Again and Again

She lay in the dirt. Her hind left leg was broken. The bones splintered into thousands of painful needles. Her front right leg was numb, like most of her body at that point. She couldn’t feel or even move the charred nub of flesh that had once been a working paw. The shards of rock within her mane had been melted into slag, the slowly cooling rock embedded deep within her flesh.

Sara could feel every painful breath through her numerous broken ribs. But worse, she could feel them slowing down, getting harder and harder to force in and out of her lungs. She was dying, it was simple as that. They had failed, and now there was nothing stopping the complete destruction of the world.

The Delphox knelt down grasping Sara’s chin in his paw. With a painful wrench he pulled her head up so that he could meet eyes with her. The Lycanroc’s eyes filled with tears at the sudden movement, but she didn’t have enough breath to scream. She could only manage a strained whimper.

“It was cruel of them to expect you to fight me.” The Delphox said, his voice a deep rumble. “It was always going to go this way. I’m sorry.” Sara wanted to say something, do something. Things couldn’t end this way. But she had nothing left. Reece was already dead, and she could feel the darkness closing in on her.

With her last burst of energy, the Lycanroc twisted out of the Delphox’s grip, snapping desperately at his fingers. Faster than she could blink, the Delphox clamped his hand around her muzzle, squeezing painfully, dangerously tight. Sara screamed through her closed lips as she felt her teeth creak, snap, the shards grinding her mouth and tongue into a bloody mess.

He leaned in, whispering directly into her ear. “Don’t worry. You’ll die. But you will so wish you actually could. Goodbye human.” His fingers uncurled letting her head thump back to the ground. Sara felt the darkness closing in again. This was the end.

As she lay there, her vision faded more and more, her breath becoming shallower. The numbness she felt across her limbs moved across her whole body. It was almost peaceful, she couldn’t feel the pain anymore at least. Then a light appeared, right at the end of the dark tunnel that had become her vision. If Sara could have laughed, she would have. She remembered the phrase “going towards the light” from when she was a human. She’d never asked Reece what the Pokemon afterlife was like. It didn’t matter though, she knew she was about to experience it.

She closed her eyes letting the light wash over her. Then suddenly it was over. The pain was completely gone, and even better she could feel. Her nerves were no longer dead, her legs were no longer broken. She was suffused in cold, which after the agony of the burns was true euphoria. If this was death, it was preferable to the pain she had been in.

She took a deep breath, not even questioning that in death she still had to breathe, and winced at the salty tang on the inhaled air. Before she could even process it though she flinched as she heard a voice. “H-hey. He-hello? Are you okay there?”

Sara relaxed again. She recognized the voice, Reece. He was here too. She wouldn’t be alone again. But something was off. It was Reece’s voice, but it was higher-pitched than usual. She knew she would regret it, but she forced her head up, blinking to try and focus her vision. “Are you alright?” The Flaaffy before her asked, reaching out a paw to her. Behind him she could see a horrifyingly familiar beach.

Sara, pushed herself to her feet, finding that she was lighter and smaller than she had been in a while. She was almost sick as she looked down at herself, once again a Rockruff. She remembered this, exactly. Waking up here when she had first become a Pokemon. “Reece, what is happening?” She asked. She remembered the fight. She remembered dying. She remembered everything. Surely Reece had to as well.

The Flaaffy stumbled back, looking more than a little scared. “H-how do you know my name? Who are you?”

Sara’s heart fell. He didn’t remember. Her best friend, her partner, the Pokemon she cared about more than any other… he didn’t remember. Worse, with her first words to him, she had alienated him. He was scared and suspicious, and she had no way to explain to him. She didn’t even understand what had happened. Had the past ten years of their lives simply been a dream? A frantic story her mind had cobbled together to replace her lost memories? Or was it fate giving them another chance after their total failure. She still vaguely remembered the soothing voice that had brought her to the Pokemon world. Had it somehow reset things?

Either way she had to say something, and there was only one answer she could think of that Reece would buy, because he had believed it before. “I’m sorry, my name is Sara. As for how I know your name…” she paused dramatically. “I-I don’t remember.”

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t remember’?” He replied. Sara was both satisfied and guilty that he no longer seemed afraid. The friendly, helpful Reece she loved had emerged.

“I mean I remember my name, and… and the fact that I’m really human, and that is it.” For a brief moment, Sara’s face twisted into a determined smirk. Perhaps that had been the case last time, but now she knew everything and she was going to win this time. The Delphox didn’t stand a chance.

---

The plan had failed.

Sara couldn’t believe it. She simply couldn’t.

Ten years after she’d been given a second chance, and things had turned out the exact same. She’d tried to change things, to fix what had happened, but in the end it didn’t matter.

She’d had her small victories. With some quick planning she had gotten Team Skull ejected from the guild. Apparently the Guildmaster had a very particular grudge against bullies.

Other things she hadn’t been able to prevent. From day one she had tried to turn the guild against Dusknoir. She’d started by implying that he had something to do with her amnesia but had ended up outright telling Chatot, Reece, and so many others that he was bad. Nobody had believed her, at least not until it was too late.

Everything had happened in line with what she remembered, really her only proof that her first go around had actually happened. That and…the look Dialga had given her once he had been brought back to his senses. It was a pained grimace, as if he knew something but wasn’t going to say.

And then after she had been restored to the timeline, after things had continued to spiral out of control even after time was fixed, after Cresselia had begged for their help they were once again up against the Delphox. The one who knew where Darkrai was hiding.

Last time, their first failure, they had gone in alone trusting their own power, skill, and experience to win. This time, she brought along as many guild members as she could. But somehow the Delphox had seen that coming. He had his own backup. It was a massacre that left most of the guild dead. Sara was the last Pokemon still standing. With just a flick of his wand the Delphox snapped her spine just above her hind legs, effectively paralyzing her.

“Well done Sara, well done,” the Delphox gloated while his army of Sableye circled around her. Their teeth and claws were dripping in blood and they seemed to thirst for more. “It was cruel of them to expect you to fight me.” Sara felt tears prickling behind her eyes. Those words echoing from the most painful memories. “It was always going to go this way. I will commend you though, I fully expected you to come alone. Of course, even the guild was no match for us. Next time, have a better plan. Oh wait…” He smiled, but there was no joy in it. Sara’s blood turned cold. “Goodbye Sara.” He snapped his fingers and the first row of Sableye leapt forward tearing into her prone body with tooth and claw. She screamed, for this time she could, white hot agony eating through her body. Near the end though, she grew numb once again.

She was pushed over, she could see the sky above, a bright light against the shadows tearing away at her. Then something happened. Something changed. She was staring up at the sun-set sky still, but the shadows had vanished. The pain was gone. And then…

“H-hey. He-hello? Are you okay there?” Sara forced herself upright at those words. Once again she was waking up in the surf, once again she was a Rockruff. Once again she was back at the beginning.

---

Over and over and over again. She tried. Sara tried and she failed.

She tried confronting the Delphox directly, but things were reset. She tried to avoid the fight, find Darkrai another way, but the Delphox always stood in her way and she was reset. Once she tried letting the world end. Letting primal Dialga and Dusknoir win, but the Delphox appeared again, always a roadblock.

Midday, Midnight, Dusk, Dawn. Over the loops she tried everything. Hoping any of them would be the variable that could help them succeed. She tried being a part of the guild. She tried going freelance. She tried fighting Dusknoir. She tried joining him. Some of the things she did…she was too ashamed to admit. Blood had been spilled, deals had been made. In a way though, the rules had changed for her. What reason did she have to stick to her morals when all of her sins would be wiped away just as easily.

There were only two things that kept constant, every time. The inevitable end, and Reece.

A few times…she gave up. So many resets she stood at the edge of Sharpedo bluff looking down at the ocean below. So many times Reece would run from big strong Pokemon in Dungeons while she stayed behind, refusing to move. Several times she asked Reece to end her… and more than once he obliged. Each and every time though she woke up back on that damn beach. To those words she came to dread.

“H-hey. He-hello? Are you okay there?”

---

Finally, she came clean.

Dialga had just restored her once again, and she found Reece on the beach. As the loops progressed, she always welcomed the times when she didn’t exist. They were the only times when she was allowed rest from this endless torment.

She sobbed as she once again reformed. Especially as she felt Reece’s arms around her. “I missed you so much. How are you back?”

“Why the hell does it even matter?” Sara screamed in response. “We have maybe seven years before it all goes away. Before we are right back at square one and you don’t even remember who I am anymore!” She wouldn’t have normally been this candid, but desperation and frustration had finally pushed her over the edge.

Reece flinched at her tone. “Sara, what do you mean?”

“Does it really matter?” the Rockruff snarled. “You won’t remember. You never do! Every time I come back, it is just further proof that I will have to live this all over again!”

“Then tell me,” Reece snapped, sparks flickering through his fleece. “I have no idea what is going on Sara. So tell me. Maybe I don’t remember…whatever it is you are talking about, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t help you.”

Sara stared at him, the one constant in all of the loops. No matter what else she changed, she knew she needed him. What harm was there in telling him? She wondered to herself. Next loop he’ll have forgotten all about it. “You’re right. I’ll tell you. I’m sorry I freaked out on you.”

The Flaaffy gave a strained smile. “I’m just so happy to see you again. I can’t describe how much I missed you. And just from what you’ve told me, you have every right to freak out. Come on, let’s go home. Then you can tell me everything.”

Reece placed an arm over his partner, the Rockruff leaning a lot of her weight on him. As they walked, she started telling him her story. Of the hundreds of times she had died, faded from existence, and how many times she had been brought back. By the time they were back home, each sitting on their bed, the story was finished and Sara was waiting for Reece’s reaction.

“How many times have you been through that?” He asked, fiddling nervously with the wool on his thigh.

“322,” Sara said without hesitation. “Both of our blood has been splattered across all of them.”

They sat in silence for a while. “I wish you had told me sooner, and not just this time. I wish I could have helped you every other time you’ve been through this.”

Sara laughed humorlessly. “You don’t understand. Imagine where I am after each loop. I know what is going to happen over the course of the next ten years, but to you I’m just some Rockruff that washed up on shore. There have been loops where I’ve tried to warn people about the Time Gear Disaster, about Dusknoir. I’ve never been able to persuade you or the Guild. I didn’t think that you would believe me on this.”

Reece opened his mouth to argue, but then realized that he didn’t actually have a defense. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. At least not really.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sara said, rolling onto her back within her cot. “Besides this won’t be the last time we have this conversation. I’m sure of that. When I loop again.”

Reece sighed. “You can’t think like that.”

Sara rolled again, turning her back to her partner. “Reece, I lost hope a long time ago.”

---

Temporal Tower was the same as it had been any other time that Sara and Reece had visited. The trip to the hidden lands, the challenging climb. Even 322 times later it hadn’t gotten any easier. Even taking the numerous shortcuts that she had learned over what had been centuries, it was still a punishing climb. But if reaching their goal finally ended the cycle, it would have been worth it.

Sara remembered the naive little Rockruff that had first flown to the tower. She remembered her dread at potentially being removed from the timeline, the wonder at finally seeing the potential of the Relic Fragment being fulfilled, and the hope that even if this journey had killed her that the world would be safe for Reece. She missed that Rockruff.

At least her partner was still at her side. After everything, Reece still stood by her. Briefly she wondered what all of this was like for him. Not remembering each loop. That was before she realized that there was nothing. Every loop, for Reece at least, was in no way distinct from the first. For him, this was the first loop and it was only through Sara’s word that he knew there had been other loops. Believed, Sara corrected herself, he only believed there had been other loops. That belief, his faith in her, succeeded in warming her heart just a little.

Soon enough, the pair reached the tip of Temporal Tower. There in front of them was the alter Sara had visited hundreds of times, the five Time Gears humming within their slots. Laying on the dais before them was the mountainous blue-and-white form of Dialga. A dull rumble came from him as he seemed to snore. She’d asked Wigglytuff about this once, and apparently all Legendaries were usually dormant, only waking when their power was needed. At their footsteps however the legend’s red eyes flared to life. His head rose from where is had been resting on his forelegs, a growl formed in his throat, one that could easily turn into a time-rending roar if he so pleased.

Sara took a step forward. At this point, she thought herself an expert on fighting Dialga. She was certainly the only non-Legendary who had defeated him more than once. As soon as he laid eyes on her though, the growl died, his eyes lost their anger. Now he looked upon her with an expression more like pity. “Ah, I wondered when you would come to me,” the Legend growled. Even after three-hundred tries and more contact with Legendaries than most Pokemon would ever experience in a thousand lifetimes, Sara still wasn’t prepared for how the Lord of Time communicated. The words were pressed into her mind, almost forced directly into her brain. She’d spoken mentally with Psychics before, but their inner voices were always quiet and soothing, not the deep boom that Dialga, Palkia, and even Cressalia used.

“Yes,” Sara said, the Rockruff’s face twisted into an angry, stony expression . “And I demand that you put a stop to it.”

It had been Reece’s idea to come see Dialga. He was the only Pokemon either knew of with such great control over time to construct the kind of time loop that Sara was suffering within. He also seemed to at least have motive too. Maybe this was his way to make up for almost ending the world, to ensure through Sara that it could never be ended. Both of the young Pokemon considered him the only being who could somehow help them out of it.

The Legend dared to chuckle. “You have steel in your bones girl, something I always admired about you. But that doesn’t give you the right to speak to me this way. Do it again and I might just remove you from this timeline once more.”

Sara scoffed and didn’t change her tone in the slightest. “Go ahead. But then I’ll just be back again, and again, and again until you end this. Of course, you erasing me might be the one thing that might grant me peace.”

Dialga’s expression faltered again. “For a time perhaps, but you and I both know that you would simply return to where you first entered this world. I do apologize dear Rockruff, but it is not I who did this to you and so I an unable to stop it.”

Sara’s legs collapsed beneath her. “Then who?” She whimpered.

“That I do not know child. The only beings I know of with enough power to accomplish this feat are myself, Celebi, and Darkrai.”

“Celebi, Darkrai?” Sara repeated to herself. But which? Which was doing this.

“If you didn’t do it,” Reece interjected, “how do you even know about it.”

“I am the Lord of Time,” Dialga snarled. “I can clearly see the centuries weighing on her, I can see the trauma of hundreds of torturous deaths.” Once again his expression dripped into one of pity as he gazed upon the shivering Rockruff. “I cannot save you human, but I know what could. Whether it may be Celebi or Darkrai doing this to you, I am certain that defeating Darkrai will end this.”

Sara glared up at the powerful being. “Easier said than done. I have tried over a hundred times and never have I even seen Darkrai.”

Dialga nodded, his eyes flaring. “Correct. But you’ve never had me with you. He waved one of his hoof-like feet over her, and suddenly she felt a weight around her neck. A pendant, hanging from a thin leather cord had appeared as if from nowhere. The pendant itself was a Time Gear, only smaller, hardly larger than one of her paws. She could feel something from it, like a heartbeat or the ticking of a clock, emanating out in time with her own pulse.

“My blessing,” Dialga explained. “When the time comes, you may use it to call me, and I will fight alongside you. And, if we are to fail and you are sent back, it should remain with you. After you restore the Time Gears then, it will again be available to you.”

Sara’s heart leapt for the first time in quite a while, at least the first time in this loop. Was this it? Was there finally a way to end this? To end the loops? She wasn’t sure yet, but for the first time in a while she had hope.

---

It was time. The pair had evolved, the Guild was ready, Sara had summoned Dialga who knew where to meet them. This was it, what could possibly be the final battle.

Sara had a hard time sleeping that night, as she did every night before her last day. As had become a tradition for her, she waited the entire night atop the bluff staring out at the ocean. In that time she let herself forget. Her mind seemingly detaching itself from her body and sinking into the landscape. It was beautiful, this night always was. As if the world itself was saying goodbye to her. Small waves crashed against the ocean, softer than she would have heard within their cave home. The sky was dotted with innumerable stars, entire galaxies spread across a deep blue canvas.

After the centuries she had spent as a Rockruff, she barely remembered the relatively short time she had spent as a human. In fact she might have forgotten that fact had she not reminded herself at the beginning of every loop. It was perhaps the only thing that kept her herself. She remembered the sky from the human world, it’s beauty. She wished that someday she would see it again.

A calm breeze wafted across the clifftop, the long cozy grasses around her rustling with it. Eventually though, she spoke up. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Reece froze. He thought he had been completely silent. In all fairness to him, he had been. Sara just knew this night too well. She could sense even the slightest differences in it.

“I should ask you the same thing,” he said softly. “Tomorrow is an important day. You need your rest.”

“I’ve had more than three thousand years of rest,” Sara said evenly, not even turning to face him. “Tonight is one of the only nights of peace I get. Let me have this.”

Reece was silent for a moment. “Will you allow me to share it with you?”

Sara said nothing, but she nodded. Shifting over slightly to let the full-grown Ampharos lay at her side. One of his hands reached out over her to rest on the chest of the Midday Lycanroc. Midday, just like the first time.

The pair sat there for a while, watching the sky and ocean. At least Sara was watching the sky and sea. Reece was watching Sara.

“Look, I don’t mean to interrupt-” Reece began.

“-Then don’t.” Sara said with a sigh.

“I have to. I’ve been thinking, for years, of Dialga’s gift to you, and how it will follow you even if we fail tomorrow. I wanted to give you something myself, so that you won’t be alone once again.”

“Reece, you don’t have that kind of power, and you’ve never remembered a single loop. You’d never believe the complete stranger you just met at the beach. What could you possibly give me?”

He nodded. “You’re right. I wouldn’t trust a complete stranger. That is why you won’t be a stranger to me.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works. You won’t remember, and all I will have is Dialga’s token. I’ll be the same as I was the day I landed in this world.”

“I’m not trying to remember,” Reece insisted, “I’m trying to trust. Sara, in any of the loops did I ever tell you about my sister?”

Sara flinched, sifting through thousands of years of memories. “No, I-I don’t think you ever did.”

Reece shifted uncomfortably. “It’s probably my deepest secret,” he admitted. “I promised myself that I would only ever tell my mate someday.” He shot a sideways glance at Sara. “We never…?”

The Lycanroc giggled. “No. Or at least we never made it that far. A few times we became partners, but never mates.” She grinned at him. “If this is your way of asking Reece, I admit this isn’t the best time.”

The Ampharos shook his head. “No, no. I don’t think either of us are there yet. At least I’m not. Just listen.” His voice had taken on a much more somber tone. “My parents died when we were very young. She was only a few years old, and I was barely a year older.”

“Reece,” Sara said, sounding worried at the tone of his voice, “you don’t have to… what does this..?

“-Let me finish. I have to do this.” He gritted his teeth. “They were killed. I still don’t know who did it. We were told to run. To never look back. We were kids, we had no idea where to go. We got lost in the woods, took a few wrong turns and…” his voice broke, but he kept talking the words coming in a rush. “We couldn’t see where we were going, she was only a few steps ahead of me. Neither of us knew there was a cliff…”

“Reece, I…” Sara had no idea what to say, especially as he turned his head to the side. She saw tears dripping from his chin, the drops glittering in the starlight as they fell.

“Charlotte.” He said. “Her name was Charlotte. I am the only one who knows she even existed.” He turned back to Sara. “I didn’t tell you that for pity. I told you because I wanted you to know about it. If tomorrow never comes, and you are sent back to the beginning, tell me Charlotte’s name when you wake up. Even if I know nothing about you, I will trust you immediately. You won’t have to be alone again Sara. I promise you that.”

Like when Dialga had given her support, Sara’s heart warmed. Though this time it was even more intense. Not for the first time she wondered if, with Reece sharing her burden, would the last 322 iterations have been bearable?

She closed her eyes leaning against him. “Thank you,” she whispered, burying her face into his soft wool. And for the first time, she slept.

---

All for nothing. In the end it was all for nothing.

It was a new day, it was a new plan. The Guild was on their side. Dialga and Cressalia were on their side. They had every advantage. And yet it still didn’t work. In the end, once again they lost. And it was bloody.

Sunflora, Bidoof, Dugtrio. They hadn’t stood a chance. Chatot, Wigglytuff, the pair had managed to take down two of the Delphox’s crew, but the sorcerer himself had finally taken them down. Cressalia was also dead by his hand, and Dialga had been forced to retreat. His death would have effectively ended the world. It was just Reece, Sara and the Delphox. It was how it always somehow ended up.

For her part, Sara did her best to stay between the monster and Reece. As far as she knew, she would just reset if she died, but Reece would just die. For this version of Reece at least, it would be the end. Just like all the other times. She fought with all she had, her will ripping rocks from the Earth. The ones in her mane sharpening to razors along with her teeth and claws. For a moment, the Delphox fell back, actually seeming afraid. She even managed to rip the wand from his hand and snap it in two. Unfortunately the Delphox seemed just as powerful with his hands. Both of them filling with Fire as he swiped at her with his claws. She could hardly keep up, blocking and dodging blows as quickly as he could land them. Still she wasn’t flawless. Sure she managed to cut his chest, and break three of the fingers on his right hand, but she was missing an ear and had small cuts and burns all over her body. She was slowing down as well, and he seemed to have limitless energy.

Finally the end did come. He broke through her defenses and grabbed her by the throat. “Reece, run,” she gasped. She didn’t see what happened to him after that. She could only hang limply in the Delphox’s grip. He grinned at her as he slowly squeezed the life out of her.

“Is it this time already Sara?” He chuckled, “It was cruel of them to expect you to fight me. It was always going to go this way. I’m sorry.”

“What are you?’ Sara spat, gulping desperately for air, but not quite getting enough.

“You haven’t guessed yet? My, my Sara I’m insulted. After 322 tries, I would have thought you would put it together.” As he said the number Sara’s blood ran cold. No, no, it couldn’t be.

“Shame. Oh well, you have so many more tries. Well, I guess it is only fair to give you a hint. He held up his other hand, the flames within suddenly turned jet black. They expanded, flowing in a long ribbon, like smoke. The ribbon twisted upon itself, weaving a complex shape around the Delphox. A very recognizable shape. Darkrai. A single red patch of flames marked his eye that seemed just as alive as the Delphox’s behind it. A wide smile split his face, leering and cruel. If she hadn’t already been fighting for air, it would have taken her breath away.

“Please,” Sara begged. She didn’t expect mercy from them, but it was all she had left. “Let it end. Let me die. I can’t do this anymore. Please.”

“But my dear,” the voice came from the smokey Darkrai in a long hiss. “If I let you go, you wouldn’t be punished.”

“Punishment?” Sara choked. She had tears in her eyes, but she couldn’t tell if they were her, or from her slow strangulation.

“You dared stand against me,” Darkrai laughed. “You thought you could stop me. And so I had to keep you here trapped. You will never escape. You will never beat me. I can send you back any time I want, you understand, but I give you ten years. I allow you to create hope for yourself. And then I shatter it.” Sara felt the Delphox’s claws dig into her neck as he squeezed even harder. “Goodbye Sara. See you in ten years.”

Sara closed her eyes. She felt the Delphox’s fingers pulse, she felt the sharp crack, and then, once again, she was laying in the embrace of cool water. She gulped at the air greedily, as she awoke, already pushing herself to her feet even before she heard the little “H-hey. He-hello? Are you okay there?” as young Reece approached her for the 323rd time.

She ignored him for a moment, Darkrai’s last words echoing through her head. This wasn’t fate, this wasn’t intervention by a Legendary. This was a prison. And even with Dialga’s blessing, even with several hundred lifetimes of knowledge she couldn’t see a way out.

“Are you alright?” Reece asked, following a script he didn’t even know existed.

Sara regarded him for a moment. He was so earnest. So caring, and she was merely a stranger to him once again. But not for long, Sara thought as she once again allowed hope into her heart. Darkrai thought that she couldn’t beat him, but she wouldn’t give up. Together Reece and her had done the impossible. And now, with him at her side, she was going to do it again.

“Charlotte,” she said instead of answering, looking deep into his eyes. He took a step back, nearly tripping over his tail, his expression shifting into one of horror, but also curiosity. “My name is Sara, and we have so much to talk about.