With Apologies to Rei the Snivy

“C’mon, you’ve gotta get something!”

Ennea tried her best to lead Autumnal into the queue. This would be a lot easier if she could just yank him over, but diplomacy was the only option at the moment.

Autumnal placed a paw on his stomach and shook his head.

“There’s no way you aren’t hungry, it took us forever to get here! Besides, support local businesses, y’know?” She looked around the café for emphasis. Despite being a new place, it was supremely cozy, and the staff seemed really likable. “It’ll be good, I promise! Food and drinks taste better when you share ‘em!”

That finally gave Autumnal pause. Absentmindedly tapping his hip with the curl of a tail, he scanned over the menu. Victory for Ennea!

Following his gaze made Ennea see that the queue had ended for the first time since they’d entered.

“Oh shoot, the line’s gone! We can’t waste this opportunity!”

“Qlur, vyr U susb’r rwkk tiy qglr U’n fwrrubf—!”

Ennea scampered on up to the counter, coming face to face with the Snivy playing the part of the barista.

“Welcome to Minccino’s Café,” he greeted, before noticeably dropping his volume to a mumble. “Chesto chuggers’ paradise… may I take your order?”

Spiky hair was poking out from under his hat. Or wait, was it hair, or like, grass or something? Ennea’d never seen a Snivy with a hairstyle before. It was kinda cool….

The Snivy narrowed his eyes. “W-would you like to order, or…?”

“Ah, um, right! Sorry!” Ennea craned her head up at the menu again. “Could I get a mochaccino with cinnamon, please? And an almond biscotti on the side!”

The Snivy took down the order on a paper. He was strangely skilled with his hands for a Snivy. “…Alright. That’ll be 30 Poké.”

“Whoa, really? That’s crazy cheap! How do you keep prices that low?”

“I don’t— Sorry, I don’t know, I just work here. It’s a temp thing.”

“Right. Well, that’s all for me.” Ennea stepped to the side to show off Autumnal. “And he’ll have—”

Ennea froze, her smile suddenly strained. Oh no. I forgot to figure out what he was getting. She glanced behind them. A new line had already formed, and it was looking quite long.

Well, time to improvise. “Alright Autumnal, tell him what you want.”

Autumnal raised an eyebrow before sighing and stepping up to the counter. When he started to gesture, the poor Snivy hunched over, nearly faceplanting onto the counter.

“Sir.” The Snivy weakly waved off Autumnal’s pantomiming. “That doesn’t mean anything to me. Please just tell me what you want.”

“Mm.” Autumnal started to gesture again.

“Are you like, mute or something?”

“H-he kinda is, yeah.”

The Snivy screwed his eyes shut, shakily setting his pencil down before somehow managing to compose himself. “Then you can just point to what you want on the menu. That’ll be easier.”

Autumnal stepped back and scanned over the menu a few times, before turning to Ennea and shaking his head.

“Um. I think it’s not on there, Mr…?”

“Call me Rei. And I’m sorry, but if it isn’t on the menu, then we don’t have it. Please order something else.”

“Mm-mm!” Autumnal shook his head, pointed at Rei, then held an invisible cup in a paw.

Ennea straightened up. “It’s okay! I’ll translate! That was ‘you do have it!’ Keep going, I’m sure we can figure this out!”

Autumnal made a grabbing motion, pointed to his eyeliner, pretended to drink from a cup, then widened his eyes to a comical degree.

Uh oh. He was giving Ennea a tough one. “Okay, so you want… an eye… drink? Like, eyedrops or something?”

“I can’t serve eyedrops, that would give him a stomachache,” Rei pleaded before deadpanning under his breath. “…to go along with my headache….”

“Maybe it’s a component? What’s in eyeliner anyway? Is there anything edible in it?”

“That’s—. Why would you think—? No, there’s not.”

Autumnal huffed, then pointed to his eyeliner again, then his fur, then his cape.

“Okay, I’m completely lost.” Ennea jolted when Rei’s glare was redirected at her. “I’m usually better at this, I promise! Food items are just difficult!”

Rei sighed, seeming to give up as Autumnal pointed out different parts of his cape. “…You washed that thing recently? The colors are getting dull.”

Autumnal jumped up and pointed at Rei!

“…Alright, jesus. You don’t have to freak out at me.”

“No wait, that means you’re onto something!” Ennea spun around to her partner. “What part, Autumnal? The cape? The washing?”

He shook his head, then had a paw move further. After that.

“The colors!” Ennea used her paws in the air to retrace her steps. “Okay, so you want a drink with the color of your eyes! That’s weirdly poetic, but I’m down for it.”

“No,” Rei corrected. “There’s no way that’s it, he kept bulging his eyes out after—” He smacked a hand to his forehead. “…God dammit. Are you seriously trying to tell me you want one black coffee??”

“Mhm. Aieet.” Autumnal gave poor Rei an apologetic bow.

“…Why do I get all the problem customers?” Rei groaned. “I don’t get paid enough for this….”

“You don’t get paid at all~!” a voice called out from the back.

“It’s okay, we figured it out! A mochaccino with cinnamon, an almond biscotti, and one black coffee!”

Ennea attempted to stand strong… but the frustration of the line behind them was starting to get palpable, and Rei hadn’t brought his head up yet….

“…What size.”

Ah. Fuck. “Um. Just… give us the largest. Both of us.” Ennea dropped way more coins than necessary on the counter. “K-keep the change. Thank you!”

---

“Well, that could’ve gone better.” Ennea tepidly sipped her drink. Though the café was nice, after that debacle they’d decided it would be better to sit outside.

Autumnal just shrugged, leaving his cup on the table.

Ennea raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on, after all that you’re not even gonna drink your drink? We basically ruined that barista’s whole day and you’re leaving your coffee—”

She tilted the cup towards her, only to find a few black drops remaining at the bottom.

“Wha—?”

Autumnal shrugged again, using the motion to wipe a small dribble of coffee from the corner of his mouth.

“Hah!” Ennea slammed her paws down on the table, leaning over nearly half of it. “You were hungry! Or thisty! Oh wait, it’s gotta be both, right?!” She fished into the paper bag she’d been given and shoved over half a cookie. “C’mon, we can share my biscotti! Or wait, maybe we can put on a disguise so that we can get back in there and order something else! Oh, we could totally do something with your hair that’ll make you look different! Do you think we could make it spiky like that Snivy’s? We should totally try to make it spiky! We could even do an accessory swap so that—”

Autumnal gave a small, uneasy smile as Ennea prattled on. He nibbled on the snack she’d shared with him, wondering just how much worse they were about to make Rei’s day.

…But wouldn’t you know it, food you shared really did taste better.