VOID
by Shanna
A Poke’mon Mystery Dungeon Story
Written By:
Shanna (Aka OiOiMeDuckies)
Co-Authored By:
Campix
(This story will contain scenes of violence, prejudice, abuse, medical triggers, isolation, disassociation. Please always use caution when reading and keep yourself protected/healthy while consuming intense media)
Chapter 1
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Void
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…
Darkness.
All around, nothing but darkness. An endless void.
It goes on. A lightless abyss. Nothing is here. It’s completely silent.
Just silent.
Nothing pierces the dark. Nothing breaks the silence. He is simply there. A nothing. A hazy formless nothing alone in the silent void.
As though he had been abandoned.
What was he…? Was there anything left of him?
He…couldn’t feel his body. Couldn’t feel anything. He was aware he was here. So he had that. He had sentience, He had his thoughts.
…He had a cold, creeping sense of dread, of fear. There was that, too. Fear meant he had the gamut of emotions. Probably. He only really felt the creeping fear so far. But that was probably good, right?
He had a sense of self. He had fear. He had thoughts.
But….Did he have anything else? Was this… The start? Of everything?
The anxiety could only well. For a long time, nothing answered his fear but yet more silence.
He was awake. Aware. He couldn’t remember this place…but he had been here a long, long time.
Then, something. His ears tingled with the sensation of sound. Faint voices. Hushed, quiet, nigh imperceptible, but they were there. Deep in the black void voices spoke silently to one another, muffled.
They were getting closer, he could feel it, but not see them. Closer…
Abruptly the voices ceased. In his vision was an explosion of light! A brilliant mystical orb shone upon him from the void!
It’s ethereal light was all he could see, strange and beckoning. Comforting, if for it being the only presence
The voices were gone. It was just him…and the orb. He felt…listless. No body. No mouth with which to scream. The brightness of the orb slowly lessened as his eyes adjusted.
‘…dilating…’
The orb was silent for a while. All around it, in the void, fainter lights slowly came into views, ones that seem to bleed into the dark, just barely able to be seen around the orb.
“Have you finally awoken?”
The orb seemed to…pulse as the words were spoken. No voice, no inflection. His mind simply knew, somehow. Things were simply too hazy.
“Can you tell me your name?”
Of course I can’t! I can’t speak! I don’t have a mouth!
…Annoyance. That was a new emotion. That was good, something other than anxiety. Annoyance, in contrast to anxiety, felt…powerful. Fueled. Like he was moving forward instead of shrinking backwards. It still felt mean, it was still negative, but… It was better than being terrified.
I’m pretty sure I don’t even have a body. I haven’t even been born yet. Don’t you assign a name to someone after they’ve been born??
He’d just said it out of the blue but…that made sense too. What didn’t make sense was that… he knew that. He knew what happened after someone was born. If he hadn’t been born yet, how would he come across that nugget of information?
…Come to think of it, if he was waiting to be born, he’d still have a body. That came before sentience, even! So…he was alive. He had a body. He’d been born. And now he just… Wasn’t? He wasn’t any of those things?
A new sensation again came to him. His mouth. A tingle over…lips. A tongue that hadn’t been used in years lay lethargic and useless in his mouth. His throat came back to him. His jaw. Everything was dry. Raspy. As though his mouth hadn’t touched water in centuries.
“Hello? Your name? Do you remember your name?”
He wheezed. Coughed. Gasped. He wasn’t prepared for that. It was his, but he couldn’t feel anything else. Everything else was numb, and the only sensation he had was pain and discomfort-
He didn’t even know if he could hear himself. He didn’t know if he had ears. But he tried to speak. He tried to speak the first thing that came to mind.
Avery. That… That was me, right? That’s who I was before I…before…
He could feel his mouth moving. Feel the vibrations of his voice. It felt clumsy. Out of practice. Foreign. He wondered if his name even got through…
He almost hoped he wouldn’t be able to hear it. Somehow he expected whatever his voice turned out to be would be a lot less…organized than his thoughts. And with the anxiety and pain and discomfort all melding together he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle hearing his own garbled sentences.
But then, he felt something else. On his tongue. Cold water. As though it were materializing in his mouth by magic for him to swallow.
“Avery…good. So you remembered.”
There was a silence for a while. More water appeared in his mouth, wetting his dry tongue and throat bit by bit.
Soon, the orb began to speak again.
“Avery, you are at the gateway to the world of poke’mon, far from the world of humans.”
The orb was silent again. Faintly, he could hear murmuring.
“If you would, please answer some-“
The orb flickered. The voice fell completely silent.
A long, uncomfortable pause ensured.
…
‘…again…’
A voice chimed. His ears were ringing, but he could feel them. The voice was…different from the one before. It was a woman’s voice. Calm…soothing, talking as though she read from a script.
“If you saw a wallet on the side of the road, what would you do with it?”
… What? What are you- a wallet? I… I feel like there’s… I feel like there’s some very important things to go through before I answer any questions! Like where I am! And why I can’t feel anything but my mouth! I couldn’t even hear myself!
I know I exist, I just drank water, but… If I’m at the gateway to the world of Pokémon why didn’t I… Why didn’t…
…
I’d look for the owner. Pull out their ID, see if there’s a phone number in there. The person lost their wallet, they’re going through enough. They don’t need me to steal money from them, too.
The orb was silent at his answer. He remembered what a wallet was. What an ID was. Money. He had a moral compass. Things slowly became less hazy. At last, the voice spoke again.
“What Did you Want to Be As A Child?”
Annoyance reared its head again, drowning out anxiety. Anger was there behind it. These two voices… Who were they? What was the point of these questions? Didn’t they see he was going through a crisis? Was this some sort of game to them?
… An astronaut. I wanted to explore space. Be up there, see things so few people had ever seen…
The orb was silent again. Water formed upon His tongue for him to swallow, the numbness in his body slowly dissipating.
…
Was this going to be forever? Being given water, unable to feel anything else, croaking out answers to some sort of personality quiz? He remembered space. Remembered people. Remembered his childhood. The orb pulsed again, the questions continuing despite his annoyance.
“Would You Open an Envelope With the Date of Your Death Inside?”
…His thoughts were dry. He already know what would be inside it. Whatever day yesterday was.
Sardonic humor. That was getting at least somewhat close to a positive emotion.
…No. Maybe I’d be tempted out of a morbid curiosity, but… No.
He tried to reach for something, some aspect he could reach for from whatever his old life was, so he could remember it. Like he’d done with wallets and space. But he couldn’t. His courage. His perception of death. His depersonalization was fading away. Another question came, the kindly voice talking warmly and patiently the whole time.
“If you could see a measuring scale above people’s heads, what would you want this scale to measure?”
He’d want it to measure how much they enjoy keeping people in black voids and peppering them with weird questions.
…He’d tried to hold onto that sardonic humor from before, but…that punchline didn’t land. It wasn’t as good. A bit of desperation was starting to slide in to replace it. Another negative emotion. Whoever this voice was must have the patience of a saint.
I’d want it to measure how much they like me. Whether we’re friends, or enemies, or acquaintances. I don’t like making a fool of myself by assuming I’m closer to someone than I actually am.
His expectations of others…the concept of his wants in a group. They were set. Rather, they were there. They always were. Surely. The orb was quiet again. He faintly could hear another murmur, off to the side, deep in the void, before the kindly voice finally continued.
“Would you be friends with yourself?”
….Who are you talking to? Why am I not allowed to see anything?
… I’m scared. Please, just…give me something. Please, I’m scared, can’t you see that? Can’t you hear it in my voice? In my expression, in anything? I don’t know what’s happening…I’m scared and alone and all you’re doing is asking questions-
…
Deep breaths. He had to take deep breaths to calm himself down. Even if he didn’t have lungs… he knew that was better than panicking. He just imagined it. In… And out. In… And out.
I would. I don’t like being alone. I’d know that about myself. I don’t like feeling alone. I’d want friends… Family… Anything.
Companionship, a core value. It came flooding back, washing over him. Mixing with the fear, the isolation, the loneliness. The questions simply kept coming. It was like this could go on forever.
It had been going on forever. How many times had he answered these?
“If Someone Stole Bread to Feed Their Family, Would You Consider Them A Bad Person?”
What? No, I- I don’t… No. No, of course not, greedy people don’t steal things like bread-! If someone stole for greed it’d be something expensive, not-
Why are we doing this? How long have we been doing this? How long have I been here? Please- please, I don’t know who you are, but let me go. Let me go, I want to go home-!
His position in a more morally ambiguous situation was set. His pleas, if they were even spoke at all, were ignored. The voice simply continued on, reaching a peculiar question.
“You see a cube. How large is it?”
I…I don’t…it’s small! I could hold it in a hand! I don’t know! Why does this matter?! What does a cube have to do with any of this?! Stop it! At least tell me what’s going on! Tell me why you’re asking these questions!
…I won’t answer any more. I’m not going to give you one more answer to your dumb questions until I get some in return. I don’t know who you are, voice. But if these questions are important to you, knowing what’s happening is important to me.
He tried to be haughty. Mold that ghost of annoyance that had been there earlier into a weapon he could wield against whoever this person was. Guarantee some sort of answer, clarity, anything.
But he was still scared. He was still so scared. The orb did not acknowledge his outburst. But faint murmuring erupted deep in the void.
‘…precise timing…promising…’
The voice continued regardless, only responding to his answer, drowning out the hushed muttering.
“Where is it located? What is its surroundings?”
…..No. No. I’m not…I’m not going to answer. I said I wouldn’t answer, and…and I won’t. You can’t do this to me. I don’t want to be here for eternity, answering questions over and over. I don’t…I-I don’t…
On a table. It’s on a table. It’s on a table in a room, there’s supposed to be people there but there aren’t any. There’s no one there, okay? Please. Please tell me where I am-
The orb barreled over his begging, drowning out his thoughts.
“There is a ladder by the cube. How large is it? How is it oriented to the cube?”
Leaned up against it! I don’t know! It’s a tiny ladder! Of course it’s leaned up by it, where else would it be? Is that it? Am I done?
Can I wake up??
I can’t hear! I can’t see! I can’t feel anything but my own mouth and my heart,
somewhere, seizing up in fear!
Why are you doing this to me!?
Let me go!
Let me go!!
The orb was silent.
For a long time silent. The only words now were those of his own begging until even those silenced in the wake of their fruitlessness.
The orb just…sat there. Silent.
No more words. Just an uncomfortable, deathly silence.
He was alone. Alone with the orb and no way to escape it, as though the light were staring at him.
Finally, a voice pierced the dark. Quiet, not at all directed at him.
“This one.”
The orb vanished. The black void returned. His ears were ringing now. His mouth was dry again…wasn’t it just wet from all the water he had? All those questions…far flung memories from long ago. Everything he had answered, all the knowledge he had drawn from…felt distant, like a dream…
…like something had slipped from him. Was any of that real? Were any of those answers real or were they gibberish said on autopilot?
He could be certain of two things: His name was Avery. He was a human. He knew who he was. Everything else…was white noise.
But it didn’t matter. For he was alone again. Alone in dark silence. No warmth to comfort him, no voice guiding him. Just…abandoned.
Desperation gave way to anger. To anxiety. To despair. He was losing himself again. He could feel it. He was going away, and…maybe this time he wasn’t coming back. Maybe this time he’d die. Maybe he was already dead.
….The gateway to the world of Pokémon.
The gateway…to the world…of Pokémon.
It was so cold in the void. So cold and lonely. Being so alone was terrifying. Saddening.
And just as it felt as though it’d drag on forever…he felt water in his mouth again, wetting his dried tongue.
Behind his eyelids was a light. He cracked them open, let his eyes adjust to the light, to the orb. It came back. Something here with him again after so long. The voice from long ago returned, asking a single question.
“If you could be friends with any poke’mon, which would you choose…?”
…A riolu.
What did it matter?
This was forever. This darkness. Water, every few years. Questions. Always with the questions. There was no point to it.
Yet…this time his words caused a change. The orb seemed to shift. This…was different.
The cold of the void seemed to warm. He could hear a laugh. Mirthful and playful.
Though his eyes didn’t see it, he still saw it. A vision, like a vivid memory being recalled.
He could see a riolu. Its blue fur. Its swaying black locks. Its crimson eyes seemed to sparkle. There, in that void…
…he had a friend. It was smiling and happy to see him.
The warmth swirled around him.
Seeing it. Choosing it…things felt less lonely here.
…he didn’t know who the riolu was. He wasn’t even sure if he should…believe it. Maybe it was another trick. But…Even so. He felt warmer with the riolu. Better with it. Even if it wasn’t here. Even if he wasn’t here. It was a glimmer of hope. A respite from the cold and dark void. A needed comfort in an abyss so bereft of it. And he knew…he knew he could find that riolu. Out there, somewhere.
Avery needed to only get out of here, out to wherever it was he was to be sent. The riolu would be there. Its smile would greet him. Everything would be ok.
He could feel something. A deep longing in his heart. A strange and alien and invasive sadness slowly filled his emotions, growing every moment he weren’t out there and finally meeting the riolu. Missing out…not a part of their life.
The strange longing ached. Another negative emotion. Even that little bit of friendliness, that little bit of hope…warped. Twisted like an arm in a cruel grip.
…He had to find them. He didn’t know where he was or who he was but he had to find them, as long as that meant that this could end.
Slowly…the vision faded. But the memory was clear, the emotions were strong and lingered with him. They were the strongest feelings he had in his heart as the orb began to fade again.
Then it vanished again. Darkness.
His lungs had no air! He took a sharp breath! Out of nowhere, his heart was now beating, pounding. It was as though he’d been jolted awake. Water appeared in his dry mouth to wet it once more. It had been mere moments since the orb vanished. Right? How long was he here?
His body was numb again, but was feeling was there…it was wrong. It was all wrong. Sickeningly twisted, though he could hardly remember what shape it was meant to be…it wasn’t meant to be this.
Yet as his heart thrummed in his chest, he felt alert. His body felt…good. Twisted but…very able, even as he was totally numb. It was a cacophony of utterly contradictory feelings. His mind was hazy. More water. He’d never had water before. Not with these lips.
Breathing haggard. He could practically vomit. He didn’t know if he was dead or not. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it mattered. He was stuck in purgatory. And he would be forever.
[[ Final check ]]
A voice, different from all the rest, rang out from the void, pounding against Avery’s sensitive ears.
[[ Stabilized ]]
Avery’s mouth couldn’t move. Everything was locked up.
[[ Deployment Ready ]]
And all at once…everything went from scary to horrible.
Which…funnily enough, were two very different things.
[[ Deploy Final ]]
The void began to fade. Like a smoky black mist Avery seemed to pass through a cloud into a bright and blinding light. His eyes stung but he could not close them. He felt the warmth of the sun on his back. He felt the chill of a spring’s breeze. The light slowly melted, his eyes adjusting. Before his eyes melted in the visage of blue skies, decorated with fluffy white clouds lazily floating.
But the clouds were below him. The wind howled in his ear. His fur whipped and quivered in the billowing air.
He were falling. Falling from high in the sky.
His body was numb. Rigid. He couldn’t move a single muscle as he plummeted downwards, into a cloud, a fog of white obscuring the world around him briefly, moisture upon his fur, before he broke out the bottom. Spread before him was a grand vista of land, spread for miles and miles in every direction, Mountains, hills, forests, lakes, valleys, rivers, all spanning seemingly infinitely around him. And it was rising up to meet him as he plunged downward.
But…he…he had a body. He had a body! Warmth! Fur! Senses!
…Fur? That didn’t seem right. He didn’t have fur. He wasn’t supposed to have fur…
An entire world, stretching below him. Bright, green, colorful. Whizzing past clouds, feeling the air screaming past him, the cool wind whipping his ears back. It felt so wonderful. It felt so wonderful to feel and see and hear…
…even if he was falling…and falling…and falling…he couldn’t change that. Even if he could move.
He just…enjoyed the breeze.
The world below rose up faster. Faster. Faster!
A vast field of green grass rushed up to meet him.
Until-
There was no pain.
He did not black out. He tumbled, rolled, limbs rigidly affixed in placed and he slammed down into the grass. Skidded. Came to a stop on his back. He could only look up towards the sky, to the clouds he had not a moment before been amongst, all of it framed by gently swaying grass. The ringing in his ears was subsiding. The throbbing of his heart and head vanishing. His limbs still remained stiffly locked in place, unmoving, body totally numb.
He could finally hear the gentle rustling of grass.
[[ BEGIN ]]
A sharp breath. Like water rushing over him, feeling returned to his body. His rigid limbs flopped down, spilling upon the ground as they were all released at once.
Deep breaths…deep breaths…
Calmer breaths…
Calmer…
At last…at long last…Avery lied in the grass, feeling it tickle against him. He could feel the cool and gentle breeze blowing over the field. He could smell the cold air, the wet scent of the foliage filled his lungs.
And it was so…
silent.
Just silent.
Chapter 1
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Void
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