga! You’ve essentially prepared yourself for a situation like this without even knowing! You should know what to do, dammit!

This is an isekai, right? And all isekais start off with…

…with the protagonist dying.

“…haha…” …no way! No way I died! How the hell would I die in my sleep, anyway?

There’re some isekais where the protag isn’t reincarnated, right? Like, uh… Sword Art Online! Horrible example, the anime was dogshit, but an example nonetheless!

I aimlessly wandered around the intersection as I continued to dissect the situation with my weeb knowledge. Okay, forget that! Think deeper! This is a Pokémon isekai, from the looks of it! And I’ve been turned into one! I’m assuming humans don’t exist at all here since the rat called me an alien, so it ain’t like the games at all. No trainers wanting to stuff me in their balls—excellent.

I snickered. “…okay, that- that doesn’t sound right… ugh, whatever!” I huffed, staring back at the town in the distance. A starting village is always helpful in situations like these. I decided to make my way down the path, hoping for free stuff or a way to earn cash or a roof under my head. Anything, really. But preferably free stuff. If you couldn’t tell, I’m pretty desperate.

So crowded… It was bizarre to see all these magical creatures out and about, their routes intersecting in the center of the town. I could hear garbled murmurs around me, vaguely sounding like English rather than the mews and growls of ordinary animals. 

A black glowing lamp—Chandelure? Lampent? One of those two—floated out of a store, carrying paper bags filled with groceries in its arched metal arms.

A gargantuan purple dragon—a Goodra—stomped down the street whilst dripping wet, smiling at the two small lavender slimes—Goomy—slithering behind.

A blue and white squirrel—Patchy… something—and a pink cat—a Skitty—were racing atop a wooden platform lined alongside a ridge.

“So many Pokémon… don’t even recognize some of ‘em.” It was definitely not as crowded as any city—I could estimate only a dozen Pokémon around me—but it sure as hell felt crowded. And my tiny new form definitely isn’t helping. Half of these guys tower over me!

I looked to my right and spotted a big sign next to a green and yellow building. “Kecleon General Store” was written in big bold… wait a minute, those aren’t English letters. They looked more like a bunch of footprints than anything…

…wait, how come I can read this perfectly?? I stared in horror at the foreign script that I just so happened to pick up out of nowhere.

“Gift Shop”. “The Box Buster – We bust boxes!”. “Swanna House | Bar and Inn”. The gibberish symbols all around the town somehow had meaning to me.

“…holy crap I’m bilingual,” I murmured, astonished. “Whatever brought me here must’ve done this to me. I just know it.” In every single isekai, some meddling god is involved with bringing the protagonist over to the new world! And they usually grant them some quality-of-life improvements or even special powers!

This god had better compensate me… and it better be good! I don’t care how dumb it is, I just want something, ‘cause right now, I’ve got empty pockets. In fact, I don’t even have pockets! That’s how desperate I am right now!

Time manipulating powers, a deity accompanying me, hell, even a fucking smartphone—it all sounds like anime bullshit to me, but I’d take what I can get, okay? Just getting turned into a plant monster and being taught how to read what are essentially hieroglyphics isn’t enough in my eyes.

Speaking of compensation… I guess my first course of action is finding a way to earn cash. My stomach grumbled. And fast.

Uh, so how do I get a job, then? I pondered. Do I just… ask? I looked at the general store again and shrugged as I walked up to the door.

A lime-green lizard with yellow markings—Kecleon, I’m assuming—wearing a brown apron looked up from his newspaper as I stepped inside. “Welcome! Can I help you?”

I open my mouth, but I hold back my words out of uncertainty. What am I supposed to even ask.

“…hello? Snivy?”

“Uh… how do I put this…” I mumbled. “…Do you have, like, any work that you need done? I’m… I need money.” I sheepishly grinned as I put it bluntly.

“…read the sign.” The chameleon narrowed his eyes, his expression quickly changing from cheer to contempt as he pointed at a notice on the wall. “No soliciting.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

Kecleon frowned. “It means you can’t sell goods and services here.”

“I’m not selling anything?? I’m just offering to help in exchange for some pocket change??”

“That’s a service you’re selling. I’m sorry, but I don’t allow that in this establishment.”

I groaned. “Seriously? Come on… Don’t you need some help ‘round here?” I glanced around the shop. It was empty, save for a giant pink rabbit with ears shaped like an elephant’s looking at the produce section. “You look like the only guy that runs this place.”

The reptile shook his head. “Look, are you gonna buy something or what?”

“I HAVE NO MONEY. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BUY ANYTHING HERE.”

“…isn’t it free to become a rescuer? Why don’t you do that and earn Poké through missions?”

“What is a rescuer?!”

He stared at me blankly. “…sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. You’re being disruptive.”

“I-” I scoffed, about to chew this guy out, but I held back. There’s no point. Shit’s not gonna change if you make a big fuss about it. “…fine.” If there’s anything I’ve learned before, it’s that fighting will get you nowhere. Not much you can do to change things. 

I walked out of the store disappointed. Seriously, what is a rescuer..? My best guess is that it’s this isekai’s equivalent of an adventurer. Oh boy, I just know that I’ll have to join a guild and make a party and go save the world or whatever. I don’t wanna do that!

Dammit, how am I gonna earn money now…? That asshole Kecleon won’t help me, and there’s no way in hell I’m joining the local guild. I value my pathetic life very much, believe it or not! I know for a fact that guild work’s gonna involve some dangerous shit.

And then it hit me. “Ichi.” The overly optimistic Pikachu from earlier. “I bet he can help me.” He’s the very first guy I met, and of course, the first character the protagonist meets is always plot-relevant! This is how he’s important—hopefully he’ll let me crash with him and I can freeload off of him, and then I won’t have to starve and sleep outside! 

“I’m sure he’s got cash,” I said to myself. “After all, he’s got enough to be able to blow it all on some silly childhood dream.” I laughed. “Now, where did he say he was again…?” I strayed away from the store, looking around before my eyes locked on the big establishment on my right. Oh, that’s right, he mentioned a “Swanna House”. He must be in there, right? 

Making my way inside, I made sure to be on the lookout for the rat. He’s one of the most iconic Pokémon, he should be easy to spot!

And indeed it was easy—I could see a yellow figure sitting down at a table in the corner. Definitely a Pikachu, with those same pointy ears and jagged tail. Didn’t seem to have that scarf from earlier, though. Strange.

“Hey! There you are!” I called out to him as I headed over to where he sat.

The Pikachu turned around and raised an eyebrow at me. “…do I know you?” Ichi sounded… a lot different than earlier, actually. Sounded feminine.

“…wait a sec, you’re not him-” I took a step back. “Oh crap, I am so sorry, I- I thought you were someone else…”

“Uh, of course I’m not ‘him’, I’m a girl, idiot!” She huffed, clearly offended.

“L-look, how am I supposed to know?! All you Pikachu look the same to me…” I defended myself.

“Can’t you tell by my heart-shaped tail?” Not-Ichi scoffed. “Also, do you know how offensive that is?! You think we’re all the same to you?!”

“Okay okay okay I’m going now-” I whimpered, stumbling back.

“Hmph! The nerve of some ‘mon, I swear…”

Scampering out of the restaurant, I sighed. “Okayyy, looks like he’s not there. And looks like I pissed off a random stranger. Very fun.” A lot of these Pokémon are so angsty, what’s their deal?

I ran all the way to a pond behind Kecleon’s shop. “Dammit… where’d that rat go? He’s my only chance at getting anywhere in this world…” Dejected, I stared down at the pool of water. My eyes met those of a bizarre-looking green reptile with a big, pointy snout. “…is this… really me? Dude, this sucks…”

…should I just call it quits? Like, even if I found him, would he even let me join him? I was kinda mocking his dreams earlier, after all…

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do, anyway. Why couldn’t the god at least tell me my role or something? I’d hate to be a part of some silly prophecy, but… I suppose it’d be better than just aimlessly wandering, grasping at whatever hopeless chances come and go.

“…” I continued to stare at the Snivy in the water. “…ugh, fine, I’ll keep looking. Got nothing better to do, anyway.”

Think, Rei, think! I tried to pump myself up. Where could he be? I stared at the crowd of Pokémon walking around Post Town’s plaza. No sight of any electric rats wearing bandanas. If he’s not here… where else could he be?

…outside town? I wondered. But where—OH! That shitty plot of land! I haven’t checked there yet!

I grinned. If he isn’t there… THEN I’ll give up. Yeah. Leaning forward again, I dashed through the settlement, running to the exit.

I could already spot Ichi not too far from the gate. He seemed to be walking back to town—I wondered if I still could’ve found him if I just stayed put.

“Ichi! ICHI!!” I called out to him, panting as I sprinted towards him. “Holy shit, there you are!”

“Uh… hey there!” He looked at me a little strangely.

“Three words,” I said. “I want in.” I had no idea what to say, honestly.

“…huh?” He blinked. “…can… can you elaborate on that?”

“I want to join that Paradise thing you’re making. Please.” I bowed my head.

He tilted his head. “What?”
“Look, I’m… I dunno what I’m doing, okay? I woke up today in a Pokémon isekai, you know how confused I am?” I complained. “You’re like, the only person I’ve met here so far that hasn’t been a dick. So that’s why I’m asking you.”

“…look man, I’m not so sure…” He scratched the side of his head.

“I-I’ll do anything!” I blurted. “I’ll help you build that shopping district of yours!”

“…” He stared at me, not saying anything for a moment as he frowned.

“Come on…” I pleaded.

“…you know what? Alright.” He nodded. “I kinda pity you anyway…”

I grinned from non-existent ear to non-existent ear. How the hell do snakes hear, anyway? “Dude, thank you so much! I-I won’t let you down!” Job: obtained! 

“You better not,” he laughed.