1: So I’m A Snivy, So What? (I)

Rei – Snivy

 

I just want a peaceful life.

I’m not asking for much, am I? All I want is to live normally. A mundane life with little to no conflict. Like a slice-of-life anime, y’know? If my life were an anime, I’d opt for just that. Yes, it’s boring, but it beats your average isekai plot where you’re at constant risk of dying to weird-ass fantasy monsters and you have to fight and kill in order to survive. I don’t want that kinda life, it’s too stressful.

I’m not saying I don’t wanna escape my boring life. Though if you had to reincarnate me, I’d be much, much happier if you gave me a luxurious life in the world I already live in, rather than plopping me into a living hell.

I hate isekai anime, honestly. Too generic. I’ve seen the same thing over and over—a depressed NEET gets hit by Truck-Kun and gets reincarnated into fantasy land because the world pities them. 

…now, although I fit that exact description, that doesn’t mean you can make me an isekai protagonist!

 

The wind smacked against me as I woke up making a sudden and rapid descent down to the ground in broad daylight.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!” I shriek as I see the earth getting closer and closer. “If this is a dream, it feels terrifyingly real! Fuck me and my fear of heights!” I move my hand to my cheek, trying to pinch myself. 

 

And then I saw my hand. Looked more like a leaf, though—my hand was now green and flimsy like paper. Two of my fingers were missing, too.

And pinching myself stung.

“OKAY, THIS IS NOT A DREAM—” My heart raced as impact grew imminent. “What the– what’s up with my hands?!”

And then it hit me. Right before the dirt did.

 

 “…oh my god, I’ve been isekai’d.” My last words. Fitting, right?

Dying right as I spawn in, thanks a lot, god!

“…what the hell…?” 

I heard a voice. My head was spinning, I could hardly see a thing, and my body… hurt a lot less than I expected, but still stung. But I could hear someone. 

“Holy mother of Mew… the hell happened to you?!” I felt them rock me back and forth. “Oi, wake up! Dammit, don’t die on me, Snivy!”

I groaned as my vision cleared up. “…ugh… my head’s killing me…” I squinted as I tried to make out who woke me up.

“Phew… you good, bud?” The first thing I noticed was the blue bandana with a big “1” on it. “…wait, no, you’re definitely not, why do I even have to ask? Dude, I just saw you fall straight outta the sky, what were you doing up there?!” The figure and I were surrounded by trees. There was a noticeably pungent, damp scent of moss. Ugh.

My gaze shifted slightly above, to face the guy speaking to me.

“…a… Pikachu?” The bandana-wearer turned out to be the iconic yellow rat.

“Seriously, the hell happened to ya, Snivy?” he asked. 

“…call me Rei, not ‘Snivy’… and you really think I know what happened? Just woke up like this. Not kidding.” I frowned as I stared at him. “Where’d ya get Snivy from, anyway? Do I look like a Snivy to you—wait.”

My eyes dart back to my green “hands”. Turns out more than just that had changed—somehow I had grown a tail with a giant palm leaf at the end of it, as well as two yellow… whatever these are. More leaves? Some kind of shoulder pads? Didn’t matter to me, what mattered was the fact that I got turned into a Pokémon. My feet are practically gone, now I’ve got these stubs that hardly qualify for legs. My skin is so green and scaly now, it doesn’t feel right at all. Just what kind of isekai is this?!

“Um… did ya hit your head that hard, Rei?” 

“…probably.”

The rat sighed. “Guess I’ll just have to be late, then…” He stuck out his paw. “Here, lemme help ya get up.” I noticed that his other paw held a big sack of some sort. I could hear some faint jingling from inside it as I grabbed onto him.

“Thanks… uh…”

“Ichi,” he introduced himself. “I was just on my way to Post Town when I saw ya taking a skydive… but it looks like you’re okay…” He looked at me. “…wait, how though?? How are you not dead??”

“That’s what I’m asking!” Not even a scratch on me—it’s really bizarre if you think about it. “Should I see a doctor about this shit?”

“Uh, probably? Then again, might be a waste since you look fine to me.” He shrugged. “…Seriously though Rei, what were you doing up in the sky? I don’t recall Snivys being able to fly… though those things you got there do look like wings. Vaguely.” He pointed a finger at my pair of yellow leaves.

“Yeah, dunno what these are either.” I tugged at one. “…but I know for a fact you would not believe me if I told ya, though.”

“Try me.” The rodent grinned. “I’ve heard tons of weird shit before.”

“I’m not supposed to be a Pokémon, I’m supposed to be human, and today I woke up falling out of the sky and turned into a Snivy,” I explained bluntly.

“…okayyy, that one I haven’t heard before.”

“Yeah, I dunno where the hell I am, how the hell I got here, or why the hell I got isekai’d.” I crossed my arms. “Very fun.”

“…what was that last word?”

“Fun? What, you don’t know what having fun is?” I snorted.

“No, I mean… isekai, what in the world is that?”

“Another word for getting sent to another world. You wouldn’t get it.”

He just gave me a long stare. “…you know, you seem really cuckoo, but… I mean, you did just inexplicably fall tens of thousands of feet from the sky. Aliens sound like the only plausible explanation to me.”

“I’m not an alien! To me, you’re the alien… weird electric rat…”

“Wow, fuck you! The way I see it, you’re the one who’s come from another world—literally what an alien is. Well, ya claim that, at least,” he said. “Anyway, want me to take you to Post Town? I was heading there to meet some guy. You could probably get some help there if you need it.”

“…that’d be great, thanks…” 

“Aight… I gotta get there quick—I don’t think I have much time! You able to run?”

“…no?? Dude, look at my legs.”

“What about your legs? They look normal for a Snivy.”

“Exactly—they’re just fucking stubs! I feel like I’m wearing high heels or something! You think I can run like this?!”

“I’ve seen Snivys run as fast as me. Yes you can.” Ichi tapped his foot. “Look, I don’t have time for this. You coming or not?”

“Okay, okay! Just lead the way…” Wobbling on my feet, I tried to get my footing, taking sluggish steps forward.

“…man, you really don’t know how to walk? Balance with your tail,” the Pikachu advised.

“My tail?” I looked at the long leafy tail I now sported. “…right, my tail. Gotta get used to that, too.” Swaying it around was a strange experience. Keeping my leaf upright helped me stay balanced while standing up.

Ichi pouted as I took my time with figuring out my new Snivy legs. “You done?”

“Yeah, I think…” I was able to pick up the pace with my tiptoeing. Which I’m gonna have to be doing a lot now.

 

“Then let’s go already! I’ve got no time to waste!” The rat got on all fours, scurrying out of the forest.

“Jesus, he’s fast…” I mumbled as I jogged behind him.

And then immediately tripped.

“…crap.” It dawned on me that running the way I’m used to does not translate as well to legs like these. For one, they’re way too small compared to the rest of my body.

“Dammit! This fucking sucks…” I scowled as I got back up. I would’ve preferred to just give up then and there—I was never really an athlete. Then I remembered that I was screwed if I didn’t follow that rat into town… A starting village is always the first step in situations like these! 

Ichi looked like he was already miles ahead of me… I had to catch up! I tried again, leaning forward while lowering my tail as I dashed towards the Pikachu. I swear, he offers to help me, then proceeds to leave me in the dust? What the hell?! 

Quick, rapid steps seemed to be working fine for me. With my arms slanted back, I was Naruto running… really embarrassing, but for some reason, it felt natural for this body. It almost felt like I was slithering around like a snake. 

“…there ya are, you Slowpoke!” Ichi looked behind, spotting me lagging a little, but steadily catching up. “Finally figured out how to run?”

“S-shut up… I know I look funny sprinting like this…”

“Whaddya mean? That’s how all Snivys run, isn’t it?”

“…you mean Naruto running is normal for them? That’s weird…”

He shot a funny look my way before shaking his head as he continued scuttling ahead.

“By the way, why the hell did you leave me behind, Ichi?!” I hissed. 

“Look, I’m in a hurry, okay? I struck a deal with this guy, Quagsire, and we agreed on meeting right about now!”

“A deal?”

“Business deal! Y’see, I have this dream of—”

“Don’t give me your life story…” I cut him off. “Aren’t you in a rush? You shouldn’t really be reminiscing right now if you are.”

“…rude.” He pouted.

“Hey, I’m not wrong! Just tell me later or something.”

 

The trees lessened and lessened as we left the forest and reached a crossroad. There was a significant dissonance between the west and east—on the left was a path blooming with flowers and trees leading to a village, most likely the town Ichi mentioned; on the right was an arid plot of land that looked like it’d been deserted for a long while. The complete opposite of the other side, all that was there were a bunch of rocks and dead trees.

“Sheesh, what’s with the wasteland over there?”

“That’s the land I’m plannin’ on buying.”

“…Oh my god, I am so sorry for you.”

“Look, it was the cheapest one on the market, okay? Didn’t have many options,” he grumbled as he turned to look at the settlement. “Okay… Quagsire said he’d be at a place called Swanna House… pretty sure it’s some kinda bar? Shouldn’t be that hard to find.”

“What’re you even planning on doing with that land?”

“…it’s, uh, a little silly, but I’ve got this dream of becoming a businessmon. I’ve been saving up in order to start my very own shopping district!” He grinned.

“…shopping district?” I asked. “Like, a strip mall?”

“A strip mall?”

“Uh, stores that are lined up together in a large area.”

“Well, yeah, pretty much! I’m gonna rent out the land to other store owners, and amass a sort of… business empire! You get me?”

“…uhh, good luck with that, I guess?” What the fuck is this guy talking about.

“I’ve been plannin’ this out ever since I was a little Pichu… It’s gonna be called ‘Pokémon Paradise’! It’ll be an oasis of opportunity!”

“Sure it’ll be…”

“Oh, just you wait! I’ll become the number one business owner in the Mist Continent!”

I stifled a laugh. Surely he was joking, right? The number one business owner… now he’s the cuckoo one! “…Mist Continent… that’s where we are, right?”

“Mhm! They call it that because of a dense fog that shows up ‘round here from time to time. Not a very remarkable place compared to the other continents… but that just means it’ll be pretty easy to take the spotlight once I get my Paradise up and running!”

“If you say so.” 

Ichi took another glance at the road to Post Town. “Well then! I think it’s about time I get going! Quagsire’s still waiting on me! Uh, it was nice meeting ya, Rei!”

“Yeah… thanks for takin’ me here, I guess. Might’ve gotten lost in the woods if you hadn’t found me.”

“No prob! Now, if you’ll excuse me…” He hurried down the path, leaving me to my own devices in the middle of the crossroad.

 

“…weird rat,” I grumbled before staring at my hands once more.

“So I really did end up in an isekai. As a plant snake from a children’s game. Plummeting outta the sky and miraculously surviving. Racing with a Pikachu, of all things.”

 

“…” After a moment, the weight of the situation begins to hit me.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, I’M IN AN ISEKAI. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!” I scream. “WHY?! WHY, GOD, WHY?! THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!”